Question
I have a temper problem.I usually can control myself, but bayan escort mersin sometimes I just plain lose it. It only seems to happen with people I love or am close to. I grew up in a home where I was yelled at and criticized all the time. I would get so angry and eventually feel so ashamed. I felt like a bad person and loser. Now I often distort what people I care for say, particularly my wife and children. I interpret what they say in a negative and demeaning way. How can I stop doing this? They walk on eggshells and are long past being tired of me and my unpredictable attitude and anger. I need to change. I’m really a good person. How can I change?
Answer
Dr. Braccio: You appear to often interpret what is said to you as if someone from your “difficult youth” were talking to you. In effect, you distort what is said and give negative meaning to what could even be a very positive statement. The result of the follow up blow ups is that people fear to talk to you, do not share their feelings, and the end result is poor communication and the sometimes hostile environment you do not desire. Your self-esteem, as well as those you attack, suffers horribly.
You need to closely monitor your reactions to what your family says. The following are some things you can do to work on “your anger problem” from a family resolution perspective:
1. When beginning to feel angry, pause and put your mind on something else. Remember that this anger is your choice. If it’s a bad choice, then select a more loving/caring choice to respond instead of reacting in anger.
2. Meet with your wife and children and say you love them unconditionally, feel bad you hurt them but often distort what they say in a way that you become angry. Also say you are going to change and want their support. They know this, but it is good to admit you are wrong and apologize. The first step in change is to acknowledge the problem, that you have done wrong, and will change.
3. Explain how you were always criticized and felt demeaned and then ashamed as a child and these feelings sometimes come back. Say how painful it is to relive these feelings. Emphasize you get angry over the past and not the present. This explanation does not excuse you or minimize the hurt your angry behaviors cause to them. The advantage is that there is understanding and a basis you all can work from.
4. Commit yourself to change and work at it very hard. Confronting your vulnerabilities and fears of rejection and disapproval will begin to defuse your anger bombs.
5. Meet periodically with your family for positive feelings and encouragement and discuss
how things are progressing. Open discussion can result in greater understanding by all of
you.
6. When monitoring your outlook on statements that begin to cause you anger, ask: How
am I perceiving that I am being shamed or demeaned? What possible negative motive could my wife or children have? Am I overreacting to the hurt I feel? Am I not accepting fair criticism or an honest disagreement? How am I taking care of myself in this situation? How am I loving and respecting others?
7. Spend three twenty minute periods per day visualizing what you want your behavior to become. Practice and role play in your mind how you would prefer to respond to situations with love and caring as opposed to reacting to them with anger and hostility. Practice these dialogues and role play with others until you have a new behavior pattern that works. Become the change you want!
8. Learn to “step out” of yourself when you begin to feel upset and observe what is happening and why you are choosing your reactions. When you make these observations in a non-blaming way towards yourself and others, then you have the opportunity to make better choices for improved behaviors.
It will be very hard work for you to make the changes you desire. The old tapes from dysfunctional periods of your life are very hard to overcome. Some people never do and make themselves and everyone close to them miserable. Do not let this control issue happen to you and your family. Awareness of this is the beginning of positive change. Remember, the past is gone and today brings new opportunities for loving choices.
If you find you are not able to control your inappropriate anger, you can seek out a therapist who is an expert in anger management. This may be the best approach.

Question
I found out my 13 year old son stole a video game from an acquaintance when I overheard him bragging to a friend about it.When I first silifke escort ilanları talked to him about it later, he tried to deny he took it. Then he admitted it when I told him how I found out and would call the boy to check it out myself. I’ve punished him for lying to me. I also told my son to return it and apologize for taking it. He chose to put it in the mailbox and say nothing. In defending himself, he said if he told the boy what happened it would hurt his reputation and word would get around that he was a thief. As I told him, this is not the first time he has done something like this. I also told him the last time I would not again cover for him. My parents have sided with him. He and they think I’m being unreasonable. What do you think? Should he talk to the boy and apologize as I told him to do?
Answer
Dr. Braccio: Your son needs to tell the person the truth. He took the video game, bragged to a friend about what he did, first lied to you, only admitted he took it when he had to, and then returned it only because he got caught. After all of that, he chose to defy you and not admit to the person he took it and apologize. This is not a positive sequence of attitudes and behaviors.
In addition to everything else, he does not show any remorse for his stealing and lying. That is as bad as the lying and stealing. He needs to make some fundamental changes in himself.
He need not tell the person you made him apologize. The important thing he must learn is that there are unpleasant consequences for stealing, lying, being defiant and not having remorse. Admitting his wrongdoing and apologizing will be very hard for your son; however, it is how change and potential personal growth can occur in him. He needs a positive dose of humility.
That you “covered for him” in the past was bad parenting. You must stop doing it now. To your credit, you are trying to do that now. You are teaching him that even though you gave in before, you will longer do that. You can tell him you were wrong and that it will not happen again.
Once you decided what he was to do and told him to do it, then he had to do it. Any negotiation on how to solve the problem was to be done prior to his defying you and trying to negotiate afterwards. This is totally unacceptable. It probably got to this point because you went along with his bad behavior in the past. Do not worry about what you have not done in the past. Take control of this current situation. I think in this case, to have him personally apologize for what he did is essential not just because it will help him, but because you told him to do it as part of your parenting. This will help you positively assert your role as parent.
The involvement of your parents is inappropriate and must end. You need to talk to them and do some “parenting” with them. They are not helping anyone in the family with their misguided support of your son’s totally inappropriate behavior.
You might consider an experienced therapist and/or pastor to help him better understand appropriate behavior. A therapist also might be helpful to you with his resistance to change and the unfortunate support of your parents.

