Tag: dealing with difficult people

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss THE EMOTIONAL TURMOIL OF THE PEOPLE PLEASER

    April 15, 2025- People pleasers are generally liked because they are so ready to bend to the will of others and agree to do things that they really do not want to do but feel they must do in order to be well liked and accepted. People pleasers are often very friendly and open. They often have problems saying no and are afraid to present their own views because they might offend someone. As a result, they are always agreeing with others. The classic problem of the people pleaser is that they will say yes to things that they have no business doing because of other responsibilities they have and will not be able to complete. They say yes because they do not want to offend someone and they feel that they need to do this in order to be liked. Trying to accommodate people and do things to be helpful are commendable characteristics. The problem occurs when you almost become invisible psychologically because your goal of pleasing others totally eliminates your views. This means if somebody has very strong views on religion, politics, the best color for a house, the best car or anything they may believe strongly, the people pleaser will find themselves agreeing with whatever opinion the person has. The problem is the people pleaser may have completely different views, but feel they should not say them. People pleasers also too often take blame if someone else is unhappy or having a difficult time and somehow come to the conclusion it is their responsibility to make them happy. People pleasers often grew up in an environment where they were fearful of consequences or emotional abuse if they had opinions different than their parents, guardians or persons with responsibility over them. It came to the point they would always go along with what was asked of them. The obvious problem is that people pleasers continue to have this attitude long after they are children and into adulthood. Poor self-esteem is the result when you are fearful of presenting your own views and you hide your own feelings so you will people please another person. Typical characteristics of people pleasers include going along with whatever other people are saying around you, agreeing to things you may not agree with it all, not being able to say no, being willing to accept the blame and apologizing for things that you are not at all responsible for, seeing your value as a person dependent on how others see you and changing your personality and outlook based on the person you are talking to. You can imagine how this can cause a problem if you get two people you have agreed with that have totally different views and you are now the third person in a discussion. Negative outcomes for the people pleaser include not caring for themselves emotionally, they tend to have low self-esteem because their self-esteem depends on how others see them, they can have tremendous resentment from the fact they find it impossible to present their own views, they in effect become psychologically invisible and they have an inner critic who is always telling them they are doing wrong unless they always say yes and do what other people desire. The following are things a person can do if they realize they are a frustrated people pleaser and want to change: 1. Recognize you have this outlook on life and decide to change it. 2. Develop positive affirmations about what a good person you are and how you are going to stand up for yourself. 3. Do cognitive restructuring where you replace negative thoughts with positive ones when they come into your mind. 4. Seek out close friends and family who recognize you have this problem and have them support you when you try to get your fair share in life and receive the predictable severe criticism that will come from people who have always taken you for granted . 5. Recognize that “no” is a legitimate word when you do not want to do something.. 6. Recognize your responsibilities are real and need to be taken into account in all decisions that you make. 7. Turn off the inner critic that is constantly saying negative things about you and have periods of time where you will begin to not allow negative statements in. You will see yourself as a goalie in hockey or a batter in baseball protecting the net or the home plate. 8. Seek out a trained therapist as you feel necessary who has experience in working with people pleasers and will try to be a support and give you insight into how you can change your outlook and behaviors…An important thing to be aware of is that being a caring and helpful person is a wonderful thing. It can allow you to have equal friendships and overall interactions with other persons. The goal is not to turn you into a selfish person who does not help others, but more to take into account your own needs and interactions with others where you will say how you feel, disagree and say no when you have no desire to do something or if it interferes with responsibilities that you must meet in your own life.

    Dr Braccio Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss THE JOYS OF BEING AVERAGE- SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOUTUBE PAGE!

    April 8, 2025-We live in an age where being average is often seen as something negative and not to be sought. The goal of many people is to be the very best at what one does regardless of the psychological and physical impact on them by putting their total energy to this end. To become the CEO of the company, to become the top athlete in the chosen sport, to be the top student in the chosen field, to earn the most money of anyone they know, to have the biggest house, to have the most expensive car, to have the most attractive spouse/ partner, in a never-ending list of being the best and number one. Media of all types blare out the glory of being number one! Heartbreak and psychological devastation can be the result if one does not reach the pursued goal of being number one. My argument here is not for a person to not aim to be excellent and do the best they can do. No, there is nothing wrong with that if you can do it and maintain your mental and physical health along the way. Too many people in their striving for excellence, negatively impact their psychological development and even their physical development by blindly striving to be number one at something at all costs. They then can lose out on all the other activities that can be enjoyed in life if everything is lo pushed in the one direction of being excellent in one or even more areas. Again,the point here is not to have you strive for excellence, but to consider what can be done in life by being average and successful. Considering that most persons are average, there is nothing wrong with trying to find happiness and joy as an average person. The average person is the one who actually makes a country work. They work everywhere around us and make the world we live in function effectively. Everyone cannot be the CEO of the company or the greatest athlete on the team. Finding joy in being average can be the key to a happy life and is for millions of persons. The psychologically well balanced average person strives to be successful and goes about it by being a good student, a good citizen, a good partner, a good friend,a good worker and someone who can enjoy the bountiful opportunities in life by not becoming obsessed with learning everything about something, being the leader of the group or the number one person at something that often requires one to lose out on many other joyful things in life. The potential joys of being average would include having extensive time for hobbies and relationships, being free of unpleasant expectations, not being robbed of the joy and peace that can come from not trying to be number one, enjoying the road of life not perturbed by their own expectations or those of others for them, having a job that pays the bills and enjoying it, and not risking burnout and disillusionment by not being obsessed with being number one. A word to the wise is to learn being number one has high potential for job burnout, feelings of failure when not being number one and potentially not having solid relationships with friends, family, a significant other, and even children due to the obsessiveness of trying to be number one at sometimes everything and spending all their time to achieve that end. Take a look at your life and see if things would be better for you if you approach life from being a joyful and happy average person versus a constantly stressed out person striving and obsessed with being number one.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss AGORAPHOBIA WITH PANIC ATTACKS- Subscribe to our page!

