Tag: Divorce

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss THE TORTURED LIFE OF THE ENVIOUS PERSON

    Subscribe to our page! 10-31-2023 Envy can be torturous to a person who constantly desires the good fortune they perceive someone else is experiencing and are very upset emotionally they do not have it. It is a case where a person does not look at the benefits and gifts they have in life but constantly compare themselves with others and do it in a negative way. They can be envious of someone they perceive as better looking, having better luck, having more wealth, having a better personality, coming from a better family, having a more attractive spouse, having a better circle of friends, or any other thing that someone could be envious. The result is that the person suffers a form of emotional pain because they do not have what the other person has. It can be positive if it inspires someone to try harder to achieve something. That would be a positive type of envy. But today we are talking about the type of envy that hurts the person emotionally, and from which some persons never recover in their lives as they constantly find things to be envious. It is the rather odd phenomenon of counting the blessings of others and underestimating their own. The end result is psychological hurt and frustration.The causes of envy are often low self-esteem caused by difficulties in one’s youth. They can relate to poverty or feelings of not being treated fairly at home and in life. There also are competitive persons who simply must be number one even in areas they clearly are not. It is not by accident that envy is considered one of the seven deadly sins. At its worst,envy can lead to mocking the person for their perceived superiority or one can use sarcasm and other passive-aggressive strategies to undermine the person that one has envy. Ways to overcome envy would include the following: 1. Count and appreciate your own blessings and achievements! 2. Develop a sense of happiness that others have their blessings. 3. Make envy positive by improving yourself in areas that previously caused envy. 4. never compare yourself with others except for self improvement. Love yourself! 5. Accept you are an envious person and determine to overcome it. 6. Make changes in your own life to help eliminate envy. 7. Seek and find spiritual satisfaction to help overcome worldly envy and be happier. 8. If you feel it would be helpful, seek out a trained therapist with a person who is experienced in helping persons with envy.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS FOR DEALING WITH A DIFFICULT CHILD

    October 24, 2023- A person is very fortunate who has not had a difficult child at one time or another during the period they were being raised. In my work with parents trying to learn how to deal with a difficult child, my point is not to find fault with parenting techniques that have been used up to that time, but rather to try to find the best way for the parents to be able to work with a difficult child in the here and now. An important thing to remember is that children do not misbehave simply because they desire to do it. There is a reason for the behavior. It can be a parent is too strict or too lax. There are many other reasons that the misbehavior can occur. The important thing is to try to learn why is your child being so difficult with you. If it is hard to determine from all the possibilities ranging from a child wanting to control the house to a child simply desiring attention and willing to accept negative attention versus no attention,do not worry. The important thing is to try the following strategies to help you and your child: 1. Recognize you are a parent and your job is to model good behavior and not allow you or your child to be rude or disrespectful. 2. Regardless of what has happened to the present, you need to set up boundaries on what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. 3. Keep control of your own emotions and not allow your child to create a sibling-like relationship with you that simply devolves into constant arguing and disagreement. 4. Seek out when your child is behaving appropriately and praise them at that time. The goal is to encourage and reinforce appropriate behavior. Too often the parent says nothing when the child is behaving appropriately for the risk of beginning a conflict. 5. Reward good behavior when possible with compliments and potentially with desired activities or things as long as it is not simply a child being good to receive rewards. It is important to remember that when children behave as desired,we often do good things for them and see it as appropriate. 6. Have few rules in the house and enforce them with consequences that the child is aware of with no surprises. 7. As possible, have family discussions where there can be agreements on what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior, and what are the consequences for inappropriate behavior. When this occurs, and you and the child are aware their activities have led to the resulting consequences,they then must accept the consequences as their own making. Successful family discussions relating to appropriate behaviors are not simple to do but something to work on as a family over a period of time. What are acceptable behaviors by you can also be part of the plan. 8.. Take into account your own temperament and personality when dealing with your child. It is very possible the temperament and personality of your child are quite different from you and this leads to a lot of the bumping heads that is occurring between you. Try to use an approach that takes into account the needs of your personality as well as that of your child. Understanding these differences can be critical in developing good communication between the two of you. 9. Recognize situations where there are high risks of problems occurring and plan accordingly for how you will react to them. 10. Make sure you focus on the problem of the moment and do not bring in previous problems lest the discussion become one of a list of problems and not a resolution of a current one. 11. Seek out a therapist who can help your child behave more appropriately and potentially do family counseling. 10. Seek out an experienced therapist in family dynamics who can help guide you to be a more effective parent for both you and your child.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss BE PREPARED PSYCHOLOGICALLY FOR RETIREMENT