This is my response mersin eskort to a Question that someone asked me for my opinion. In life, it is wonderful to help others but we must not overlook our own needs.
Question
With support from my husband, sister and God, the doctors tell me they believe I have beaten colon cancer. My concern is that my mother and one sister seemed so distant with me during the past year. This also happened with a few friends. The hurt came because I have always been there for all of them whenever there was a problem or a concern. Even though my mother and sister are both immature selfish and I feel like the parent, I expected more from them. But when I was in crisis, they were not only not there, but seemed to resent me for my severe health problem and my inability to console them on their issues. Only one friend was honest enough to say she was used to me being a support to her and she had no emotional energy for me. A few unexpected persons out of the blue stepped up and helped me emotionally. What’s wrong here and should I be upset?
Answer
The problem is that you gave too much emotionally to those who will not now reciprocate because they cannot or have no desire to do so. You have every right to be upset. When one gives so much as you have emotionally, it is only reasonable to assume others will give back when you are in need. This would particularly be true with your mother and sister. Apparently, their immaturity and selfishness are such that they chose to not be supportive to you during your crisis. Some of your friends fit into this same category.
As painful and hurtful as this is to you emotionally, it is not that uncommon. Too often, the world is divided into “givers and takers”. You are a giver who has been surrounded by too many takers. That this includes your own mother and sister must be particularly painful. It also is true that a friendship is a like a wonderful and nourishing mirror where each person reflects understanding to the other. Some of your relationships have not been true friendships.
It is fortunate you have spiritual beliefs. They are so reinforcing and splendid in times of crisis.
A key concept for you in relationships is that you need to remember the wise statement that says you need to “love yourself” as well as “your neighbor”. You have too often left “yourself” out of your relationships. This is particularly true with people who will only take support but not give it back.
In the future, you need to determine who you want to be around. A key standard would be to seek out persons with your capacity to reach out and help others. Then when you give, you know you are appreciated and the person will be there for you when needed. You can begin this with the friends and family who stood by you during your ordeal as well as the persons who “stepped up and helped”. They are like you and deserve your friendship. Your husband and sister are good persons like you.

Question
Dear Dr.Braccio:
No matter how anamur eskort bayan hard I try, my weight will not stay off. With all the problems I have with anger and guilt about my divorce, being a single mother raising three children on my own and a single breadwinner, why can’t I lose the weight?
Answer
An amazing 90% of persons cannot keep weight off that they lose. The reason for the failure in so many, as appears in your case, is a lack of self-esteem. You feel bad about the life you are living. To be truthful, it is very difficult. Even though you are helping your children out of love, the combination of guilt, anger, feelings of loneliness and a general unfairness, your self esteem has been battered.
Weight loss programs such as ours and countless others will all work if you can love yourself to the point you can control your calorie intake, attitude and exercise. You can change your self esteem with therapy and/or searching within yourself to find the positive and why you deserve to weigh what you desire.
It is reasonable that you use food as comfort. We probably all learned food was loving and supportive during breastfeeding or on the bottle. We even use the words “treats”, “help yourself”, “healing” and “healthy” to describe how we see eating. The goal in weight loss is to eat a balanced diet with healthy portions, exercise and positive view of oneself.
If you want to know more about self esteem enhancement with counseling and/or our weight loss program, please visit my website at www.drjohnb.com or give me a call.