    April 1, 2025- Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder that causes great discomfort with someone whenever they are in certain situations that cause them extreme anxiety. It generally ranges from such fears as being with persons, being in wide open spaces, driving in a car, standing in line, using public transportation, being in an elevator, being on a plane or many other situations where the person becomes very uncomfortable being around people or in certain anxiety producing situations. When you add panic attacks, which cause symptoms that a person can actually feel they are dying with a heart attack, it is evident that this is a very difficult situation to live with. A further complication is that some persons who have panic attacks often will go to the emergency room in the hospital because they actually believe they are dying. Typical symptoms of panic attacks include heart racing/palpitations, trembling, difficulty breathing, sweating, chest pain, shortness of breath and sometimes with the fear of dying. That is how severe the symptoms can be. Persons with agoraphobia also have many of the same symptoms of persons with social anxiety. Agoraphobia is a broader problem area because it can relate to almost any situation with or without persons. The unfortunate result of agoraphobia with panic attacks is that persons become afraid of being around other persons and can lose contact and become isolated. They also fear losing control in public or being around other persons. They may have feelings they are weird or strange and do not want to be around persons. When they do, the symptoms of panic attacks come back. They also will avoid many places where they have had difficult problems of the past such as a large or small store,a mall,an elevator, a certain seating in a car or an office or any possible situation that one can imagine. I personally have been amazed how many things can cause agoraphobia with panic attacks. This only leads to their world becoming more and more narrow. Comorbid conditions that exist with agoraphobia with panic attacks would include depression, social anxiety,OCD along with many physical symptoms that can come from having this intense emotional pressure from fears and panic attacks. In order for one to have the diagnosis, the characteristics need to have been in place for six months. Women tend to be diagnosed twice as often as men. Successful treatment usually includes some combination of medication,self help and mental health counseling that includes some aspects of cognitive behavioral therapy treatment and exposure therapy. The number of persons with agoraphobia with panic attacks are probably somewhere around 2,000,000 in the United States. While this number may not seem high, it does if you are one of the persons with this condition. You know how debilitating and difficult this can be from both a physical and emotional perspective.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY IS CHRONIC PROCRASTINATION SO HARD TO OVERCOME

    Chronic procrastination is the type of procrastination that a person constantly has and leads to
    them not completing activities they desire or are mandated by work or other life responsibilities.
    Chronic procrastination can be so devastating to the person that it can ruin and even end
    relationships and can make work advancement and even keeping a job impossible. It is actually
    amazing how many persons who have this condition do not overcome it. It is not unusual for
    therapists to work with persons in their 40s and 50s and even older who have not learned how
    to overcome chronic procrastination even if it has had major negative effects on all aspects of
    their lives. Even though procrastination is a problem that most persons have at times, the
    person with chronic procrastination has it all the time. Reasons for it would include
    anxiety,depression,perfectionism,low self esteem, fear of failure, lack of discipline, psychological relief from not having the burden of doing something, laziness,
    rebellion against others, or self-destructive behaviors that can lead to problems in all aspects of
    their lives. As I have previously stated before, chronic procrastination is also a major hallmark of
    ADHD. Following are ways to overcome chronic procrastination: 1. Accept you have a problem
    that needs to be resolved. 2. Believe you can overcome chronic procrastination. 3. Set up a plan
    to do it. 4. Set up daily goals of what you plan to complete and work at them on the priority of
    importance. 5. Keep track of your list of daily activities to complete and cross them off as you
    complete them. 6. Make sure you do not go off track by regularly looking at your list of daily
    activities and crossing them off as completed. 7. Enlist the support of a family member or friend
    to help keep you on track if you find you lose track of time and even have what could be called
    time blindness. 8. Break down complex required activities into smaller parts and work at each
    one individually rather than getting overwhelmed by a large task that for one reason or another
    you are not doing. 9. Begin with the hardest or easiest part of a long project depending on which
    one will help motivate you the most to complete the activity. 10. You may seek out a trained
    therapist in procrastination to help you if you find regardless of how hard you try, you are not
    able to overcome chronic procrastination. It is not a form of weakness to admit a problem is too
    much for you to overcome on your own. It is a sign of strength.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss MANAGING CHILDREN FAMILY INTERACTIONS AFTER DIVORCE