    October 10, 2023:

    BE PREPARED PSYCHOLOGICALLY FOR RETIREMENT

    I have learned in my work as a psychologist over the decades that persons when getting ready to retire, often do it with planning about their physical and financial conditions. Without a doubt,these are important areas to evaluate when you consider retirement. The problem is too often persons do not think about what the impact retirement will have on them psychologically. For example, a job is more than something a person simply spends time at. No,a job impacts a person’s self esteem, friendships, and image to all persons they meet and interact with. Being a farmer, psychologist, bookkeeper , physician , governmental worker, factory worker, radio broadcaster, etc., is a major part of who they are. When they retire, they become a “retired person” and people see them as such. This can be fine for many persons, but many others do not realize the importance their job had on them in relation to status, levels of friendship, levels of authority and the constant interaction and challenges in the workplace. One needs to prepare for such a radical change to their lives. Even persons who did not like their jobs can miss the relationships and interactions that were meaningful to them on a day to day basis. I have known and worked with many persons who were not prepared for the significant changes that occur in their life after retirement. The “golden retirement years” can be depressing , lonely, and demoralizing when the person feels isolated,bored and even without purpose. They can even feel guilty at their failure to feel fulfilled with their retirement . A recent AARP study found 57% of retired persons say they had not prepared psychologically for retirement. The following are some suggestions to help a person be psychologically ready to retire: 1.Make sure you want to do it and are ready psychologically. 2.Do not let age be the primary retirement determinant. I will be 80 years old this week and have never thought a day of retiring. 3.See retirement as a new phase of your life with new goals and challenges. 4.Look for new dreams to be fulfilled. 5.Join new groups and rekindle old friendships. 6.Enhance family and spousal relationships. 7.Complete desired educational goals you desire to complete. 8.Meet with a therapist experienced in dealing with mental health of persons preparing to retire as well as retired persons. 9.Further develop your sense of spirituality and purpose in life.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHEN TO STAY AFTER AN AFFAIR

    10-03-2023-

    WHEN TO STAY AFTER AN AFFAIR

    This is our third segment on affairs and their effects on relationships. We discussed why persons have affairs and what the person who had it can try to do to salvage the relationship. Today we discuss why the aggrieved partner chooses to stay in the relationship when the philanderer has true remorse and wants the relationship to continue. This remorse is the key first step in keeping the marriage together. Further factors would include the following: 1.Good friends who enjoy the company of each other and the sharing of their lives. 2. Similar moral and/or spiritual values. 3. Sexual attraction and sexual needs. 4. Children and the impact on them. 5. Common interests and joint activities. 6. Financial considerations. 7. Future joint dreams and goals. 8. Probability or belief spouse or partner will never again philander. 9.Emotional needs being met.10. Willingness to take part in counseling. 11. And most importantly,a strong bond of love.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM Rebuilding Trust After an Affair- subscribe to our YouTube page!

    September 26, 2023 Last week we discussed why persons have affairs. Today we are going to talk about how the person who had the affair can help rekindle the love in the relationship if the partner is willing to give the marriage or relationship another chance. It is critical that the person who had the affair clearly has remorse for what has occurred and tries to do everything possible to convince a spouse or partner what occurred was truly a betrayal, and will never happen again. The process will predictably be very slow and frustrating to the person who simply wants to let the past go and move on. That is not how things work in rebuilding a relationship where betrayal exists. When a person loves someone and believes they are loved equally, betrayal and infidelity are devastating to the whole underpinnings of the relationship and it is very hard to convince them they truly are the primary focus of the love of the person. The following are suggestions to try to make this happen: 1.Total authentic remorse. 2. Great long term patience. 3. Recognition the questions will keep coming over and over again. 4. Doubts about the authenticity of your remorse may be questioned for a very long period. 5. Always explain where you are when questioned during the rebuilding of love and trust period. 6. The timeline for forgiveness and building a different but potentially better love relationship is with the betrayed spouse or partner and not the philanderer. 7. A therapist trained in working with partners is philandering relationships could be helpful. 8.Spirtuality could also be a strong foundation for the rebuilding of the loving relationship. 9.Be aware,the betrayed person may never get over the affair and the marriage may end; however,it will not be because you did not try to authenticity rebuild a loving relationship.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY PERSONS HAVE AFFAIRS

