June 6, 2026- Too many people live a life where everything is competitive. They see every event and situation
as a win-lose or zero-sum situation with a winner and a loser. Having a clear winner may be
reasonable in sporting events and even fair competition for a specific job where skills and
talents are evaluated in the decision process. If we exclude those kinds of situations, most
situations we encounter in life are best dealt with from a win-win perspective. This means the
goal of negotiating or bargaining is that each person gains some of what they desire to the level
of being satisfied. There is not a winner and a loser, but two winners. This requires maturity and
a desire to negotiate fairly with a goal of everyone being satisfied. In such a situation, both
persons are willing to give up something to get something in return. The end result is both have
a level of satisfaction and future negotiating will be much easier to occur. A positive mental
health outcome is that persons who want to live in a world of win-win interactions with people
are usually better liked by others and are comfortable with themselves. For clarification, we are
not talking about people who just give in and often have anger and resulting anxiety and
depression because they do not get what they desire in life. No, we are talking about well
balanced persons who try to be team players in interactions with others. Examples of win-win
situations would be equally sharing duties in a household, further education for employees that
gives them incentive to stay with the company in spite of a risk of them leaving and makes them
more valuable employees, dividing a business territory where each will offer services and not
attempt to knock out the other one, fairly sharing expenses in all endeavors, determining not to
dominate conversations and use active listening for fair and better communication, sharing work
fairly in the workplace with fellow employees, and dividing up responsibilities fairly between
owners of a company…General outcomes of win-win interactions would be that everyone has
some success and is a winner, no one feels overwhelmed or treated unfairly by someone,
relationships are much better, success is shared, opportunities for further advancement for all
often occurs through the outcomes of win-win interactions, and better mental health for persons
who do not have the desire to dominate and control others with a zero-sum outlook on life. With
this said, we also must accept and be aware that persons with the best intentions can
sometimes not come up with a win-win situation and need to indicate this and move forward
from their disagreement. This is hopefully done in good faith with a willingness to meet again if
there becomes a possibility of obtaining a win-win situation for each person.

June 2, 2026- In a nation where half of those who get married or remarried have a strong chance of divorcing, it certainly makes a lot of sense to make sure you are ready when you get married. A further negative outcome of ill advised marriages that end in divorce that is often not considered is the impact of divorce on children. It is not talked about enough, but the well documented negative results of divorce on children that include educational attainment, educational achievement, parental estrangement, economic home strength, anger and psychological issues, identity confusion, socialization issues and low self-esteem need to be taken into account when divorce is considered. From someone who has worked with married couples and individuals getting divorced over the years, a common reason divorced persons or unhappily married persons have given me when asked why they married said they were not thinking clearly about the decision. This is actually shocking when one considers how important marriage is, and how often people will spend weeks debating what type of a car or appliance to buy before they buy it, but will get married and quite possibly have children, when clearly the odds of the marriage failing are far greater.
They people do all the appropriate planning and thinking prior to getting married. Common reasons persons give for having gotten married that they now know were not good reasons would include believing they were too invested in the relationship to not marry even when loaded with doubts, too young and immature, under extreme pressure from outside persons and family to marry, educational differences, life goals, spending priorities, child rearing, spiritual differences, deciding to go contrary to what friends and family who advised them not to get married, feeling short term intense shallow love that seemed unbreakable, physical attraction that was extreme, no real knowledge of each other, rebounding from a divorce or horrible breakup, unrealistic expectations, fears of being alone, choosing to be married when not being married seems worse, and financial need and support. A simple point here is that prior to getting married, couples need to get to know each other very well and determine what the expectations for the marriage and their future include. To not do this is to greatly increase the possibility of unhappiness and divorce.

May 26, 2026
I personally have worked with and evaluated many persons with ADHD over the decades where the characteristics they exhibit in the workplace negatively impact their ability to effectively fulfill their job requirements. This is true with many persons who are working in areas they personally love and went through extensive training to be able to do. It is not a lack of ability or desire. Before I identify characteristics that persons exhibit that have ADHD, it is important we not include in this group persons who by choice do not work to their ability and do not try to function to their highest level and as a result, find themselves having problems in the workplace. No, we are talking about persons who have ADHD and are having problems in the workplace because of it, but have not been diagnosed. As a result, they have received no medical or mental health suggestions for overcoming it. Persons with ADHD have some combination of the characteristics of lack of focus, inattention, impulsivity, hyperactivity, and procrastination. When undiagnosed and untreated, the impact can be devastating in the workplace. Characteristics of ADHD that negatively impact the person in the workplace would include poor focus on required activities, time blindness/losing track of time, inability to focus on tasks, high error rate due to lack of focus and inattention, joblessness over time due to poor work performance, a poor team member on projects that require team effort to complete them, poor productivity, stress related work absences, stigma of having the ADHD label, mind travel from one thought to another when paying attention is critical, procrastination, problems with organizing activities, problems with prioritizing activities, distractibility, impulsivity, and poor memory. It is important to remember that no one has all of these characteristics, but even a few of them can cause you problems in doing effective work in the workplace. If you feel you have any of these characteristics and they are
negatively impacting you in your job performance, then I would suggest you seek out an ADHD evaluation by a psychologist and receive appropriate medication and mental health recommendations consistent with your specific needs. A trained therapist in ADHD and the resulting potential negative impact in the workplace could be helpful. The first step is to
determine if you do have ADHD, and if so, what can be done to best help you overcome the characteristics if they are negatively impacting you in the workplace.