    November 19, 2024- While it is true that many persons are happy and relieved to be divorced when the love and caring have ended with their spouse or partner. With that said, often forgotten in the equation are the children and their future relationships not only with both parents but with important and loved family members. Divorced parents need to never forget they divorced each other but the children have not divorced anyone and want a loving relationship with all family members. Partners who put the needs of their children ahead of themselves work together to make sure the children are able to have good loving relationships with both sets of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and other extended members of the family. Partners that do not do this too often do it out of anger at the ex, and use it as a form of punishment for them. When this occurs, the feelings and any trauma and sadness the children are experiencing due to the divorce is not being considered, and that is very inappropriate. In a divorce, part of the process needs to be not just how to settle their legal affairs but also what will happen to the children. The following are things couples need to do to best help the children adapt to the divorce and allow all family members the opportunity to give love and receive love from the children: 1. Accept your marriage did not work and is going to end. 2. Make every effort to try to at least get along with each other for the sake of the children. This may initially be very difficult, at least during the initial period of the divorce because of raw nerves and possible feelings of abandonment, betrayal and poor treatment. 3. Even if you have these bad feelings, it is important to try to get over them to the level you realize your children belong to both of you and it is best that they have loving and caring relatives that are available and desire to have a good relationship with them. 4. What is mentally healthy interaction with the two families needs to be worked out with appropriate rules and boundaries that are set up and everyone agrees. 5.I firmly believe each parent in the divorce needs to do all they can do to make the children’s lives be as stable as possible. This is certainly helped by allowing them to have all the love, affection and caring they can have from grandparents and other members of the extended family. 6. If the two of you find your anger and hurt are so strong you cannot effectively interact with each other and reset interactions your children have with your ex- partners’ family members, this is a time to recognize this is inappropriate behavior. 7. Seek the support of a therapist experienced in divorce and the aftermath trauma and anger who can help find ways to allow healthy interactions with the family members of the ex-spouse could be very helpful to both you and your children…The ability of children of divorce to have good relationships with families of both spouses is clearly a major area of concern in divorces that too often is not discussed before and after divorce or relationship breakup. For emphasis, we need to make sure our children have the opportunity to interact with all family members with the goal of having them be able to love who they choose to love and be loved by important family people in their lives.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 discuss HOW TO BE LIKABLE- Subscribe to our YouTube page!

    November 12, 2024- I think most of us really desire to be a likable person. From a survival point of view, humans have always needed to be likable to get along with each other and build relationships in order to survive emotionally and sometimes physically. This is still true whether it be a social group, a family, the military, a business or whatever group there is that requires teamwork. Teams do not work well when the members do not see each other as likable. One could strongly argue that in order to have any short or long-term relationship, there needs to be a beginning where there is a feeling of likability between the persons. One need not be a psychologist to be aware of how far happier and successful one will be with interactions and relationships based on being likable. People who are not likable may get to accept it, but generally deep down do not like this but too often cannot seem to figure how to make themselves more likable. In fact, they can become less likable by being upset that others do not like them and let them know it . Because self-esteem is closely related to how others see us, being likable is very important to how we see ourselves and something we should try to develop. The following are traits that relate to being likable. I am not saying one needs all of these traits to be likable, but certainly one needs some of them: 1. A simple smile whenever you meet someone. 2. Listen and pay attention when interacting . 3. Authentic and not fake. 4. Admit when you make mistakes. 5. Tolerant and understanding of persons. 6. Respect for others and their views. 7. Not act as a “know it all.” 8. Remember the person by name. 9. Be honest. 10. A sense of humor. 11. Respectful 12. An accepting body language 13. Human touch as appropriate. 14. Turn off the phone. 15. Make eye contact. 16. Mirror body language.

    Dr Braccio Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss THE OVERTHINKING DILEMMA