This Question/Answer reflects a common problem parents have every day.To use a behavior chart can anamur bayan escort be very helpful.
Question
Dr. Braccio:
I am exhausted and frustrated. I only have one child and she is overwhelming to me. She will not mind me and must be told ten times to do anything I want. I get louder and louder. The routine is wearing me out. What can I do?
Answer
You need to get a behavior chart for each of you. You can chart how often you must tell her to do something. Set up a system where the sooner she does it she can get a star or something that when combined, you can get her something she wants. For example, she can go to bed later by fifteen minutes. You can bring her into the process and have her involved in what the positive results will be if she does what you ask without the whole frustrating process. Some negative consequences can also occur is she refuses to change. An important strategy to use is to applaud her when she is doing what you want. This is a powerful tool to get her to do what you want. People love applause and encouragement.
For you, you can use a chart to eliminate your “nagging” or constant asking her to do what you want. Ultimately, consistently asking her to do something turns her off and she does not even hear you. By monitoring yourself and her, you can bring about the change you desire to best help both of you. This will not be easy and will require hard work; however, the positive results are worth the efforts.
If you have any questions or you feel we can be of service to you, please feel free to make contact directly.

Question
Dr.Braccio:
I am exhausted and konya merkez genç kızlar frustrated. I only have one child and she is overwhelming to me. She will not mind me and must be told ten times to do anything I want. I get louder and louder. The routine is wearing me out. What can I do?
Answer
You need to get a behavior chart for each of you. You can chart how often you must tell her to do something. Set up a system where the sooner she does it she can get a star or something that when combined, you can get her something she wants. For example, she can go to bed later by fifteen minutes. You can bring her into the process and have her involved in what the positive results will be if she does what you ask without the whole frustrating process. Some negative consequences can also occur is she refuses to change. An important strategy to use is to applaud her when she is doing what you want. This is a powerful tool to get her to do what you want. People love applause and encouragement.
For you, you can use a chart to eliminate your “nagging” or constant asking her to do what you want. Ultimately, consistently asking her to do something turns her off and she does not even hear you. By monitoring yourself and her, you can bring about the change you desire to best help both of you. This will not be easy and will require hard work; however, the positive results are worth the efforts.
If you have any questions or you feel we can be of service to you, please feel free to make contact.

It is a sad phenomenon that 65% of karatay genç kızlar Americans suffer from Obesity. Think about that….65%! This is hard to believe when the news is filled with heart wrenching pictures and stores about starving children and adults around the world.
The following statistics give you a clear idea of the severe danger to each of us if we are obese:
–Increases your risk of Arthritis by 200%
–Increases your risk of High Cholesterol by 200%
–Increases your risk of Heart Disease by 200%
–Increases your risk of diabetes and Type-2 Diabetes by 300%
My suggestion is that you use 2008 to funnel your energy into a weight loss period. This requires a change in lifestyle. You must eat nutritiously and judiciously as well as having a daily exercise regimen. My hypnosis CD could be helpful to assist to you and your program. However, the key to any success in any endeavor, whether it be weight loss or knitting, is commitment and follow through. Why not visualize you as a water fountain of health rather than a ticking time bomb?
If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to contact me.

Welcome to 2008! We made it through the hectic holiday period and 2007 is a year mersin anamur eskort bayanları of the past. I hope you and those you love and care for have a wonderful, healthy and love filled New Year!
As far as resolutions go, you will not fail if you chose reasonable goals that are helpful to you and in small increments that will allow you success you can achieve relatively quickly. For example, if you want to lose thirty pounds, break it down into increments of three pounds and give yourself kudos and rewards after each loss of three pounds. The wait for thirty pounds will predictably be too long and you will give up in what otherwise could be a successful weight loss program.
If you have any questions or suggestions or you feel we can be of help with our weight loss program, please feel free to make contact with me directly.

The holidays can be a very difficult period for persons grieving the loss of loved ones, struggling financially, feeling a loss of happier times, separated from loved ones and in poor health.This is supposed to be the happiest of anamur eskort bayan times as we hear the glories of Christmas and the holiday season. We must remember as joyful as it may be for you, many persons are suffering. The joys you may not have only magnify the unhappiness one may feel. If you know someone suffering this holiday time, do the following as possible:
1. Be patient.
2. Listen and be empathetic.
3. Share a hug, smile or even a cry if appropriate.
4. Share spiritual values and beliefs to give strength.
5. Share a happy story.
6. If a Christian, delight in the birth Jesus Christ and which he means to all Christians.
This topic is discussed in a download on my website from a segment I did with Jack Ebling on “Ebling and You”.
The best is wished to each and every one of you as we enjoy Christmas, one of the world’s greatest religious holidays!

