Self Help Blog - Regional Psychological Services

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 discuss HOW TO BE LIKABLE- Subscribe to our YouTube page!

November 12, 2024- I think most of us really desire to be a likable person. From a survival point of view, humans have always needed to be likable to get along with each other and build relationships in order to survive emotionally and sometimes physically. This is still true whether it be a social group, a family, the military, a business or whatever group there is that requires teamwork. Teams do not work well when the members do not see each other as likable. One could strongly argue that in order to have any short or long-term relationship, there needs to be a beginning where there is a feeling of likability between the persons. One need not be a psychologist to be aware of how far happier and successful one will be with interactions and relationships based on being likable. People who are not likable may get to accept it, but generally deep down do not like this but too often cannot seem to figure how to make themselves more likable. In fact, they can become less likable by being upset that others do not like them and let them know it . Because self-esteem is closely related to how others see us, being likable is very important to how we see ourselves and something we should try to develop. The following are traits that relate to being likable. I am not saying one needs all of these traits to be likable, but certainly one needs some of them: 1. A simple smile whenever you meet someone. 2. Listen and pay attention when interacting . 3. Authentic and not fake. 4. Admit when you make mistakes. 5. Tolerant and understanding of persons. 6. Respect for others and their views. 7. Not act as a “know it all.” 8. Remember the person by name. 9. Be honest. 10. A sense of humor. 11. Respectful 12. An accepting body language 13. Human touch as appropriate. 14. Turn off the phone. 15. Make eye contact. 16. Mirror body language.

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Dr Braccio Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss THE OVERTHINKING DILEMMA

October 29, 2024- It is difficult enough making good decisions in life, even with the best of information available. The dilemma of overthinking is that one is constantly living with problems in decision-making whether they are past decisions or those we are going to make in present and then future decisions that will need to be made. A further problem is they tend to be negative. This can result in such mental health conditions as anxiety, depression, PTSD, OCD and panic attacks. This is not to say that everyone has all these conditions, but they are often present with persons who have problems making decisions or looking at what they have done or the possible consequences of decisions in the present or future. Add on top of this that persons who overthink often tend to be negatively evaluating the whole process of decision-making to the point that they end up with mental health issues. This trend to see decision-making in a negative light often leads to an inability to make decisions, which of course, then brings on the mental health issues.This endless loop on decision-making can be overwhelming for persons. Let us make sure that we are not confusing doing the groundwork necessary to make good decisions but rather overthinking decisions in a way that they are never made or will be simply reviewed negatively from the past. I might add as a longtime psychologist, this is a more common problem than one might think. It also is true that most of us if we honestly look at ourselves or analyze persons we know in family or outside of it, we can see overthinking is often present. The following are some remedies to deal with the problem of overthinking: 1. Accept decisions you have made in the past and let them go. One cannot could have, might have, ought to have or should have done anything differently than they did. 2. Realistically look at the options one has, make a decision and live with it. 3. Accept you may have made bad decisions and may continue to make them. The point is to try to make good decisions and learn from any bad decisions we have made. 4. Replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts when dealing with the inability to make decisions. When a thought comes into your mind that you cannot make a decision, you need to tell yourself yes you can make a good decision based on the best information available to you. This is obviously easier said than done, but needs to be worked on a little bit at a time. 5. If you find you cannot solve this problem of not being able to make a decision and it is causing you mental health distress, now is the time to seek out an experienced therapist who can help you overcome this problem.

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Dr. Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHEN IT IS RIGHT TO FEEL BAD ABOUT YOUR BEHAVIORS

October 22, 2024-

When it is right to feel bad about your behaviors

For those of you who know me or have followed my podcasts and writings over the years, you will know I strongly am opposed to persons having inappropriate guilt in the sense that it totally destroys a person’s ability to live effectively in the present, and thus there is no future. On the other hand, I strongly believe that if a person has behaved poorly to someone or a group, then it is the right thing to have legitimate

guilt, to accept responsibility, feel badly and make amends as best we can. If someone has done wrong, then feeling bad is appropriate. In this age of of what I call “feel gooditis”,people too often do not want to accept responsibility and would prefer to just overlook inappropriate behaviors,minimize them and let them go. It is important to deal with our feelings after we recognize that we behaved inappropriately and work this out in our mind that we are not going to do it again. it is often overlooked that when we do something inappropriate that we ought to feel bad about it and even more important than that, we must try to resolve the problem and let the person or group know we feel bad about what we did. it also is very important to not endlessly ruminate about these behaviors and cause ongoing negative guilt and even depression and poor self-esteem. The purpose is not to allow our inner critic to beat us up every day and ruin it. No,the goal is to honestly reflect on our inappropriate behaviors and try to understand why we did them and determine to not do them again. Obvious examples would be hurting someone’s feelings, lying , stealing, cheating others, slandering persons and their reputations, being dishonest and dishonorable in a relationship, putting people down with the goal of helping yourself or making yourself feel more powerful, and slowing down the progress of others for fear they will compete with us or we enjoy them in a subservient position. Something important not to overlook when we try to make things right is not to end up gaslighting the person and not being totally honest about how inappropriate our behaviors were when admitting that our intentions were not good. To be honest with yourself and the other person is critical to our making changes to self as we improve our character. It also is true that we may have hurt someone inappropriately but had no intention of doing it. Then it is worthwhile to indicate we feel bad for what happened, but had no intentions of doing it. When we do this, we do run the risk of the person not being willing to accept our honest apology. That is a risk we must take and something that needs to be done to in effect right the ship of our sense of right and wrong. Advice succinctly stated would be when making right when we have behaved inappropriately would include accepting the behavior was inappropriate,having appropriate guilt, determining not to do it again and making amends for what was done as best as possible. This is how to deal with appropriate guilt.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO HELP YOUR DEPENDENT ADULT CHILD

October 15, 2024-

HOW TO HELP YOUR DEPENDENT ADULT CHILD

One of the most difficult things for an adult parent to do is to separate themselves from requests from adult children that are harmful to both. Good parents never quit loving their children, regardless of their age. Problems occur when parents, regardless of the reason, find themselves helping out their adult children in a never-ending stream of needs ranging from financial to overwhelming emotional. To help out a child in a difficult financial or emotional relationship situation is what good parents do. When the help leads to dependency on the part of the children on their parents, then something needs to change or it will be a never-ending dependent relationship where the child will not be launched into life with its necessary responsibilities, but rather will be living off of their parents as if they are still young dependent children. This is even more essential if the relationship has never evolved from a dependent child into an adult adult relationship. If you find yourself in such a situation, the following are things to do to return your relationship to hopefully one of two loving independent family adults sharing a loving lifelong family relationship: 1. Determine if you honestly enjoy the dependency and find it hard to say no because it makes you feel better about yourself. 2. Determine what would be reasonable boundaries to help yourself be more responsible as a loving family member, and at the same time helping your child be a responsible adult. 3. Make sure you do not allow your dependent child to use emotional blackmail in the sense that if you do not help them, you will be letting them down as if you were still responsible as a parent for them and they may even indicate you may not be able to see the grandchildren or them if you do not help them get what they want. It is critical not to allow this to happen to you. 4. If your children are financially dependent on you, you need to set up a timeline when you are going to have them be responsible for themselves. A crisis will eventually occur when you stop the funding unless they begin to take responsibility for their own financial needs. 5. If your child is emotionally dependent on you and wearing you out emotionally ,you need to give advice when it is asked, but not become emotionally distraught yourself as you inappropriately take on the emotional burdens of your children. 6. Accept you must stick to the boundaries you have set and recognize that you must stop the process in order to have any lasting change. 7. If you are not able to implement the boundaries that you need to have in order to set your child free to become an independent person, then you can consider bringing in family, friends or an experienced therapist in such matters to help you in the process…This is going to be a very difficult situation for you to change. Oftentimes, this codependency has been in place for many years and may have always been in place since your children became adults. Whatever the situation, the time to change the relationship into a healthy one is now. You both need it.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY RENEWING OLD FRIENDSHIPS IS A GOOD IDEA

10-09-2024- I believe renewing old friendships is always a good idea. This is particularly true in an age when so many persons feel isolated and do not have enough human contact and non-human electronic communication is often the major means of communication they have. It also is true we live in an aging population time with constant geographical change that results in persons either losing friends due to death or not living near them and losing contact. I believe renewing old friendships is also helpful even if you do have a loving partner, family and friends. Too often persons become too insulated and judgmental in their life outlook by only being around persons who think like them and a broader perspective can be helpful. It also is true that in spite of the tremendous amounts of information available, persons often tend to filter so much available information in a way to only reinforce their views. This is not necessarily a negative thing in itself, but if we want to be as well rounded as we can be, it is always useful to have insights and ideas from other persons different from our own. My wife and I recently have been making contact with friends we knew many years ago, and even have had a chance to meet with many of them in Miami and Michigan. This past weekend I talked to someone I had not seen for decades at a party about fond memories I have of his mother who died over thirty-five years ago. He was very happy to hear my memories. The following are specific advantages of renewing old friendships and keeping the contact current and alive: 1. A big advantage of the electronic age is that it does allow us to talk and see each other, regardless of where in the world we live. 2. It is always helpful for one’s memory to be in contact with friends from the past and relive old memories. 3. If someone were a friend of yours somewhere in your voyage of life, then keeping that friendship alive enriches both of your lives. 4. You will be surprised at how happy most people will be to hear from you and you may hear compliments from them that you made contact and added some brightness to their lives. 5. You may gain some insights on how to look at life through the prism of someone living a very different life. This is true even if your current views on life are very different but both are honorable. 6. As people age or periodically move geographically, their circle of friends often decreases, 7. It is easier to continue long time friendships than go through the long term process of developing new ones…If we are maintaining contact with old friends and have them continue as current friends, the odds are far better we will not end up isolated or so narrow in our views that we run the risk of having trouble having friends or being friends with anyone.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO GET YOUR MOTIVATION BACK

September 30, 2024-

HOW TO GET YOUR MOTIVATION BACK

Motivation is that quality that drives us to satisfy needs that we have and to achieve goals we set to have our dreams come true. It can be intrinsic or extrinsic. A person usually has some combination of both. Intrinsic motivation is that something within us that leads us to want to achieve something,to reach a goal such as learning a trade, graduating from high school/college, finding a lifelong partner to meet our intrinsic needs to love and be loved,meeting a sales goal or simply finding things to make a person happy. Extrinsic motivation comes from outside of us. It usually has some connection to desiring something. It could include financial like a bonus or higher pay, and/or more authority/responsibility,more education/training or receiving praise and/or encouragement from someone we desire it from. The list of possibilities is huge. The combination is what would be what is required to be motivated in life. When our motivation is lacking in either or both of these areas, it can lead to lack of satisfaction in life and health conditions such as headaches, anxiety or depression. It also is true that mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression or physical ailments can lead to a person not having the energy,ability or positive approach to life that is needed in order to be motivated to complete desired activities. The following are things someone can do to try to get their motivation back: 1.Taking an honest look at yourself and determining why you have lost your motivation. 2. Determine what you desire to achieve and what is possible. 3. Seek inspiration from others who once lacked motivation, but came back to be motivated and successful. 4. Determine if anxiety and depression are the cause of your lack of motivation and seek out the psychological and medical support you may need to overcome them. 5. Determine if physical ailments are impacting your motivation and ability to meet goals. 6. Determine if some combination of poor diet, too much caffeine or alcohol, lack of exercise and not enough sleep negatively impact your ability to be motivated. 7. Determine if you are burned out,stressed out or overwhelmed so you are not able to function. 8. Ask for help and insight from professionals and/or those you respect and look up to. 8. Reassess your goals realistically and determine what can be done to best help you get your motivation back. 9. Do self-care and determine that you deserve to be loved by yourself and others. 10. Set goals that are rewarding, specific and reasonable…After you’ve done this, start moving forward and taking control of your life. Lack of motivation hits most people at one time or another. It is important for perspective that you realize you are not alone losing motivation. No, millions of people have lost motivation but overcome it and have been able to get back on the right track. The important thing to remember is that you can do it and each day is the beginning of the rest of your life. Now is the time to be as motivated as you can to seek out realistic goals to make your dreams come true. .

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY HELICOPTER PARENTING CAN HARM YOUR CHILD EMOTIONALLY

September 24, 2024- Briefly defined, Helicopter Parenting is when a parent becomes overprotective and involved in every aspect of their child’s life. My point is not that being involved with your child and trying to make sure they can be as successful as possible both emotionally and physically is bad. No,to the contrary,that is what good parenting is all about. The problem is that Helicopter Parenting does not allow children to grow and develop their own personalities dealing with the ups and downs that life throws at each of us. Effective parents have guard rails to make sure their child does not stray into dangerous and inappropriate activities for their age. They function as loving advisors who help them through difficult situations but do not take over for them. Sadly,even when with the best of loving intentions,Helicopter Parents can negatively develop dependency,low self esteem,anxiety,depression and poor interpersonal communication skills in the children they love so dearly and do not want to be hurt emotionally or physically. Typical behaviors of Helicopter Parents would include the following: 1. Completing homework assignments and projects. 2. Calling the school and other parents over minor problems their children are having and putting all the blame on others. 3. Micromanaging all aspects of the lives of their children. 4. Excessive control. 5. Demand for total acquiescence/obedience. 6. Involvement in even minor activities like what flavor of ice cream to eat. 7. Total control of friendships. 8.Will not allow different thoughts and opinions from their own. 9. Will not allow a child to flourish as a free thinking person. 10. Excessive social media tracking. 11. Excessive anxiety and fear that something terrible will happen to their children even if as unlikely as a plane falling out of the sky and killing them. 12. Trying to not allow their children to make mistakes. 13. Little or no insight into the inappropriateness of their behaviors and the emotional harm they can cause their children.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO GAIN PERSPECTIVE IN YOUR LIFE

September 17, 2024- Having perspective on life as we live it is critical for our happiness. Many persons are overwhelmed with life as it occurs and never feel in control as they see it coming at them in a hundred different directions at a hundred miles an hour. The result is they cannot keep pace with their lives which produces anxiety and often depression. Simply defined, perspective is a way to look at your life to be able to cope with it and recognize our attitude has a lot to do with the level of happiness we will experience in our one time trip through it. We must learn how to deal with what life dishes up and cope with it to be as happy as possible. A person with a strong sense of spirituality often has perspective from the fact they realize they are leading a life that will end with eternity if their behaviors are consistent with their beliefs. For example, a Christian who believes in Christ has a roadmap to joyous eternity. Other religions offer similar beliefs. Secular humanists gain perspective by trying to figure out why they are on earth and what is their purpose. Many have the perspective that their purpose is to make the world a better place than the one they came into. Others gain perspective from failure.They are able to use it as a starting point and not an ending point for how their lives will proceed. As I have often stated before, great success can only be achieved when one has learned from failure how to be successful. Perspective also can be gained from the loss of loved ones who we had counted on during our lives. This would include parents, grandparents, mentors, or friends we have fortunately encountered along the road of life. Perspective can also come when we have gratitude for the period we had to share with these persons as we try to live consistent with the advice they gave us when they were alive and with us. Perspective can also be gained when a person tries in their mind to understand what advice these deceased significant persons would be giving them now with the problems and struggles in life that occur as they walk their road of life. Gratitude also gives perspective when one realizes how other persons have harder lives but live their lives with a positive attitude. When all is said and done,one’s perspective on life has much to do with whether a person will have a happy or unhappy life. Choosing a happy life is my advice!

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW CAN AGE BRING MORE JOY AND SATISFACTION

September 10, 2024- Many people see aging as negative and something that will bring less satisfaction to a person. Many of these persons also believe youth is where happiness is greatest, and after that there may be satisfaction, but nothing like being young. Others believe people are either happy or unhappy, and that is how they are and will be their whole lives. Because of the differences in outlook that human beings have and their life experiences,it is really difficult to answer the question relating to whether someone older or younger is happier. For the sake of discussion, I believe there are many reasons that many persons can have tremendous satisfaction and joy living their lives as they grow older. It may not be that level of joy and happiness that comes when one is young and everything in life can be so unique,exciting,tempting,exotic and wonderful. One may even hate to go to bed when young so they cannot continue doing what gives them such pleasure during the day. The world of gaming is a current such example. I certainly remember many days like that in my youth long before gaming. With that said, it is also true that adolescence can be a very difficult time for young people with levels of joy and satisfaction greatly reduced by such things as bullying, poor achievement, poor social skills, and problematic home environments. What can bring great joy and happiness to many persons in their middle and later ages could include the following: 1. Children raised and developing their own families and lives. 2. Less financial stress that occurs when one is not attempting to buy a home, raise money for retirement, raise children and obtain things that are involved in bringing happiness to a person. 3. More satisfaction and acceptance of a job situation with retirement in sight. 4. Retirement and the ability to have far less stress in life and do things they were not able to do during the hectic periods of early marriage, financial distress, and child rearing that while exciting and even joyful, may have been very stressful. 5.Stability and love in a marriage or relationship. 5.Spending time with friends as desired in a leisurely manner. 6.Finding purpose in life as physical passions cool and the inevitable biological clock unwinds in each person’s life.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss ADOLESCENT SCHOOL MASS MURDERERS

September 6, 2024- Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss the recent school shooting in Georgia.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss THE IMPORTANCE OF APOLOGIES

September 3, 2024-

Even though most people would admit apologies are important, it also is true they often have
problems effectively giving them. Part of the problem is that people can feel like failures and
believe they will be looked upon in a negative way if they admit they have done something
inappropriate. Pride,ego and narcissism can also interfere to the point they deny they have done
anything wrong and play the victim by strongly claiming victimhood when they clearly had the
choice not to offend the person. This is very common. Defensiveness can also result in not
wanting to admit wrongdoing. Others blame third persons for their bad behavior which negates
their own responsibility. My advice is to simply look at the facts and see if what occurred was
inappropriate on your part and if there is a way you could have stopped it from occurring. If the
answer is yes to both of these, then an apology certainly seems like an appropriate thing to
do.The following are the elements of an effective apology: 1.Acknowledgment to yourself you
did wrong. 2.Accept you purposefully or inadvertently offended another person. 3.Clearly define
it exactly for what it is. 4.Say you are sorry for what you did to the person in unequivocal words
and a promise to not do it again. 5.Accept the offended person may not readily accept your
apology and may even react with angry or hurt feelings.

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Dr Braccio & Rich Herl of 1320 AM discuss WE ALL NEED TO PRACTICE PATIENCE

August 27, 2024-

WE ALL NEED TO PRACTICE PATIENCE

I think it is safe to say most people believe patience is a virtue and something that can be helpful to them. With that said, it is also true that many of them and those who do not adhere to this belief often make poorly thought out decisions which can lead to problems in their business, financial, personal, family, and intimate relationships. Spending necessary time is often required to make important decisions. This is also true with persons who try to take shortcuts and end up not mastering skills necessary to be successful in life. I have always thought a good quotation on patience is when Samuel Johnson said, “Great works are not by strength, but by perseverance”. Or Saint Augustine who said, “Patience is the companion of wisdom”. Perseverance is the fruit of patience. While there is much truth in the adage,”The person who hesitates is lost”, it must be tempered by the adage,”Look before you leap”. I do not want you to confuse my statement about the need for patience as supporting paralysis of thought or not making important decisions at the correct time to make them. No, my point is that patience is very important in a person’s life to make sure they are being as effective as they can be. The following are advantages that result from patience: 1. Develop persistence and perseverance. 2. Spending the necessary time to learn skills ranging from swinging a baseball bat to successfully completing complex mathematical equations. 3. Listen better to people to fully understand what they mean to say. 4. Make decisions based on rational thinking. 5. Eliminate “seat of the pants” decisions that can lead to destructive financial, professional or personal decisions. 6. Be able to develop and accomplish long-term goals in life that are critical to the accomplishments one needs in life. 7. Develop effective personal relationships ranging from acquaintances to a lifelong loving partner. 8. Help better manage anger and frustration. 9. Take a view of the whole picture rather than making a bad decision without having all the facts needed to make a good one. 10. Learn to practice self control. 11. Patience is not an enemy of good decision-making, but an ally in making the right ones. 12. Your patience will help make other people be more comfortable around you.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss CONTROL YOUR TO DO LIST BEFORE IT CONTROLS YOU

August 20, 2024- We live at a time when “to do” lists are very popular and often critical to a person’s self-esteem. People often talk about the importance of having a “ to do” list in order to set priorities in their lives. The problem is, the list can overwhelm the individual as it keeps getting longer and never seems to get finished. It is not just procrastinators who become overwhelmed with “to do” lists. No, it is anyone who tries to do so many things that they cannot hope to get them done and the end result can either be getting overwhelmed by what is not done or the situation where many things are started but not completed because new priorities go to the top of the “to do” list. Either way, the person feels lost and a failure. Perfectionists in particular can have problems with a “to do” list because they never feel anything is done right or done as well as it could be. The result can be a never completed list loaded with perceived failures. Something to remember is that computers slow down when we have too many open tabs. The brain works the same way. We tend to not focus as much on things that are completed, but focus on things that are not completed. As a result, persons can spend countless hours focusing on what they are not getting done in their “to do” list and not realizing they may actually be doing fine. Most people, if they are really being honest, will admit they have spent many hours not sleeping thinking about things they have not completed that they feel need to be done or many hours at all times of a given day focusing on things that are not completed. My point here is not for you to not have a “to do” list. On the contrary, it can be very helpful to set priorities and get things done that need to be completed. The problem is if the “to do” list keeps getting bigger and the activities that have not been completed on the list begin to overwhelm the person‘s brain. Ways to not get overwhelmed with a “to do” list and have it be effective for you would include the following: 1. Determine the night before what priorities you have and what you feel needs to be done the next day. 2. On a daily basis, take a look at your “to do” list, and cross off all things that are not that important at this time and only focus on those things that can reasonably get done on a short or long-term basis. 3. Complete the most important activities on your “to do” list. 4. Do not focus on what you have not completed or things further down the list that you may or may not get done based on needs of the time…These may seem like easy things to do, but they are obviously not for many persons. One need not be a psychologist to meet persons overwhelmed by their “to do” list. No, they are all around us. Now is the time to take control of your life and use your “to do” list in a reasonable way to make you more effective as you meet priorities and do not get overwhelmed with non-priority tasks.

Aug 14, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, bipolar, breakups, communication in relationships, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss CONTROL YOUR TO DO LIST BEFORE IT CONTROLS YOU

August 13, 2024- We live at a time when “to do” lists are very popular and often critical to a person’s self-esteem. People often talk about the importance of having a “ to do” list in order to set priorities in their lives. The problem is, the list can overwhelm the individual as it keeps getting longer and never seems to get finished. It is not just procrastinators who become overwhelmed with “to do” lists. No, it is anyone who tries to do so many things that they cannot hope to get them done and the end result can either be getting overwhelmed by what is not done or the situation where many things are started but not completed because new priorities go to the top of the “to do” list. Either way, the person feels lost and a failure. Perfectionists in particular can have problems with a “to do” list because they never feel anything is done right or done as well as it could be. The result can be a never completed list loaded with perceived failures. Something to remember is that computers slow down when we have too many open tabs. The brain works the same way. We tend to not focus as much on things that are completed, but focus on things that are not completed. As a result, persons can spend countless hours focusing on what they are not getting done in their “to do” list and not realizing they may actually be doing fine. Most people, if they are really being honest, will admit they have spent many hours not sleeping thinking about things they have not completed that they feel need to be done or many hours at all times of a given day focusing on things that are not completed. My point here is not for you to not have a “to do” list. On the contrary, it can be very helpful to set priorities and get things done that need to be completed. The problem is if the “to do” list keeps getting bigger and the activities that have not been completed on the list begin to overwhelm the person‘s brain. Ways to not get overwhelmed with a “to do” list and have it be effective for you would include the following: 1. Determine the night before what priorities you have and what you feel needs to be done the next day. 2. On a daily basis, take a look at your “to do” list, and cross off all things that are not that important at this time and only focus on those things that can reasonably get done on a short or long-term basis. 3. Complete the most important activities on your “to do” list. 4. Do not focus on what you have not completed or things further down the list that you may or may not get done based on needs of the time…These may seem like easy things to do, but they are obviously not for many persons. One need not be a psychologist to meet persons overwhelmed by their “to do” list. No, they are all around us. Now is the time to take control of your life and use your “to do” list in a reasonable way to make you more effective as you meet priorities and do not get overwhelmed with non-priority tasks.