    October 29, 2024- It is difficult enough making good decisions in life, even with the best of information available. The dilemma of overthinking is that one is constantly living with problems in decision-making whether they are past decisions or those we are going to make in present and then future decisions that will need to be made. A further problem is they tend to be negative. This can result in such mental health conditions as anxiety, depression, PTSD, OCD and panic attacks. This is not to say that everyone has all these conditions, but they are often present with persons who have problems making decisions or looking at what they have done or the possible consequences of decisions in the present or future. Add on top of this that persons who overthink often tend to be negatively evaluating the whole process of decision-making to the point that they end up with mental health issues. This trend to see decision-making in a negative light often leads to an inability to make decisions, which of course, then brings on the mental health issues.This endless loop on decision-making can be overwhelming for persons. Let us make sure that we are not confusing doing the groundwork necessary to make good decisions but rather overthinking decisions in a way that they are never made or will be simply reviewed negatively from the past. I might add as a longtime psychologist, this is a more common problem than one might think. It also is true that most of us if we honestly look at ourselves or analyze persons we know in family or outside of it, we can see overthinking is often present. The following are some remedies to deal with the problem of overthinking: 1. Accept decisions you have made in the past and let them go. One cannot could have, might have, ought to have or should have done anything differently than they did. 2. Realistically look at the options one has, make a decision and live with it. 3. Accept you may have made bad decisions and may continue to make them. The point is to try to make good decisions and learn from any bad decisions we have made. 4. Replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts when dealing with the inability to make decisions. When a thought comes into your mind that you cannot make a decision, you need to tell yourself yes you can make a good decision based on the best information available to you. This is obviously easier said than done, but needs to be worked on a little bit at a time. 5. If you find you cannot solve this problem of not being able to make a decision and it is causing you mental health distress, now is the time to seek out an experienced therapist who can help you overcome this problem.

    Dr. Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHEN IT IS RIGHT TO FEEL BAD ABOUT YOUR BEHAVIORS

    October 22, 2024-

    When it is right to feel bad about your behaviors

    For those of you who know me or have followed my podcasts and writings over the years, you will know I strongly am opposed to persons having inappropriate guilt in the sense that it totally destroys a person’s ability to live effectively in the present, and thus there is no future. On the other hand, I strongly believe that if a person has behaved poorly to someone or a group, then it is the right thing to have legitimate

    guilt, to accept responsibility, feel badly and make amends as best we can. If someone has done wrong, then feeling bad is appropriate. In this age of of what I call “feel gooditis”,people too often do not want to accept responsibility and would prefer to just overlook inappropriate behaviors,minimize them and let them go. It is important to deal with our feelings after we recognize that we behaved inappropriately and work this out in our mind that we are not going to do it again. it is often overlooked that when we do something inappropriate that we ought to feel bad about it and even more important than that, we must try to resolve the problem and let the person or group know we feel bad about what we did. it also is very important to not endlessly ruminate about these behaviors and cause ongoing negative guilt and even depression and poor self-esteem. The purpose is not to allow our inner critic to beat us up every day and ruin it. No,the goal is to honestly reflect on our inappropriate behaviors and try to understand why we did them and determine to not do them again. Obvious examples would be hurting someone’s feelings, lying , stealing, cheating others, slandering persons and their reputations, being dishonest and dishonorable in a relationship, putting people down with the goal of helping yourself or making yourself feel more powerful, and slowing down the progress of others for fear they will compete with us or we enjoy them in a subservient position. Something important not to overlook when we try to make things right is not to end up gaslighting the person and not being totally honest about how inappropriate our behaviors were when admitting that our intentions were not good. To be honest with yourself and the other person is critical to our making changes to self as we improve our character. It also is true that we may have hurt someone inappropriately but had no intention of doing it. Then it is worthwhile to indicate we feel bad for what happened, but had no intentions of doing it. When we do this, we do run the risk of the person not being willing to accept our honest apology. That is a risk we must take and something that needs to be done to in effect right the ship of our sense of right and wrong. Advice succinctly stated would be when making right when we have behaved inappropriately would include accepting the behavior was inappropriate,having appropriate guilt, determining not to do it again and making amends for what was done as best as possible. This is how to deal with appropriate guilt.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO HELP YOUR DEPENDENT ADULT CHILD

    October 15, 2024-

    HOW TO HELP YOUR DEPENDENT ADULT CHILD

    One of the most difficult things for an adult parent to do is to separate themselves from requests from adult children that are harmful to both. Good parents never quit loving their children, regardless of their age. Problems occur when parents, regardless of the reason, find themselves helping out their adult children in a never-ending stream of needs ranging from financial to overwhelming emotional. To help out a child in a difficult financial or emotional relationship situation is what good parents do. When the help leads to dependency on the part of the children on their parents, then something needs to change or it will be a never-ending dependent relationship where the child will not be launched into life with its necessary responsibilities, but rather will be living off of their parents as if they are still young dependent children. This is even more essential if the relationship has never evolved from a dependent child into an adult adult relationship. If you find yourself in such a situation, the following are things to do to return your relationship to hopefully one of two loving independent family adults sharing a loving lifelong family relationship: 1. Determine if you honestly enjoy the dependency and find it hard to say no because it makes you feel better about yourself. 2. Determine what would be reasonable boundaries to help yourself be more responsible as a loving family member, and at the same time helping your child be a responsible adult. 3. Make sure you do not allow your dependent child to use emotional blackmail in the sense that if you do not help them, you will be letting them down as if you were still responsible as a parent for them and they may even indicate you may not be able to see the grandchildren or them if you do not help them get what they want. It is critical not to allow this to happen to you. 4. If your children are financially dependent on you, you need to set up a timeline when you are going to have them be responsible for themselves. A crisis will eventually occur when you stop the funding unless they begin to take responsibility for their own financial needs. 5. If your child is emotionally dependent on you and wearing you out emotionally ,you need to give advice when it is asked, but not become emotionally distraught yourself as you inappropriately take on the emotional burdens of your children. 6. Accept you must stick to the boundaries you have set and recognize that you must stop the process in order to have any lasting change. 7. If you are not able to implement the boundaries that you need to have in order to set your child free to become an independent person, then you can consider bringing in family, friends or an experienced therapist in such matters to help you in the process…This is going to be a very difficult situation for you to change. Oftentimes, this codependency has been in place for many years and may have always been in place since your children became adults. Whatever the situation, the time to change the relationship into a healthy one is now. You both need it.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY RENEWING OLD FRIENDSHIPS IS A GOOD IDEA