Hello Everyone!
One of the most mersin anamur eskort bayanları common problems encountered in a home is getting children up and ready to go on school days. The following question to me and my answer can be helpful to you. It is one of many Quick Tips I plan to give you in future newsletters.
Quick Tips To Help You Parent – Getting Your Child Up In The Morning
Question
I am constantly worn out from yelling at my son to get up in the morning. He waits to the last minute to be ready and them blames me for his being late. What can I do to change this nightmare I live every single school day?
Answer
The key is to change the routine in your house and quit yelling and pleading with your son. You want the focus and responsibility off you and on him. This will be very hard for you to do because this is an ingrained pattern of interaction you and your son have developed. You each are splendid actors who have learned your roles perfectly! You must have faith that you can be effective without the useless frustration and even anger.
The following is the beginning of a more peaceful morning for you and your son:
I would suggest that you let your son know times are changing. Let him know you have bought an alarm clock that will go off five minutes after you call him. This then puts some responsibility on him to turn off the alarm and get up. You then can say you are going to get ready and make breakfast. This lets him know you will be busy while he gets up and gets ready. You also can say his breakfast will be ready and he can eat before he needs to go to school. This lets him know there is a benefit for him getting up. He can eat breakfast and be ready to leave on time.
This is not a perfect suggestion but then nothing on this earth is. With that said, this suggestion or a similar one can be helpful and has been various times I have suggested it.
You will need to be patient when implementing this strategy or any other I will be giving you in the future. The key is to take yourself out of the fighting and put a routine in place.
If you have any questions or you feel we can be of help, please feel free to make contact with me directly.
John H. Braccio, Ph.D.

Hello Everyone!
Over the years, I anamur eskort bayan have treated many persons for Seasonal Affective Disorder. This is a common disorder in a State like Michigan when there are cold and overcast days in the Winter. I believe the following Question/Answer may be helpful to you or someone you love.
Question
I dread winter more every year. I get so down and lose so much energy. Poor concentration, feeling guilty, binge eating, sleeping every chance I get, always tired, lack of motivation, moodiness and being irritable is what I become. I’m there! I’m not like this during the rest of the year. At least bears get to hibernate and don’t torture themselves and others. I love to see people but now have no interest in seeing anyone. My family tries to be helpful but I can see they stay away from me when they can. What’s wrong with me and what can I do to change?
Answer
It appears you have what is commonly called “Seasonal Affective Disorder” or SAD. It is a seasonal depression that occurs generally between November and April in colder climates when days are short, clouds often are in the sky and the temperature is cold. In the Northern climates percentages of people are seen to range from approximately 3% to as high as 14%. This higher number probably also includes persons who get the Sub-Syndromal/Winter Blues and generally do not like winter but do not have the severe symptoms of major depression.
You have many of the classic symptoms of SAD: Lack of energy, sleeping all the time and still always being tired and run down, poor motivation, guilt for how you feel, eating too much, difficulty concentrating, irritable, little interest in social or daily activities. In a way, you are hibernating from your normal personality and life patterns. The lights have literally gone out for you emotionally.
As you are painfully aware, there is no doubt that SAD is a terrible depression that greatly impacts one’s life when one is experiencing it. Only recently has the general public come to understand it.
The following are some steps to take to help overcome your Seasonal Affective Disorder:
1. Exercise and keep your body healthy. This will also help keep your mind
sharp.
2. Maintain a healthy and nutritious diet. You need to fight off food cravings.
3. Consider the use of Light Therapy to replace the lack of sunlight. Increments of 15
minutes to a few hours are typical at different times of the day. Mimicking dawn
can be done with a timed light that acts as if the sun is coming up in your bedroom.
4. Counseling to help you be more productive and focus on the beauty of winter as
well as helping you be out and about when your tendency, due to depression, is to
sulk away in a dark corner of your home. It can help you develop your own overall
multi-faceted program to end SAD once and for all.
5. Dress warmly and walk outside in the cold when the sun is out to both get exercise
and grab as much sun as you can get. This is an action too often overlooked by
persons with SAD.
6. Consider medication. Medications like Zoloft, Prozac and Welbutrin are often
effective when prescribed for SAD. Talk to your family physician or psychiatrist
as to what could be the most appropriate antidepressant to use.
7. A complete physical also might help to eliminate any other problems that are
causing your symptoms.
It is not unusual for persons with SAD to use one or more of the above suggestions at the same time. For example, counseling and medication would be a common combination.

Hello Everyone!

The following question comes from a spouse whose husband is underemployed and the result is a family in turmoil.The suggestions I give could be helpful kocasinan olgun bayanlar to you. In the difficult economy of Michigan, this is a common problem we see with families seeking counseling. At a positive level, be aware these are some things you can do to make things better.