    September 22, 2023-

    WHY PERSONS HAVE AFFAIRS

    Most of us are aware of a person or persons in marriage or monogamous relationships that have intimate relationships with other persons. The opportunities are many in such a fast paced society. The electronic world we live in today allows these relationships to be sexual, emotional, and a combination of the two without being physically together. My purpose here is to talk about why persons do this. The reasons are amazingly varied and can range from shallow sexual relationships to intense online emotional and sexual activity. We will talk another time about how relationships can be salvaged when affairs occur. Reasons would include the following: 1.Persons with an incapacity to commit to a monogamous relationship and never will. 2. Risktakers who enjoy the activity and hope not to get caught. They like living on the edge. 3.Persons who get caught up in the moment and determine they are going to do what they are going to do and not worry about the consequences. 4. Compulsive sex addicts. 5.Those who have affairs while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. 6. Persons who feel a lack of affection and the need to get it outside of the relationship. 7. A breakdown of communication between the spouses or partners that leads to the person feeling they need this and will get it one way or the other. 8. Poor self-esteem and the need to feel better about self by having another person pay them reinforcement and attention. 9. Concerns relating to conversations not taking place in the home and the need for discussion about them that only can occur outside of the home.10. Major physical or mental conditions of a partner such as severe pain, Parkinson’s disease, MS or dementia can lead to someone finding sexual and emotional satisfaction outside of the home. 11. Having children can lead to so much of the focus of the spouse or partner on the children, that the person feels abandoned and obtains sexual and emotional satisfaction outside of the home. 12. Physical separation for extended periods of time and the spouse or partner feels the need for in person sexual and emotional intimacy apart from the phone or visual communication…The point here is not to indicate any of these reasons, as well as many others, justify someone breaking the commitment to a marriage or monogamous relationship. The point is that affairs are incredibly common and it is critical that spouses and partners continually work on their relationships on a daily basis, and be aware that strong friendship is the glue that keeps relationships together. When persons take each other for granted, and do not treat each other like dear friends and let other priorities take precedence over their relationship, then affairs are often sadly the result.

    THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURE OF OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR(OCD)

    August 29, 2023 Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder(OCD) can psychologically torture a person with a constant cycle of obsessing on an act or thought,having severe anxiety about eliminating it and completing a compulsive act or thought to relieve the sometimes debilitating anxiety. While the OCD sequence can relate to a seemingly almost endless list of thoughts and behaviors,they very commonly occur with extreme cleanliness and hatred of dirt or germs,hand washing,hoarding,keeping things in a rigid or symmetrical manner, numbers, and making sure over and over again you have locked the door or turned out the lights. A good example is the person constantly washing their hands and can only relieve the belief their hands are not dirty by constantly washing them again and again in an endless cycle. I remember a house hoarder who could no longer put things in his house buying another house to reduce his anxiety! An important thing to remember is that everyone has some activities they are very concerned about completing and getting them right. Wanting to have an orderly room or clean hands would be reasonable things for a person to desire and do. It becomes a problem when the OCD symptoms begin to interfere in the life of the person and the resulting anxiety and attempting to resolve it with rituals and time consuming activities and thoughts impact negatively on a person’s life that a person meets the diagnosis of OCD. It also is important to note that OCD symptoms can overlap with anxiety , ADHD, and depression to name a few. It is not unusual for a person with OCD to have additional diagnoses. Over the years, I have talked to many persons with OCD and can verify the condition can really be torturous for the person psychologically. I have talked to persons who are so concerned about food in a restaurant that they will pick through it with a fork and knife to make sure there are no bugs or other forms of dirt in it. Others who will not go to a restaurant out of utterly unreasonable fears of food contamination. Additionally, I have known persons so obsessed with how safe the air they are breathing or the water they are drinking that they are never comfortable with them to the point they are always checking them. This negatively impacts on their ability to function in all areas of their lives…If you feel you have OCD or some of the symptoms are growing and interfering with your psychological well-being,now is a good time to obtain an evaluation by an experienced psychologist in OCD and and also talk to your family physician or pediatrician to take back control of your life. .