Aug 7, 2024 braccioj Blog add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, breakups, communication in relationships, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcissist, persuasion, procrastination, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Rich Herl of 1320 AM discuss ADHD AND PROCRASTINATION SEGNMENT

August 6, 2024- The hallmarks of ADHD are lack of focus, inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity. Often comorbid with the condition is procrastination. It is a reasonable outcome if you consider that persons with ADHD have problems dealing with projects and activities they have little interest and the result can be procrastination. This is particularly true with long and multistep projects and activities. Ambiguity of any type can also lead to confusion and difficulty on how to complete a required task. Procrastination is often a way to deal with the anxiety and worry that can result from this ambiguity or uncertainty of how to attack what is often a major activity. The result can be problems meeting responsibilities that are required in a person‘s life. If one cannot complete required activities in their personal and working lives, the result can be poor work performance and problems in personal relationships. The common result in persons with ADHD is that they procrastinate too often and wait until the last minute to complete things. This becomes to them a normal pattern in their lives. They often will even say they cannot work on long and difficult projects until the very last minute and then they can work for many hours because they are highly motivated to complete the activity out of necessity. The problem with this is that responsibilities are often not met because there is not enough time to complete the task or the work that is done is shabby and does not meet the requirements of the activity. Persons who do not have problems with lack of focus, inattention and procrastination often believe the person with these traits just needs to work a little harder, be more responsible and just do what is required. While it is true a person must try to do this to be successful in their lives, it is also true this can be exceptionally difficult to do if one has the hallmarks of ADHD. Even though there are persons who can be helped with a medication such as Adderall or other medications ,there are still things persons must do with or without medication to fight procrastination.These would include the following: 1. Set limits on what you will and will not do so you do not get overwhelmed. 2. Breakdown difficult and multistep activities into smaller ones to make the task less intimidating. 3.Plan timed breaks to keep fresh and not procrastrate and be off to do other things. 4. Place yourself physically whenever possible in an area away from the noise and distractions that occur in everyday life and not give yourself an environment to drift off into other activities. 5.Set specific and reasonable expectations for yourself. 6. Identify triggers that lead to procrastination and replace them with ones that keep you on task. 7. Choose 3-5 things to do each day and reward yourself when you complete them.

Jul 30, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, bipolar, breakups, communication in relationships, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcisism, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss NON-SEVERE MANIA AND HYPOMANIA- subscribe to our YouTube page!

7-30-2024- Mania is a condition where a person has abnormally elevated mood, behaviors and emotions way beyond what would be normal for the person. Energy levels, both psychologically and physically, are erratically different from the average behavior of the person. These conditions are noticed by the person and others who interact with them. When coupled with severe depression,the person has bipolar disorder. It can be a very serious condition that can lead to dangerous and risky behaviors that can result in a person being hospitalized and even having delusions and hallucinations. For our purposes today, we are only talking about less severe mania and a mania of a lesser degree,hypomania, which can generally be controlled and not lead to a level of mania that one can be hospitalized or do extremely risky behaviors. With that said, even hypomania can be a very difficult thing for a person to cope with. Persons can all of a sudden in a euphoric state see themselves having great unique ideas about what they can do but in reality have no possibility of achieving. Nevertheless ,they completely believe they can and will spend countless hours trying to prove it. When this happens, a person can go days with little or no sleep, do rapid talking and thinking, and cannot get thoughts out except often in the form of long diatribes about what is on their mind. They can think they have super thinking during this period. This can lead to issues at work, in relationships and just being able to lead some semblance of a normal life. Treatment can include some appropriate medication and psychological treatment. Manic episodes can last for different periods of time. Some can be very brief or can go on for weeks and even months. If you are having these problems, then seeking out expert medical and psychological staff would be the most likely choice to make if you wanted to overcome them. Medical staff with medicine and a therapist to offer treatment such as cognitive behavioral therapy or rational emotive behavior therapy with cognitive restructuring to help move the person away from the thought patterns and behaviors leading to the mania that is occurring. The main thing to know is that mania or hypomania can be difficult to have and overcomep. The important thing is to be aware of the problem, seek out professional medical and psychological support along with interactions with trusted friends and yourself to talk yourself out of this manic state you are in and try to get back to leading a normal life. Eliminating loud noises, alcohol. active activities and loud music while trying to live with consistent bedtimes , consistent times you get up ,soothing music and strategies to kick these thoughts out and replace them with more normal and rational thoughts and behaviors that are typical of your personality and who you really are is what is needed.

Jul 24, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, breakups, communication in relationships, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcisism, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 discuss WHY FRIENDSHIPS ARE OFTEN MORE IMPORTANT THAN FAMILY

July 23, 2024- We live in an age of great mobility. This leads to the circumstances that families are often far removed from each other. This is typical in a city like East Lansing with Michigan State University’s 50,000 student campus and faculty from around the country and world. Even if to a lesser extent, this is true pretty much anywhere at this time.This is a major reason friends have become more important and in many cases more important than family. It also is true we do not choose family as we do choose friends. This results in many families not getting along because the personalities of the members are so different from each other and each one develops in ways that can lead to conflicts and disagreements. As one example, sibling rivalry can lead to major later life animosity. Friendships on the other hand are with persons we have chosen to be friends due to similar outlook, living proximity, a sense of community and comradeship. The ancient Roman philosopher and orator, Cicero, stated it best when he said a true friend is another you. Friendships become even more important to persons as they grow older. There are less family members and friends around as death, retirement and persons moving to different places bring about great change. As a result, the need to maintain friendships with persons around us becomes even more important. While this seems logical, research over time does support that friends are often more important than family members in many cases. It also is true that many persons have close relationships with both family and friends. All one needs to do is talk to persons they know to determine how important friends are to them and how difficult it is emotionally for persons who do not have them. Friends can offer the following to persons that can be vital to happiness and good self-esteem in life: 1. Unconditional acceptance. 2. Honesty. 3. Emotional support. 4. Reduce loneliness. 5. Support during tough times. 6. Full opportunity to safely express emotional feelings with no restraints. 7. Self-esteem enhancement. 8. A feeling of belonging. 9. Reduce feelings of isolation. 10. Help keep a person emotionally stable.

Jul 2, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, bipolar, breakups, communication in relationships, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcisism, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin1320 AM discuss REFRAME PAST “STINKING THINKING” THAT CAUSES CURRENT DEPRESSED MOOD

July 2, 2024-Depressed mood is when a person is persistently sad, disheartened, sullen and gloomy. It is a bad place to be psychologically and one a person must try to get out of as soon as possible. Medication can also help but changing how you think is essential. It can be called “stinking thinking”. Too often the depressed mood is a result of perceived defeats or embarrassing events from the past. Because they cannot be changed, these need to be accepted and reframed as learning experiences to make the present more tolerable and allow good decisions and experiences to occur in the present to begin flooding into your mind to replace “stinking thinking” thoughts. This is easier said than done. The extent of depressed mood is self evident if one simply looks and sees various persons they know now or have known who have been depressed. They may even look in the mirror and see a person with depressed mood! We must accept negative thoughts from the past have occurred, learn from them, and move on to a happier life living in the present for a good future. Even though it can seem simplistic, a person is what they think about. What they think about will determine the mood they are in and the decisions they will make as they lead their lives. An important thought to always remember is that life is a very brief experience. It is a personal experience that only you can have. It is critical we try to use the time we have on earth to be as happy and helpful as possible. Wasting time on earth being depressed and allowing negativity from the past to control the present with depressed mood is a total loser as the past,present and future become never ending depressed mood.

Jun 26, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, breakups, communication in relationships, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcisism, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW NOT TO ARGUE WITH AN ARGUER- Subscribe to our page!

June 25, 2024- There are people we know and may even love that seem to live to argue. They are arguers. They are not necessarily bad persons at all, but they thrive on debating or challenging ideas just to cause a stir or prove they are always right and great thinkers. There are even some people we may try to stay away from in conversations just so we do not have to argue whatever might be on the menu of arguments for the day. For this discussion, we are eliminating the totally rude and offensive person who does not argue in an honorable manner but loves to make derogatory comments and simply tries to put you down to always win the argument . No, we are talking about the person who likes to argue and debate whatever it might be. They may be very pleasant people most of the time. They can be anybody, even your spouse,parent,child or sibling. The following are some suggestions on what you might do to not argue when your arguing friend, associate, family member or person you encounter in life wants to argue: 1. Try to make some neutral statement to turn the conversation away from the point of possible contention. 2. Indicate some general agreement and try to move on to something else. 3. Do not become defensive and fall prey to the arguer and start arguing. 4. Ask to delay the discussion to a later time. 5. Ask questions to hopefully not allow the arguer the opportunity to argue. 6. Stay calm and do not get emotionally upset. 7. Arguments on religion and politics are particularly wise to stay away from on most occasions.

Jun 19, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, bipolar, breakups, communication in relationships, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcisism, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss THE PAST DOES NOT DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE

June 18, 2024- We live in the world where too many persons allow their past to determine their future. The result is there can be no happiness in the present or future if a person has negative beliefs about what they can achieve now because of real or perceived failures in the past. The past is over. It is always important to remember that life on earth is a one time brief shot. It is like an extremely brief lightning strike in an ageless universe . The result is we need to utilize life as best we can. It is of limited quantity.That is done by making good decisions in the present and not allowing bad ones from the past to cloud our vision. We need to learn from previous experiences that failed or did not work out to one degree or another. We need to make sure we do not do them again and must use them as guides to help us as we navigate what often are difficult life experiences that impact all of us at one time or another. This seems simple enough;however,if each of us examines our thoughts,we must admit failures from the past do cloud our vision as we meet new challenges. Instead of an exciting new challenge in life being undertaken with gusto,the failures and perceived failures from the past can limit or even eliminate the ability to overcome the challenge it if we allow it.

Jun 13, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, bipolar, breakups, communication in relationships, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcisism, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss FREE YOURSELF FROM TOXIC PARENTS

June 11, 2024- It’s still amazes me how many adult children who have toxic parents are not aware of it. They will often complain about feeling overwhelmed by parents or feeling they can never meet their approval or that they feel that their needs come second to their parents or they feel they are always letting their parents down. Sometimes when they finally realize or are willing to admit they have toxic parents, they are somewhat in shock. They may know it, but they do not like to admit it. They have conditioned their lives to do what the toxic parent wants. Typical examples of the toxic parent would be they are narcissistic, they want control, they are critical of whatever you do, they lack boundaries, they play the victim, and you are in a situation where you can never get their approval. Because toxic parents know how to push your buttons, as they have created them over the years, it can be difficult to separate yourself from them and recognize you are not wrong when you have these feelings of never being able to satisfy a parent and having negative feelings about yourself. The things you need to do in order to free yourself from the control of the toxic parent, assuming your goal is not to sever the relationship completely but to keep it under control, would include the following: 1. Stop trying to do everything you can to make them happy. Accept you can never accomplish that. 2. Set boundaries of what you find are acceptable behaviors by your parents and enforce them. If they believe they can control you at any time of the day or night and demand you do things, now is the time to say that is not going to happen anymore. 3.Accept they are not going to change, but accept you can change. 4. Do not allow your parents to define who you are. That is your right and responsibility as an adult. 5. Your toxic parents will no longer be the judge and jury of your behaviors and what you are doing. 6. Recognize the manipulation they do and do not not allow it to occur. 7. Seeking out an experienced therapist may be helpful if you need support in altering a relationship with toxic parents… these may seem when reading them or hearing them to be simple things to do. They are not simple things to do. If they were, the person would recognize they have toxic parents and they would not allow them to control and manipulate them. Now is the time to take a look at the relationship you have with your toxic parents and determine how healthy the relationship is from an emotional perspective. If you feel it is not appropriate, and there is a major level of toxicity, now is the time to follow some of the suggestions I have mentioned and put things in a proper perspective. You are each an adult responsible for your own actions without all controlling toxic parents demanding they control yours.

Jun 4, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, bipolar, breakups, communication in relationships, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcisism, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss STOP BEING A CONTROL FREAK- Subscribe to our YouTube page!

June 4, 2024- STOP BEING A CONTROL FREAK- Even though there is no psychological diagnosis for a control freak, it is a term people understand and it is clearly used to identify persons who try to control every aspect of many if not most things in their lives. We tend to think about the havoc they cause the persons they interact with as they tend to deal them out of possible joint activities or demand they behave exactly as the control freak states. Control freaks are often the result of high-levels of anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of failure, personality disorders, perfectionism and a clear overriding desire to control all aspects of a situation. Often when experiencing interactions with the control freak trying to control all aspects of a project or even a person’s life, it can be very frustrating. It also can create great anger and either damage or destroy relationships with people. The point here is to recognize that control freaks are often not happy and desire control over activities to make up for inadequacies they do not see in themselves but falsely see in others. If you are a control freak and desire to end the unhappiness that accompanies the need for total control, the following are things you can do to overcome this type of behavior: 1. Determine why you do it. Find the reason. Is it control, reducing anxiety, fear of failure, need to dominate, perfectionism, etc.? 2. Be aware of what you were thinking and self reflect on what you are doing and saying when you go into control freak mode. 3. Be aware of those around you and accept the negative impact your controlling ways are having on them and your relationships. 4.Talk to friends, associates and family to determine how they see you and get suggestions from them on how you might become more reasonable and less controlling. They may genuinely care for you and want to help you. 5. Make it a priority to bring others into the decision making process and implementation. 6. Move forward at a pace you feel comfortable but clearly moving forward. 7. Eliminate controlling and even demeaning vocabulary from your speech. 8. You can seek out a trained and experienced therapist to help you get over your control freak ways as you feel that would be helpful.

May 28, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, bipolar, breakups, communication in relationships, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcisism, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESSES- Subscribe to our YouTube page!

May 28, 2024- Too many successful persons live their lives without the enjoyment of celebrating their successes. Too often, persons go from one activity to the next without taking a time out to enjoy what they have accomplished. They run the risk of leading what is seen as a successful life to others but not for them. They may accomplish a long term goal of maybe many years that they desired, but realize at that time they never enjoyed the road of life to get there. They then often can be very disappointed and even very depressed. Life has an expiration date and to not enjoy it as we live it is a big mistake if not a tragedy. This does not mean that one does not tend to business and is always celebrating themselves. No, the point is that in order to have good self-esteem it is necessary that one be aware of the successes they have and celebrate them. This type of self encouragement will lead to even more successes. The enjoyment that comes from the successes one has in one’s life carries over to better self esteem and more successes. Not acknowledging your successes as you have them can make for a tedious life with little enjoyment as one goes from one task to another. To just lead a life without stopping to enjoy their personal,family,friendships and work successes would be like taking a coast to coast drive from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean and not stopping to notice the beautiful natural and human made marvels along the way. Enjoying life requires one to periodically take time out from the pressures of life and congratulate self on accomplishments ranging from good friendships, successful work experiences, caring family experiences, completion of activities to something as basic as sitting down and reading a book or watching a movie. The list is as long as activities you try to do and have success. I hope this can be a wake up call to persons stuck in the drudgery of life and not enjoying their successes. This often leads to unhappy lives which can lead to less fulfilling personal, family and work experiences in general. If you feel this is you, now is the time to simply make some changes in your life. Take time outs from the successes that you have and enjoy them like you do a wonderful meal with friends and family. Even if you feel you do not have many successes in your life, if you look hard, you will find some. If you start focusing more on those successes and enjoying them, that will open the door to more successes. Let this be the first day of you more celebrating your successes and enjoying everything that will result from it in personal satisfaction. You will also find those around you will enjoy you more and enjoy your successes with you. A bonus is that you will not only be a happier person, but you will be a more enjoyable person who persons will want to spend time with.

May 22, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, bipolar, breakups, communication in relationships, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcisism, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LISTENING SKILLS

05-21-2024- Most persons you talk to would admit that listening skills are critical in successful relationships. They also would indicate many of the persons they interact with do not listen to them. The one element that is often lost is that the person agreeing to this is often not a good listener or is someone who could be a far more effective person with better relationships if they could find a way to become a better listener. The positive thing is that one can develop better listening skills by simply trying to pay better attention to persons they talk to and with intentionality respond with caring, understanding and empathy. Too often in this busy electronic based society,people have lost the skills of in person interaction that is made even worse with persons so busy leading their own lives that they have little desire to interact with others; and if so,often simply only want to talk about themselves and their areas of concern. A good way to improve your listening skills would include such basic things as making direct eye contact and showing the person verbally and with body language that you care. This means you need to take a time out from whatever you were thinking about and try to give attention to the person you are talking to. You need to let the person get out their whole message and try to understand it. If concerned you can go back and reframe what the person says to make sure you fully understand it and let them know you are paying attention and trying to understand what is being said. You show the person you care about them and what they are saying when you respond to what they are saying and give feedback. Not enough to interfere with their decision-making, but in the form of understanding and trying to help the person get out whatever they are trying to say. This may seem simple enough, but it is an area that a large percentage of persons fail. You can just randomly talk to people you know and they will tell you how hard it is to find someone they can talk to with empathy and desire to understand their feelings. We all need validation of who we are, what we think about and what is important to us. When we validate the concerns of the person, make an effort to understand what they are saying and try to be helpful as they make decisions or express feelings that are important to them, you are then better developing listening skills. This is often called active listening when a person listens intently to another person to try to fully understand what they are saying. They do not have to fully agree with what the person is saying, but are willing to totally listen to what is being said in an attempt to understand what the person is saying. They do not judgmentally enter into the discussion and often end it with statements like, “You should do this” or “Quit thinking that way”. Good listening requires a person not to squelch the opinions persons talk about but give every attempt to understand what is important to them. A complaint a person might have in hearing this is that other persons never listen to them. They can use that as an excuse not to listen to others. The important thing to remember is that successful relationships require that each person effectively listen to the other person. If each person makes every effort to try to understand the views of those we interact with, we will not only be a more empathetic and caring person, but we will have far more successful relationships with human beings which we all need to have good self-esteem and lead happy lives.

May 16, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, bipolar, breakups, communication in relationships, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcisism, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss THE DIFFICULTIES OF BIPOLAR DISORDER

May 15, 2024- Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition that causes extreme swings of mood in a person. They can be very disrupting to both them and those around them who do not understand their condition. Bipolar disorder was previously called manic depression. The emotional difficulties result from a person trying but not able to lead a normal life without any control of mood. They too often are either depressed or in an exceptionally good mood. We tend to think of persons like this as moody and not aware how difficult it can be for them to lead their lives. It is important to note everyone has shifts in mood from sad and depressed to being quite happy. Those are the normal emotional swings of a human being. It is when they become so noticeable they not only impact themselves,but also those around them. Often,people are not comfortable being with them. The manic state can be annoying to others when the person is so revved up and positive they discuss doing things that everyone knows at that time they are not capable of achieving. While that can be annoying and difficult, the sadness and depressed mood that regularly occur with bouts of depression are clearly a difficult time for them and those around them. It is important we have sympathy and understanding for persons with this condition. Could you imagine being in a situation where your mind shifts from mania or hypomania, which is not as high a level as mania, where you can be filled with energy and excitement and all of a sudden find yourself depressed, and sad and not sure when you will come out of it. Both mood swings can affect sleep levels, judgment, relationships, job security, behavior, desire, substance abuse and the ability to get things done

May 9, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, breakups, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, feelings, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcisism, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW NOT BEING LOVED AS A CHILD CAN IMPACT YOU

MAY 9, 2024- Life can be a challenge for a person who comes from a loving home. Unfortunately, for persons who come from non-loving homes, the probabilities of them suffering many characteristics that negatively impact their ability to have happy lives is greatly enhanced. I am not saying all persons who grew up in non-loving homes will be miserable and unhappy persons and cannot be highly successful persons. To the contrary,there are many examples of persons who have come from difficult non-loving homes and have been successful. With that said, not being loved in a home is not only difficult during their youth, but the characteristics they too often acquire can make their lives very difficult to even miserable and self-destructive. The following are characteristics that too often occur for adults who were not loved as children: 1. Low self-esteem. The negative words they heard day after day when growing up unfortunately can continue throughout their lives. The internal critic too often rules. 2. Being a pleaser to the point the person has no boundaries on what is good for them and they simply will do whatever it takes to make another person approve of what they are doing. 3. Isolation from others because of the belief they are not worthy to be with other persons can result in a miserable isolated life. This is what they believe they deserve and where they feel safer emotionally. 4. A desire to control others they encounter in their own lives because they never had control of their lives when growing up. This is obviously self defeating because they then negatively impact relationships with other persons and often lose them and continue to be unhappy and often alone. 5. Addiction and inappropriate use of alcohol and drugs in an attempt to stop the emotional pain which is obviously self-destructive and has no happy ending.. 6. Overcompensating in a job or career that may look successful to the rest of the world, but is only being done to seek approval for their achievements. It is a hollow success that is not being done for their own self satisfaction, but hopefully from receiving approval from others. 7. Abandonment fears in any relationship that does not go well with the belief no one will stay with them because of their conviction the person will, like their parents did, emotionally leave them. Sadly,this often occurs because the other person tires of someone who is always fearful they are leaving and often can be quite drama producing with constant tests to show they will not abandon them. 8. Constant fear of failure because they were never given approval for successes when growing up and believe it will eventually always occur in whatever they try to accomplish. 9. An inability to share insights and deep inner feelings about themselves for fear the information will be used to hurt them. 10. An inability to trust others because of fears of future betrayal and abandonment.

Apr 26, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, breakups, communication in relationships, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, feelings, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcisism, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss BEWARE OF THE MANIPULATING “LOVE BOMBER”

April 25, 2024- Someone falling in love with you is an incredibly exciting time for an honest person looking to love and be loved. The problem is there are persons who are highly manipulative and will take on the role of a manipulating “love bomber”. This is a person who will use all the psychological tools they can to manipulate you to or fall in love with them. Their ultimate goal is to take control of your life and totally destroy your self esteem and identity as a person. While even the most perceptive of persons runs the risk of falling under the almost hypnotic spell of the “love bomber”, the most vulnerable are persons naïve to loving relationships or desperately looking to love and be loved with someone in a loving magical relationship. As a result,anyone wanting to be loved and love someone is vulnerable to the “love bomber” and can fall under their sway. Love bombers are a form of sociopath in the sense they have no feelings for the person they are “love bombing”. Their goal is to have the person fall fully in love. Then they will gradually take control of their lives, isolate them from others and very candidly make them and their lives very miserable. The following are some things to look for that are typical of the “love bomber”. If you are experiencing some of them, the best advice is try to end the relationship as soon as possible and move on emotionally to save yourself from potentially a very damaging and destructive relationship. 1. In a beginning relationship ,when the person seems to be remarkably better than common sense tells you, you are probably right. 2. Expensive gifts way beyond the stage of the relationship. 3. Wanting to control all your free time. 4. Cutting you off from having time to see friends and family. 5. Warnings from family and friends you trust that the relationship is not good for you. 6. An attempt to mirror your likes and dislikes to a level of agreement that is unreasonable and clearly manipulative to show your complete compatibility. 7. The pace of the relationship is way too fast. 8. Praise and compliments that are way beyond reasonable . 9. Planning future events when the relationship is not at that stage. 10. Strong resistance with “love bombing” at any attempt to slow down the speed of the relationship.

