Chronic procrastination is the type of procrastination that a person constantly has and leads to
them not completing activities they desire or are mandated by work or other life responsibilities.
Chronic procrastination can be so devastating to the person that it can ruin and even end
relationships and can make work advancement and even keeping a job impossible. It is actually
amazing how many persons who have this condition do not overcome it. It is not unusual for
therapists to work with persons in their 40s and 50s and even older who have not learned how
to overcome chronic procrastination even if it has had major negative effects on all aspects of
their lives. Even though procrastination is a problem that most persons have at times, the
person with chronic procrastination has it all the time. Reasons for it would include
anxiety,depression,perfectionism,low self esteem, fear of failure, lack of discipline, psychological relief from not having the burden of doing something, laziness,
rebellion against others, or self-destructive behaviors that can lead to problems in all aspects of
their lives. As I have previously stated before, chronic procrastination is also a major hallmark of
ADHD. Following are ways to overcome chronic procrastination: 1. Accept you have a problem
that needs to be resolved. 2. Believe you can overcome chronic procrastination. 3. Set up a plan
to do it. 4. Set up daily goals of what you plan to complete and work at them on the priority of
importance. 5. Keep track of your list of daily activities to complete and cross them off as you
complete them. 6. Make sure you do not go off track by regularly looking at your list of daily
activities and crossing them off as completed. 7. Enlist the support of a family member or friend
to help keep you on track if you find you lose track of time and even have what could be called
time blindness. 8. Break down complex required activities into smaller parts and work at each
one individually rather than getting overwhelmed by a large task that for one reason or another
you are not doing. 9. Begin with the hardest or easiest part of a long project depending on which
one will help motivate you the most to complete the activity. 10. You may seek out a trained
therapist in procrastination to help you if you find regardless of how hard you try, you are not
able to overcome chronic procrastination. It is not a form of weakness to admit a problem is too
much for you to overcome on your own. It is a sign of strength.

November 19, 2024- While it is true that many persons are happy and relieved to be divorced when the love and caring have ended with their spouse or partner. With that said, often forgotten in the equation are the children and their future relationships not only with both parents but with important and loved family members. Divorced parents need to never forget they divorced each other but the children have not divorced anyone and want a loving relationship with all family members. Partners who put the needs of their children ahead of themselves work together to make sure the children are able to have good loving relationships with both sets of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and other extended members of the family. Partners that do not do this too often do it out of anger at the ex, and use it as a form of punishment for them. When this occurs, the feelings and any trauma and sadness the children are experiencing due to the divorce is not being considered, and that is very inappropriate. In a divorce, part of the process needs to be not just how to settle their legal affairs but also what will happen to the children. The following are things couples need to do to best help the children adapt to the divorce and allow all family members the opportunity to give love and receive love from the children: 1. Accept your marriage did not work and is going to end. 2. Make every effort to try to at least get along with each other for the sake of the children. This may initially be very difficult, at least during the initial period of the divorce because of raw nerves and possible feelings of abandonment, betrayal and poor treatment. 3. Even if you have these bad feelings, it is important to try to get over them to the level you realize your children belong to both of you and it is best that they have loving and caring relatives that are available and desire to have a good relationship with them. 4. What is mentally healthy interaction with the two families needs to be worked out with appropriate rules and boundaries that are set up and everyone agrees. 5.I firmly believe each parent in the divorce needs to do all they can do to make the children’s lives be as stable as possible. This is certainly helped by allowing them to have all the love, affection and caring they can have from grandparents and other members of the extended family. 6. If the two of you find your anger and hurt are so strong you cannot effectively interact with each other and reset interactions your children have with your ex- partners’ family members, this is a time to recognize this is inappropriate behavior. 7. Seek the support of a therapist experienced in divorce and the aftermath trauma and anger who can help find ways to allow healthy interactions with the family members of the ex-spouse could be very helpful to both you and your children…The ability of children of divorce to have good relationships with families of both spouses is clearly a major area of concern in divorces that too often is not discussed before and after divorce or relationship breakup. For emphasis, we need to make sure our children have the opportunity to interact with all family members with the goal of having them be able to love who they choose to love and be loved by important family people in their lives.

November 12, 2024- I think most of us really desire to be a likable person. From a survival point of view, humans have always needed to be likable to get along with each other and build relationships in order to survive emotionally and sometimes physically. This is still true whether it be a social group, a family, the military, a business or whatever group there is that requires teamwork. Teams do not work well when the members do not see each other as likable. One could strongly argue that in order to have any short or long-term relationship, there needs to be a beginning where there is a feeling of likability between the persons. One need not be a psychologist to be aware of how far happier and successful one will be with interactions and relationships based on being likable. People who are not likable may get to accept it, but generally deep down do not like this but too often cannot seem to figure how to make themselves more likable. In fact, they can become less likable by being upset that others do not like them and let them know it . Because self-esteem is closely related to how others see us, being likable is very important to how we see ourselves and something we should try to develop. The following are traits that relate to being likable. I am not saying one needs all of these traits to be likable, but certainly one needs some of them: 1. A simple smile whenever you meet someone. 2. Listen and pay attention when interacting . 3. Authentic and not fake. 4. Admit when you make mistakes. 5. Tolerant and understanding of persons. 6. Respect for others and their views. 7. Not act as a “know it all.” 8. Remember the person by name. 9. Be honest. 10. A sense of humor. 11. Respectful 12. An accepting body language 13. Human touch as appropriate. 14. Turn off the phone. 15. Make eye contact. 16. Mirror body language.