    10-09-2024- I believe renewing old friendships is always a good idea. This is particularly true in an age when so many persons feel isolated and do not have enough human contact and non-human electronic communication is often the major means of communication they have. It also is true we live in an aging population time with constant geographical change that results in persons either losing friends due to death or not living near them and losing contact. I believe renewing old friendships is also helpful even if you do have a loving partner, family and friends. Too often persons become too insulated and judgmental in their life outlook by only being around persons who think like them and a broader perspective can be helpful. It also is true that in spite of the tremendous amounts of information available, persons often tend to filter so much available information in a way to only reinforce their views. This is not necessarily a negative thing in itself, but if we want to be as well rounded as we can be, it is always useful to have insights and ideas from other persons different from our own. My wife and I recently have been making contact with friends we knew many years ago, and even have had a chance to meet with many of them in Miami and Michigan. This past weekend I talked to someone I had not seen for decades at a party about fond memories I have of his mother who died over thirty-five years ago. He was very happy to hear my memories. The following are specific advantages of renewing old friendships and keeping the contact current and alive: 1. A big advantage of the electronic age is that it does allow us to talk and see each other, regardless of where in the world we live. 2. It is always helpful for one’s memory to be in contact with friends from the past and relive old memories. 3. If someone were a friend of yours somewhere in your voyage of life, then keeping that friendship alive enriches both of your lives. 4. You will be surprised at how happy most people will be to hear from you and you may hear compliments from them that you made contact and added some brightness to their lives. 5. You may gain some insights on how to look at life through the prism of someone living a very different life. This is true even if your current views on life are very different but both are honorable. 6. As people age or periodically move geographically, their circle of friends often decreases, 7. It is easier to continue long time friendships than go through the long term process of developing new ones…If we are maintaining contact with old friends and have them continue as current friends, the odds are far better we will not end up isolated or so narrow in our views that we run the risk of having trouble having friends or being friends with anyone.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO GET YOUR MOTIVATION BACK

    September 30, 2024-

    HOW TO GET YOUR MOTIVATION BACK

    Motivation is that quality that drives us to satisfy needs that we have and to achieve goals we set to have our dreams come true. It can be intrinsic or extrinsic. A person usually has some combination of both. Intrinsic motivation is that something within us that leads us to want to achieve something,to reach a goal such as learning a trade, graduating from high school/college, finding a lifelong partner to meet our intrinsic needs to love and be loved,meeting a sales goal or simply finding things to make a person happy. Extrinsic motivation comes from outside of us. It usually has some connection to desiring something. It could include financial like a bonus or higher pay, and/or more authority/responsibility,more education/training or receiving praise and/or encouragement from someone we desire it from. The list of possibilities is huge. The combination is what would be what is required to be motivated in life. When our motivation is lacking in either or both of these areas, it can lead to lack of satisfaction in life and health conditions such as headaches, anxiety or depression. It also is true that mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression or physical ailments can lead to a person not having the energy,ability or positive approach to life that is needed in order to be motivated to complete desired activities. The following are things someone can do to try to get their motivation back: 1.Taking an honest look at yourself and determining why you have lost your motivation. 2. Determine what you desire to achieve and what is possible. 3. Seek inspiration from others who once lacked motivation, but came back to be motivated and successful. 4. Determine if anxiety and depression are the cause of your lack of motivation and seek out the psychological and medical support you may need to overcome them. 5. Determine if physical ailments are impacting your motivation and ability to meet goals. 6. Determine if some combination of poor diet, too much caffeine or alcohol, lack of exercise and not enough sleep negatively impact your ability to be motivated. 7. Determine if you are burned out,stressed out or overwhelmed so you are not able to function. 8. Ask for help and insight from professionals and/or those you respect and look up to. 8. Reassess your goals realistically and determine what can be done to best help you get your motivation back. 9. Do self-care and determine that you deserve to be loved by yourself and others. 10. Set goals that are rewarding, specific and reasonable…After you’ve done this, start moving forward and taking control of your life. Lack of motivation hits most people at one time or another. It is important for perspective that you realize you are not alone losing motivation. No, millions of people have lost motivation but overcome it and have been able to get back on the right track. The important thing to remember is that you can do it and each day is the beginning of the rest of your life. Now is the time to be as motivated as you can to seek out realistic goals to make your dreams come true. .