Apr 18, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, breakups, communication in relationships, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, feelings, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcisism, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss CRITICAL FACTORS FOR PARTNER EMOTIONAL COMMUNICATION

April 16, 2024- One of the major complaints I regularly hear from one spouse or partner about the other over the years in my work as a psychologist is the lack of needed emotional communication and ongoing commitment to continue it. Like a garden,emotional communication must be addressed daily. If problems are not addressed and changed,they can lead to very unhappy relationships and too often can end them. The general belief is that this is more of a problem with men than women. Even if this were true, there are certainly many women who have problems in communication at an emotional level. With that said, it is safe to say each person is unique in regards to their willingness and ability to have effective emotional communication and commitment to it. There are some critical factors that are important in order for a partner or spouse to know the other desires a strong emotional commitment and is willing to work on it. This requires the willingness to share important things about themselves that allow a loving long term relationship or marriage to grow positively against all the pressures that can and predictably will occur over time. Critical factors would include the following: 1.Honest and authentic expression of feelings about yourself. 2.Be willing to be vulnerable emotionally and share how you truly feel about things. 3.Explain previous experiences in life to help explain how you have become the person you are. 4.Turn off electronic and other distractions for hopefully daily times to share feelings. 5. Try to use active listening to make sure you get the full message being sent to you before responding or interrupting. This can be very hard to do if you feel you are not being understood. 6.Recognize there will be rough spots where honest disagreements will occur and emotional communication will not succeed. Accept that and keep trying. 7. Be available emotionally during difficult times. 8. Hugs and kisses are important forms of emotional communication. 9 .Develop stronger spirituality with the possible support of a priest or minister could be helpful. 10. Seek out a therapist if you feel necessary to help give guidance on how to be more effective at emotional communication.

Mar 28, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, breakups, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with breakups, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult breakups, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, feelings, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcisism, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationship, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss SURVIVING AN UNEXPECTED PAINFUL RELATIONSHIP BREAKUP

March 26, 2024- The goal or dream of most persons is to have a loving, long-term relationship with a partner. Even if not in a marriage, the goal is the same because most human beings do not like being alone and tired of many ongoing and generally shallow relationships. The pain can be very difficult emotionally when one believes they are in a relationship that may potentially be lifelong, and it suddenly explodes into an unexpected break up. The person then is in great emotional distress even if they knew the relationship was not going well when it unexpectedly breaks up. Even if this is something that occurs in a short term intense relationship, that does not minimize the pain emotionally the person suffers who experiences it. The following are things to do if this occurs in your life: 1. Recognize that as painful as it is for you emotionally, you will be able to move on and most likely eventually find a successful, long-term relationship. 2. Try to determine what actually destroyed the relationship. When persons are blindsided and a relationship ends, there often were signs that were not noticed and sometimes did not want to be believed. 3. Try to learn from what happened to make sure it does not happen again. This sounds very simple, but requires a lot of personal analysis. 4. Recognize that most relationships that break up,whether long or short term, are the result of problems on both sides. 5. Without developing guilt and great remorse, it is important to see if you had problems with possessiveness, criticalness,, selfishness, envy, or what Shakespeare called the Green-Eyed Monster of jealousy. 6. Seek out friends and family who will be supportive with you during this period of difficulty. Do not overwhelm them with your feelings, but rather seek their support and love in difficult emotional times. 7. Accept there will be a painful emotional period of grieving for what has been lost and you believe could have developed. 8. Recognize the ending of the relationship may be very helpful to you psychologically if the two of you were a bad fit and only future problems would have occurred if you stayed together. 9. If you find it is impossible to sort out what has occurred on your own, seeking out an experienced therapist with short term and long-term failing relationships could be helpful to prepare you psychologically to be more effective in future relationships.

Mar 20, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, breakups, dating, dealing with a narcisist, dealing with adhd children, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, feelings, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, narcisism, narcissist, persuasion, psychology, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, sociopaths, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 discuss NARCISSISTS (NPD) AND SOCIOPATHS (ASPD)

March 19, 2024- Even though we encounter them regularly, narcissists(NPD) and sociopaths(ASPD) continue to fascinate us. The fact they can be very charming and sometimes seeming to greatly care, makes them very difficult to deal with emotionally for a person who trusts easily and gives people the benefit of the doubt. The problem is that narcissists have at their best little empathy and sociopaths have none. The difference is that the narcissist has a grandiose sense of self and constantly needs others to reflect back their superiority and unique skills. Narcissism actually feeds on other persons agreeing and vindicating their feelings of superiority. The sociopath is totally different. The sociopath has no empathy and often uses charm and manipulation to get what they desire from someone. Because of their lack of feelings or empathy, they can easily cause great psychological harm to individuals who care and love them, as well as friends, business associates, coworkers, and employees who depend on them. The problem for the average person is that they often will humor the narcissist, even if they find them overbearing and annoying. The sociopath is much harder to uncover. Their acts of sabotage can skillfully be done with manipulation, lying, “love bombing” and being cleverly irresponsible in a way it is hard to determine what they are up to. If you feel you are having negative interactions that are impacting your own self-worth and happiness by spending time, or even loving a narcissist or sociopath, the following are some suggestions on how to help set yourself free emotionally: 1. Set firm boundaries on the interactions you will have with these persons. 2. As needed, separate yourself from toxic persons in your life regardless of the relationship you currently have with them. 3. Learn to be more perceptive when persons are simply looking for adoration or seem to be doing things that are making you feel less of yourself due to gaslighting behaviors. Even though this may be hard for you to process psychologically, the painful emotional results will be obvious even if it seems you are under their spell. 4. If in a psychologically destructive relationship with a narcissist or sociopath and not sure how to get out of it, seeking a therapist experienced with treating persons involved with narcissists or sociopaths to help you move away from the person and be able to lead a normal and happy psychological life could be helpful.

Mar 12, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, breakups, dating, dealing with adhd children, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, feelings, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, persuasion, psychology, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHEN SAYING “NO” is appropriate and necessary

March 12, 2024- It is amazing how many wonderful people who have the kindest of hearts and the most willingness to help others are often overwhelmed with responsibilities. They have agreed to enter into what makes their lives a completely stressful and overwhelming experience. When one thinks of it, “no” is just a word with two letters. When one considers we use thousands of words in our lives, it is amazing how that word can make life so difficult when one cannot use it. Way too many persons feel they have to say “yes” when asked to do something. This is often learned from an early age when they were children and their parents and other adults told them to always try to be helpful and do what was requested of them. It also can be true that persons feel saying “no” is hurtful and not being a good human being. Still others will not say “no” out of feelings of guilt if they do not do what is asked of them. Still others do it out of a sense of duty that someone has asked them and it would be wrong for them not to do it. Still others cannot say “no” to families out of love and sometimes engrained guilt. My point here is not that saying “yes” when a person is asked to do something is wrong. To the contrary, I believe helping others when we can is a noble and important aspect of showing and developing caring and love for others and ourselves. It also shows a commitment to the community and the persons we love and care about. The problem is when saying “yes” to too many things can lead to mental and physical health distress to the point a person cannot function effectively in life. I have worked with many persons in my offices and also have known many persons as I have walked the road of life that cannot say “no” to persons and constantly feel overwhelmed and not able to do what they desire and need to do to lead a normal happy life. They are like a golf ball being hit from one place to another with no control over their life. If this is happening to you, the following are some things to do to help you overcome the problem with not being able to say “no”: 1.Accept you have needs that must be met for your own mental and physical well being. 2.Never say “yes” out of guilt. Guilt is destructive and will harm you if you behave based on it. 3.Do not allow burnout to overwhelm you and not allow you to function. 4.Set priorities and boundaries and base your responding “yes” or “no” for requests for help based on them.5.When setting priorities and boundaries,be realistic in what you can do to have balance in your life.6.If you find you cannot say “no” when asked to do things,you might consider seeking out a therapist to help you set up appropriate priorities and boundaries.

Mar 5, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, breakups, dating, dealing with adhd children, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, feelings, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, persuasion, psychology, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HELPING YOUR CHILD WITH ADHD- Subscribe to our page!

March 5, 2024- Life can be a challenge for a child who does not have any particular social, personal, or academic concerns. However, for the child who has been diagnosed with ADHD and shows some combination of the characteristics of lack of focus, inattention, procrastination, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, life becomes far more complicated for them and their parents. The parent of the child with ADHD needs to try to do whatever they can to help the child function to their maximum potential. It is important to know that many persons with ADHD can be enormously successful, as well as generally successful in life by simply controlling the extra energy they often possess when compared to the non-ADHD person. They can gain by being able to multitask much easier than the average person because their mind so quickly can go from one thing to another. The key is harnessing and channeling this ability to multitask into completion of activities started. The following are things parents can do to help their child with ADHD characteristics that are negatively impacting their ability to function effectively in life: 1. Make sure the diagnosis is correct. 2. Identify if there are any overlapping conditions, such as anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, conduct disorder, etc. that need to be treated. 3. Set up clear expectations of what is expected of the child and make sure they are aware of what they are and consequences if not met. 4. Take over the executive function in a way to make sure that things run smoothly because lack of organization, planning, and problems completing activities are core hallmark problems of the person with ADHD. 5. Keep the person active in sports and other activities that keep them motivated to do their best and channel what would be extra energy to other persons into the tasks and activities at hand. 6. Make sure you are not neglecting other children in the family due to the extra attention given to the person with ADHD. 7. Help teach the ADHD child who does not have good social skills how to share and be a good friend with others. 8. Work closely with involved school personnel, medical persons, and counseling persons who are involved with your child to make sure all are working in the same direction in helping your child… Because ADHD tends to run in families, there is a strong possibility you as a parent also have ADHD. If you question this and determine to see if this is true, seeking out an evaluation with a verification of ADHD could be helpful for you to better understand the characteristics of your child and offer support that can also help you. Your overall goal is to make sure you and your child are moving forward to help them overcome the ADHD characteristics that can negatively impact on their personal, social, and academic life.

Feb 29, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, breakups, dating, dealing with difficult people, Depression, difficult coworkers, Divorce, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, feelings, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, persuasion, psychology, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss SURVIVING A SURPRISE DIVORCE AT 50 OR OLDER

February 27, 2024-Surviving a surprise divorce at any age can be very shocking,devastating and life shattering. A surprise divorce at 50 or older,called a “GREY DIVORCE”,can be particularly painful and difficult because at that age large percentages of couples have children out of the home,financial worries are often less and persons are thinking about a far less stressful future together in retirement and beyond enjoying their adult children and grandchildren. When this comes to a thunderous collapse and the person is now looking at a life away from their spouse or partner,life becomes a horrible mess. This would be true even if the two were not greatly in love. For many persons,they will have to sell their homes,work much longer than planned,lose many couple and joint personal friends,share what becomes limited financial resources,loss of security,loneliness,guilt,intense anger,low self-esteem and a horrible fear of what will become of them in an uncharted ominous future. The following are some suggestions on what to do when you are dealing with a “GREY DIVORCE” you were not expecting: 1. Accept your feelings and realize your grief period will be determined by you and not others. 2. Learn from the divorce but do not torture yourself for it. The marriage is over. 3. Guilt never helped solve a problem in the past. 4. Make sure the legal aspects of the divorce are handled by an attorney with broad “GREY DIVORCE” experience. The divorce settlement could relate to your current lifestyle and the level of work you will need to do because of your changed financial situation. 5. Do not bring your adult children into the divorce in spite of how hard it will be for you not to. They will have to emotionally work it out themselves. 6. Be kind to yourself and do not allow others to define who you are. 7. Talk to trusted family and friends about your hurt, grief and anger for emotional support. 8. Develop new routines to help set new paths in your life. 9. Seek out support groups and/or a trained therapist experienced in working with persons coming out of a “GREY DIVORCE” as you feel appropriate. 10. Do not isolate yourself. Do things and see people even if difficult. 11. Learn to enjoy being single as difficult as that may seem possible. 12. Develop your spirituality and purpose in life as you forge forth on your new life voyage.

Feb 21, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts anger control, anger management, Anxiety, articulate, dating, Depression, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, feelings, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, persuasion, psychology, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss LET ANGER BE A TEACHING TOOL

Anger is not usually looked at as a teaching tool. It is often seen as something that can be
useful in protecting a person from unfairness. It also is often seen as a destructive set of
feelings that can destroy relationships and lead to failure at work,family relationships,
friendships and in a myriad of other social settings that require a person to not allow anger to be
a destructive force. When a person begins to see how anger is causing problems in their lives
and recognizes it is a negative force that is hurting them and causing them great grief, it is time
to take a look at how anger is hurting you as well as how you can use it as a teaching tool. The
obvious question is how can someone do this? In order to have effective anger beyond the need
for self-preservation and setting appropriate boundaries when unfairness cannot be tolerated,
the important thing is that all people have flaws and failings that can lead us to have anger with
them. It can even be appropriate anger that we can choose to overlook or minimize. The
problem is that too many persons cut people out of their lives due to unreasonable anger,
whether it be in a marriage, family relationships, friendships, work relationships, or any type of
interaction that we have with persons. We can let anger be a teaching tool if we are really willing
to learn how to let anger go and deal with it more appropriately. A way to do this is to develop
our sense of human compassion, love , spirituality and recognizing there will always be people
who offend us to one degree or another that will include some really good people. We need to
take a compassionate view of people we interact with, and give them the benefit of the doubt
and realize that most slights may be remembered and not appreciated, but are not of a type we
want to end friendships or have ongoing anger that ultimately Impacts us both physically and
emotionally in a very negative way. Trying to understand what motivates other persons and
recognize that life is difficult for even persons that seem immune to stress and give them the
benefit of the doubt can make for a far more positive life for us. You will find people who have
many friends overlook flaws and slights and make themselves available to friends and others in
an open manner and are rewarded with less anger and more happiness. Another thing to do to
let anger be a teaching tool is not to take ourselves too seriously and not be out measuring
unfairness by the teaspoon or making sure that we get what we feel we deserve when clearly
we can be picky and unreasonable. Another area of concern that causes great anger in
persons is when we are jealous of the success of other persons or whatever advantage we feel
they have in comparison to us. That is really a destructive use of anger. If we want to use anger
as a teaching tool, we need to celebrate the successes of others and try to learn from them or
accept their circumstances or skill sets are such they are more successful than we are at certain
levels. We need to disable anger by not comparing ourselves with others, but find joy and
satisfaction in both what we have achieved in life and what we can achieve through effort and
seeking out what we desire. The problem with too many persons is that they never really get a
handle on anger and they either have too much of it or in other cases they are not able to
defend themselves and need to learn how to use anger as a tool. The important message here
today is not to have persons not be angry and in effect allow people to take advantage of them
and not be able to set up boundaries that are necessary in life. No, the point is that anger is
something that needs to be a teaching tool to us to help us be more compassionate, more
understanding and broadening our view of why people behave as they do and recognize the
things we may see as slights, and they may be, are not worth being angry about and if we do
not watch out, we will end many friendships that have been very positive in our lives and can
ruin many future friendships through the use of anger. Another basic thought is to try to mellow
out emotionally and just enjoy life as it comes and reserve anger for clear cases of inappropriate
treatment and an important emotion to help you put up boundaries when necessary.

Feb 13, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, articulate, dating, Depression, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, feelings, Happiness, loneliness, Love, making friends, persuasion, psychology, relationships, SOCIAL SKILLS, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss MAKE THIS VALENTINE’S DAY ONE TO REMEMBER

02-13-2024-

MAKE THIS VALENTINE’S DAY ONE TO REMEMBER

Some people argue that Valentine’s Day is made too big of a thing and that what is important to remember are the 365 days that proceed it. My focus on Valentine’s Day is to set the stage for the next 365 days to get ready for the next Valentine’s Day. This does not mean if someone has been non-caring for the past year that all is forgotten and forgiven on Valentine’s Day. No, my point is that whatever has occurred in the past year, make this Valentine’s Day one to remember by showing love and caring for your spouse or partner. It hopefully will be part of an ongoing river of love or a new beginning of bringing back to vitality damaged love. Too often, persons who love each other are so bogged down with activities of everyday living that they lose track of each other. Choose to let this Valentine’s Day be one you enhance your relationship and clearly put a marker down you love each other. Some ways to do this would include the following: 1. Say I love you with words, a card, an email, on Facebook or any other way you can let the person know you love them. 2. A hug, kiss with words of love always are positive expressions of love. 4. Chocolates and flowers are typical Valentine’s Day gifts but the important thing is to give the person something that shows meaningful love to them. There may be something you think is important to give the person, and by all means give that. However, with that said, it is also important to make sure you give the person that special something that is meaningful to them to show you love them and want to give something they know you know is important to them. The range of what that can be is literally anything within reason that the person desires you are capable of giving. 5. As possible, spend a day sharing love in whatever emotional or physical manner that is important to both of you. Sometimes just

sharing time is the most important thing. 6. Going out to dinner, spending a night in a hotel, taking a walk together, watching a movie are within a range of things that can be important. I am even aware of a loving couple who are planning to make a pizza from scratch and eat it with a glass of wine, a lighted table candle and a gardenia aroma candle. As the saying goes, whatever floats your boat is what you want to do. 6. On a more serious level, if there are problems in the relationship you want corrected, make this Valentine’s Day memorable as you show your love unconditionally and indicate you are willing to do whatever you can to make the relationship have as much love and caring as possible. Let Cupid’s arrow of love have full reign!

Feb 8, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, articulate, Depression, emotional support animal, expressing yourself, feelings, Happiness, loneliness, making friends, persuasion, psychology, SOCIAL SKILLS, support animal

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL HELPS A PERSON

February 6, 2024- An emotional support anima(ESA) can be a great help for an individual in this complicated age loaded with anxiety, depression, and uncertainty. Persons are still recovering from the Covid lockdowns that caused so much emotional havoc due to social isolation and the lack of certainty in life they experienced. Research has shown that during the Covid lockdowns there was a noticeable increase in anxiety and depression in children and adults. It also was found that persons who had animals received much needed unconditional emotional support. At a more specific level, an emotional support animal can greatly reduce feelings of loneliness, anxiety, depression, and post traumatic stress disorder that many persons are experiencing and having problems overcoming. An ESA is another living creature who will give you unconditional love, companionship and also the opportunity to hug and share time with an animal that can be seen as solid emotional support in an often unforgiving world. I certainly see the advantages for a person who feels lonely with a lack of love and caring to seek out love and affection with an ESA as a form of treatment to help overcome suffering from various mental health conditions and feel some relief from the symptoms that can make life very difficult and sometimes even cause suicide ideation. Fortunately, emotional support animals are available to persons when there is an ESA letter verification by a mental health professional the person needs the emotional support animal as part of their treatment to help them be able to better maintain their emotional life. In fact, they are not really seen as an animal in the home or apartment, but are considered an emotional support animal who is part of a person’s treatment for conditions such as anxiety, depression or PTSD.

Feb 2, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, articulate, Depression, expressing yourself, feelings, Happiness, loneliness, making friends, persuasion, psychology, SOCIAL SKILLS

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WAYS FOR LONELY ADULTS TO MAKE FRIENDS

January 30, 2024- It is maybe not that strange that in a world with so much electronic contact and every imaginable streaming service available to a person, that there are so many lonely adults. A computer can never take the place of a living friend. While obviously there are also many lonely young persons, our focus here is on adults. One reason many adults do not have friends is that they were involved with friends who were the parents of the friends of their children. As the children became older and moved away, the friendships often retreated as everyone moved on to lead their own lives away from each other. The parent who may have been the center of family relationships may no longer have much close contact with family as children leave home and develop their own families and friendships. Additionally, the relatively shy person who does not feel comfortable developing friendships may have never learned how to develop them. Regardless of the reason why friendships do not develop in adults, they are critical for human beings to feel good about themselves from the vantage points of how others see them and they see themselves. The give-and-take of friendships can really warm the psyche of an individual. The great Roman orator and philosopher, Cicero, referred to a friend as “another you”. Someone you can share all your thoughts and feelings without being put down or criticized. The following are suggestions on what someone can do who feels lonely as an adult and desires friendships: 1. Make the choice of reaching out and determining to have a friendship with another human being, 2. Make yourself available as a starting point. 3. Call family and old friends to develop friendships in the now. 4. Join a club, church group, or any other organization and become an active member. That you have a reason to meet and interact with others could lead to friendships. 5. Take risks and share your feelings with a person or persons to develop a certain level of camaraderie and positive feelings about each other. 6. Be a reliable person while developing a friendship so that someone knows they can count on you. 7. Show the person you truly care about them. Talk about things that are important to them and let them know what is important to them is also important to you. If you have not developed or lost the ability to care for another person, work on it, and repeat affirmations you do care about others and you are going to try to understand them and relate to them as a caring human being. 8. Be willing to be vulnerable in a relationship and recognize there is potential for being hurt, but the potential for developing a friendship and being close with another person or persons make the risks worthwhile. This could be very delicate and difficult if a person has had problems with relationships in the past or has not been comfortable entering into friendships. If so,this is an area that needs to be worked on. 9. Seek out a trained therapist as you feel appropriate who knows about developing friendships to help you…. As you attempt to enter into a “New World” to develop friendships that can last the rest of your life, look forward to it.The voyage may be rocky and difficult, but the rewards are remarkable as being lonely is very sad and bad for a person’s physical and mental health.

Jan 19, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, articulate, Depression, expressing yourself, feelings, Happiness, persuasion, psychology

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO SHOW PEOPLE THEY MATTER TO YOU

January 16, 2024 We live in an age where more and more persons are isolated from each other and often their major communication is not with human beings but with computers and other electronic devices. This isolation also is enhanced for many by working at home, a breakdown in the traditional and extended family, less involvement and participation in community, social and church organizations. The rise in percentages of persons with anxiety and depression is not surprising because humans as a whole need and thrive with human interaction and the acknowledgment they belong and matter to others. Each of us can help persons by showing they matter to us. This will help enhance their self-esteem and desire to see more purpose in their lives. The following are ways to show people they matter in your life: 1. Make time for them. This is very basic and very critical. 2. Let them know they matter to you. 3. Explain how they matter to you. 4. Listen to their concerns with attention and sincere interest. 5. Show genuine compassion and understanding. 6. Be available in the present if needed. 7. Believe in and support their dreams they are trying to accomplish in their lives. 8. If it is someone you work with or regularly interact, always have a smile and be available if they desire to talk. 9. Be positive and do what you can to help the person kick out negativity. 10. Encourage hope. It is critical in good and bad times to help keep a person moving forward with hope as they do what they feel must be done to be successful in their lives.11. In discussions with them, focus on them and not you or some other person.12. Let persons know you are grateful for whatever they are doing that you appreciate. This can be family members, coworkers, employees, employers, community persons, political leaders, or anyone you have gratitude. 13. In the case of children, spouses, and other loved ones, constantly acknowledge them and let them know how much they matter to you. They may know you love them and appreciate that, but always let them know how much they matter to you. 14. Regularly verify over and over again that they matter to you…Some of these things may seem obvious, but it is important we let persons know they matter to us. When persons feel they do not matter to others, the isolation they feel in this electronic age can lead to not only depression and anxiety, but also even suicide ideation. There is no cost to letting persons know they matter to us and the benefits to them feeling better knowing they matter to others can keep or enhance positivity in them. You will receive appreciation from them from your efforts helping them enhance their self-esteem and performance in life by you singling them out and letting them know they matter to you.