Question

Our family is in turmoil since my husband lost his job and took a lesser one. What can one parent do when the other one is unhappy at work?

Answer

We sometimes underestimate the importance of having a job comparable to one’s abilities. In a time of major corporate downsizing and privatizing in government, it ought not be surprising that many people are clearly not in jobs comparable to their training and ability. While the comparisons may seem extreme, ask yourself how happy General George Patton would have been making guns or Julius Caesar spears? Many of those with spouses unhappily underemployed will readily tell you the suffering they are going through and how this negatively impacts on them and the family; and often on friendships and the overall quality of life of the family.
If someone’s spouse is suffering from one or more of the following:
Consider the following seven suggestions:
1. Listen, Listen and Listen Some More. People who are suffering and see no way out of their work related dilemma need to talk about it with a kind and sympathetic spouse, family members and friends. There is no substitute for caring empathy by the spouse and others who care for the person in work related turmoil.
2. Give Praise For Doing the Job and Recognition of How Difficult it is to go to a Job You are Overqualified For. Getting up daily and going to work is a major task for many under the best of circumstances and it can be torture if one hates the job and sees it far below his/her capabilities. Giving encouragement to keep trying to do his/her best along with praise for doing it for the sake of family and other valid reasons can be critical to the person continuing to function as effectively as possible.
3. Constant encouragement to keep resume updated and look for a more fulfilling job. It can be good mental health to simply put a resume together. Even if a job does not develop, having the resume ready for a possible job prospect can be positive and have the person who is unhappily under-employed feel he/she is doing something about the problem.
4. Seek Out Avocations. When one’s work is unfulfilling, putting one’s energies into avocations can be useful; and often, pleasurable avocations turn into successful vocations.
5. For those who believe in God, help your spouse find a spiritual understanding and healing to make his/her life more livable. While faith is a very individual experience, having it can be remarkably helpful in times of great crisis and emotional turmoil.
6. Find activities to enhance family unity and let genuine human love within the family heal some of your spouse’s pain. Of all earthly sources, the family is clearly the most obvious unit to help a member in emotional turmoil. To utilize the family in mutually enjoyable activities and to help a member is only reasonable.
7. Utilizing professional counseling may be useful in some situations. When the spouse cannot cope with the condition of the spouse suffering or needs are greater than one can give, then seeking out well experienced professional help is what is needed.
As a final comment, we all know how humanly painful it is to see an exceptional human being devastated by feelings that are not healthy for the person, spouse or other family members due to under-employment. To change the course of such sad feelings in someone we love makes attempting the suggestions made here worth the effort. In order to make a difference in the lives of those we love, we must believe we can do it and try to bring it about with energetic gusto! Go for it!

Questions?

If you have any comments or questions on our audio visual programs or regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

In interviewing parents of children with AD/HD, the following activities were said to help them during the Holidays and beyond.If you think about each one carefully, you will see anamur eskort bayan they can help you. I used these points in one of my seminars.
1. Closely co-parent during the good and bad periods and be as consistent as possible.
2. Planned alternative times that one parent primarily parents and the other takes time
off.
3. Take a day at a time.
4. Deal with one problem at a time.
5. As possible, parent time outs when on emotional overload.
6. Write a diary of your feelings.
7. Letters to God letting all your feelings out.
8. All family members must know AD/HD is a family issue and all are involved in
maintaining family sanity.
9. Be ready to problem-solve/brainstorm whenever the moment is ripe.
10. A good cry to let the hurt and anger out.
11. Maintain the same medication dosages and times.
12. A good sleep.
13. A massage/physical exercise/reading/a trip to the hot tub/treat yourself to something
nice/deep relaxation strategies/hypnosis/watching a move/listening to or playing
music, etc.
14. Talking to a close friend(s) and/or family member(s) as possible.
15. Talking to parents with AD/HD children.
16. Parent getaways during the holidays as during the rest of the year.
17. Stay away from toxic people in your life.
18. Stay away from places that have too much activity and cause sensory overload.
19. Accept “clutterness.”
20. Keep them busy with activities that can be done quickly. (As one parent said, “I feel
like a Las Vegas card dealer”.)
21. Try to give advance cues as best you can during transitions from one activity to
another.
22. Let others know about your child in an honest and straightforward way.
23. Maintain saneness and predictability as best one can during such an eventful period
as the holidays.
24. Avoid the “big struggle” when family members go to war against each other.
25. Balance attention in the family to try to meet each member’s needs.
26. Accept what you must and change what you can with yourself and your child.
27. Love and respect yourself as you do your child and other loved ones.
28. Never give up hope.
29. Seek professional help when you feel it is necessary.