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY HELICOPTER PARENTING CAN HARM YOUR CHILD EMOTIONALLY

    September 24, 2024- Briefly defined, Helicopter Parenting is when a parent becomes overprotective and involved in every aspect of their child’s life. My point is not that being involved with your child and trying to make sure they can be as successful as possible both emotionally and physically is bad. No,to the contrary,that is what good parenting is all about. The problem is that Helicopter Parenting does not allow children to grow and develop their own personalities dealing with the ups and downs that life throws at each of us. Effective parents have guard rails to make sure their child does not stray into dangerous and inappropriate activities for their age. They function as loving advisors who help them through difficult situations but do not take over for them. Sadly,even when with the best of loving intentions,Helicopter Parents can negatively develop dependency,low self esteem,anxiety,depression and poor interpersonal communication skills in the children they love so dearly and do not want to be hurt emotionally or physically. Typical behaviors of Helicopter Parents would include the following: 1. Completing homework assignments and projects. 2. Calling the school and other parents over minor problems their children are having and putting all the blame on others. 3. Micromanaging all aspects of the lives of their children. 4. Excessive control. 5. Demand for total acquiescence/obedience. 6. Involvement in even minor activities like what flavor of ice cream to eat. 7. Total control of friendships. 8.Will not allow different thoughts and opinions from their own. 9. Will not allow a child to flourish as a free thinking person. 10. Excessive social media tracking. 11. Excessive anxiety and fear that something terrible will happen to their children even if as unlikely as a plane falling out of the sky and killing them. 12. Trying to not allow their children to make mistakes. 13. Little or no insight into the inappropriateness of their behaviors and the emotional harm they can cause their children.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO GAIN PERSPECTIVE IN YOUR LIFE

    September 17, 2024- Having perspective on life as we live it is critical for our happiness. Many persons are overwhelmed with life as it occurs and never feel in control as they see it coming at them in a hundred different directions at a hundred miles an hour. The result is they cannot keep pace with their lives which produces anxiety and often depression. Simply defined, perspective is a way to look at your life to be able to cope with it and recognize our attitude has a lot to do with the level of happiness we will experience in our one time trip through it. We must learn how to deal with what life dishes up and cope with it to be as happy as possible. A person with a strong sense of spirituality often has perspective from the fact they realize they are leading a life that will end with eternity if their behaviors are consistent with their beliefs. For example, a Christian who believes in Christ has a roadmap to joyous eternity. Other religions offer similar beliefs. Secular humanists gain perspective by trying to figure out why they are on earth and what is their purpose. Many have the perspective that their purpose is to make the world a better place than the one they came into. Others gain perspective from failure.They are able to use it as a starting point and not an ending point for how their lives will proceed. As I have often stated before, great success can only be achieved when one has learned from failure how to be successful. Perspective also can be gained from the loss of loved ones who we had counted on during our lives. This would include parents, grandparents, mentors, or friends we have fortunately encountered along the road of life. Perspective can also come when we have gratitude for the period we had to share with these persons as we try to live consistent with the advice they gave us when they were alive and with us. Perspective can also be gained when a person tries in their mind to understand what advice these deceased significant persons would be giving them now with the problems and struggles in life that occur as they walk their road of life. Gratitude also gives perspective when one realizes how other persons have harder lives but live their lives with a positive attitude. When all is said and done,one’s perspective on life has much to do with whether a person will have a happy or unhappy life. Choosing a happy life is my advice!

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW CAN AGE BRING MORE JOY AND SATISFACTION

    September 10, 2024- Many people see aging as negative and something that will bring less satisfaction to a person. Many of these persons also believe youth is where happiness is greatest, and after that there may be satisfaction, but nothing like being young. Others believe people are either happy or unhappy, and that is how they are and will be their whole lives. Because of the differences in outlook that human beings have and their life experiences,it is really difficult to answer the question relating to whether someone older or younger is happier. For the sake of discussion, I believe there are many reasons that many persons can have tremendous satisfaction and joy living their lives as they grow older. It may not be that level of joy and happiness that comes when one is young and everything in life can be so unique,exciting,tempting,exotic and wonderful. One may even hate to go to bed when young so they cannot continue doing what gives them such pleasure during the day. The world of gaming is a current such example. I certainly remember many days like that in my youth long before gaming. With that said, it is also true that adolescence can be a very difficult time for young people with levels of joy and satisfaction greatly reduced by such things as bullying, poor achievement, poor social skills, and problematic home environments. What can bring great joy and happiness to many persons in their middle and later ages could include the following: 1. Children raised and developing their own families and lives. 2. Less financial stress that occurs when one is not attempting to buy a home, raise money for retirement, raise children and obtain things that are involved in bringing happiness to a person. 3. More satisfaction and acceptance of a job situation with retirement in sight. 4. Retirement and the ability to have far less stress in life and do things they were not able to do during the hectic periods of early marriage, financial distress, and child rearing that while exciting and even joyful, may have been very stressful. 5.Stability and love in a marriage or relationship. 5.Spending time with friends as desired in a leisurely manner. 6.Finding purpose in life as physical passions cool and the inevitable biological clock unwinds in each person’s life.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss ADOLESCENT SCHOOL MASS MURDERERS