Jan 5, 2024 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, counseling, Depression, mental health, psychology, Seasonal Affective Disorder, therapy

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320AM discuss SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER(SAD) IS BACK FOR MANY PERSONS

January 2, 2024- Seasonal Affective Disorder(SAD) is a form of depression that occurs with the change of seasons. It tends to begin and end at the same time. It affects 5 percent of the U.S. population ,lasts about 4 months and is more frequent among women than men. It occurs in Michigan and similar weather areas during winter when it is cold,with short days and little sun. At a personal anecdotal level, I talked to four persons last week who all related they were getting tired of the overcast weather with the lack of sun and were getting run down and feeling sad. This condition clearly saps your energy and leads to a form of depression called SAD. Common characteristics of Seasonal Affective Disorder would include feeling sluggish, having low energy levels,sleeping too much or not enough, having difficulties concentrating on what needs to be done, substance abuse, feeling hopeless and even guilty for the feelings of depression, having no interest in things that normally keep the person interested and sometimes even excited, feeling sad and not enjoying good portions of the day if not the whole day, weight gain, changes in appetite that can include a craving for foods that are high in carbohydrates, and even suicide ideation and feeling it is not worth going on with these feelings. Fortunately suicide ideation is no not typical, but is something to be aware of in yourself or someone you really care about. There can be Seasonal Affective Disorder in the spring and summer but percentages are much higher in the northern parts of the country and world where there is a lack of sunshine, short days, cold temperatures and a high percentage of cloudy conditions without sun. These tend to be in areas far north and south of the equator. Causes of SAD would include a drop in serotonin levels, which is the brain chemical/neurotransmitter that affects the mood of persons and can play a major role in SAD. A lack of sunshine can also cause a drop in serotonin that may bring upon depression. Another cause would be melatonin levels which can negatively impact the balance of melatonin in the person which impacts a person’s sleep patterns and overall mood. Additionally, your biological clock – circadian rhythm – can disrupt your body’s internal clock by having a lack of sunshine that can bring upon depression. If you feel you are becoming particularly sad as the winter season progresses with the lack of sunshine, short days and cold temperatures, remedies would include medication for depression, counseling, exercising, replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts, a light box that replicates actual sunlight, a good diet and even if possible a vacation in the winter to parts of the country loaded with sunshine and warmer temperatures. Many persons just accept they have SAD and do not do enough to try to overcome it. If you start having problems due to SAD with substance abuse, problems with work, family or school, social withdrawal, and for sure with suicide ideation or thoughts, it is time to strongly consider meeting with a therapist who is an expert in SAD and also your medical doctor for potential medication and advice on how to best take care of yourself mentally and physically. If it happens yearly around the same time, it is wise to seek treatment before SAD begins.

Dec 27, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss MAKE 2024 AN EXCITING VOYAGE

Christmas 2023-

MAKE 2024 AN EXCITING VOYAGE

Over the years, I have often talked about New Year’s resolutions, and how important they can be if persons try to follow them. I still believe that is true. However, this year I think a good way to look upon 2024 is as an exciting voyage where we can do things we have not done and would make our life more fulfilling. Most people get into a routine in life, and even if they do not like it, they tend to stick with it and even cling to it out of habit. That is good at the level that it can lead to predictability and success in one’s relationships with people, and in work related endeavors. The problem is that life is a one time event and it is important to try to make life an exciting voyage. Things that I would think would be included in this exciting life voyage would include the following: 1. Seeking out a partner to share a life with if this has not occurred for reasons varying from problems in previous relationships to feeling you will not be successful in one or fear you might be taken advantage of or be hurt. Regardless of the reason, now is the time to examine why you feel this way and try to make changes that would make a successful relationship occur. 2. Do a true analysis of your job and see if it really is what you want to do. Many people stay in jobs simply because they have them and have a fear of voyaging into something new. I think this is a mistake because too many people I know are in this situation. Others after retirement wish they had tried other things in their work lives. Work is an important part of a life and has much to do with a person’s self-esteem and how they interact with other persons and even who they interact with. 3. Take a look at what you know and what you would like to know. This seems like a simple thing, but too many persons just accept what they know and do not voyage into areas of knowledge that might make their lives and themselves more interesting and meaningful. 4. Seek out groups on the Internet or in person you might find interesting and could clearly make your voyage of life more interesting and exciting. It could include service clubs, church clubs,hobby clubs, reading groups, community organizations or groups of any type. 5.Seek out reasonable persons with different views to interact with to expand your views on life and the components that make it up. 6.Travel to expand your outlook on other physical settings and interactions with persons with different life experiences…These are simply some examples that could be helpful for making your life a more happy and exciting voyage in the year 2024. While these are somewhat related to New Year’s resolutions, they are actually broader and offer more potential fulfillment to your overall life. As the new year approaches, I suggest you take a look at the things you could do to really make for a happy and exciting life voyage in 2024. GO FOR IT!

Dec 22, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, Christmas, christmas movies, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, drug abuse, family and holidays, Love, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss how CHRISTMAS CAN BE A TIME OF JOY FOR ALL PERSONS

Christmas 2023 Christmas is a time of joy for Christians as it is a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Christians believe he was sent to earth to die for their sins so they can have a life of eternity with him and persons they loved and cared for on earth. Whether a person is a Christian or not, and there are over 2 billion Christians in the world, Christ was a person who came to show love and empathy for all persons. I can love and respect Mahatma Gandhi, who was a Hindu, for what he represented without being a Hindu. Who can really argue against one of Christ’s great commandments of the New Testament, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”? Who can really argue with his statement that only a person without sin should cast the “first stone” of criticism of others. Whether he was God or not, he was clearly a man of peace and love. A year ago I was talking about movies such as the Hallmark movies and how they can be so enjoyable during the Christmas season. I still believe Christmas themed movies and novels that present persons falling in love and showing great human kindness are enjoyed by countless millions of persons. The Christmas Carol ,written by Charles Dickens in1843, is a perennial classic as we see Ebenezar Scrooge go from being a pitiless lover of money and hater of Christmas to becoming a good Christian trying to help Tiny Tim and his family have a wonderful Christmas. It is true Christmas can be very stressful for a large percentage of persons and that can distract from the joy of Christmas. A study by the American Psychological Association showed 38% of persons had stress during the holidays. Hopefully, you can reduce this by focusing less on gifts and more on demonstrating love and compassion for ourselves, family, friends, and others we encounter during this period of Christmas. Our goal is to try to better develop our sense of love and peace by emulating the thoughts and behaviors of the Prince of Peace and Love, Jesus Christ. The emphasis on Christmas is not gifts but love with emphasis on communication with family and friends who are in the spirit of Christmas and reflect love, caring, and sharing positive feelings. Let us all enjoy the joy of Christmas in 2023 and remember the billions of persons who live and have lived trying to emulate the loving and caring ways of Jesus Christ over the centuries. It is Jesus and what he represents we are celebrating this Christmas, regardless of our spiritual beliefs.

Dec 15, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adhd children, Anxiety, braccio, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, east lansing, friendships, hope, making friends, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, schools and mental health, therapy during covid, wils, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss SURVIVING THE DEATH OF A BELOVED SPOUSE

December 12, 2023- There are few things in life more devastating psychologically and leading to ongoing and even long-term trauma than the death of a beloved spouse. Over time,the two persons in many ways become one.When persons marry for life, they are thinking about all the years they hope to spend together sharing loving experiences. They may also have dreams of having children and a wonderful family life. There is an intense feeling of happiness and an eagerness for the future. There are no thoughts of a plan for the death of the loving spouse. When this occurs, it is a totally shattering experience. While caring friends, family members and professionals can be helpful, there is no clear road for the person to navigate emotionally. And for sure, the emotional road will be one with great emotional pain and suffering. Additionally, there can be physical problems resulting from the constant emotional stress on the person’s body. When one does lose a loving spouse, it is critical the surviving spouse not feel a need to immediately address all the concerns that may be coming to the mind. The exception would be financial concerns that must be addressed.The important thing is to recognize that grieving is a very personal experience and there is no one right way to overcome it. Even though there is a need for family and friends to be supportive and helpful, it is a very lonely journey only that person can experience. Important things to do when trying to survive the death of a beloved spouse would include the following: 1. Surround yourself with family and friends to the degree you are comfortable. It is critical there be human support and understanding. 2. Seek out spiritual support to the level of where you are spiritually. If you believe in an eternal life, then you are aware God chose to have your spouse come first and that you will eventually be together again. 3. If you have a more secular view of life, then always remembering the wonderful times you had together will help you go to the next stage of your life without your spouse. 4. Taking care of yourself physically is very important. You can do damage to yourself physically due to your emotional distress if you do not eat appropriately,do not exercise,do not do personal hygiene and generally do not care for yourself. 5. Seek out online groups for grieving the death of a spouse or various community groups or groups with religious affiliation. 6. Seek out a professional therapist experienced in grieving the loss of a spouse to help give direction and support. 7. Do not make rash major life decisions after the death of a spouse. Quitting a job, selling a house, moving to another state, or any other major decision is best done after a period of time of reflection and dealing with the intense grieving that will occur. 8. Do not allow others to determine what is the appropriate amount of time for grieving. That is a personal experience that is totally different for every person. The exception to this statement is when the person grieving the death of a spouse cannot move on and can become a threat to themselves physically and emotionally.

Dec 8, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adhd children, Anxiety, braccio, children and covid, couples therapy, Depression, Divorce, east lansing, friendships, hope, making friends, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, schools and mental health, therapy during covid, wils, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WAYS TO KEEP YOUR MEMORY SHARP

WAYS TO KEEP YOUR MEMORY SHARPE

An ongoing common concern of many persons in this age of long living persons is their memory. With that said,even young persons have these concerns as they lead busy lives with a lot of stress and even human isolation in such a fast paced digital world. Working from home further isolates people and memory can slip with too much isolation. We will exclude from our discussion conditions like dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, that clearly relate to the deterioration of a person’s memory through physical brain loss and dysfunction. That withstanding,the suggestions made here can be helpful for them also to function as best as one can for as long as possible. Today we are talking about ways to help you deal with memory loss that are typical for most persons as we live our lives. It is also important to realize that in the busy stressful lives that persons live in at this time, it is not unusual to feel overwhelmed and stressed out at times so that remembering things can be difficult for even the most astute persons. The following are ways to keep your memory sharp in your lifetime. These suggestions would be valid regardless of whether your concerns of memory loss are psychological, physical, or some combination of both. 1. Keep your mind active and always seeking out new challenges and things to learn about in your life. 2. Seek out ongoing in-person interactions with others. 3. Keep physically active everyday to keep the flood blow to all parts of the body. 4. Keep your life and home organized to make sure you keep appointments, make necessary appointments, pay bills on time, and check off items on a required daily list as you do them. 5. Cut out distractions from your life to help keep your mind sharpe and tending to what needs to be done. 6. Sufficient sleep is critical to ongoing good memory. 7. Eat a good healthy diet. 8. Stay away from toxic people who cause great mental distress. 9. Meet with appropriate medical and mental health professionals as necessary to be as healthy as possible physically and mentally.

Nov 29, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER (OCD) AND YOUR CHILD

November 28, 2023- As we previously discussed, Obsessive-Compulsive DISORDER (OCD) can be a torturous psychological condition for even the brightest and most talented of persons. The cycle of obsessive thoughts seemingly only reduced by compulsive behaviors in a never ending cycle ,if not controlled, can greatly disrupt the life of the person with the condition. It can be particularly devastating psychologically for children and adolescents who do not understand what it is and believe it is normal that they can overcome obsessive thoughts by believing the compulsive behaviors will satisfy or eliminate them. OCD can alter the personality of the person with anger and high anxiety when someone tells them to stop these compulsive behaviors they believe must be done. Common obsessive thoughts and resulting compulsions include dirt which leads to constant washing of hands, constant reinforcement that what they are doing is right, extreme orderliness with clothes or whatever, belief they must pray over and over again to be forgiven for some wrong from the past,present or future, believing the compulsive behavior can save a life or disaster, and the belief their obsessive thoughts and resulting behaviors are normal and necessary to avert whatever is the fear they are eliminating . An additional concern is that anxiety, depression, insomnia,eating disorders and even suicide ideation can be side effects resulting from OCD. The following are suggestions on how to help your child or teenager suffering from OCD: 1. Do not believe it is a mental health condition your child will just grow out of. 2. Seek out an experienced therapist in treating OCD. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in the form of Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is considered the gold standard for mental health treatment. 3. Talk to your family physician or pediatrician to discuss possible medication. There are medications such as the SSRIs that have been helpful in the treatment of children and adolescents with OCD. They are usually used with moderate to severe OCD. 4. Family counseling can often be helpful so everyone is working together. 5. In a sensitive manner, parents need to help their children realize OCD is a mental health condition that needs to be eliminated as much as possible. Children cannot be allowed to believe the behavior is normal.

Nov 14, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, ADHD, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, Depression, difficult children, Divorce, drug abuse, envious, envy, fully licensed psychologist, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss “DO NOT ALLOW PAST MISTAKES AND “WHAT IFS” RUIN YOUR PRESENT

11-14-2023- Learning from mistakes in the past is a good thing to do. Thinking about things that we might have done in the past and wondering how they might have turned out can be interesting and also a good thing. These thoughts become a problem psychologically when we become overwhelmed by mistakes and perceived mistakes we made in the past and relive them and cannot be happy in the now. The anxiety creating “what iffing”is a classic cause of anxiety and can also lead to psychological turmoil by not being happy in the present and thinking about all the wonderful things that the person believes would have occurred if they had only done certain things. Of course,no one knows how events would have worked out on a choice not made. One cannot allow self to be negatively impacted by the past. If you find past mistakes or perceived loss of opportunities are causing you psychological grief,the following are suggestions to be happy in the present and not relive real and perceived mistakes in the past. 1. You can never COULD HAVE,SHOULD HAVE,MIGHT HAVE or OUGHT HAVE. Live in the NOW and do what you can. 2. Learn from your mistakes and use them as lessons in learning what not to do. Do not focus on them and cause yourself emotional pain. 3. As appropriate,advise others how to not make the mistakes you have made. This is a good way to feel better about your mistakes. 4. Do not emotionally torture yourself by replaying verbal and social interactions where you feel you embarrassed yourself. Learn from them. 5. If you cannot do this on your own,you can seek a therapist to help you experienced in such matters to guide you.

Nov 10, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, ADHD, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, Depression, difficult children, Divorce, drug abuse, envious, envy, fully licensed psychologist, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO COPE WITH ENVIOUS PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

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November 7, 2023

Last week we talked about the tortured life of the envious person. This week we are going to talk about how persons cope with the envious persons in their lives. Because we live in a competitive society where being number one or the best in their field is often the goal, it is not unusual there is a lot of envy in persons who do not reach that level of success. There also are envious persons who do not try to be number one but nevertheless are envious of hard working high achievers who they compare themselves unfavorably. Envious persons also can be envious of persons they see as greater or more successful. Because there is so much envy in the world, and envy is a part of every person even if to a minimal degree, it is important persons learn how to deal with envious persons. We do not need to worry about persons who are envious of us but do nothing more than being envious. With them, we can be positive and supportive of their positive traits and achievements. To those who are envious and we are not aware, there is nothing we can do. The problem is when persons are envious and try to undermine us in our lives,they can be just out and out sarcastic and mean to our face. They also try to undermine us when we are not around them and they are with others. Rather than being overwhelmed emotionally and feeling horrible because people are envious of us and try to undermine us, it is important we learn how to safeguard our self-esteem and confront such persons. The following are strategies to use to cope with the envious person who negatively impacts on us at whatever level in our lives. 1. Confront a person and stand up for yourself, and do not allow yourself to be bullied or treated unfairly. 2. Let the person know you are aware of their envy. Let them know you are not happy about it and are willing to confront them if they become sarcastic or try to undermine you in one way or another. 3. Try to talk to the person and indicate the behavior puts a strain on the friendship or whatever relationship there is, and that it could end it. 4. End the relationship with the person completely and recognize they are toxic to you and your life is far better without them in it. 5. If you must interact with them due to family, mutual friends, joint leisure activities etc., then keep your distance and always be on guard and willing to stand up for yourself as necessary. 6. As appropriate, ignore the person and let them say as they will with no need for any more interactions. 7. Be happy with who you are and what you have achieved,and never allow others to define you. 8. As felt necessary, seek out an experienced therapist to help guide you when dealing with envious persons.

Nov 5, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, ADHD, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, dealing with covid, Depression, difficult children, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss THE TORTURED LIFE OF THE ENVIOUS PERSON

Subscribe to our page! 10-31-2023 Envy can be torturous to a person who constantly desires the good fortune they perceive someone else is experiencing and are very upset emotionally they do not have it. It is a case where a person does not look at the benefits and gifts they have in life but constantly compare themselves with others and do it in a negative way. They can be envious of someone they perceive as better looking, having better luck, having more wealth, having a better personality, coming from a better family, having a more attractive spouse, having a better circle of friends, or any other thing that someone could be envious. The result is that the person suffers a form of emotional pain because they do not have what the other person has. It can be positive if it inspires someone to try harder to achieve something. That would be a positive type of envy. But today we are talking about the type of envy that hurts the person emotionally, and from which some persons never recover in their lives as they constantly find things to be envious. It is the rather odd phenomenon of counting the blessings of others and underestimating their own. The end result is psychological hurt and frustration.The causes of envy are often low self-esteem caused by difficulties in one’s youth. They can relate to poverty or feelings of not being treated fairly at home and in life. There also are competitive persons who simply must be number one even in areas they clearly are not. It is not by accident that envy is considered one of the seven deadly sins. At its worst,envy can lead to mocking the person for their perceived superiority or one can use sarcasm and other passive-aggressive strategies to undermine the person that one has envy. Ways to overcome envy would include the following: 1. Count and appreciate your own blessings and achievements! 2. Develop a sense of happiness that others have their blessings. 3. Make envy positive by improving yourself in areas that previously caused envy. 4. never compare yourself with others except for self improvement. Love yourself! 5. Accept you are an envious person and determine to overcome it. 6. Make changes in your own life to help eliminate envy. 7. Seek and find spiritual satisfaction to help overcome worldly envy and be happier. 8. If you feel it would be helpful, seek out a trained therapist with a person who is experienced in helping persons with envy.

Oct 25, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, dealing with covid, Depression, difficult children, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS FOR DEALING WITH A DIFFICULT CHILD

October 24, 2023- A person is very fortunate who has not had a difficult child at one time or another during the period they were being raised. In my work with parents trying to learn how to deal with a difficult child, my point is not to find fault with parenting techniques that have been used up to that time, but rather to try to find the best way for the parents to be able to work with a difficult child in the here and now. An important thing to remember is that children do not misbehave simply because they desire to do it. There is a reason for the behavior. It can be a parent is too strict or too lax. There are many other reasons that the misbehavior can occur. The important thing is to try to learn why is your child being so difficult with you. If it is hard to determine from all the possibilities ranging from a child wanting to control the house to a child simply desiring attention and willing to accept negative attention versus no attention,do not worry. The important thing is to try the following strategies to help you and your child: 1. Recognize you are a parent and your job is to model good behavior and not allow you or your child to be rude or disrespectful. 2. Regardless of what has happened to the present, you need to set up boundaries on what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. 3. Keep control of your own emotions and not allow your child to create a sibling-like relationship with you that simply devolves into constant arguing and disagreement. 4. Seek out when your child is behaving appropriately and praise them at that time. The goal is to encourage and reinforce appropriate behavior. Too often the parent says nothing when the child is behaving appropriately for the risk of beginning a conflict. 5. Reward good behavior when possible with compliments and potentially with desired activities or things as long as it is not simply a child being good to receive rewards. It is important to remember that when children behave as desired,we often do good things for them and see it as appropriate. 6. Have few rules in the house and enforce them with consequences that the child is aware of with no surprises. 7. As possible, have family discussions where there can be agreements on what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior, and what are the consequences for inappropriate behavior. When this occurs, and you and the child are aware their activities have led to the resulting consequences,they then must accept the consequences as their own making. Successful family discussions relating to appropriate behaviors are not simple to do but something to work on as a family over a period of time. What are acceptable behaviors by you can also be part of the plan. 8.. Take into account your own temperament and personality when dealing with your child. It is very possible the temperament and personality of your child are quite different from you and this leads to a lot of the bumping heads that is occurring between you. Try to use an approach that takes into account the needs of your personality as well as that of your child. Understanding these differences can be critical in developing good communication between the two of you. 9. Recognize situations where there are high risks of problems occurring and plan accordingly for how you will react to them. 10. Make sure you focus on the problem of the moment and do not bring in previous problems lest the discussion become one of a list of problems and not a resolution of a current one. 11. Seek out a therapist who can help your child behave more appropriately and potentially do family counseling. 10. Seek out an experienced therapist in family dynamics who can help guide you to be a more effective parent for both you and your child.

Oct 12, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss BE PREPARED PSYCHOLOGICALLY FOR RETIREMENT

October 10, 2023:

BE PREPARED PSYCHOLOGICALLY FOR RETIREMENT

I have learned in my work as a psychologist over the decades that persons when getting ready to retire, often do it with planning about their physical and financial conditions. Without a doubt,these are important areas to evaluate when you consider retirement. The problem is too often persons do not think about what the impact retirement will have on them psychologically. For example, a job is more than something a person simply spends time at. No,a job impacts a person’s self esteem, friendships, and image to all persons they meet and interact with. Being a farmer, psychologist, bookkeeper , physician , governmental worker, factory worker, radio broadcaster, etc., is a major part of who they are. When they retire, they become a “retired person” and people see them as such. This can be fine for many persons, but many others do not realize the importance their job had on them in relation to status, levels of friendship, levels of authority and the constant interaction and challenges in the workplace. One needs to prepare for such a radical change to their lives. Even persons who did not like their jobs can miss the relationships and interactions that were meaningful to them on a day to day basis. I have known and worked with many persons who were not prepared for the significant changes that occur in their life after retirement. The “golden retirement years” can be depressing , lonely, and demoralizing when the person feels isolated,bored and even without purpose. They can even feel guilty at their failure to feel fulfilled with their retirement . A recent AARP study found 57% of retired persons say they had not prepared psychologically for retirement. The following are some suggestions to help a person be psychologically ready to retire: 1.Make sure you want to do it and are ready psychologically. 2.Do not let age be the primary retirement determinant. I will be 80 years old this week and have never thought a day of retiring. 3.See retirement as a new phase of your life with new goals and challenges. 4.Look for new dreams to be fulfilled. 5.Join new groups and rekindle old friendships. 6.Enhance family and spousal relationships. 7.Complete desired educational goals you desire to complete. 8.Meet with a therapist experienced in dealing with mental health of persons preparing to retire as well as retired persons. 9.Further develop your sense of spirituality and purpose in life.

Oct 4, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, braccio, cheating, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, friendships, hope, infidelity, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, trust in relationships, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHEN TO STAY AFTER AN AFFAIR

10-03-2023-

WHEN TO STAY AFTER AN AFFAIR

This is our third segment on affairs and their effects on relationships. We discussed why persons have affairs and what the person who had it can try to do to salvage the relationship. Today we discuss why the aggrieved partner chooses to stay in the relationship when the philanderer has true remorse and wants the relationship to continue. This remorse is the key first step in keeping the marriage together. Further factors would include the following: 1.Good friends who enjoy the company of each other and the sharing of their lives. 2. Similar moral and/or spiritual values. 3. Sexual attraction and sexual needs. 4. Children and the impact on them. 5. Common interests and joint activities. 6. Financial considerations. 7. Future joint dreams and goals. 8. Probability or belief spouse or partner will never again philander. 9.Emotional needs being met.10. Willingness to take part in counseling. 11. And most importantly,a strong bond of love.

Sep 28, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, braccio, cheating, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, friendships, hope, infidelity, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, trust in relationships, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM Rebuilding Trust After an Affair- subscribe to our YouTube page!

September 26, 2023 Last week we discussed why persons have affairs. Today we are going to talk about how the person who had the affair can help rekindle the love in the relationship if the partner is willing to give the marriage or relationship another chance. It is critical that the person who had the affair clearly has remorse for what has occurred and tries to do everything possible to convince a spouse or partner what occurred was truly a betrayal, and will never happen again. The process will predictably be very slow and frustrating to the person who simply wants to let the past go and move on. That is not how things work in rebuilding a relationship where betrayal exists. When a person loves someone and believes they are loved equally, betrayal and infidelity are devastating to the whole underpinnings of the relationship and it is very hard to convince them they truly are the primary focus of the love of the person. The following are suggestions to try to make this happen: 1.Total authentic remorse. 2. Great long term patience. 3. Recognition the questions will keep coming over and over again. 4. Doubts about the authenticity of your remorse may be questioned for a very long period. 5. Always explain where you are when questioned during the rebuilding of love and trust period. 6. The timeline for forgiveness and building a different but potentially better love relationship is with the betrayed spouse or partner and not the philanderer. 7. A therapist trained in working with partners is philandering relationships could be helpful. 8.Spirtuality could also be a strong foundation for the rebuilding of the loving relationship. 9.Be aware,the betrayed person may never get over the affair and the marriage may end; however,it will not be because you did not try to authenticity rebuild a loving relationship.