Questions?

If you have any comments or questions on our audio visual programs or regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

This is the first of some newsletters I will write during the 2007 holiday period.I hope this will be a time of great joy and spiritual awakening for you and those you kocasinan eskort love and care for. I say this aware of the pressures this period causes for many and my goal is to be helpful.
As we move closer and closer to the holiday season, now is the time to prepare in a way to reduce as much pressure as possible. For too many people, the holiday period has become a financial and emotional nightmare that people dread and wish would never happen again.
I propose that you try to get into the holiday spirit by controlling what you do as best you can and enjoy it. I love the holiday season! In Michigan we often have beautiful winter days with cold star filled skies reflecting against a snow laden landscape. It is a time to reflect on the past and try to fill our minds with thoughts of why we are celebrating. Thanksgiving is a time to thank God for the positive things we have as well as to appreciate the beauty of the earth and look for the positive in our lives. It also is a time to be with family and friends. If we are far from family and friends, we can share with pictures, emails, letters and phone conversations.
The holiday period also includes the national holiday of Christmas. This is a day that Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, who came to earth to die for our sins so we could be in heaven for eternity. Jews celebrate Hanukkah and other religions celebrate their beliefs during the holiday period. The key is to try to deal with our spiritual side and maybe come closer to whatever purpose we feel we have on earth.
The holiday time is also a time where people share gifts. The key is not to go into debt, but to give gifts in the spirit of love and caring from a Christian or other religious/moral perspective and not to compete with others and mindlessly give gifts.

Questions?

If you have any comments or questions on our audio visual programs or regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

Anger is something we all experience.The key mersin anamur eskort bayanları is dealing with it effectively. The following “Tips To Control Anger” will be discussed in an upcoming Brownbag Audio Freedom Kit being prepared at present. It is a comparison to my program on Anger entitled, I”m Free From Destructive Anger”. Shortly, there also will be an audio discussion on the “Ebling and You” Radio Program for you to hear on anger.

Questions?

1. Humor.
2. Count to 10…count to 20.
3. Breath Deeply.
4. Visualizations.
5. Avoid letting the anger out in a negative way.
6. Mantra.
7. See the other side.
8. Think of the destructive impact on you physically and emotionally.
9. Think of the negative impact on others.
10. How important will this problem be in the future? In a year? In ten years? In 100 Years?
11. Use the “I” versus “You’” statement about how you feel in discussion with Active Listening
to better understand the feelings of the other person.
12. Don’t hold a grudge.
If you have any comments or questions on our audio visual programs or regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

Effectively dealing with a child’s disrespect is a crucial part of effective parenting.Much of the therapy done in our offices is with well meaning parents who cannot control the inappropriate karatay genç kızlar behavior of their children. They falsely feel that parental discipline shows a lack of love. Hopefully, my response to a parent’s question will be helpful to you. Call me if you have some specific concerns of your own,

Question

I’m having major disrespect problems from my ten year old daughter. She tells me to shut up and will not do what I want unless she wants to. But then she will be wonderful when I get mad and threaten her with punishment. But I hate getting mad at her. Her therapist is concerned because I’m not consistent in taking her for appointments. But some days when she’s supposed to go to therapy, things come up that will be good for her and I cancel. Now I’m getting calls from school about her making inappropriate comments to teachers and students. My ex-husband says he does not want to, but is threatening to seek primary physical custody if I don’t gain her respect and take control. I think he’s unfair. I’m lost, but don’t want to hurt her self-image by always being mad at her. What should I do?