    September 6, 2024- Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss the recent school shooting in Georgia.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss THE IMPORTANCE OF APOLOGIES

    September 3, 2024-

    Even though most people would admit apologies are important, it also is true they often have
    problems effectively giving them. Part of the problem is that people can feel like failures and
    believe they will be looked upon in a negative way if they admit they have done something
    inappropriate. Pride,ego and narcissism can also interfere to the point they deny they have done
    anything wrong and play the victim by strongly claiming victimhood when they clearly had the
    choice not to offend the person. This is very common. Defensiveness can also result in not
    wanting to admit wrongdoing. Others blame third persons for their bad behavior which negates
    their own responsibility. My advice is to simply look at the facts and see if what occurred was
    inappropriate on your part and if there is a way you could have stopped it from occurring. If the
    answer is yes to both of these, then an apology certainly seems like an appropriate thing to
    do.The following are the elements of an effective apology: 1.Acknowledgment to yourself you
    did wrong. 2.Accept you purposefully or inadvertently offended another person. 3.Clearly define
    it exactly for what it is. 4.Say you are sorry for what you did to the person in unequivocal words
    and a promise to not do it again. 5.Accept the offended person may not readily accept your
    apology and may even react with angry or hurt feelings.

    Dr Braccio & Rich Herl of 1320 AM discuss WE ALL NEED TO PRACTICE PATIENCE

    August 27, 2024-

    WE ALL NEED TO PRACTICE PATIENCE

    I think it is safe to say most people believe patience is a virtue and something that can be helpful to them. With that said, it is also true that many of them and those who do not adhere to this belief often make poorly thought out decisions which can lead to problems in their business, financial, personal, family, and intimate relationships. Spending necessary time is often required to make important decisions. This is also true with persons who try to take shortcuts and end up not mastering skills necessary to be successful in life. I have always thought a good quotation on patience is when Samuel Johnson said, “Great works are not by strength, but by perseverance”. Or Saint Augustine who said, “Patience is the companion of wisdom”. Perseverance is the fruit of patience. While there is much truth in the adage,”The person who hesitates is lost”, it must be tempered by the adage,”Look before you leap”. I do not want you to confuse my statement about the need for patience as supporting paralysis of thought or not making important decisions at the correct time to make them. No, my point is that patience is very important in a person’s life to make sure they are being as effective as they can be. The following are advantages that result from patience: 1. Develop persistence and perseverance. 2. Spending the necessary time to learn skills ranging from swinging a baseball bat to successfully completing complex mathematical equations. 3. Listen better to people to fully understand what they mean to say. 4. Make decisions based on rational thinking. 5. Eliminate “seat of the pants” decisions that can lead to destructive financial, professional or personal decisions. 6. Be able to develop and accomplish long-term goals in life that are critical to the accomplishments one needs in life. 7. Develop effective personal relationships ranging from acquaintances to a lifelong loving partner. 8. Help better manage anger and frustration. 9. Take a view of the whole picture rather than making a bad decision without having all the facts needed to make a good one. 10. Learn to practice self control. 11. Patience is not an enemy of good decision-making, but an ally in making the right ones. 12. Your patience will help make other people be more comfortable around you.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss CONTROL YOUR TO DO LIST BEFORE IT CONTROLS YOU

    August 20, 2024- We live at a time when “to do” lists are very popular and often critical to a person’s self-esteem. People often talk about the importance of having a “ to do” list in order to set priorities in their lives. The problem is, the list can overwhelm the individual as it keeps getting longer and never seems to get finished. It is not just procrastinators who become overwhelmed with “to do” lists. No, it is anyone who tries to do so many things that they cannot hope to get them done and the end result can either be getting overwhelmed by what is not done or the situation where many things are started but not completed because new priorities go to the top of the “to do” list. Either way, the person feels lost and a failure. Perfectionists in particular can have problems with a “to do” list because they never feel anything is done right or done as well as it could be. The result can be a never completed list loaded with perceived failures. Something to remember is that computers slow down when we have too many open tabs. The brain works the same way. We tend to not focus as much on things that are completed, but focus on things that are not completed. As a result, persons can spend countless hours focusing on what they are not getting done in their “to do” list and not realizing they may actually be doing fine. Most people, if they are really being honest, will admit they have spent many hours not sleeping thinking about things they have not completed that they feel need to be done or many hours at all times of a given day focusing on things that are not completed. My point here is not for you to not have a “to do” list. On the contrary, it can be very helpful to set priorities and get things done that need to be completed. The problem is if the “to do” list keeps getting bigger and the activities that have not been completed on the list begin to overwhelm the person‘s brain. Ways to not get overwhelmed with a “to do” list and have it be effective for you would include the following: 1. Determine the night before what priorities you have and what you feel needs to be done the next day. 2. On a daily basis, take a look at your “to do” list, and cross off all things that are not that important at this time and only focus on those things that can reasonably get done on a short or long-term basis. 3. Complete the most important activities on your “to do” list. 4. Do not focus on what you have not completed or things further down the list that you may or may not get done based on needs of the time…These may seem like easy things to do, but they are obviously not for many persons. One need not be a psychologist to meet persons overwhelmed by their “to do” list. No, they are all around us. Now is the time to take control of your life and use your “to do” list in a reasonable way to make you more effective as you meet priorities and do not get overwhelmed with non-priority tasks.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss CONTROL YOUR TO DO LIST BEFORE IT CONTROLS YOU