Sep 22, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, braccio, cheating, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, friendships, hope, infidelity, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, trust in relationships, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY PERSONS HAVE AFFAIRS

September 22, 2023-

WHY PERSONS HAVE AFFAIRS

Most of us are aware of a person or persons in marriage or monogamous relationships that have intimate relationships with other persons. The opportunities are many in such a fast paced society. The electronic world we live in today allows these relationships to be sexual, emotional, and a combination of the two without being physically together. My purpose here is to talk about why persons do this. The reasons are amazingly varied and can range from shallow sexual relationships to intense online emotional and sexual activity. We will talk another time about how relationships can be salvaged when affairs occur. Reasons would include the following: 1.Persons with an incapacity to commit to a monogamous relationship and never will. 2. Risktakers who enjoy the activity and hope not to get caught. They like living on the edge. 3.Persons who get caught up in the moment and determine they are going to do what they are going to do and not worry about the consequences. 4. Compulsive sex addicts. 5.Those who have affairs while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. 6. Persons who feel a lack of affection and the need to get it outside of the relationship. 7. A breakdown of communication between the spouses or partners that leads to the person feeling they need this and will get it one way or the other. 8. Poor self-esteem and the need to feel better about self by having another person pay them reinforcement and attention. 9. Concerns relating to conversations not taking place in the home and the need for discussion about them that only can occur outside of the home.10. Major physical or mental conditions of a partner such as severe pain, Parkinson’s disease, MS or dementia can lead to someone finding sexual and emotional satisfaction outside of the home. 11. Having children can lead to so much of the focus of the spouse or partner on the children, that the person feels abandoned and obtains sexual and emotional satisfaction outside of the home. 12. Physical separation for extended periods of time and the spouse or partner feels the need for in person sexual and emotional intimacy apart from the phone or visual communication…The point here is not to indicate any of these reasons, as well as many others, justify someone breaking the commitment to a marriage or monogamous relationship. The point is that affairs are incredibly common and it is critical that spouses and partners continually work on their relationships on a daily basis, and be aware that strong friendship is the glue that keeps relationships together. When persons take each other for granted, and do not treat each other like dear friends and let other priorities take precedence over their relationship, then affairs are often sadly the result.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHAT FAILURE TEACHES US- subscribed to our YouTube page!

WHAT FAILURE TEACHES US

9-12-2023- All of us experience failure at one time or another. How we react to it is critically important for future success. We will achieve our goals that can make us feel successful and satisfied psychologically if we do not allow failure to sabotage us. My point is not to say that failure is a wonderful thing we should seek. No, my point is that everyone has failures in life and successful persons have learned from their failures and have made better decisions which leads to the successes they have in life. When someone gives up and becomes sad, disappointed, and even disillusioned by failures, and chooses not to continue the fight, then failure becomes the ruling psychological victor and the person runs the risk of seeing self as a victim with little or no chance for real success and happiness in life. One needs to see failure as a learning experience and begin the ongoing fight for success. The following would include what can be learned from failure: 1.Accept failure is a part of life we all experience. 2. Recognize that continuing to do something is the beginning of success. 3. Failure is part of reality. 4. Do not focus on what might have happened but focus on what can happen by learning from the failure. 5. Accept whatever blame you deserve in the failure and never take on the role of victim. 6. Never give up. As long as you are alive, there is always the opportunity for success and overcoming failure. 7. As devastating as can be a divorce,not getting a promotion,losing out on a love or getting fired, the key is to learn from these experiences and make every effort to not have them happen again. 8. Manage your time more effectively,because many failures are the result of not appropriately prioritizing what needs to be done to be successful and wasting a lot of needed time. 9.See failure as teaching us what we need to learn, as opposed to what we do not know. 10. Reduce the pain of failure by simply seeing it as part of the process to being successful. 11. Do not allow others to define you by your failures. You define yourself by your overcoming failures and being successful…My point here is not to minimize the emotional pain that failure can cause. No,my point is that failure is the first step to success by changing the process that failed and trying a new approach to lead to success. It is a positive mindset in the midst of failure. You may have to accept many failures before you reach the success you desire. Ted Williams became a great baseball hitter by constant study of the opposing pictchers and finely honing his batting skills. The whole process you are using may need to be altered or you may need new goals and projects. To never give up is the critical ingredient for success and overcoming failure.

Sep 7, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, retirement, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss OVERCOMING REJECTION-

OVERCOMING REJECTION

Rejection is a common experience that everyone experiences in their life to one degree or another. It is often accompanied with anxiety,depression and low self-esteem. It is a painful experience and how we react to it determines how we will overcome it and even use it to our advantage. Rejection can relate to love, family experiences, friendships , career opportunities/promotions, or a myriad of things that one encounters in life. The important thing is not to allow rejection to devastate your self-esteem. Sadly, this happens to many persons and they are never able to fulfill their potential to become that happy and successful human being that is within them. The following are things to do to help you overcome rejection: 1.Accept rejection is a part of life. 2.Accept how you react to rejection will have a strong influence on how happy is your life. 3.Accept what happened even as you do not like it. 4.Visualize a better future and do things to make it become reality. 5. Do not allow rejection to ever define who you are. 6. Grow from your experience and learn from it. 7. Avoid unproductive continuous thinking about your rejection. 8.Surround yourself with positivity. 9. If rejected in love, recognize the other person was not where you are, and be aware that was not the right situation for you. 10.Pamper self with understanding and compassion. 11.Recognize there is a rainbow and clear sunny skies ahead of the stormy life you are experiencing. 12.If bypassed for a job or promotion, recognize you were not prepared for the job or move on to a new position that will appropriately take into account your abilities. 13.Seek out friends who you can discuss your rejection with and who can help you navigate your feelings and give you better perspective. 14.Seek out an experienced therapist who can help guide you through your rejection in your current situation or maybe your overall outlook on rejection to help you function more effectively in life…Implementing some of these suggestions will predictably help you deal more effectively with rejection. With that said, rejection is painful and how we address it psychologically impacts how happy we will be in our lives.

Aug 31, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURE OF OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR(OCD)

August 29, 2023 Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder(OCD) can psychologically torture a person with a constant cycle of obsessing on an act or thought,having severe anxiety about eliminating it and completing a compulsive act or thought to relieve the sometimes debilitating anxiety. While the OCD sequence can relate to a seemingly almost endless list of thoughts and behaviors,they very commonly occur with extreme cleanliness and hatred of dirt or germs,hand washing,hoarding,keeping things in a rigid or symmetrical manner, numbers, and making sure over and over again you have locked the door or turned out the lights. A good example is the person constantly washing their hands and can only relieve the belief their hands are not dirty by constantly washing them again and again in an endless cycle. I remember a house hoarder who could no longer put things in his house buying another house to reduce his anxiety! An important thing to remember is that everyone has some activities they are very concerned about completing and getting them right. Wanting to have an orderly room or clean hands would be reasonable things for a person to desire and do. It becomes a problem when the OCD symptoms begin to interfere in the life of the person and the resulting anxiety and attempting to resolve it with rituals and time consuming activities and thoughts impact negatively on a person’s life that a person meets the diagnosis of OCD. It also is important to note that OCD symptoms can overlap with anxiety , ADHD, and depression to name a few. It is not unusual for a person with OCD to have additional diagnoses. Over the years, I have talked to many persons with OCD and can verify the condition can really be torturous for the person psychologically. I have talked to persons who are so concerned about food in a restaurant that they will pick through it with a fork and knife to make sure there are no bugs or other forms of dirt in it. Others who will not go to a restaurant out of utterly unreasonable fears of food contamination. Additionally, I have known persons so obsessed with how safe the air they are breathing or the water they are drinking that they are never comfortable with them to the point they are always checking them. This negatively impacts on their ability to function in all areas of their lives…If you feel you have OCD or some of the symptoms are growing and interfering with your psychological well-being,now is a good time to obtain an evaluation by an experienced psychologist in OCD and and also talk to your family physician or pediatrician to take back control of your life. .

Aug 25, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adhd children, Anxiety, braccio, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, east lansing, friendships, hope, making friends, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, schools and mental health, therapy during covid, wils, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR MEMORY

August 22, 2023 – We all have questions about our memory at one time or another. Oftentimes, memory issues can relate to high levels of anxiety, depression, prescription medications,drug and alcohol abuse,high blood pressure,brain injury,and the general stressors of life that make it difficult for us to remember things that are important or not important. However, it is also true that as we age problems with memory can become significant, and it is important that we notice when this occurs and determine what we will do to try to control the memory problems as best we can. Typical questions to ask would include the following: 1.Do you feel you have memory loss? If so, how? 2.Do you feel you have intermittent memory problems? If so, how? 3. Do you feel memory problems are causing you significant problems in your personal, marital, and/or professional life? If so, how? 4. Have you noted ongoing consistent memory loss? 5. Do you get lost walking or driving in neighborhoods you are very familiar? 6. Do you regularly forget common words you have used daily your whole life? 7. Do you sometimes talk “word salads” that you think are understandable but are not by others? 8. Do you ask the same question over and over again in brief spaces of time and have no idea you are doing it? 9. Who has noticed you may have memory problems? If so, what specific examples and concerns are mentioned? 10. Are you under significant stress in your life? 11.Do you have high blood pressure, insomnia, stroke history or other physical conditions that could relate to your memory loss?… If you answer yes to some of these questions, it is important you talk to your family doctor and a psychologist skilled in the assessment of memory problems to determine the extent of the problems and possible medical and mental health help to positively impact on the symptoms as much as possible.

Aug 21, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts ADHD, ASD, aspergers, assessments, autism, Love, psychologists, psychology, relationships

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY ONE-SIDED RELATIONSHIPS ARE SO EMOTIONALLY DEBILITATING

August 22, 2023

WHY ONE-SIDED RELATIONSHIPS ARE SO EMOTIONALLY DEBILITATING

Being in a one-sided relationship can be devastating for someone emotionally. Persons enter into relationships with a goal of feeling more fulfilled by sharing a lifetime of experiences with someone. In the one-sided relationship, this never occurs. The person is constantly trying to meet the mercurial needs of the person that can never be met.The goal posts keep being moved, regardless of how hard someone tries. The end result can often be anxiety, insomnia, depression, hypervigilant, and never feeling fulfilled emotionally. There is a deep feeling of discontent and even hopelessness in the soul of the person that can be emotionally debilitating . It also can cause physical problems such as high blood pressure and headaches.Typical signs you are in such a relationship would include that you never feel secure, you feel poorly after interactions, you try to have a more meaningful relationship that never goes anywhere, you do not share your feelings with your partner, you will have constant feelings of rejection, you are always afraid of upsetting your partner and feel you are always walking on eggshells, you are always wrong and even sometimes called stupid, your self-esteem is shattered, you constantly make excuses for your partner , and cherish the few crumbs of kindness you receive in an ocean of torment as something that will occur more frequently but never does. Is this you to one degree or another? Then now is the time to understand why this is happening and what you can do to overcome it. No one deserves to exist in a one-sided relationship that only criticism,poor self-esteem and unhappiness are the rewards.

Aug 14, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, adhd assessment, ADHD in schools, adult add, Adult ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dealing with life situations, Depression, east lansing, finances, finding jobs adhd, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, ohi in schools, procrastination, psychologist, talk radio, teachers understanding adhd, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO DEAL WITH ABRASIVE AND ARGUMENTATIVE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

HOW TO DEAL WITH ABRASIVE AND ARGUMENTATIVE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

Abrasive and argumentative people are focused on their outlooks. They are always ready to challenge anyone at any time over their views. Anger is often present. They may have personality disorders like Narcissism and Intermittent Explosive Personality Disorder. Others are just difficult people annoying everyone they encounter with their know-it- all attitude. Some of them may be this way because they were always challenged and put down when they were growing up and this is their defense mechanism to always challenge others before they even have a chance to challenge them. Still others think they are always right and others need to know they are not very smart and it is their job to let them know this whenever they choose. it also is true that abrasive and argumentative persons often have low self-esteem They feel better finding fault with others as a way to build up their feelings of inadequacy. Regardless of the many possible causes, ways to defend yourself against such difficult persons would include the following: 1.Do not argue with an argumentative person when they make negative comments 2.Drop out of a discussion that obviously is going nowhere. 3.Understand that behaviors of abrasive and argumentative persons are the result of long ingrained inappropriate social habits. 4.In spite of the oftentimes hurtful nature of their comments,do not take them seriously. 5.Consider offering support for persons when they show remorse and ask for advice 6.Do not insist on arguing with the person when you can prove you are right and they are wrong. They will become adamant and angry. 7.Interact with them as little as absolutely necessary. 8.If necessary,make it clear you will not be bullied when there is no other option…If you follow one or more of these suggestions,it is still very difficult to have positive social interactions with such persons. You may have to interact if you work with them or they are family members,friends of them or friends of friends.The main thing is not to let them impact you and your view of yourself. They are long time abrasive and argumentative by choice from negative habits they formed in the past. They have to deal with their problems. It is critical in order for you to maintain positive self-esteem that you not have others take you down with their abrasive and argumentative ways. Only you can give credence to who you are.

Aug 3, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, adhd assessment, ADHD in schools, adult add, Adult ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dealing with life situations, Depression, east lansing, finances, finding jobs adhd, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, ohi in schools, procrastination, psychologist, talk radio, teachers understanding adhd, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320AM discus WHEN “THINGS” DO NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY- Subscribe to our page!

August 1, 2023

It is a reasonable human desire to want things to make our life easier and more pleasant. It iscertainly true that having a nice home, car and other possessions such as electronic equipment,home furnishings, jewelry, and whatever else someone may desire to have can bring us a lot ofhappiness. It becomes a problem when we become obsessed with owning things and areconvinced by owning them we will be happy. And then,we are not happy after getting all these“things” we knew would make us happy. When this occurs,and it often does,persons need tofind internal aspects of themselves outside of their physical possessions to give greatermeaning to their lives. These would include learning new things,developing greaterspirituality,helping others,showing gratitude,focusing on being happy with what one has ratherthan always chasing the “thing” to make self happy,seeking out your purpose in life,find out whoyou really are,enjoying the moment one lives as it is all that is guaranteed in life,do not compareyour possessions with someone else,and enhance personal relationships with loved ones andfriends…A person’s world ruled by seeking happiness with owning “things” can be very lonelyand even downright depressing if one ends up alone or with shallow relationships because thisin effect can lead to the proverbial “love of gold” over personal development and lovingrelationships.

Jul 29, 2023 braccioj Blog 1320 am, add, ADHD, adhd assessment, ADHD in schools, adult add, Adult ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dealing with life situations, Depression, east lansing, finances, finding jobs adhd, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, ohi in schools, procrastination, psychologist, talk radio, teachers understanding adhd, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of1320AM discuss WHAT CHILDREN WITH ADHD WISH THEIR PARENTS & TEACHERS KNEW

We specialize in ADHD assessments and treatment. As a result, it is very common for us to work with children with ADHD who feel they are not understood by their parents. We also see this with adults who discuss problems they had growing up when,even when their parents were well-intentioned, they did not feel they were understood. As with children now,they were seen as lazy or purposely not trying to pay attention when they were talked to or asked to do things. This can easily occur with persons who have problems with lack of focus, inattention, and resulting procrastination. Children with ADHD have a lot to deal with themselves,let alone when dealing with parents who may very well love them, but not know how to help them and can try parenting strategies to help them that are counterproductive. In a non-technical way, ADHD persons are wired differently. It is not that they cannot focus, but they often focus on many things at the same time unless they have a great interest in something. This too often does not allow them to complete required activities in school or follow directions at home because they were asked to remember too many activities to do in a row and they usually get sidetracked and forget what they are supposed to do. Persons with ADHD can be thinking about many things at the same time, and appear not to be paying attention purposefully with say a boring conversation or something they have no interest in. They then easily drift off into other thoughts. This can be exasperating for both parents and the persons with ADHD. A further major problem with persons with ADHD is that they often have comorbid conditions of anxiety, depression,anger and low self-worth because they cannot function like the average person. Siblings and other children often mock or laugh at them and their parents can get quite angry when they do not understand they need support to overcome their problem areas and not anger,ridicule and unjustified and inappropriate discipline. In such situations, a trained therapist who is expert in ADHD Diagnosis and Treatment can be very helpful to all involved persons.

Jul 27, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, adhd assessment, adult add, Adult ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, finances, finding jobs adhd, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 discuss HOW TO OVERCOME TIME BLINDNESS

7-25-2023

How to overcome time blindness

Do you have the condition of TIME BLINDNESS? Even though a hallmark of ADHD,it is also common with persons with Autism, significant Anxiety,grief and Depression. It makes for a very difficult time for the person and those they interact with in all life activities. Punctuality is a trait highly respected and required to be successful in most settings. Is fact, approximately 15% of firings result from persons not being timely at work. Many persons with this condition may actually do a fine job, but lose their jobs because they are consistently late. Typical problems other than employment,even if with the best intentions, include constantly missing deadlines,not paying bills on time, forgetting important dates,not showing up for appointments or showing up very late or even the wrong time. This can be exasperating for other persons involved in their lives as well as for them. It can lead to not receiving a job, losing a job, hurting relationships and causing poor self esteem. Suggestions to overcome TIME BLINDNESS would include always wearing a watch,planning your day the day before in as specific detail as possible,do not allow the immediate interest of the moment to sabotage the day,avoid time traps electronic or with persons,have reminders to go off on your phone,start thinking of what you will do before the time you will begin,check off your daily activities as you complete them and add in breaks and additional time for projects to get them done and not end up rushing to complete them at the last minute.

Jul 22, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anger, Anxiety, bipolar, career change, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, narcisism, narcisist, neuropsychology, obsessive compulsive, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, raising children, retirement, self esteem, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY PERFECTIONISM OFTEN LEADS TO DEPRESSION

WHY PERFECTIONISM OFTEN LEADS TO DEPRESSION

If one thinks about it, it is not surprising that a perfectionist often ends up being depressed. Common symptoms of depression that a perfectionist experiences would include sadness, pessimism,negativity, painful memories of present and past less than perfect behavior,loss of pleasure,feeling guilty for perceived imperfections, poor self-esteem, very critical of self and feelings of worthlessness. Not all perfectionists experience all of these characteristics, but for sure, seeking and even demanding perfection in a very imperfect world can easily lead one to be unhappy with self, and then with most if not all other persons in their lives. Another cause of sadness for a pessimist is loneliness as they often have very poor relations with other persons. It is not bad enough that they expect perfection in themselves, but they also expect perfection in others. Because no one is perfect, and the perfectionist demands it, even slight imperfections can lead to anger and dismissal of persons as friends because they do not meet the perfectionistic standard…Strategies to reduce depression caused by perfectionism would include tolerance,humor,recognizing excellence is not a synonym for perfect,no one is perfect or anything else on earth,mindful positive thinking,replacing negative thoughts with positive ones and loving and accepting you as you are. A trained therapist aware of how to help a depressed person caused by their perfectionism might be considered and be helpful.

Jul 6, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety and catastrophizing, Breaking the cycle of catastrophizing, Catastrophic thinking, Catastrophizing, Catastrophizing and stress, Challenging catastrophic thoughts, Cognitive behavioral therapy for catastrophizing., Cognitive distortions, Coping with catastrophic thoughts, How to stop catastrophizing, Managing catastrophic thinking, Negative thinking patterns, Overthinking the worst, Strategies for overcoming catastrophizing, The impact of catastrophizing on mental health

Dr John Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss FREE YOURSELF FROM CATASTROPHIZING

July 4, 2023

FREE YOURSELF FROM CATASTROPHIZING

Catastrophizing is when a person believes the absolute worst will occur even when it is not at all accurate to reality but firmly believed. An example would be when a person believes they are always going to flunk their exams and never do. Even though this proves to be true over and over again,their catastrophizing never ends and they are always suffering high anxiety and even depression from their unjustified fears. Another example would be the employee who always gets good reviews but always unreasonably believes they are on the verge of being fired. A further example would be when a well liked person believes they will surely say or do something that good friends will no longer like them. It never happens but this does not stop them from catastrophizing that it soon will. Persons who catastrophize often have low self-esteem and fears about themselves and the course of their lives. As a result, they often have problems in some combination in such areas as generalized anxiety, social anxiety, depression, phobias,OCD, PTSD, sleeping disorders, and exaggerated pain and other physical concerns. The following are suggestions on what to do to free yourself from the psychological and often physical problem areas that result from catastrophizing: 1. Work on controlling the inner critic and be kind to yourself. 2.Be mindful of your positive traits and behaviors and work on realizing catastrophizing is a bad habit that has been limiting your ability to be happy in life. 3.Seek out supportive persons who recognize the goodness in you and help you be more realistic in your life reality. 4.Get plenty of sleep to reduce fatigue and what I call “stinking thinking”. 5.Do self-care physically and emotionally to enhance your self-esteem. Daily exercising and something as basic as deep breathing can be very helpful. 6.Take a realistic view of yourself and see the harm that catastrophizing has done to you personally and physically and replace these thoughts with positive realistic ones. 7.Keep in your mind you are using a magnifying glass to look for problems in yourself and psychologically making the proverbial “mountain out of a mole hill”. 8. Write out positive affirmations about yourself, read them regularly, commit them to memory, believe them, and live your life based on their reality. 9.If you feel spirituality could be helpful, seek out a priest or minister for support. 10. As you feel necessary, seek out a therapist who is an expert in Cognitive Behavior Therapy/CBT to help you restructure your thoughts in a way to minimize and eventually eliminate catastrophizing. 11.Talk to your family physician about possible medication to help with areas most likely relating to anxiety and depression… It often is found the combination of medication and therapy can be very helpful for persons who have problems with catastrophizing. Persons who catastrophize and use some of the strategies listed here to overcome it can be on the road to freeing themselves from it. Then there will predictably be a rise in self-esteem and reduction in fear,anxiety and other areas of mental health and physical health that can result from catastrophizing.

Jun 28, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Changing spouse/partner behavior, Conflict resolution techniques in partnerships, Diplomacy in relationships, Diplomatic approaches to addressing partner's habits, Effective communication in relationships, Negotiation strategies for relationship issues, Relationship diplomacy and compromiseBehavioral changes in romantic partnerships, Techniques for influencing partner behavior

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss DIPLOMACY IN CHANGING SPOUSE/PARTNER BEHAVIOR

June 27, 2023

The primary goal of a therapist is to help a person make the changes they have control of in their lives. An additional necessary component in a person’s life is to find ways to diplomatically request a spouse or partner to make desired changes they do not seem willing to make. Typical examples would be not being on time, not paying attention, always being on the cell phone or computer, not willing to discuss areas of concern, and maybe not even accepting there are problems, not eating together as a couple or family, not going out on dates, not worshiping together, or any other concern that can occur in a relationship. The important thing is how to address the area of concern diplomatically and not cause anger and resentment. These feelings may result, but the chances of them occurring are much smaller if you use diplomacy rather than what is perceived as a frontal attack mode. This is difficult to do because when we desire change and are not happy about something,it is too easy to appear to be attacking a person and not trying to find a resolution to a problem that is of concern to you. The first thing is to try to look at your area of concern from the perspective of your spouse. There may be a reason they are behaving the way they are and not willing to change. Once you fully understand the motivation, then it is important to determine the best way to diplomatically approach the area of concern and hopefully come up with a resolution that both of you find acceptable. It is important to present your concerns using the word “I” as opposed to “YOU”. For example, you can make a statement such as,“ I feel not connected to you when we are sitting together and you are constantly on your phone or on your computer and we are not having quality interaction”. Something not to say that could lead to an immediate confrontation would be, “You are disrespecting me by not interacting with me and always focusing on that ridiculous phone or computer. Your clueless insensitivity really makes me mad and even enraged.” The second statement will just lead to confrontation, and most likely there will not be a resolution; and if so, it will be one done with resentment that will cause problems in the relationship in one way or another. As a person who has worked with couples for decades, I have seen problems occur over and over again when diplomacy is not used when requesting a change in a spouse or partner. It also is important to note that even if you do use diplomacy after you have tried to put yourself in the shoes of your spouse to get their perspective, it is possible they will say no, and you must take this into account when you begin the discussion. There may be a change in the future, but for now you must realize this is a possible outcome. It also is possible you will get a partial change, but not the change that you fully desire. An example of this would be that your spouse is willing to spend an hour each evening with all electronics and other distractions off for quality interaction. You may desire far more than that, but must accept a partial change is better than no change. In life, success is best measured in the happy person by how much they gain and not how much they lose. That attitude combined with diplomacy can lead to many problem resolutions that otherwise could result in constant arguing and hurt feelings.