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR MEMORY

    August 22, 2023 – We all have questions about our memory at one time or another. Oftentimes, memory issues can relate to high levels of anxiety, depression, prescription medications,drug and alcohol abuse,high blood pressure,brain injury,and the general stressors of life that make it difficult for us to remember things that are important or not important. However, it is also true that as we age problems with memory can become significant, and it is important that we notice when this occurs and determine what we will do to try to control the memory problems as best we can. Typical questions to ask would include the following: 1.Do you feel you have memory loss? If so, how? 2.Do you feel you have intermittent memory problems? If so, how? 3. Do you feel memory problems are causing you significant problems in your personal, marital, and/or professional life? If so, how? 4. Have you noted ongoing consistent memory loss? 5. Do you get lost walking or driving in neighborhoods you are very familiar? 6. Do you regularly forget common words you have used daily your whole life? 7. Do you sometimes talk “word salads” that you think are understandable but are not by others? 8. Do you ask the same question over and over again in brief spaces of time and have no idea you are doing it? 9. Who has noticed you may have memory problems? If so, what specific examples and concerns are mentioned? 10. Are you under significant stress in your life? 11.Do you have high blood pressure, insomnia, stroke history or other physical conditions that could relate to your memory loss?… If you answer yes to some of these questions, it is important you talk to your family doctor and a psychologist skilled in the assessment of memory problems to determine the extent of the problems and possible medical and mental health help to positively impact on the symptoms as much as possible.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss FALSE BELIEFS ON MARITAL AFFAIRS

    03-14-2023-Considering how common marital affairs are,it is amazing how many false beliefs there are about them. I have found this to be true since beginning to work with couples back in the 70s to the present. Common false beliefs would include the following: 1.Closely monitoring the whereabouts of a spouse will eliminate marital affairs. It may help,but someone determined to have affairs will have them. 2.Affairs do not occur when there is good intimacy in the home. Even though the chances of marital affairs are less in such cases,they still occur. 3.Spouses who cheat do not love their spouses. While most would agree with this,it is sadly not always true. This is particularly true with the “one nighters” or brief flings. 4.Infidelity is just about sex. This is not true. Spouses often have affairs to show they are still young,desirable,attractive or to enhance their ego. There also may be anger,wanting to feel loved,need for affection or showing control. 5.Spouses who cheat once will always cheat again. While the probabilities are higher in such cases,it is often not the case. The possible shame,remorse and possibility of losing economic power,a spouse and family can be so powerful that once is often enough. 6.Marriage cannot survive a marital affair. While this is often the case,it is not always true. Hard work and total honesty as a couple can reset the marriage on the loving course it started out. Marriages also survive due to finances,low self-esteem of the spouse,lack of love,family expectations and responsibilities.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discussTHE JOYS OF BEING A FATHER-subscribe to our YouTube page!

    02-07-2023 Today is a shout-out for the joys of being a father. There are few things more joyful than being a father. Whether the father believes from a spiritual perspective a child was sent from God for them to raise to be a good human being, or from a secular perspective nature has provided them a child to raise to be a good human being,the joy of being involved in bringing a new human being into the world is breathtaking and as exciting as it can get. Even sometimes the majesty of seeing a child being born can cause sheer amazement. Even though the mother carries the child, the father is clearly directly involved in the process and what joy when the father sees a child for the first time! While there will be many tears along the way in trying to best raise their child, the choice of being a father and raising your own child can overwhelm anything negative. What a wonderful life-role it is to be a loving father with children. What joy to see a little baby laughing with you or a child thinking you are a strong hero or running to the door yelling papa to hug you when you enter the home from work. I must add,what I say here is impacted by the fact I am the father of two remarkable children. With that said,I believe there are countless fathers around the world who equally love their children and greatly enjoy or have enjoyed raising them until they are successfully launched into their lives.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM HOW TO RAISE SUCCESSFUL CHILDREN- Subscribe to our YouTube Page!