    August 13, 2024- We live at a time when “to do” lists are very popular and often critical to a person’s self-esteem. People often talk about the importance of having a “ to do” list in order to set priorities in their lives. The problem is, the list can overwhelm the individual as it keeps getting longer and never seems to get finished. It is not just procrastinators who become overwhelmed with “to do” lists. No, it is anyone who tries to do so many things that they cannot hope to get them done and the end result can either be getting overwhelmed by what is not done or the situation where many things are started but not completed because new priorities go to the top of the “to do” list. Either way, the person feels lost and a failure. Perfectionists in particular can have problems with a “to do” list because they never feel anything is done right or done as well as it could be. The result can be a never completed list loaded with perceived failures. Something to remember is that computers slow down when we have too many open tabs. The brain works the same way. We tend to not focus as much on things that are completed, but focus on things that are not completed. As a result, persons can spend countless hours focusing on what they are not getting done in their “to do” list and not realizing they may actually be doing fine. Most people, if they are really being honest, will admit they have spent many hours not sleeping thinking about things they have not completed that they feel need to be done or many hours at all times of a given day focusing on things that are not completed. My point here is not for you to not have a “to do” list. On the contrary, it can be very helpful to set priorities and get things done that need to be completed. The problem is if the “to do” list keeps getting bigger and the activities that have not been completed on the list begin to overwhelm the person‘s brain. Ways to not get overwhelmed with a “to do” list and have it be effective for you would include the following: 1. Determine the night before what priorities you have and what you feel needs to be done the next day. 2. On a daily basis, take a look at your “to do” list, and cross off all things that are not that important at this time and only focus on those things that can reasonably get done on a short or long-term basis. 3. Complete the most important activities on your “to do” list. 4. Do not focus on what you have not completed or things further down the list that you may or may not get done based on needs of the time…These may seem like easy things to do, but they are obviously not for many persons. One need not be a psychologist to meet persons overwhelmed by their “to do” list. No, they are all around us. Now is the time to take control of your life and use your “to do” list in a reasonable way to make you more effective as you meet priorities and do not get overwhelmed with non-priority tasks.

    Dr Braccio & Rich Herl of 1320 AM discuss ADHD AND PROCRASTINATION SEGNMENT

    August 6, 2024- The hallmarks of ADHD are lack of focus, inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity. Often comorbid with the condition is procrastination. It is a reasonable outcome if you consider that persons with ADHD have problems dealing with projects and activities they have little interest and the result can be procrastination. This is particularly true with long and multistep projects and activities. Ambiguity of any type can also lead to confusion and difficulty on how to complete a required task. Procrastination is often a way to deal with the anxiety and worry that can result from this ambiguity or uncertainty of how to attack what is often a major activity. The result can be problems meeting responsibilities that are required in a person‘s life. If one cannot complete required activities in their personal and working lives, the result can be poor work performance and problems in personal relationships. The common result in persons with ADHD is that they procrastinate too often and wait until the last minute to complete things. This becomes to them a normal pattern in their lives. They often will even say they cannot work on long and difficult projects until the very last minute and then they can work for many hours because they are highly motivated to complete the activity out of necessity. The problem with this is that responsibilities are often not met because there is not enough time to complete the task or the work that is done is shabby and does not meet the requirements of the activity. Persons who do not have problems with lack of focus, inattention and procrastination often believe the person with these traits just needs to work a little harder, be more responsible and just do what is required. While it is true a person must try to do this to be successful in their lives, it is also true this can be exceptionally difficult to do if one has the hallmarks of ADHD. Even though there are persons who can be helped with a medication such as Adderall or other medications ,there are still things persons must do with or without medication to fight procrastination.These would include the following: 1. Set limits on what you will and will not do so you do not get overwhelmed. 2. Breakdown difficult and multistep activities into smaller ones to make the task less intimidating. 3.Plan timed breaks to keep fresh and not procrastrate and be off to do other things. 4. Place yourself physically whenever possible in an area away from the noise and distractions that occur in everyday life and not give yourself an environment to drift off into other activities. 5.Set specific and reasonable expectations for yourself. 6. Identify triggers that lead to procrastination and replace them with ones that keep you on task. 7. Choose 3-5 things to do each day and reward yourself when you complete them.