Jun 21, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, braccio, cognitive decline, cognitive functioning, Depression, east lansing, existentialism, hope, iq, meaning in life, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, wils, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 WILS discuss HOW TO ENHANCE COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT AS WE AGE

HOW TO ENHANCE COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT AS WE AGE June 20, 2023 A major concern persons have as we age is to keep our mental alertness and cognitive thinking abilities as finely honed as possible. Even though Alzheimer’s and dementia take a toll on millions of persons as we age, there is no reason we need to rush the process or try not to do whatever we can to keep our cognitive abilities to the highest level possible so we can live an independent life as long as possible. It is important throughout our lives to be active and using our brains. Even though an organ and not a muscle,the brain is like any muscle in the body and functions best when actively used. There is nothing worse for a person to do than to do nothing, and simply wait for life to come to them as they do not keep active physically or mentally. The person becomes like a dry leaf in the wind being blown from one place to another with no fixed direction. The obvious solution is to be active physically with a solid exercise routine, eat nutritious food, get enough sleep, and always be doing things to keep the mind active. Examples would be volunteering,maintaining employment,meeting with friends and family, church activities, social activities, card games,reading,learning classes, and any other activity that keeps us involved with people and keeping our mind sharp. These are the things we need to be doing. In reality,it is quite simple. But for too many persons, they choose what one might call “The road of least resistance”, and do not keep their minds in tiptop shape. My advice to them from a mental health perspective, which also impacts on them physically,is to keep both the body and mind in constant use as much as possible. While age can clearly have an impact on us physically,and as I stated earlier, there is no need we have to rush along the process; and as a result, lose years of life that could be filled with learning and enjoying life to the fullest. As I have often said, life is a one time shot for us to use the time that makes up our individual lives as best we can with the primary goal to be as effective and happy as possible.

Jun 15, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts ADHD, ASD, aspergers, assessments, autism, Love, psychologists, psychology, relationships

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss NEGATIVE IMPACT UNDIAGNOSED ASD CAN HAVE ON RELATIONSHIPS

June 13, 2023

NEGATIVE IMPACT UNDIAGNOSED ASD CAN HAVE ON RELATIONSHIPS

Persons with high functioning Autism Sprectrum Disorder or ASD can have difficulty in their ability to develop close relationships with others and vice versa. This is because high functioning persons with ASD often do not read social cues and have problems connecting socially with others. The social deficits and impairments lead to them often being mocked or seen as odd non-caring persons. This can particularly be difficult and painful in family relationships where parents,spouses,children or siblings strongly desire a close relationship and misinterpret their apparent aloofness as signs of lack of interest or even lack of caring or desired social availability. In reality,they often lack the soft social skills and awareness to have close intimate relationships. They also may be fearful of social relationships due to a lifetime of rejection and misunderstanding due to their inability to effectively socially interact. Things are improving for persons with ASD as we as a society are more tuned into the reality of ASD and it’s impact on the person. There are now an estimated 5.4 million adults with ASD. The awareness that high functioning ASD persons are our friends,acquaintances, family members and even parents can lead to more sensitivity and awareness of the issues they experience every day of their lives. Obviously,the symptoms vary in intensity and impact in their interpersonal relationships. Typical symptoms of persons with high functioning ASD would include the following: 1.Difficulty relating socially. This can include family,spouse and children. 2.Intense interest in certain things. 3.Great desire for predictable routines. 4.Problems processing emotional interactions. 5.Promlems expressing inner feelings. 6.Lectures rather than communicates. 7.Speaks in a monotone voice. 8.Often also can have anxiety,depression,ADHD and learning delays.

Jun 7, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with family, dealing with guilt, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, emotional pain, guilt, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss Positive and Negative Guilt

June 6, 2023 Guilt is a very difficult thing for most persons to get right. Therapists will tell you that a good percentage of their clients suffer from some form of guilt. The problem is knowing what is positive guilt versus negative guilt. Positive guilt is when a person is aware they have done something wrong to another person and tries to make amends as best as can be done,and then let’s it go. This can be done by directly talking to the person and indicating they have done wrong and trying to do whatever can best be done to overcome the harm that has been caused and make things right. Problems occur when a person carries guilt even after they have done all they can to correct it. This does not mean the person has not done wrong, but to carry guilt for something that is resolved or cannot be resolved is a waste of time and can drag a person down. This does not mean the person does not have some bad feelings about what has been done, but is aware to carry guilt around will drag them down emotionally and interfere with their own psyche and interactions with other persons. It also can result in someone playing the role of martyr, which is not healthy for anyone involved. The martyr uses guilt to control a person with guilt that never ends. Negative guilt is the type that manifests itself with poor self-esteem, unrealistic expectations of what one can do, and often feeling guilty for things they have no control. An example would be something a mayor has done in a city that somehow the citizen feels they are guilty. To feel bad about something that a mayor has done is reasonable, but it is not reasonable to carry guilt and feel bad for something they have no control. It is a clear waste of time and can lead not only to poor self esteem but also anxiety,shame,social withdrawal,insomnia and depression. Another example would be if a relative or friend does something wrong and somehow the person carries the guilt for the act or behavior when in reality they have no control over what has occurred. A person with reasonable guilt is able to recognize when they do wrong and the recognition of what they have done and the attempt to resolve it will build strength, not only in themselves but in their relationships with others. This is the goal of a person who means well, but is aware that human beings fail and the best of us make mistakes that can hurt other persons. It is also important persons learn from what occurred and not do it again.

May 31, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, adhd assessment, adult add, Adult ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, finances, finding jobs adhd, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss FINDING YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE IS CRITICAL TO YOUR SELF ESTEEM AS A HUMAN BEING

FINDING YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE

Considering life on earth is a one time experience,each of us needs to seek out our purpose that can give us maximum happiness while helping others as best we can and not harming others. When you consider the anger,anxiety and depression so many people have,it is clear literally millions of persons have not found their purpose in life. A simple way to determine if you have meaningful purpose in life is simply to ask yourself,”Am I happy and satisfied with my life”. If not,then you need to determine what would give you purpose and resulting happiness. Others can advise and help you,but only you can determine this yourself. You are the pilot of the voyage only you can take in your life. While there are many others,the following singularly or combined are typical factors that lead to a life with purpose: 1. Faith in God, and our eternal life thereafter. 2.Having a meaningful relationship with a partner in marriage, or a significant other relationship. 3.Raising children to be loving, caring, and effective human beings. 4. Achieving success in sports, education, broadcasting,computers,medicine, law, engineering, farming, skilled trades, etc. to your maximum potential or your chosen level. 5. Making a difference in the lives of others by helping them to be happy and successful human beings finding their purpose in life.

May 23, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, adult add, Adult ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, finances, finding jobs adhd, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss LOVING AND EFFECTIVE GRANDPARENTS RESPECT PARENTAL RIGHTS

May 23, 2023

There are few things more joyful in life than spending time to love on our grandchildren. We want to pamper,hug and spoil then whenever we are with them. However,problems can occur when grandparents interfere with the parenting of their children. Problems can be even worse when interfering with the parenting of the son or daughter-in-law. It is critical grandparents respect how their children raise their children and not interfere. As grandparents made errors in parenting,so will their children. As grandparents learned to parent,even though making many mistakes,they learned along the way as will their children. Giving advice is not recommended unless asked for or there is real danger for the child. I can attest in both my experiences as a long time Psychologist and walking the road of life that many grandparents have little or no contact with their grandchildren because they tried to replace their children as parents or were seen as intrusive and interfering. The following are statements to avoid that can be considered toxic: YOU DID THAT WRONG…I WOULD HAVE HANDLED THAT VERY DIFFERENTLY…LET ME RESOLVE THIS PROBLEM…YOU WILL NEVER BE A GOOD PARENT… I RAISED YOU TO BE A BETTER PARENT THAN YOU ARE.. YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR OWN CHILDREN… YOU ARE NOT TREATING THEM RIGHT…YOU WILL DESERVE THEIR HATRED WHEN THEY GROW UP…I DO NOT MEAN TO INTERFERE,BUT….

May 18, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, adhd assessment, adult add, Adult ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, finances, finding jobs adhd, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio Mike Austin of 1320 AM WILS discuss LIVING IN THE NOW- Subscribe to our page!

May 16, 2023 Live in THE NOW and enjoy it is my advice to one and all. Life is an ongoing one way ticket to wherever our abilities,efforts and opportunities take us. It is important to remember the one way ticket has an inescapable ending. Yesterday is a memory and the future may or may not happen for us. “Here today and gone tomorrow”— is an adage to always keep in mind. Goals are critical for ongoing happiness in THE NOW,but we must enjoy the ride of life. I would predict no one at the end of life says the following: 1.I WISH I WORRIED MORE ABOUT THINGS THAT DID NOT MATTER OR NEVER HAPPENED. 2.I WISH I SPENT LESS TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS I HAVE LOVED IN LIFE. 3.I WISH I HAD MORE SENSELESS ANGER AND ARGUMENTS WITH PEOPLE THAT LOVED AND CARED FOR ME. 4.I WISH I TOOK MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO SABOTAGE MY HAPPINESS IN LIFE BY NOT ATTEMTING TO REALIZE MY DREAMS. We need to tune out all the negative and distracting noise we can in our electronically connected world. With mindfulness,we need to notice and live each day enjoying what we experience. Each day is a kaleidoscope of experiences we can mindfully be aware and joyfully experience. The alternative is to dwell in the past or focus on the future in a way THE NOW is squandered and not lived and enjoyed. Do not let that happen to you. You can never COULD HAVE,SHOULD HAVE,OUGHT TO HAVE DONE SOMETHING. The past is over. All we can do is enjoy the good memories in THE NOW and learn from the bad ones.

May 11, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, adhd assessment, adult add, Adult ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, finances, finding jobs adhd, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss SURVIVING A SPOUSE/PARTNER WITH ADHD

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May 9, 2023

SURVIVING A SPOUSE/PARTNER WITH ADHD

This is a followup discussion from last week on how adults with ADHD often feel misunderstood. Today we discuss how a spouse/partner survives the lack of focus,inattention,procrastination,clutter,chaos,irritability and seeming lack of caring in some combination that a person with ADHD brings to the long term relationship. Data shows divorces are twice as likely when a spouse/partner has ADHD. The important thing to remember is that your ADHD spouse is in common language wired differently. Together youneed to honestly look at the needs of each other and decide what strategies you can use to best live and love each other. One thing not to do is to become the parent in the relationship. Giving cues on things that need to get done or to begin shortly can be helpful as long as they are respected as helpful and undertaken. Recognize distraction may not be disrespectful but accept it within acceptable limits. Recognize irritability may be a symptom and accept it as long as you are not disrespected. Being chronically late or not getting things done on time can be exasperating as can be forgetting important dates and agreed upon activities. Together you can work out strategies to overcome these common problem areas. If you cannot overcome the frustrations that result in these or other problems tigger,singly and/or as a couple you can seek out professional expert therapists in ADHD.

May 4, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, adhd assessment, adult add, Adult ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, finances, finding jobs adhd, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss ADULTS WITH ADHD OFTEN FEEL MISUNDERSTOOD

Subscribe to our page! 05-02-2023 A major part of our practice relates to ADHD evaluations. ADHD evaluations for adults in our offices as opposed to children are a growing percentage that now comprises at least half or more of them. Diagnosed adults often feel misunderstood due to a recognized medical health condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-5 that many still do not believe exists. To the contrary,they see persons with ADHD symtoms of lack of focus,inattention,distractibility,chaos,forgetfulness ,procrastination,not paying attention in conversations or butting into them as being self-centered and insensitive and use ADHD to excuse their not achieving or being a good person overall. To reinforce these negative thoughts,at times the person with ADHD can be very effective and not showing some or all of the ADHD symtoms. This is because when highly motivated to do something,which is critical,the person with ADHD can function effectively. The problem is it is very hard for the person with ADHD to find things that generate the attention and interest levels to the point there is success by being committed to the activity. Games,sports and specific academic areas can reach these interest levels. Reported successful persons with ADHD would include Bill Gates,Michael Jordon,Albert Einstein,John F. Kennedy,Jim Carey and Michael Phelps

Apr 19, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, authoritative, braccio, Depression, iMovie, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 WILS discuss DIAGNOSING ADULT AUTISM Spectrum Disorder(ASD)

4-18-2023 Subscribe to our YouTube page Autism was not added as a diagnosis until 1980 into the DSM-3. I was already functioning as a Full License Psychologist at that time! The definition has evolved into the current DSM-5. Over these years since 1980,diagnosis and treatment have been overwhelmingly related to children. This is changing as more and more persons are being diagnosed by Psychologists and Psychiatrists experienced with Autism Spectrum Disorder(ASD) Diagnosis. In our office we have been consistently getting more such referrals the past few years. In 2020,the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimated that 2.4% of the adult population has ASD. it appears this percentage will continue to increase as our society becomes more knowledgeable on the condition. Many high functioning adults with ASD have not been diagnosed because they have been able to mask their symptoms or have never been challenged in their life -space beyond their limited social skills when compared to the average person. Common characteristics of ASD would include the following: 1.Having difficulty understanding what others are thinking, or feeling. 2.Finding it hard to develop friendships or preferring to be alone 3.Becoming very anxious and awkward in social situations. 4.Appearing rude, blunt, or not interested in what others are saying. 5.Finding it hard to express feelings appropriately in social settings with groups or individuals. 6.Taking words, statements, and idioms literally. 7.Having certain routines that are consistent day after day. 8.Not understanding the rules of social interaction and saying inappropriate things with no awareness they are inappropriate. 9.Obsessive amount of time spent on a specific topic, and only wanting to study all about it and discuss it with others who may have no interest. 10.Doing repetitive actions over and over again such as rocking in a chair, tapping fingers or putting hands consistently through the hair. 11.Speaking in a noticeably monotone or hollow-like tone…A problem with appropriate diagnosis is that other conditions relating to anxiety,depression,OCD and cognitive impairment have a number of the same symptoms. It also is true many persons with ASD can also have an additional diagnosis. We have found this to be particularly true with ADHD,anxiety disorders and OCD.

Apr 13, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, anorexia, Anxiety, binge eating, bullimia, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, eating disorders, empty nest, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss BINGE EATING DISORDER

April 11, 2023 Subscribe to our YouTube page!

Binge Eating Disorder is often a very solitary condition where the person with the condition has depression,anxiety and low self esteem. Even if it only impacts three percent of the population in the United States,it is a real problem if you are one of the nearly 4,000,000 persons with this condition. Common characteristics of Binge Eating Disorder would include the following: 1.Eating alone or in secret. 2.Eating when not hungry. 3.Feeling a loss of control over eating. 4.Eating quickly. 5.History of binge eating associated with it reducing anxiety,depression,loneliness,failure,OCD tendencies. 6.Feeling anxiety,guilt,depression,shame due to the binge eating. 7.Failing on one diet after another. 8.Obesity occurs with many persons. 9.Continuing to eat even when uncomfortably full. 10.Binge eating at least 1 day a week for 3 months…If one feels they have Binge Eating Disorder and they cannot control it,a good person to start with is the family physician. This is particularly true when a parent becomes aware their child has it. Treatment often includes a team including a dietitian,medical doctor and trained therapist with eating disorders.

Apr 5, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM SIGNS A MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP IS OVER OR COMING TO AN END

Subscribe to our YouTube page! 04-04-2023

The headlines generally are about fiery and angry divorces that never seem to end. A prime example of such a couple ending a relationship would be the defamation case between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Spouses often seem more like combatants who can for the rest of their lives literally detest each other. While that sadly is too often true,what we are discussing today are the millions of divorces or relationships that end simply because they slowly have lost the love,energy and excitement that propelled them into fulfilling relationships filled with love and satisfaction. Sometimes the progress of relationship erosion is barely payed attention to until the feelings and desire are gone to save the marriage or relationship. The unfortunate result is a quiet and uneventful ending often filled with disappointment and a difficult rupture for children and loved ones. The following would be signs that the relationship is over, or is coming to an end: 1.Spouses/partners feel a lack of love and caring.2.Lack of sharing communication about their lives. 3.Building major parts of their lives away from the other. 4.Not planning for the future with mutual activities or dreams. 5.Lack of physical and emotional intimacy. 6.Not caring for the needs of the other. 7.New boundaries within the relationship building up. 8.Wanting to always be with others outside of the marriage/relationship or within it. 9.Insensitivity on a regular basis. 10.No desire to save the marriage or relationship.

Mar 31, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, adult add, Adult ADHD, Anxiety, being better student, braccio, bringing out best in children add, bringing out best in children adhd, center for adhd, children with adhd, east lansing, john braccio, michigan state, parenting and add, parenting and adhd, parents and add, psychologist, psychology, school anxiety, Self Help, student, studying, test anxiety, test taking, working with adhd

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM WHY MEN ARE UNABLE TO COMMIT TO MEANINGFUL LOVE RELATIONSHIPS

Subscribe to our YouTube page! March 28, 2023- Why men cannot commit to a meaningful love relationship,even if they want one,is a common topic of discussion. Most persons have known one or more. The pain and frustration they cause to potential partners can be devastating because they often come on as sincere persons seeking love and commitment. Except for the inability to enter a meaningful love relationship,there are many different reasons they cannot commit. There is not a one size fits all explanation. The reasons are actually deeply embedded in the psyche of the person. They would include the following: 1.Selfishness/Narcissism. 2.Trust Issues. 3.Fear of failure/rejection. 4.Fear being trapped. 5.Fear of emotional dependence. 6.Plan for failure. 7.Seems tedious or too much work. 8.Only in love with the chase. 9.Insecurity. 10.Other priorities in life. 11.Cannot give up the single life. 12.Previous bad relationships. 13.A need to be able to leave the relationship whenever desired.

Mar 21, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts add, ADHD, adult add, Adult ADHD, Anxiety, being better student, braccio, bringing out best in children add, bringing out best in children adhd, center for adhd, children with adhd, east lansing, john braccio, michigan state, parenting and add, parenting and adhd, parents and add, psychologist, psychology, school anxiety, Self Help, student, studying, test anxiety, working with adhd

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHAT ARE PANIC ATTACKS AND HOW TO COPE WITH THEM

March 21, 2023

Subscribe to our YouTube page! A panic attack is a sudden intense fear that triggers severe physical and emotional symptoms. They are often not predictable and very intense. The person feels they may die and may end up going to the emergency room at the hospital out of fear they are having a heart attack or something so horrible is happening to them that they cannot cope with the symptoms. Typical symptoms include shortness of breath, nausea,trembling,abdominal cramping, chest pain, dizziness, numbness, or tingling sensation, and even feelings of detachment from reality. Another problem with panic attacks is once a person is over one, the great fear is that they are going to have another one. Common causes of panic attacks would be genetics, overuse of caffeine, or alcohol, major stress, and personality traits that result in greater worry,negativity and more sensitivity to stress. Panic attacks often seem to come on with no warning and very quickly. Over time,persons can generally figure what triggers them. One of the worst things about the panic attack is that they do not often seem to have a cause. As a result,they can be very frightening because of an unknown cause,sudden onset and fear of dying. Anyone who has had panic attacks will tell you how emotionally and physically devastating they are at the same time.. Solutions to panic attacks would include the following: 1.Limit intake of caffeine and alcohol. 2.Get sufficient sleep. 3.Daily exercise. 4.Determine the triggers that bring on the panic attacks. 5.Confront the panic attack when it occurs. 6.Do deep breathing over and over again when you feel the panic attack coming on and throughout the panic attack. 7.Talk to someone during the panic attack who can let you know all is going to be fine. 8.Recognize the panic attack is not dangerous and will not kill you in spite of what you are feeling. 9.You need to know ,in spite of whatever you believe,you are creating your panic attack and can think your way out of it. 10.As needed, meet with your family physician to discuss anti-anxiety medication.

Mar 14, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, braccio, cheating, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, friendships, hope, infidelity, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss FALSE BELIEFS ON MARITAL AFFAIRS

03-14-2023-Considering how common marital affairs are,it is amazing how many false beliefs there are about them. I have found this to be true since beginning to work with couples back in the 70s to the present. Common false beliefs would include the following: 1.Closely monitoring the whereabouts of a spouse will eliminate marital affairs. It may help,but someone determined to have affairs will have them. 2.Affairs do not occur when there is good intimacy in the home. Even though the chances of marital affairs are less in such cases,they still occur. 3.Spouses who cheat do not love their spouses. While most would agree with this,it is sadly not always true. This is particularly true with the “one nighters” or brief flings. 4.Infidelity is just about sex. This is not true. Spouses often have affairs to show they are still young,desirable,attractive or to enhance their ego. There also may be anger,wanting to feel loved,need for affection or showing control. 5.Spouses who cheat once will always cheat again. While the probabilities are higher in such cases,it is often not the case. The possible shame,remorse and possibility of losing economic power,a spouse and family can be so powerful that once is often enough. 6.Marriage cannot survive a marital affair. While this is often the case,it is not always true. Hard work and total honesty as a couple can reset the marriage on the loving course it started out. Marriages also survive due to finances,low self-esteem of the spouse,lack of love,family expectations and responsibilities.

Mar 11, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts being a father, boundaries, Children, dealing with children, discipline, Parenting, psychology, relationships

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING A GOOD FATHER FIGURE

3-7-2023- SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOUTUBE PAGE! This is the fourth segment I am doing on fathers/dads.The topics covered were the joys of being a father,why fathers abandon their children and what makes a good father. Today the topic is the obvious importance of having good, caring, and loving father figures for modeling along with financial and emotional support. Mike and I will kick some of these thoughts around. He also is a father/dad very interested in the role of fathers. Children clearly look to their fathers for modeling, security, unconditional love, and availability from birth through their teenage years and often beyond that for the rest of their lives. The data are clear for various generations that daughters with good relationships with their fathers tend to seek and choose responsible men like their fathers and tend to have more successful marriages. They understand appropriate and inappropriate treatment and are more tolerant of the normal problems and concerns that occur in the best of marriages. Boys with involved fathers have the opportunity to spend time with them and learn how to be an effective male model and grow to be successful fathers and spouses themselves. I think it is a safe thing to say we are in a society where way too many children are being raised without fathers, and this is most unfortunate and sometimes very destructive to the children except in cases with abusive and destructive fathers. Leaving those bad fathers aside,we can certainly say there is a need for our society to encourage and support good father figures in the lives of their children, and hopefully a married situation, but if not, at least in the situation where the father and the mother of the child can interact in a civil fashion, and each work directly to best enhance the opportunity of the child succeeding in life with reduced anxiety,depression and feelings of alienation or abandonment. Anyone who has had a good father/dad figure knows how critical he has been in their personal development. They are apt to want to continue this type of behavior with their children. Fathers who have not had good father figure modeling experiences, need to experience them in churches,family members,schools, sporting centers, or wherever good modeling can be made available so they can see what good fathering is and try to pick up those skills and use them themselves. As a society, we need to encourage fathers to be responsible father figures when having children and encourage them to develop lifelong relationships filled with love and caring. The rewards for fathers,couples,children and overall society are incalculable with good father figures.