    January 31, 2023 In an age where there is so much competition for the attention of our children, it is important that good parenting take place through monitoring and screening all the input coming in from all directions. This occurs when parents are aware of what is needed to help their children be as successful as they can be in all phases of their lives. The following are the types of traits and skills that need to be reinforced and modeled to have the best opportunity for our children to succeed: 1.Honesty. 2.Self-control. 3.Confidence in self. 4.Curiosity to learn. 4.Perseverance. 5.Positive mantras to live by. 6.Empathy and understanding of others. 7.Optimism versus pessimism. 8.Ongoing honest and sincere encouragement and affirmations for positive behaviors and attitudes. 9.Consistency in rules,routines and expectations. 10.Help develop authenticity on who they are as they grow and develop. 11.Learn to celebrate success of others and not be jealous. 12.Always try again, after the many failures everyone encounters in their lives. 13.Accept their own mistakes and do not blame others. 14.Trying to do your best is being successful. 15.Be reasonable in self expectations. 16.Take time to smell the roses and enjoy the quiet moments of thinking and spiritual development. 17.Make time to help others in a way that can have a positive impact. Just one smile can change the course of another person’s day. 18.Help develop strong personal interaction skills. 19.Reasonable use of computer usage. 20.Encourage positive and supportive friendships. They are critical to a person’s future success. They fuel and reinforce each other in their successful lives.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss Dr Braccio & Mike Austin HOW TO HELP A LOVED SPOUSE/PARTNER TRYING TO OVERCOME UNREASONABLE ANGER

    Subscribe to our YouTube page!

    January 24, 2023

    Anger is a normal emotion someone feels when frustrated or feeling some level of mistreatment or misunderstanding. Anger can be helpful when protecting self or others from danger and unfair treatment. When someone has problems controlling their anger and relationships suffer or even end,then a person has unreasonable anger that must be controlled. For clarification,I am not talking about anger that results in physical abuse,or ongoing bullying,demeaning and sarcastic treatment. Loving persons cannot be around such abusive persons. We are talking here about when spouses/partners show unreasonable anger and want you to help them overcome an anger problem they acknowledge and want to overcome. Both need to recognize anger is often a secondary emotion that results from such things as fear, depression, jealousy, low self-esteem, high anxiety, substance abuse, family issues, societal expectations,and employment issues. Once the two of you have figured out the causes of the unreasonable anger, the following things can be done to help your loved one overcome it: 1.Identify the triggers for the anger and replace them with healthy ones. 2.Actively listen to what bothers them to fully understand it. 3.Always try to be as calm as possible. 4.Change the focus of a discussion that is going nowhere. 5.Allow them emotional space as needed when they are working out their anger. 6.Set boundaries for what you will accept and not accept that both of you understand and agree. 7.Make supportive statements. 8.As needed, strongly support them to seek professional help from an experienced therapist in anger management. 9.Support sought for spiritual growth and support. 10.Make sure in the process you look after your own emotional well-being. 11.Do not become co-dependent if the person does not change and you continue over and over again to put up with the anger they choose to not overcome. This is especially true if the anger is directed at you.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO EMOTIONALLY WEATHER THE DEATH OF OUR LOVING PARENTS

    Subscribe to our YouTube page!

    There are few things in life more emotionally painful and harder to get over than the death of our loving parents. I personally have lost both parents and think of them and our experiences together on a regular basis since their passing 41 years and 24 years ago respectively. Even for those who had rocky relationships with their parents,the loss is still very significant. The person in effect is an orphan losing their life giving parents who not only brought them into the world but often raised and loved them unconditionally up until their deaths. While grieving is a very personal thing,the emotional pain is intense and loaded with emotional minefields. The following are suggestions on how to emotionally deal with the death of loving parents: 1.Take care of your own emotional needs. Be aware your emotions will be on an emotional roller coaster. 2.Crying and emotionally letting it all out is fine. 3.Do not let anyone but yourself determine how you will grieve and how long it will last. The course of grieving is totally unique with each person. 4.Talk and reminisce with family and friends about your parents. 5.Find ways to remember your parents with memories and physical momentos of theirs. 6.Set up future family get togethers as positive anchor points to remember your parents as a family. 7.Be open to asking for emotional support. No one is a totally self-sufficient island. 8.As you feel appropriate,seek out support groups for grieving to interact with persons experiencing similar grieving experiences. 9.As you feel appropriate,seek out an experienced therapist familiar with parental loss grieving.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss HOW TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF A PERSON YOU CARE FOR IN SUBSTANCE ABUSE RECOVERY