Answer

You need to immediately respect yourself and see her treatment of you as something you have allowed due to low self-esteem. Say to yourself, “II will no longer tolerate these behaviors for her sake and my sake.”
You need to change your outlook and discipline strategies to take on an effective parenting role. To begin with, have no tolerance for your daughter telling you to “shut up” and not do what you want when it is a reasonable request. These are learned behaviors and good parenting requires you to set reasonable standards for her behavior with clearly known and logical consequence punishments when she does not do what is expected. For example, let her know for each “shut up” she says to you she will not watch television, play games, do what she likes, etc. for 24 hours. You cannot waver on whatever reasonable consequence you determine.
Meet with her and clearly discuss what will be unacceptable and what the consequences will be for inappropriate behaviors. To get her involved will enhance the process due to her investment in it.
That she is “wonderful” when you get mad and threaten her with punishment has a positive side because it shows she can behave if she wants to. The problem is that she and not the parent is in charge of her behavior.
She needs limits to become an effective person. Limits on her inappropriate behavior is a form of love. It helps allow her to develop a sense of right and wrong and be a good human being.
If you and her therapist have an agreed upon treatment plan for her, you need to make sure she goes to her sessions for her sake and also to show you will carry though with what needs to be done to make her a more effective human being. The therapist cannot help her if you do not consistently take her to planned sessions. The message is that the sessions are not important and this will diminish their effectiveness. You also need to work with the therapist so you both are going in the same direction to help her.
That her “inappropriate statements” have transferred to school is a bad sign that they will only get worse until your daughter learns to behave. Changes must begin immediately at home.
The best way to not have to deal with changes in custody is to positively take control of your daughter as an effective and loving mother. If you do not do this and problems continue, then if your ex-husband can demonstrate he can be a more effective parent, you do run the risk of custody change. To eliminate making unnecessary custody changes, make every effort to be an effective parent. You, your daughter, and her father deserve it. As hard as it may be to even think about, if you cannot control her at home and she continues to behave poorly at school, then a change in custody may be what is best for your daughter.
You may find ongoing therapy may also help you to develop better self-esteem and be more effective and less defensive as a parent.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

Even the best intentioned parents, when they use ineffective parenting techniques, raise disrespectful children.I get an kocasinan escort bayan amazing number of calls from parents who have lost control of their children. The key is for parents to not forget “parenting” is a full time job and requires being able to say “no” and model appropriate parenting behaviors. Too many loving parents must learn true love for our children is to teach them to be good human beings who effectively live and contribute in our society. I believe the following response to a question to me may be helpful

Question

I’m having major disrespect problems from my ten year old daughter. She tells me to shut up and will not do what I want unless she wants to. But then she will be wonderful when I get mad and threaten her with punishment. But I hate getting mad at her. Her therapist is concerned because I’m not consistent in taking her for appointments. But some days when she’s supposed to go to therapy, things come up that will be good for her and I cancel. Now I’m getting calls from school about her making inappropriate comments to teachers and students. My ex-husband says he does not want to, but is threatening to seek primary physical custody if I don’t gain her respect and take control. I think he’s unfair. I’m lost, but don’t want to hurt her self-image by always being mad at her. What should I do?

Answer

You need to immediately respect yourself and see her treatment of you as something you have allowed due to low self-esteem. Say to yourself, “I will no longer tolerate these behaviors for her sake and my sake.”
You need to change your outlook and discipline strategies to take on an effective parenting role. To begin with, have no tolerance for your daughter telling you to “shut up” and not do what you want when it is a reasonable request. These are learned behaviors and good parenting requires you to set reasonable standards for her behavior with clearly known and logical consequence punishments when she does not do what is expected. For example, let her know for each “shut up” she says to you she will not watch television, play games, do what she likes, etc. for 24 hours. You cannot waver on whatever reasonable consequence you determine.
Meet with her and clearly discuss what will be unacceptable and what the consequences will be for inappropriate behaviors. To get her involved will enhance the process due to her investment in it.
That she is “wonderful” when you get mad and threaten her with punishment has a positive side because it shows she can behave if she wants to. The problem is that she and not the parent is in charge of her behavior.
She needs limits to become an effective person. Limits on her inappropriate behavior is a form of love. It helps allow her to develop a sense of right and wrong and be a good human being.
If you and her therapist have an agreed upon treatment plan for her, you need to make sure she goes to her sessions for her sake and also to show you will carry though with what needs to be done to make her a more effective human being. The therapist cannot help her if you do not consistently take her to planned sessions. The message is that the sessions are not important and this will diminish their effectiveness. You also need to work with the therapist so you both are going in the same direction to help her.
That her “inappropriate statements” have transferred to school is a bad sign that they will only get worse until your daughter learns to behave. Changes must begin immediately at home.
The best way to not have to deal with changes in custody is to positively take control of your daughter as an effective and loving mother. If you do not do this and problems continue, then if your ex-husband can demonstrate he can be a more effective parent, you do run the risk of custody change. To eliminate making unnecessary custody changes, make every effort to be an effective parent. You, your daughter, and her father deserve it. As hard as it may be to even think about, if you cannot control her at home and she continues to behave poorly at school, then a change in custody may be what is best for your daughter.
You may find ongoing therapy may also help you to develop better self-esteem and be more effective and less defensive as a parent.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

This question with my response is not that unusual.I always tell parents that silifke eskort numaraları their love and involvement as parents are far more critical than giving children money and things.