Mar 2, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts being a father, boundaries, Children, dealing with children, discipline, Parenting, psychology, relationships

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHAT MAKES A GOOD FATHER

02-28-2023- Subscribe to our YouTube page! Today is our third of four segments on fathers. Children of good fathers may debate what is the top quality of a father,but there is little doubt that certain traits come forward. Children who have or had good loving fathers regularly talk about the good times they had in their relationships. Those that have not had good fathers often are quite upset about this and feel abandoned or not respected or cared for. It puts a big hole in their lives and resentment that can last a lifetime. The following would be the typical characteristics that one would expect to have in a good father. Not that all fathers have all of these traits, but some combination of them is what would be necessary: 1.Availability in good and bad times is critical. 2.Protection from persons or situations that could be dangerous or harmful for the child. 3.Showing unconditional love and affection. 4.Good modeling of life and work ethics/behaviors that the father wants for the children. 5.Teaching a strong sense of spirituality and/or moral code to help the child deal with the difficulties and the seemingly senseless problems that occur in the world. 6.Have humor and laughter to enjoy family life. 7.Be respectful of the mother whether married or not.8.Be tolerant of mistakes and admit your own. 9.Teach the child the importance of having a balance in life between family life and work life. 10.Model and teach kindness to others and strong family commitment…When fathers have good relationships with their children as they grow up,they will happily continue for a lifetime of ongoing good memories.

Feb 24, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts being a father, boundaries, Children, dealing with children, discipline, Parenting, psychology, relationships

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY FATHERS ABANDON THEIR CHILDREN

Subscribe to our YouTube page! – This is the second of four segments on fathers and parenting. Abandonment of a child by a father is a tragedy for the child specifically but also for the father and society as a whole. Children need and deserve love and caring from both parents who bring them into the world. Reasons fathers abandon children are many and would include the following: 1.Feeling inadequate as a parent and feeling the child is better off without them. 2.Horrible relationship with the mother. 3.Indifferent or no relationship with the mother. 4.Legally squeezed by distance or very limited time with the child. 5.Narcissism/total selfishness. 6.Substance abuse. 7.Immaturity. 8.No desire or refusal to pay child support. 9.Belief paying child support is sufficient. 10.Blended families problems. 11.Physical and/or emotional abuse. 12.Workaholic with no time for children. 13.Parental alienation. 14.Divorce. 15.Poverty. 16.Spouse or partner strongly resisting father’s involvement with his child.

Feb 21, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts mass shootings, mass shootings michigan, Michigan State Shooting, Michigan State University, ptsd, shooting michigan state, trauma, violence in schools

Dr. John Braccio joins the Drive WIth Jack to discuss the aftermath of the Michigan State murders

Feb 14, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts mass shootings, Michigan State Shooting, Michigan State University, trauma, violence in schools

Today Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss MASSACRE AT MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY

February 14, 2023- Last night a murderer killed 3 students and injured 5 others on the campus of Michigan State University. It is hard to believe such evil lives in the heart of a human being. Dr. Braccio discusses the situation with insights on the impact such a massacre has on people, what people can do to overcome the psychological impact of it, and the difficulty in how identifying and stop such evil persons from doing their evil deeds.

Feb 8, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discussTHE JOYS OF BEING A FATHER-subscribe to our YouTube page!

02-07-2023 Today is a shout-out for the joys of being a father. There are few things more joyful than being a father. Whether the father believes from a spiritual perspective a child was sent from God for them to raise to be a good human being, or from a secular perspective nature has provided them a child to raise to be a good human being,the joy of being involved in bringing a new human being into the world is breathtaking and as exciting as it can get. Even sometimes the majesty of seeing a child being born can cause sheer amazement. Even though the mother carries the child, the father is clearly directly involved in the process and what joy when the father sees a child for the first time! While there will be many tears along the way in trying to best raise their child, the choice of being a father and raising your own child can overwhelm anything negative. What a wonderful life-role it is to be a loving father with children. What joy to see a little baby laughing with you or a child thinking you are a strong hero or running to the door yelling papa to hug you when you enter the home from work. I must add,what I say here is impacted by the fact I am the father of two remarkable children. With that said,I believe there are countless fathers around the world who equally love their children and greatly enjoy or have enjoyed raising them until they are successfully launched into their lives.

Feb 1, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM HOW TO RAISE SUCCESSFUL CHILDREN- Subscribe to our YouTube Page!

January 31, 2023 In an age where there is so much competition for the attention of our children, it is important that good parenting take place through monitoring and screening all the input coming in from all directions. This occurs when parents are aware of what is needed to help their children be as successful as they can be in all phases of their lives. The following are the types of traits and skills that need to be reinforced and modeled to have the best opportunity for our children to succeed: 1.Honesty. 2.Self-control. 3.Confidence in self. 4.Curiosity to learn. 4.Perseverance. 5.Positive mantras to live by. 6.Empathy and understanding of others. 7.Optimism versus pessimism. 8.Ongoing honest and sincere encouragement and affirmations for positive behaviors and attitudes. 9.Consistency in rules,routines and expectations. 10.Help develop authenticity on who they are as they grow and develop. 11.Learn to celebrate success of others and not be jealous. 12.Always try again, after the many failures everyone encounters in their lives. 13.Accept their own mistakes and do not blame others. 14.Trying to do your best is being successful. 15.Be reasonable in self expectations. 16.Take time to smell the roses and enjoy the quiet moments of thinking and spiritual development. 17.Make time to help others in a way that can have a positive impact. Just one smile can change the course of another person’s day. 18.Help develop strong personal interaction skills. 19.Reasonable use of computer usage. 20.Encourage positive and supportive friendships. They are critical to a person’s future success. They fuel and reinforce each other in their successful lives.

Jan 24, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anger, anger control, anger management, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, Hypnosis, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, meditation, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, relaxation, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying, yoga

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss Dr Braccio & Mike Austin HOW TO HELP A LOVED SPOUSE/PARTNER TRYING TO OVERCOME UNREASONABLE ANGER

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January 24, 2023

Anger is a normal emotion someone feels when frustrated or feeling some level of mistreatment or misunderstanding. Anger can be helpful when protecting self or others from danger and unfair treatment. When someone has problems controlling their anger and relationships suffer or even end,then a person has unreasonable anger that must be controlled. For clarification,I am not talking about anger that results in physical abuse,or ongoing bullying,demeaning and sarcastic treatment. Loving persons cannot be around such abusive persons. We are talking here about when spouses/partners show unreasonable anger and want you to help them overcome an anger problem they acknowledge and want to overcome. Both need to recognize anger is often a secondary emotion that results from such things as fear, depression, jealousy, low self-esteem, high anxiety, substance abuse, family issues, societal expectations,and employment issues. Once the two of you have figured out the causes of the unreasonable anger, the following things can be done to help your loved one overcome it: 1.Identify the triggers for the anger and replace them with healthy ones. 2.Actively listen to what bothers them to fully understand it. 3.Always try to be as calm as possible. 4.Change the focus of a discussion that is going nowhere. 5.Allow them emotional space as needed when they are working out their anger. 6.Set boundaries for what you will accept and not accept that both of you understand and agree. 7.Make supportive statements. 8.As needed, strongly support them to seek professional help from an experienced therapist in anger management. 9.Support sought for spiritual growth and support. 10.Make sure in the process you look after your own emotional well-being. 11.Do not become co-dependent if the person does not change and you continue over and over again to put up with the anger they choose to not overcome. This is especially true if the anger is directed at you.

Jan 19, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, Love, mental health students, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, resilience, school shootings, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, uvalde, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO EMOTIONALLY WEATHER THE DEATH OF OUR LOVING PARENTS

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There are few things in life more emotionally painful and harder to get over than the death of our loving parents. I personally have lost both parents and think of them and our experiences together on a regular basis since their passing 41 years and 24 years ago respectively. Even for those who had rocky relationships with their parents,the loss is still very significant. The person in effect is an orphan losing their life giving parents who not only brought them into the world but often raised and loved them unconditionally up until their deaths. While grieving is a very personal thing,the emotional pain is intense and loaded with emotional minefields. The following are suggestions on how to emotionally deal with the death of loving parents: 1.Take care of your own emotional needs. Be aware your emotions will be on an emotional roller coaster. 2.Crying and emotionally letting it all out is fine. 3.Do not let anyone but yourself determine how you will grieve and how long it will last. The course of grieving is totally unique with each person. 4.Talk and reminisce with family and friends about your parents. 5.Find ways to remember your parents with memories and physical momentos of theirs. 6.Set up future family get togethers as positive anchor points to remember your parents as a family. 7.Be open to asking for emotional support. No one is a totally self-sufficient island. 8.As you feel appropriate,seek out support groups for grieving to interact with persons experiencing similar grieving experiences. 9.As you feel appropriate,seek out an experienced therapist familiar with parental loss grieving.

Jan 13, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, Self Help, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss HOW TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF A PERSON YOU CARE FOR IN SUBSTANCE ABUSE RECOVERY

1-10-2023

Substance abuse is a problem for millions of Americans. Over 110,000 person died of drug overdose in 2022. Fentanyl is the number one cause of deaths in the United States between the ages of 18-45. These numbers do not include alcohol and other drug related deaths and problems that plague the country. It destroys not only the lives of the persons with the addiction, but impacts all those around them who love and care for them. We want to help persons in sobriety to end the addiction and return to the person they were and can be. Many of us are aware of situations where parents have had children taken away from them or must submit to supervised visitation restrictions due to addiction. Most of us know of persons who have lost jobs and had marriages destroyed. Or persons who have worn out their welcome to family,children and friends by constant lying,running around with other addicts,stealing and asking for money that leads to continued drug use. Additionally, addictive persons lose all sense of right and wrong and can get involved in illegal activities they never would have without addiction. Sadly,this can lead to criminal records and often times of incarceration. While this bleak view of addiction is sadly accurate, when a person is in sobriety and overcoming the addiction,it is important we offer as much support as we can to those we love and care for. While it is important for the person without an addiction to try to understand the causes of addiction, my point here is to give basic suggestions on how someone can be supportive of the person in sobriety and needing all the support available: 1.As appropriate,let the person know you do love and care for them as human beings. 2.Sincerely support their sobriety efforts with encouragement. 3.Call them for general discussion and talking about things other than just sobriety. 4.Let them know everyone needs help at times. 5.Let them know they are not alone. They can call you any time. 6.Invite them to events with family and friends and even just with you to get them away from loneliness and temptation. 7.Recognize in your own mind that addiction is a disease and not a mental health defect. 8.Check in regularly even if just with a friendly message of hello. 9.Be aware and sympathetic to the temptation to return to using and being around other users is tremendously powerful when feeling isolated with not much hope. 10.Always give hope and indicate now is the beginning of their lives. The past is a memory. 11.Let them know you are proud of them and their efforts. 12.At times,just listen.

Jan 4, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss STOP OVERSHARING INAPPROPRIATE INFORMATION IN SOCIAL INTERACTIONS WHEN FEELING SOCIALLY AWKWARD AND SOCIALLY ANXIOUS

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January 4, 2022

Let us begin by eliminating the narcissist who always wants to share information with an often seductive and always deceitful purpose in mind. The oversharing of persons who have social awkwardness and social anxiety has nothing in common with the self-serving communications of the narcissist. In fact,I have often found persons who are socially awkward and socially anxious are very sensitive and caring persons…A common problem for the socially awkward and socially anxious person is to overshare information in an inappropriate manner that makes the other person feel uncomfortable and makes them afterwards upset with themselves about how much information was inappropriately shared. This happens when someone may be anxious when the conversation does not seem to be going anywhere and they feel the need to fill it in with information that may go far beyond what would be appropriate in such a situation. For example, if in the checkout lane at the grocery store and someone asks you how you are and you start talking in detail about all the problems you are having with your spouse. This would not be appropriate. To do this with a co-worker or acquaintance would be worse. Persons do this often without thinking about possible negative consequences in relationships or making other persons uncomfortable when sharing too much about themselves. This information can even be used against them. Some persons also do this too often when trying too fast to move along a relationship and turn the person off. Another reason persons do this who are socially anxious is they worry about how they are being perceived and feel the need to be liked and wrongfully believe this can be best done by giving what they erroneously believe is an authentic presentation of how they are feeling. Being authentic is quite different from sharing information that is not appropriate. If this continues happening to you over and over again even when you start picking up cues they are uncomfortable with all the information you are sharing,this can become a big problem with the quality of your social interactions and even friendships. If this is a problem you are having, and it is more of a common problem than you might think, the following are suggestions on what to do to limit oversharing inappropriate information: 1.Think before you speak. Always have in mind what are appropriate and inappropriate things to say. 2.If in doubt or anxious about where a conversation is going or if there is silence, simply have some questions to continue the discussion rather than rambling on giving too much information. 3.Slow down the pace of the conversation when you are speaking to have more control over what you say. Too often,persons ramble on because of the need they feel to continue the conversation. 4.If using social media, think before you send messages to better determine what is appropriate to say or not say. 5.If you realize you are entering into a conversation that is going the wrong direction, shift the conversation and try to talk about something else. 6.Keep a journal of your conversations and see if there is a pattern to who and what you overshare and when you do it. You can use this information to help you not do it any more or at least begin to make it occur far less frequently. Your journal is a link into yourself to try to analyze and find why you are sharing the information with persons and start better monitoring the information you share at a global level. This will over time hopefully lead to a new communication style with persons. 7.You are far better off to feel awkward in a conversation and not overshare than feel guilty for what you said. 8.Talk to family,friends and persons you trust and ask them when they feel you have overshared information that could be seen as inappropriate and/or negative for you. 9.If you feel the need,seek out a trained therapist who can role-play with you on conversations you have had where you feel you have overshared information and learn techniques to overcome this problem.

Dec 30, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, Christmas, christmas movies, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, Love, Marriage, neurotic behavior, new years, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, Vaccine, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss MAKE 2023 THE YEAR WE BECOME WHO WE BELIEVE WE CAN

December 30, 2022- Too many persons,including psychologists,believe personalities are more or less set in adults and even adolescents and do not change. I do not accept that view at all. If someone has a vision of who they want to be and will make the necessary changes,they can do it. I have seen it in many persons I have worked with over the years both as a psychologist and one traveling the road of life. While Rome was not built in a day,making fundamental changes in self requires hard work. For example,one does not go from being deceitful on a daily basis to stopping in one day. The same is true of the person who is sarcastic and hurtful of others. The chronic inappropriate flirt and philanderer also do not change overnight. However,change can occur with a strong beginning if the person declares those behaviors are not only who they are not but are toxic to them as persons. Step one is to determine who you want to be and know you can be that person. That vision of yourself is always in your mind and your thoughts and actions are directed to being that person. Who we are and how we behave are the most powerful tools we human beings have to determine who we are and the course in life we will take to that end. Whether small or major character remodeling,use 2023 as the launchpad to be who you choose to be for the rest of your lives. Go for it with super gusto! Your future begins now.

Dec 22, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, Christmas, christmas movies, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, Love, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, Vaccine, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss how to ENJOY CHRISTMAS WITH THE WARM HAPPY OUTCOMES OF CHRISTMAS MOVIES

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We know that Christmas is the celebration by Christians that God sent his only son, Jesus Christ, to earth to die for us so we could have the opportunity for an eternity of happiness with him in heaven. Christmas also is a time that is very stressful for many persons due to costs, family pressures, and just a lot of seeming chaos with so many expectations on persons. The American Psychological Association reports that 38% of respondents in a study reported higher stress during the holidays. With that said, movies about Christmas teach us the lessons of Christ with examples of love, sacrifice,family, unity,kindness and happy endings during the Christmas time. The classic of Scrooge becoming a loving and caring person in the CHRISTMAS CAROL is representative of the best of what Christmas can mean in terms of love and finding purpose in life. Current movies, as strongly represented by the Hallmark Movies,give so much joy to persons who are looking for purpose, love,positive relationship outcomes,and meaningful relationships. They may be quite predictable, but the Hallmark Channel has clearly found a market with millions of persons watching them. I must admit for years I have enjoyed watching them during this time of year with my wife. I also believe from a mental health point of you it is good therapy for people to see examples of happy endings where individuals and families find each other, reunite and persons fall in love looking forward to a lifetime of happiness together. This is a form of therapy that can be helpful for all of us. Let us enjoy the birth of Jesus Christ and the love he represents,regardless of our beliefs,as a time to watch good feelings movies during the season of Christmas. Be joyful and seek spiritual renewal and happiness in your life! For those who also want some joyful positive music between uplifting movies to add to their Christmas spirit,my classical favorite is JOY TO THE WORLD by Mario Lanza and my pop favorite is IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR by Andy Williams. Find and play yours!

Dec 16, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, chronic pain, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with family, dealing with guilt, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, emotional pain, guilt, illness, john braccio, pain, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, terminal illness, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss HOW TO SENSITIVELY INTERACT WITH THOSE IN CHRONIC DAILY PAIN OR PAINFUL LIFE THREATENING ILLNESS

12-13-2022

Persons with chronic pain or painful life threatening illness often suffer from depression,insomnia,anxiety,stress,anger,substance/alcohol abuse and even hopelessness and suicide. A further problem is persons with chronic pain or illness often feel isolated because persons often do not know how to interact with them because they cannot relate to their problems even if they understand it would be very difficult if not horrible to always be in chronic pain or a painful life threatening illness. Based on long term experience with persons on both sides of this situation,the following are recommendations meant to help persons interact sensitively and effectively with those in chronic pain or chronically ill: 1.Be open and honest. 2.Listen to how their condition impacts them both physically and emotionally. 3.Be tolerant to a possible uncharacteristic negative and even angry mood. 4.Make sure the meeting is not about you and your feelings or pains. 5.Let them know you care and will be helpful any way possible. 6.Do not compare their situation with someone else. 7.Use active listening to fully understand their feelings. 8,Read up on the effects of chronic pain and illness on someone both psychologically and physically.

Dec 10, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Children, dealing with difficult children, mental health, psychologist, psychology, relationships with children, Self Help

BE SUPPORTIVE AND NOT ENABLING POOR DECISION MAKING BY ADULT CHILDREN

12-06-2022-Loving parents more and more are needing to decide how to help struggling poor decision making adult children who come to them for help. To be helpful and even coach an adult child struggling in life are reasonable parental activities. Most parents want to see their adult children be successful and are willing to help them. The slippery slope is to make sure they are not enabling them to continue ineffective,poor and even destructive decision making. The following are boundaries to this end: 1.Determine what the problem is and what you are willing to do. 2.Do not be moved by intimidation,guilt or threats. Examples like you can no longer see the grandchildren or them if you do not do what they want. 3.Keep your own emotions under control. 4.Recognize swooping in and ineffectively trying to save the day various times shows you are entering a negative co-dependent relationship that will only end badly. 5.Seek out family members,support groups and friends when emotional support is needed. 6.Do not expect your children to fulfill your emotional needs 7.Accept your not being involved after repeated failures is often the best process as painful as that may be emotionally. 8.Accept that loving your adult child may mean you must let them solve their own problems resulting from poor decision making without your involvement other than sought out advice and coaching. 9.Seek out clergy or an experienced therapist familiar with co-dependent relationships for emotional support as needed.

Nov 30, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM WILS discuss HOW PARENTS BUILD AND RESILIENCE IN THEIR CHILDREN

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In the aftermath of the COVID 19 pandemic with the loss of personal interactions in the school setting and with family and friends,multitudes of young persons have not only suffered academic loss but also suffer to one degree or another with anxiety,depression,PTSD,phobias,poor resilience,poor emotional strength and general fears about life and their future. In such an environment,it is essential parents work as hard as they can to built emotional strength and resilience in their children to not only address problem areas but help them develop life skills to overcome them. Parental behaviors to this end would include the following: 1.PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING. 2.MODELING STABILITY THROUGH GOOD PROBLEM SOLVING WITH RESULTING RESILIENCE . 3.CLOSE COMMUNICATION WITH SCHOOL PERSONNEL AS NEEDED. 4.COUNSELING AS NECESSARY. 5.CLOSE CONTACT WITH CLERGY CONSISTENT WITH YOUR FAITH. 6.TUTORING SUPPORT AS NEEDED. 7.SHOWING UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. 8.DEVELOPING STRONG FAMILY COMMITMENT AND ATTACHMENT. 9.ENCOURAGING HEALTHY FAMILY AND OTHER SOCIAL INTERACTIONS. 10.EXPLAINING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REASONABLE AND UNREASONABLE BELIEFS AND CONCERNS. 10.HELPING BUILD RESILIENCE TO LIFE’S PROBLEMS THROUGH EFFECTIVE PROBLEM ANALYSIS AND SOLUTION.

Nov 23, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss THANKSGIVING IS A WONDERFUL DAY TO BE GRATEFUL

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I particularly like Thanksgiving because it is a day that whether you take a secular or spiritual perspective, you can be grateful for what you have. It is a day to leave politics,anger and frustration out of your life. Regardless of the burdens you may have in life,there is always something to be grateful. Even though I strongly believe it is important to find things to be grateful every day,Thanksgiving is a day you can mindfully decide to dedicate to thankfulness and nothing negative. The following are a few areas we can be thankful: 1.Life. What an amazing time only you uniquely can experience. No one else can be you! 2.The opportunity to make choices and implement them in your lifetime in this astonishingly giant universe. 3.The wonder of being able to love and cherish those who have loved and cherished you with you making the effort to let them know your thankfulness . 4.It is a day of reflection to remember those persons now and in your past who have been critical in a positive way to help you be who you have become. These would typically include parents, siblings, friends, mentors, clergy, etc. 5.If you are celebrating Thanksgiving as a family, reach out to someone who is going to be alone and invite them to share it with you. 6.If you are a spiritual person who believes in an afterlife,you will be thankful and rejoice in the joy and tranquility you have in believing in an eternity of happiness after your life on earth ends.

Nov 20, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, summertime, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss LOCUS OF CONTROL IN YOUR LIFE

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11-15-2022

Locus of Control is something very important in determining how you look at life. If you believe in “internal locus of control”,then you have the belief you can control what is going on in your life. Preparation,planning and training dominate the thinking and direction you have in your life. But if you believe in “external locus of control”,then you are basically feeling life happens to you and you do not have control over it. You are like a leaf driven by the wind to unknown places. Each day can be filled with dread and fears about what may occur. Research shows high achievement and positive self-image are enhanced by the belief you determine your successes and failures by your decisions. However,there is little doubt successes are strongly influenced by opportunities and circumstances one may have little control. Illness and lack of opportunities can halt and negatively impact the success and self-esteem of almost anyone. A reasonable view to have good mental health is to have a mixture of both. Believe you can control what you can in yourself but also recognize opportunities can occur separate from your plans and preparation.

Nov 8, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, seniors, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss OLDER PERSONS(65 AND OLDER) AND DEPRESSION

Subscribe to our YouTube page!- November 8, 2022

No one is immune from depression. It impacts everyone to one degree or another in one’s lifetime. The problem with persons 65 and older is that they are often having to deal with issues that younger persons do not. Most specifically, it would include problems with their physical and mental abilities, loss of a spouse, family location,loss of employment, lack of mobility,death of friends, poor memory,loss of status and accepting mortality… Not that all of these things happen to one person at the same time or that they always cause depression. But over time they do tend to occur in some combination with most persons as the cycle of life progresses. The following are important things to do to help alleviate the sadness and depression that can occur in older persons due to the issues mentioned above: 1.Exercise and keep as physically fit as possible. 2.Have regular medical check ups to make sure you are physically as healthy as possible. 3.Seek out counseling as necessary to help you with the changes of life that occur in your aging process that cause you depression. 4.Accept changes that can cause depression will occur and plan accordingly as best you can. 5.Finely hone your spiritual and/or internal resources to help you find purpose in your life from what you have experienced and what you intend to experience in the latter stages of your life. As always,make each day count. 6.Continue to be as involved as you can in church and any other activities. 7.Cultivate and keep in contact with friends you have known over your lifetime. Talk to persons you may not have talked to for decades. 8.Become more communicative with your spouse,family and persons close to you. 9. Resist isolation. Be as active as you can. 10. Do puzzles and any other intellectual activities to keep your mind sharp…Aging is a process we all go through as we live our lives. The important thing is not to have great fear and resulting depression but do whatever you can to find meaning in your life through maximal physical, intellectual and emotional involvement. As you age do not focus on the disabilities or limitations you have but rather focus on what you can do to make as much impact as possible on yourself and others. The road of life can be difficult but it can always be meaningful and something to look forward to. GO FOR IT WITH GUSTO!!!!!!