    1-10-2023

    Substance abuse is a problem for millions of Americans. Over 110,000 person died of drug overdose in 2022. Fentanyl is the number one cause of deaths in the United States between the ages of 18-45. These numbers do not include alcohol and other drug related deaths and problems that plague the country. It destroys not only the lives of the persons with the addiction, but impacts all those around them who love and care for them. We want to help persons in sobriety to end the addiction and return to the person they were and can be. Many of us are aware of situations where parents have had children taken away from them or must submit to supervised visitation restrictions due to addiction. Most of us know of persons who have lost jobs and had marriages destroyed. Or persons who have worn out their welcome to family,children and friends by constant lying,running around with other addicts,stealing and asking for money that leads to continued drug use. Additionally, addictive persons lose all sense of right and wrong and can get involved in illegal activities they never would have without addiction. Sadly,this can lead to criminal records and often times of incarceration. While this bleak view of addiction is sadly accurate, when a person is in sobriety and overcoming the addiction,it is important we offer as much support as we can to those we love and care for. While it is important for the person without an addiction to try to understand the causes of addiction, my point here is to give basic suggestions on how someone can be supportive of the person in sobriety and needing all the support available: 1.As appropriate,let the person know you do love and care for them as human beings. 2.Sincerely support their sobriety efforts with encouragement. 3.Call them for general discussion and talking about things other than just sobriety. 4.Let them know everyone needs help at times. 5.Let them know they are not alone. They can call you any time. 6.Invite them to events with family and friends and even just with you to get them away from loneliness and temptation. 7.Recognize in your own mind that addiction is a disease and not a mental health defect. 8.Check in regularly even if just with a friendly message of hello. 9.Be aware and sympathetic to the temptation to return to using and being around other users is tremendously powerful when feeling isolated with not much hope. 10.Always give hope and indicate now is the beginning of their lives. The past is a memory. 11.Let them know you are proud of them and their efforts. 12.At times,just listen.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss STOP OVERSHARING INAPPROPRIATE INFORMATION IN SOCIAL INTERACTIONS WHEN FEELING SOCIALLY AWKWARD AND SOCIALLY ANXIOUS

    Subscribe to our YouTube page!

    January 4, 2022

    Let us begin by eliminating the narcissist who always wants to share information with an often seductive and always deceitful purpose in mind. The oversharing of persons who have social awkwardness and social anxiety has nothing in common with the self-serving communications of the narcissist. In fact,I have often found persons who are socially awkward and socially anxious are very sensitive and caring persons…A common problem for the socially awkward and socially anxious person is to overshare information in an inappropriate manner that makes the other person feel uncomfortable and makes them afterwards upset with themselves about how much information was inappropriately shared. This happens when someone may be anxious when the conversation does not seem to be going anywhere and they feel the need to fill it in with information that may go far beyond what would be appropriate in such a situation. For example, if in the checkout lane at the grocery store and someone asks you how you are and you start talking in detail about all the problems you are having with your spouse. This would not be appropriate. To do this with a co-worker or acquaintance would be worse. Persons do this often without thinking about possible negative consequences in relationships or making other persons uncomfortable when sharing too much about themselves. This information can even be used against them. Some persons also do this too often when trying too fast to move along a relationship and turn the person off. Another reason persons do this who are socially anxious is they worry about how they are being perceived and feel the need to be liked and wrongfully believe this can be best done by giving what they erroneously believe is an authentic presentation of how they are feeling. Being authentic is quite different from sharing information that is not appropriate. If this continues happening to you over and over again even when you start picking up cues they are uncomfortable with all the information you are sharing,this can become a big problem with the quality of your social interactions and even friendships. If this is a problem you are having, and it is more of a common problem than you might think, the following are suggestions on what to do to limit oversharing inappropriate information: 1.Think before you speak. Always have in mind what are appropriate and inappropriate things to say. 2.If in doubt or anxious about where a conversation is going or if there is silence, simply have some questions to continue the discussion rather than rambling on giving too much information. 3.Slow down the pace of the conversation when you are speaking to have more control over what you say. Too often,persons ramble on because of the need they feel to continue the conversation. 4.If using social media, think before you send messages to better determine what is appropriate to say or not say. 5.If you realize you are entering into a conversation that is going the wrong direction, shift the conversation and try to talk about something else. 6.Keep a journal of your conversations and see if there is a pattern to who and what you overshare and when you do it. You can use this information to help you not do it any more or at least begin to make it occur far less frequently. Your journal is a link into yourself to try to analyze and find why you are sharing the information with persons and start better monitoring the information you share at a global level. This will over time hopefully lead to a new communication style with persons. 7.You are far better off to feel awkward in a conversation and not overshare than feel guilty for what you said. 8.Talk to family,friends and persons you trust and ask them when they feel you have overshared information that could be seen as inappropriate and/or negative for you. 9.If you feel the need,seek out a trained therapist who can role-play with you on conversations you have had where you feel you have overshared information and learn techniques to overcome this problem. 