Question

I’m having a hard time as a single parent with 8 and 12 year old children. I just feel so small when comparing myself to parents of friends of my children. As a single parent, I don’t make much money compared to most of them and feel so much pressure to give my children all the clothes and things other kids have. I even have part time job I do at home. I know they love me and we are very close. I love them so much and go to all their events. But I feel small. What can I do? If it weren’t for the financial support of my father, things would even be worse.

Answer

You need to be your own best friend and praise yourself for being a loving mother who goes to all the events of her children. Even with millions of dollars and great power, you could not always “keep up with the Joneses”. If you try, there will always be someone with more money, a bigger and more unique house, a prettier face, a better figure, children with better grades who are better athletes and have more sought-after friends. This is the result of much fruitless competition. The loving relationship you and your two children have is unique and no one else can have one just like it. And there can never be too much love between children and parents. Without picking on any of the people you are comparing yourself with, suffice it to say that all the energy that goes into competing with others often ends up causing feelings of depression and low self-esteem. The irony is that you cannot see the insecurity and doubt that those who “compete with others” experience everyday. They must always appear “perfect” and also look over their shoulders to see who is gaining on them, and eventually, they must be unhappy because they cannot compete “with the Joneses” in one or more of the areas they are competing. These ongoing self-imposed pressures detract from developing the type of familial love you want to grow among you and your children.
Too often in our society, we have replaced our greatest wealth, love for each other, with material goods and pricey privileges. They lack the human qualities we need to nurture and grow. In effect, they are only money-related. I am not negating the importance of nice things and the benefits that come from good income. My point is that the most important thing in life, such as family love and the resulting mutual respect, are truly free and we can have as much as we can give and receive. Things on the earth perish but love goes from one generation to the next. Be proud of the relationship you have with your children and build on it. Do not deceive yourself and sell yourself short. Seek in yourself and family the love and respect we all need as humans. That you are doing this is wonderful and it must continue to be your priority. When you think of yourself, replace the word “small” with “loving”. You will feel so much better.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

The following facts on Eating Disorders may be of interest.Most people are not aware how dangerous and common konya merkez escort they are.
1. 2-3% of young woman have Bulimia.
2. 1% of young women have Anorexia Nervosa.
3. 5-15% of Bulimia and Anorexia Nervosa are men. Most are women.
4. 3-4% of the general population are binge eaters.
5. 1000 or more young women die in the U.S. each year due to Anorexia Nervosa.
6. 20% of person die of a serious Eating Disorder if not treated.
7. 2-3% die when treated.
If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

This situation is very typical with divorced parents when children put one parent against the other to get what they want.Fortunately, the parents in this kocasinan bayan numaraları situation decided to work together. Divorced parents must not let their anger at each other lead to bad parenting. My DVD and CD set entitled: “Divorce: Coping and Overcoming It” could be helpful if the effects of your divorce are negatively impacting on your parenting or other painful aspects of divorce.

Question

My ex-husband and I usually cannot agree on anything. But now, we’ve finally agreed our ten year old daughter is lying to each of us to get what she wants. Fortunately, I happened to be with my wonderful ex-mother-in-law when I told my daughter I would not buy her a bike until she treated me with more respect and cleaned up her room. She told her father I said I hated her and would never buy her a bike. Of course, he went right out and bought her the bike. My mother-in-law found out what happened and told him the truth. He actually called me and said we have to get along better or this type of thing will keep happening. He hasn’t wanted to talk about this very type of situation in the past. I can try, but I don’t trust him. What do you think?

Answer

There are few bigger problems resulting from a divorce than a child playing one parent against the other. It not only causes great emotional distress to both parents but further destroys what is often an emotionally raw and explosive relationship. If this type of situation continues, the worst casualty will be your daughter. She will not only learn to manipulate each of you to her own advantage, but will not care about the hurt and anger she causes. It will be the classic example of the end justifying the means. If these manipulative behaviors carry over to relationships outside the home, the eventual emotional damage to your daughter and everyone who has personal interactions with her can predictably be great. Even though difficult because of previous interactions between the two of you, you two must effectively interact at least in relation to her. Try to have your mutual love for her be the key factor to unite you. Do not let your distrust for each other destroy the emotional health of all three of you. Since both of you seem to trust your ex-mother-in-law, maybe she can help you communicate better. You both need to talk to your daughter jointly and let her know you will not accept her lying to either of you. Use the bike as a beginning. Take the bike away from her if this has not already happened and only let her have it when she tells the truth over a period of time and generally does what you desire. It is a reasonable standard for a child to be respectful in order to receive something special from parents.
Hopefully this situation will not only help your daughter but lead to civil communication between you and her father at least in relation to her.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.