May 6, 2025- We have talked many times about the importance of living in the now and not allowing the past to control the present as well as excessive worrying about the future. With that said, present happiness on a daily basis is greatly enhanced when someone has a plan for the future. Whether the planning relates to economics, romance, professional development, specific career choice, better relationships with people or whatever the plan might be for the future. The point is when people are planning for the future and see successes on a daily basis leading to whatever goals they desire to accomplish, then daily happiness is greatly enhanced. The problem with people that worry all the time or do not plan for the future is that there is no certainty in their lives. They could live day-to-day with a certain level of happiness, but their moods can drift like a dry leaf in the wind when bad or unexpected things happen. Future planning is critical in an age that Social Security is not seen as guaranteed income in the future by many financial experts, retirement plans no longer have for the most part guaranteed pensions when you retire, and inflation is seen these days on a daily basis eroding the value of one’s savings and earnings. My point is not to be negative, but to indicate one must plan taking into account the realities of a constantly shifting and changing world. Changes have always taken place, but obviously the importance for those of us living at this particular time is that we make choices based on good planning for our lifespace. One example of poor planning in a university town like East Lansing is where many people get degrees in areas with very few job opportunities. One may enjoy the period they are learning something about ancient archaeology or some other area that has little job opportunity, but in the long run, there is going to be little happiness if one has huge debt and is not able to obtain a good job and be able to have the type things that people desire. These would include a home, a nice car,vacations,eating out,job opportunities and some form of a family that often includes a loving spouse and children. When one hears what we are discussing today, it seems very simple. The problem is so many persons who find themselves mired in anxiety, depression, debt, bad job opportunities, and poor relationships are often the result of poor planning and simply living day-to-day and not making good decisions for the future. When one makes good decisions for the future, they see the progress along the way, and there is a level of stability and happiness in themselves that is reflected in the success in their lives. It also can lead to a person being able to sacrifice in the present with the recognition that the sacrifices will lead to a much better life in the future. My father always told me that if you prepare the first 10 years after high school, the rest of your life will be so much easier. He was right and I give that same advice to persons I encounter in my work and in life.

April 22, 2025- Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss CAN PEOPLE REALLY CHANGE? SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOUTUBE PAGE

April 15, 2025- People pleasers are generally liked because they are so ready to bend to the will of others and agree to do things that they really do not want to do but feel they must do in order to be well liked and accepted. People pleasers are often very friendly and open. They often have problems saying no and are afraid to present their own views because they might offend someone. As a result, they are always agreeing with others. The classic problem of the people pleaser is that they will say yes to things that they have no business doing because of other responsibilities they have and will not be able to complete. They say yes because they do not want to offend someone and they feel that they need to do this in order to be liked. Trying to accommodate people and do things to be helpful are commendable characteristics. The problem occurs when you almost become invisible psychologically because your goal of pleasing others totally eliminates your views. This means if somebody has very strong views on religion, politics, the best color for a house, the best car or anything they may believe strongly, the people pleaser will find themselves agreeing with whatever opinion the person has. The problem is the people pleaser may have completely different views, but feel they should not say them. People pleasers also too often take blame if someone else is unhappy or having a difficult time and somehow come to the conclusion it is their responsibility to make them happy. People pleasers often grew up in an environment where they were fearful of consequences or emotional abuse if they had opinions different than their parents, guardians or persons with responsibility over them. It came to the point they would always go along with what was asked of them. The obvious problem is that people pleasers continue to have this attitude long after they are children and into adulthood. Poor self-esteem is the result when you are fearful of presenting your own views and you hide your own feelings so you will people please another person. Typical characteristics of people pleasers include going along with whatever other people are saying around you, agreeing to things you may not agree with it all, not being able to say no, being willing to accept the blame and apologizing for things that you are not at all responsible for, seeing your value as a person dependent on how others see you and changing your personality and outlook based on the person you are talking to. You can imagine how this can cause a problem if you get two people you have agreed with that have totally different views and you are now the third person in a discussion. Negative outcomes for the people pleaser include not caring for themselves emotionally, they tend to have low self-esteem because their self-esteem depends on how others see them, they can have tremendous resentment from the fact they find it impossible to present their own views, they in effect become psychologically invisible and they have an inner critic who is always telling them they are doing wrong unless they always say yes and do what other people desire. The following are things a person can do if they realize they are a frustrated people pleaser and want to change: 1. Recognize you have this outlook on life and decide to change it. 2. Develop positive affirmations about what a good person you are and how you are going to stand up for yourself. 3. Do cognitive restructuring where you replace negative thoughts with positive ones when they come into your mind. 4. Seek out close friends and family who recognize you have this problem and have them support you when you try to get your fair share in life and receive the predictable severe criticism that will come from people who have always taken you for granted . 5. Recognize that “no” is a legitimate word when you do not want to do something.. 6. Recognize your responsibilities are real and need to be taken into account in all decisions that you make. 7. Turn off the inner critic that is constantly saying negative things about you and have periods of time where you will begin to not allow negative statements in. You will see yourself as a goalie in hockey or a batter in baseball protecting the net or the home plate. 8. Seek out a trained therapist as you feel necessary who has experience in working with people pleasers and will try to be a support and give you insight into how you can change your outlook and behaviors…An important thing to be aware of is that being a caring and helpful person is a wonderful thing. It can allow you to have equal friendships and overall interactions with other persons. The goal is not to turn you into a selfish person who does not help others, but more to take into account your own needs and interactions with others where you will say how you feel, disagree and say no when you have no desire to do something or if it interferes with responsibilities that you must meet in your own life.