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM WILS discuss HOW PARENTS BUILD AND RESILIENCE IN THEIR CHILDREN

    Subscribe to our YouTube page!

    In the aftermath of the COVID 19 pandemic with the loss of personal interactions in the school setting and with family and friends,multitudes of young persons have not only suffered academic loss but also suffer to one degree or another with anxiety,depression,PTSD,phobias,poor resilience,poor emotional strength and general fears about life and their future. In such an environment,it is essential parents work as hard as they can to built emotional strength and resilience in their children to not only address problem areas but help them develop life skills to overcome them. Parental behaviors to this end would include the following: 1.PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING. 2.MODELING STABILITY THROUGH GOOD PROBLEM SOLVING WITH RESULTING RESILIENCE . 3.CLOSE COMMUNICATION WITH SCHOOL PERSONNEL AS NEEDED. 4.COUNSELING AS NECESSARY. 5.CLOSE CONTACT WITH CLERGY CONSISTENT WITH YOUR FAITH. 6.TUTORING SUPPORT AS NEEDED. 7.SHOWING UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. 8.DEVELOPING STRONG FAMILY COMMITMENT AND ATTACHMENT. 9.ENCOURAGING HEALTHY FAMILY AND OTHER SOCIAL INTERACTIONS. 10.EXPLAINING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REASONABLE AND UNREASONABLE BELIEFS AND CONCERNS. 10.HELPING BUILD RESILIENCE TO LIFE’S PROBLEMS THROUGH EFFECTIVE PROBLEM ANALYSIS AND SOLUTION.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss LOCUS OF CONTROL IN YOUR LIFE

    Subscribe to our YouTube page!

    11-15-2022

    Locus of Control is something very important in determining how you look at life. If you believe in “internal locus of control”,then you have the belief you can control what is going on in your life. Preparation,planning and training dominate the thinking and direction you have in your life. But if you believe in “external locus of control”,then you are basically feeling life happens to you and you do not have control over it. You are like a leaf driven by the wind to unknown places. Each day can be filled with dread and fears about what may occur. Research shows high achievement and positive self-image are enhanced by the belief you determine your successes and failures by your decisions. However,there is little doubt successes are strongly influenced by opportunities and circumstances one may have little control. Illness and lack of opportunities can halt and negatively impact the success and self-esteem of almost anyone. A reasonable view to have good mental health is to have a mixture of both. Believe you can control what you can in yourself but also recognize opportunities can occur separate from your plans and preparation. 

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss OLDER PERSONS(65 AND OLDER) AND DEPRESSION

    Subscribe to our YouTube page!- November 8, 2022

    No one is immune from depression. It impacts everyone to one degree or another in one’s lifetime. The problem with persons 65 and older is that they are often having to deal with issues that younger persons do not. Most specifically, it would include problems with their physical and mental abilities, loss of a spouse, family location,loss of employment, lack of mobility,death of friends, poor memory,loss of status and accepting mortality… Not that all of these things happen to one person at the same time or that they always cause depression. But over time they do tend to occur in some combination with most persons as the cycle of life progresses. The following are important things to do to help alleviate the sadness and depression that can occur in older persons due to the issues mentioned above: 1.Exercise and keep as physically fit as possible. 2.Have regular medical check ups to make sure you are physically as healthy as possible. 3.Seek out counseling as necessary to help you with the changes of life that occur in your aging process that cause you depression. 4.Accept changes that can cause depression will occur and plan accordingly as best you can. 5.Finely hone your spiritual and/or internal resources to help you find purpose in your life from what you have experienced and what you intend to experience in the latter stages of your life. As always,make each day count. 6.Continue to be as involved as you can in church and any other activities. 7.Cultivate and keep in contact with friends you have known over your lifetime. Talk to persons you may not have talked to for decades. 8.Become more communicative with your spouse,family and persons close to you. 9. Resist isolation. Be as active as you can. 10. Do puzzles and any other intellectual activities to keep your mind sharp…Aging is a process we all go through as we live our lives. The important thing is not to have great fear and resulting depression but do whatever you can to find meaning in your life through maximal physical, intellectual and emotional involvement. As you age do not focus on the disabilities or limitations you have but rather focus on what you can do to make as much impact as possible on yourself and others. The road of life can be difficult but it can always be meaningful and something to look forward to. GO FOR IT WITH GUSTO!!!!!!

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO CONTROL ANGER OUTBURSTS OVER TRIVIAL MATTERS

    October 11, 2022- It is an unfortunate fact most persons at one time or another waste a lot of their energy by being angry over trivial matters. Things as simple as a person driving too slowly on the road in front of us,a child leaving a book at school or a spouse forgetting to pick something up on the way home can lead to severe anger outbursts. This is unhealthy for the person having the anger outbursts and for the recipients. Too often anger outbursts occur with persons who lived in homes where parents were constantly bickering and fighting over many small things and they learned these behaviors when modeled by them. As a result,it is not surprising when these behaviors are in effect re-enactments in the present. The power of modeling on future human behavior is so powerful and often not understood by persons on both sides of the anger outbursts. In order to end the emotional turmoil for all involved persons,the following are suggestions on how to overcome anger outbursts over trivial matters: 1.Truly recognize how short life is and do not waste a moment we have to live on foolish and antagonizing anger outbursts over trivial matters. Carpe diem!(Seize the day!) 2.Recognize what is appropriate anger over mistreatment rather than inappropriate anger over trivial matters. 3.Think how important you will think what you are mad about in this moment will be in an hour,a day,a week,a month or a year. 4.Think about how important it is today what your great great great grandparent was upset about one hundred and twenty years ago today. 5.Replace negative anger trigger thoughts with positive and neutral thoughts. 6.Problem solve with those you get angry with to work as a team to eliminate anger outbursts over trivial matters. 7.Do deep in and out breathing and count as you do it. 8.Seek out a therapist who is expert in anger management to help eliminate trivial anger outbursts.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM LET GETTING OLDER BE AN EXCITING VOYAGE

    September 27, 2022

    We live in an age where ageism or getting older is seen as something to be dreaded and avoided at all costs. We can easily see this as people rush to plastic surgeons and the latest cosmetics advertised on TV to keep us young and ever younger yet! This is unfortunate because more and more research is showing that persons who see getting older has advantages with things to look forward to are not only happier but live longer than those who do not. This does not diminish the reality of physical decline and death. The focus on living positively as we get older is the proverbial view it is better to see the glass half filled rather than half empty. The following are things to look forward to as we get older:
    1.You need not worry about dying young! (The Roman Cicero noted this is his classic work ,ON OLD AGE.) 2.Recognizing our mortality can have us cherish each day we live. 3.More leisure time to think and do things. 4.Learn new things. 5.Nurture and rekindle long term friendships and family connections. 6.Strengthen love with spouse/partner and children. 7.Make amends for mistreatment of others in our past or even present. 8.Share the lessons learned in life. 9.Focus on what one remembers rather than what one forgets. Also remember a 20 or 30 year old has far less to remember than a 50-90 year old. 10.Develop one’s spiritual outlook and direction. 11.Do good and make the world better before you leave it. 12.Focus on what you can do rather than what you cannot. 13.Carpe diem—Seize the day and enjoy it. 14.With gusto,look forward to the future!