Nov 1, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, authoritative, braccio, Depression, iMovie, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss WHY THE AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING MODEL IS THE BEST

November 1, 2022

The primary parenting styles would be authoritative parenting, authoritarian parenting, permissive parenting and uninvolved/neglectful parenting. The obvious problems that are caused by the controlling authoritarian parent are low self-esteem,anger impulse problems,substance abuse,conduct disorder and high levels of anxiety and depression. The problems resulting from permissive parenting are that the child never learns the rules of life,how to deal with reality,can be spoiled,and very difficult to deal with with all persons they encounter. The problems with the uninvolved/neglectful parent are low self esteem,conduct disorder,substance abuse,poor academic performance,and juvenile delinquency. The positive and most promising parental style is the authoritative. In this style,the parent tries to adapt parenting to needs and wants of the child from infancy until they are launched into adulthood. The hallmarks are a loving environment with respect, tolerance, firm recognized limits,good citizenship,good communication,always ready and willing to listen to the ideas and concerns of the child,and a willingness to say no and be consistent in parenting. The children from this parenting style have the best opportunity to have a successful life with positive self-esteem without higher than expected levels of anxiety and depression. The chances are also very good for solid academic performance and good citizenship. An important thing is the child is always involved in the process. They are aware of the consequences if they choose to break rules because they have been part of the process in making them. The parent cannot always be right,but in the long run there is little doubt the child will understand their parents did the best they could. There is nothing simple about raising children. Even the best plans do not work all the time. As a brief recap,the successful authoritative parent includes in their parenting the ingredients of love, caring,being able to say no,understanding,reasonable expectations and always ready to discuss issues and concerns.

Oct 19, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Children, dealing with difficult children, mental health, psychologist, psychology, relationships with children, Self Help

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY CHILDREN ARE ESTRANGED FROM THEIR PARENTS

10-18-2022

A surprising thing to me even now is how many children are estranged from their parents. In some cases the children will not even tell the parent(s) why. Sadly,in many cases even seemingly small problems in communication can result in total or limited lifelong parental estrangement. The following are common reasons: 1.Child sexual abuse. 2.Child physical abuse. 3.Child emotional abuse. 4.Ongoing emotional abuse. 5.Religious differences. 6.Political differences. 7.Non-involved parent now or in the past. 8.Late in life arriving parent. 9.Overinvolved negative grandparenting. 10.Financial issues. 11.Communication problems between parent and spouse/family of child. 12.Substance abuse. 13.Sibling preference. 14.Perceived brainwashing.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO CONTROL ANGER OUTBURSTS OVER TRIVIAL MATTERS

October 11, 2022- It is an unfortunate fact most persons at one time or another waste a lot of their energy by being angry over trivial matters. Things as simple as a person driving too slowly on the road in front of us,a child leaving a book at school or a spouse forgetting to pick something up on the way home can lead to severe anger outbursts. This is unhealthy for the person having the anger outbursts and for the recipients. Too often anger outbursts occur with persons who lived in homes where parents were constantly bickering and fighting over many small things and they learned these behaviors when modeled by them. As a result,it is not surprising when these behaviors are in effect re-enactments in the present. The power of modeling on future human behavior is so powerful and often not understood by persons on both sides of the anger outbursts. In order to end the emotional turmoil for all involved persons,the following are suggestions on how to overcome anger outbursts over trivial matters: 1.Truly recognize how short life is and do not waste a moment we have to live on foolish and antagonizing anger outbursts over trivial matters. Carpe diem!(Seize the day!) 2.Recognize what is appropriate anger over mistreatment rather than inappropriate anger over trivial matters. 3.Think how important you will think what you are mad about in this moment will be in an hour,a day,a week,a month or a year. 4.Think about how important it is today what your great great great grandparent was upset about one hundred and twenty years ago today. 5.Replace negative anger trigger thoughts with positive and neutral thoughts. 6.Problem solve with those you get angry with to work as a team to eliminate anger outbursts over trivial matters. 7.Do deep in and out breathing and count as you do it. 8.Seek out a therapist who is expert in anger management to help eliminate trivial anger outbursts.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD WITH SPORTS PERFORMANCE ANXIETY

Sports Performance Anxiety is more common with athletes than one might think. Our concern here relates to athletes specifically in elementary through high school and how parents can help them. With that said, the suggestions can relate to athletes of any age and whether playing an individual or team sport. Over the years I have worked with many parents who are amazed when a sporting activity their child previously loved has begun to cause them great anxiety to the point they are feeling miserable emotionally and often want to quit the sport entirely. Because I have worked with many athletes who have Sports Performance Anxiety,I can tell you it can be very emotionally devastating and can put a real cramp in the life of the person involved and their parents. The following are suggestions given to parents over the years I have found can be quite helpful for the child to reduce the anxiety to the point it is useful anxiety and not debilitating anxiety: 1.Accept anxiety is a common trait for any athlete. 2.Identify the symptoms and maybe unusual behaviors or changes in thinking that are showing your child is not behaving in their regular fashion. When this occurs,there is a need for positive parental intervention. 3. Develop a conversation with your child that is positive and not critical. The most loving and meaningful statements by a parent can be devastating to their child by being negative and making them fearful of their performance rather than helping them be their best. 4.Try to identify with your child by indicating any anxiety you have had in the past when involved with sports or other activities that have been stressful for you. This can develop a bond between the two of you that allows for conversation that does not put all the pressure on your child.5. Help yourself and your child realize if they can think themselves into being overly anxious that they have the ability to think themselves into being less anxious. As difficult of a concept as this may be for you or your child to understand, it is true and something that needs to be worked on and developed. 6.It is useful to have mantras that can be used to replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. For example, if a child feels they cannot function effectively and will let the team down, they need to say they will try to do their best to help themselves and the team be at their best.7. Deep breathing is a timeless procedure to use when a person is feeling anxious,stressed out and needs to relax. Just breathing in and breathing out deeply over and over again while thinking a positive mantra can be very helpful to an individual.8. Help your child realize their job on the team is to try to use all the skills and training they have learned to do the best job they can. This will not always lead to the level of success they desire; however, if this is done and understood they will realize they are achieving and helping the team as best they can. 9. Help your child have realistic expectations for what they can do and encourage them within their abilities to do the best they can. This recognition and acceptance of ability with maximal opportunity for development can positively be used to help your child function to the best ability that is possible. 10.If you feel you need outside help,seek out an experienced therapist who can help you with Sports Performance Anxiety.

Sep 29, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, wils, work

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM LET GETTING OLDER BE AN EXCITING VOYAGE

September 27, 2022

We live in an age where ageism or getting older is seen as something to be dreaded and avoided at all costs. We can easily see this as people rush to plastic surgeons and the latest cosmetics advertised on TV to keep us young and ever younger yet! This is unfortunate because more and more research is showing that persons who see getting older has advantages with things to look forward to are not only happier but live longer than those who do not. This does not diminish the reality of physical decline and death. The focus on living positively as we get older is the proverbial view it is better to see the glass half filled rather than half empty. The following are things to look forward to as we get older:
1.You need not worry about dying young! (The Roman Cicero noted this is his classic work ,ON OLD AGE.) 2.Recognizing our mortality can have us cherish each day we live. 3.More leisure time to think and do things. 4.Learn new things. 5.Nurture and rekindle long term friendships and family connections. 6.Strengthen love with spouse/partner and children. 7.Make amends for mistreatment of others in our past or even present. 8.Share the lessons learned in life. 9.Focus on what one remembers rather than what one forgets. Also remember a 20 or 30 year old has far less to remember than a 50-90 year old. 10.Develop one’s spiritual outlook and direction. 11.Do good and make the world better before you leave it. 12.Focus on what you can do rather than what you cannot. 13.Carpe diem—Seize the day and enjoy it. 14.With gusto,look forward to the future!

Sep 19, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, wils, work

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY “FOLLOWING THE CROWD” IS BAD FOR DEVELOPING YOUR INDIVIDUALITY AS A HUMAN BEING”

It will guarantee you mediocrity in life. It is reasonable to be a good citizen and do what is required as a good citizen and family person. However, to just go along with any current trend will guarantee you will not stand out as is possible when you search for and follow your dreams and not those that others have decided for you. My work over the decades as a practicing psychologist has shown me so many crowd followers who are leading lives that are not satisfying and they sometimes even have significant depression and anxiety because they are living the choices of the crowd for them and not their own. One must not accept a specific crowd view that life is against you and just sit back and accept it. The life of a crowd designated victim is tragic if the person accepts it. The free thinking individual will see the normal problems in life that each person has as opportunities for resolution rather than overpowering problems to fold under. They play as best they can the cards life has dealt them. If one is in a crowd that promotes low possibilities for you,leave it immediately and find persons and groups that promote your possibilities as a person. Too often, persons see problems as reasons they run with the crowd as they just decide to settle for whatever life they can have and try to enjoy it. While this may work for many,it guarantees a life of mediocrity. They will not experience the excitement and exhilarating experience in life from voyaging out on their own. The following are some specific reasons why following the crowd or the flock will not help you reach the exciting heights you can experience when following your dreams with the resulting life excitement and happiness through their fulfillment. 1.Doing what everyone else does guarantees you a life of mediocrity. 2.Fads come and go. We do not hopefully just lead a life going from one fad to another. 3.Highly successful persons do not follow the crowd. 4.Individual growth as an individual is best done when following your own developed goals. 5.Following the golden rule—DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU—needs to be the gold standard we use in dealing with others and not those determined by the crowd. 6.The crowd is often wrong. One classic example is when Galileo knew the earth moved but the “crowd” said it did not.

Sep 1, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, being a good person, braccio, Depression, friendship, humility, mental health, persuasion, Self Help, therapy

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW HUMILITY HELPS MAKE YOU A MORE EFFECTIVE HUMAN BEING.

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August 30, 2022- Humility is that wonderful trait a human being has that allows them to not be a know-it-all and accept the views of other persons. They can accept others have equal or better ideas. They recognize together everyone can feel more satisfied and potentially be more successful. They believe the concept of teamwork results in team results that a group of individuals working alone cannot achieve. Too often humility is seen as weakness. It is actually the opposite of that. Humility simply recognizes other persons can be talented and offer something. Typical traits of a person with humility would be as follows: 1.Listens to others and their opinions. 2.Takes into account the ideas and feelings of others when making decisions. 3.Works under the assumption more persons involved in decision-making will lead to a better outcome with everyone feeling they have made a meaningful contribution. 4.Willingness to make decisions when necessary but only after taking into account opinions of others. 5.Strengthens relationships with others. 6.Allows for greater understanding of self and others. 7.Develops tolerance of others and their views. 8.Roots out arrogance and impulsivity of actions.

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Dr Braccio & MikeAustin discuss WHEN NOT HAVING CHILDREN OR BEING MARRIED IS THE RIGHT LIFE CHOICE

WHEN NOT HAVING CHILDREN OR BEING MARRIED IS THE RIGHT LIFE CHOICE- Subscribe to our page! August 23, 2022 In our society, being married and having children have long been considered the appropriate lifestyle. While this may be true for most persons, it is not true for everyone. One can draw some conclusions from the fact that 50% of marriages fail and many children are not offered good parental guidance and support from their parents. There even are sadly too many children who are abused emotionally,sexually and physically. Arguably, much of this could be relieved by many persons accepting their true personalities and realize their desires in life are such that being married and having children are not right for them and can be catastrophic for themselves,spouses and children. How often do we hear adults indicate one or both of their parents had no business ever being married and having children? Our society would be far more effective if persons who have no business being married and having children did neither. This simply acknowledges that long-term life relationships filled with love and the caring for children does not fit the mold for many persons and they and society would be better off if they chose to use their skills in different directions that could contribute much to the development of a safer,more cohesive and more effective society and country. Personality factors that would show a person is not someone to enter a life long commitment to a partner or raising children in a loving and effective manner would include the following: 1.Narcissistic 2.Explosive Personality/Verbal Abuser. 3.Sociopathic. 4.Selfish/Self-Absorbed. 5.Egotistical. 6.Career Driven. 7.Workaholic. 8.Infidelity. 9.Life Mission. 10.Immature. 11.Emotionally Unstable. 12.Physical Abuser/Batterer. 13.Pathological Liar. 14.Manipulator. 15.Emotionally Controlled By Parents. 16.Alcoholic/Substance Abuser. 17.Habitual Gambler…Something positive is that persons can overcome many of these areas of concern by being authentic with themselves and seeking support as needed from family,friends clergy and well trained therapists.

Aug 17, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss SUCCEED BY CONFRONTING THE FEARS OF YOUR WORST CASE SCENARIOS

August 16, 2022

The dreams and aspirations of so many people are destroyed by their own worst case scenarios. Common worst case scenarios could include:1.The perceived humiliation of being turned down for a date with a potential life partner. 2.Not applying for the “perfect job” for fear of being rejected. 3.Not moving to your dream location for fear of not succeeding and returning home as an humiliated failure. 4.Not seeking a prized degree or training program for fear of humiliation and ridicule for not completing it. 5.Not standing up for self out of fear of severe retaliation. 6.Staying in a dull and no hope for promotion job out of fear of failing and being fired at another job and the family going on public assistance. 7.Constant fear of living the “imposter phenomenon” where in spite of your ongoing success you will be found out and humiliated as not up to your job and fired or demoted…The examples can go on and on. The remedy is to focus on the prize and accept possible roadblocks as you voyage forth to fulfill your goals and dreams. When life is coming to a close,people do not lament they tried and often did put their dreams into reality. No,they lament unfulfilled dreams because of their worst case scenarios.

Aug 10, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts being a father, boundaries, Children, dealing with children, discipline, Parenting, psychology, relationships

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss GOOD FATHERS ARE A BIG DEAL IN THE LIVES AND THE FUTURE SUCCESS OF THEIR CHILDREN

August 9, 2022

Even though this may seem evident to those who have good or bad/absent fathers,we often do not realize how critical a good father is in the lives of their children. The point is not that children without fathers cannot be successful or have other excellent male role models,the point is simply that research shows the rather surprising results when a father is present: 1.80% less likely to spend time in jail. 2.60% less likely to be suspended or expelled in school. 3.38% more likely to get A’s in school. 4.45% less likely to repeat a grade. 5.75% less likely as a teenager to birth a child…These results show the importance of fathers in the lives of their children. As a society,we need to emphasize this and encourage fathers whether married or not to be responsible,loving and caring for children they have brought into this often difficult and complicated world. Their children did not ask to be born and need and deserve a loving and good role model father. This is true whether the father adheres to a spiritual or secular view of the importance of life he has brought into this world. For further emphasis,society needs to focus on the importance of giving support for caring fathers to lovingly accept their parental responsibilities to help their children be as loved and successful as possible. This is true whether in a nuclear,blended or broken up family relationship. Fathers can seek support by modeling behaviors of good fathers and/or seeking them out as mentors. They also can seek out support groups for fathers and trained therapists. As a final thought,it is critical to realize the good father is not the mythical perfect father who does not exist in this imperfect world.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss PERFECTIONISTS ARE NEVER AT PSYCHOLOGICAL PEACE

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Perfectionists are persons who strive for perfection in all aspects of their lives. Unless you are someone like a heart surgeon or a jet pilot, perfection is not something for individuals to seek in themselves or someone else. Perfectionists are never at psychological peace because they are trying to be perfect in a very imperfect world. If you are a perfectionist, it is clearly time to kick this aspect of your personality out into the trash can where it belongs. It is amazing to me after decades as a practicing psychologist how many persons do not see the negative impact that perfectionism is having on them psychologically and also the negative impact it has in their relations with others. Typical characteristics would include the following: 1.Seeking not excellence but perfection from self in all attempted activities. 2.Constant disappointment by never being able to be perfect. 3.Poor self-image due to not living up to being perfect,regardless of how successful they might be. 4.Problems in relationships with others because of expecting them to meet this perfect standard that not only they cannot meet but no one else can. 5.Excessive amounts of time doing what are routine activities to other persons due to the desire to do them perfectly. Things as simple as cutting the grass, cleaning the house and reviewing a work document can lead to seemingly limitless amounts of time trying to get them right and psychological distress it not feeling they are ever done perfectly. 6.The inability to delegate because others cannot do tasks perfectly. 7.Elevated levels of Anxiety and Depression caused by the impossibly of being perfect. 8.Not enjoying the happy times that persons psychologically need because of the constant emphasis on being perfect in the never ending process of activities they are trying to do perfectly…If some of these characteristics sound like you,now is the time to end this life robbing personality behavior that will not allow psychological peace. Work on it yourself or seek out experienced expert help.

Jul 26, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Rich Herl of 1320 AM discuss WE NEED POSITIVE SELF-EFFICACY TO FULFILL OUR DREAMS

July 26, 2022

Positive self-efficacy is the belief one has the capacity to complete activities in effective ways. A person with positive self-efficacy encounters a problem, looks at the factors that need to be resolved and attempts to complete them. Even though the person may fail, they will more realistically analyze why they failed rather than the person with negative self-efficacy who will be convinced not only that they did not have the ability to complete it but never would have the ability. Positive self-esteem is a positive view of self while positive self-efficacy is the belief one can successfully complete an activity. The person with positive self-efficacy does not see problems in the current life-space as something to be fearful of or to try to run away from,but rather as opportunities for resolution and challenges that can make life more interesting. The person with positive self-efficacy works relentlessly to be the quarterback while the person with negative self-efficacy,regardless of ability,prefers to sit in a chair and watch the quarterback play rather than risk certain perceived failure if they attempted to become the quarterback.

Jul 21, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, finances, finding jobs adhd, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Rich Herl of 1320 AM WILS-July 12, 2022

Discussion on ADHD

Jul 6, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS discuss POSITIVE MEMORIES REDUCE DEPRESSION

July 5, 2022

POSITIVE MEMORIES REDUCE DEPRESSION Psychologists have known for some time that positive thoughts and memories produce positive persons. The ability to remember and focus on positive thoughts in one’s life accurately and intuitively point out the obvious: Positive thoughts and memories reduce depression. If a person focuses on negative memories, the present is going to be depressing and the future will look the same because the future will be filled with the current present negative memories and so it goes on and on in a never ending cycle. One must cognitively restructure or consciously replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts in order to have a chance for positive self-esteem and a life free or with far less depression than the person who focuses on negative thoughts. This brings me to the fact that after nearly 400 segments with you Dave, this is the last PSYCHOLOGICALLY SPEAKING segment we will do together on WILS 1320 AM radio. It has been a great ride and it is hard to believe how quickly the past 7 1/2 years have gone. The memories from the segments will always be positive as I have greatly enjoyed doing them with you and the hope is they have been enjoyable for you and helpful for our listeners. I simply want to give a shout out THANK YOU and HOORAY to you for your superb professionalism and wish you the best in your continuing successes. We will continue the nearly 30 year long-term relationship we have had since your days as the Sports Director and News Anchor at WLNS-TV 6. Our interactions are a significant part of my positive long term memories that will keep coming back as emotional nourishment to keep depression on the ropes!

Jul 6, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, braccio, cheating, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, friendships, hope, infidelity, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, trust in relationships, wisdom

Dr Braccio podcast on Infidelity

Dr. Braccio discusses infidelity and the costs of cheating in a relationship, particularly in a marriage. Infidelity can lead to divorce and parental disruption. Yet many stray anyway, prompting the question: Why? Dr. Braccio believes any marriage can be saved if both persons love each other and are willing to do the hard work to save it. He gives you helpful and proven strategies to do it.

Jun 30, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, Love, mental health students, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, resilience, school shootings, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, uvalde, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss CARING FOR FAMILY CAREGIVERS

June 21, 2022

We live in an age where millions of spouses,children and siblings look after beloved members of their families. In 2020,53 million Americans were offering unpaid care for adults with health or functional needs. This was an increase of 9.5 million from 2015. The most common caregiver is one spouse looking after the other. Another very common combination is a child or children looking after a parent. Too often, these caregivers are taken for granted and other family persons or caring non-family are not aware or minimize the problems they are experiencing or choose in some cases to ignore. The odds are quite high we have a family caregiver in this situation or know of one. The common issues caregivers have would include problems with managing time, physical and emotional distress, depression and isolation, financial concerns, sleep deprivation, guilt and fear of asking for support. Things that other family members, dear friends and caring persons can offer include the following: 1.Help with every day chores and needs. 2.Emotional/psychological support. 3.Help with healthcare needs. 4.As desired,give good advice. 5.Try to help them recognize their emotional and physical health are also priorities. 6.Make sure you do not use guilt in your support. 7.If asked,seek out support persons or agencies that can be of support. 8.Availability.

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly Discuss THE MACHIAVELLIAN MANIPULATOR IS VERY HARD TO IDENTIFY

June 28, 2022

Unlike the narcissist, common bully and sociopath who are relatively quickly found out to be who they are,the situation is very different with the Machiavellian Manipulator who skillfully pretends to fairly live within agreed upon social rules and norms. They often very cleverly work within the system to achieve maximum success for themselves regardless of the negative consequences for others. Because they deceitfully but effectively use all the correct words and techniques to advance,they are particularly hard to identify and often by the time they are identified their evil deeds have succeeded at your expense. Even after it happens,others may not be aware of what has happened and will continue to be part of their evil designs. The best way to determine if you are interacting with a Machiavellian Manipulator is to observe,listen to comments of others,discretely talk to others and observe outcomes from interactions they have with others. If you ever encountered one, you certainly are aware of how difficult they are to identify because they are seemingly working and interacting with others with the same agreed upon norms everybody is working under. A concise definition of manipulation is using inappropriate psychological techniques with other persons to control their thoughts and actions. It can happen in any setting. It is most common in close relationships such as family,spouses,friendships and work settings. Typical manipulation techniques would include using the following: Guilt. Blame. Complaints. Playing innocent or ignorant. Gaslighting. Lying. Bullying. Mind games. Insecurities/Weak spots,Mockery. Judging. When these techniques are skillfully camouflaged by the Machiavellian Manipulator,victims can be amazed and shocked when they learn what has or is negatively happening to them. If one is in such a relationship with a Machiavellian Manipulator,it is important to seek out supportive friends, colleagues and professional support to minimize the damage done to you socially,psychologically,personally and/or professionally.

Jun 14, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, Love, mental health students, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, resilience, school shootings, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, uvalde, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss BE A HAPPY INTROVERT

June 14, 2022

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It is pretty well known that in Western Society the extrovert(EXTERNALLY DIRECTED)is praised and often seen as the ideal. This can needlessly lead to the introvert(INTERNALLY DIRECTED)developing low self-esteem and seeing self as less than the extrovert. Because extroverts and introverts clearly seem to be wired differently, it becomes important for each person to accept who they are and nurture their particular characteristics. The following are typical characteristics introverts have which need to be cherished,nurtured and enjoyed as opposed to being seen as negative: 1.Need for less social interaction. 2.Greater interpersonal intimacy. 3.Enjoyment of being alone. 4.Strong emphasis on self-development. 5.Enjoyment of solitary activities. 6.Desire for meaningful conversation. 7.Greater social distance for internal peace. 8.Purposeful life with a sense of simplicity. 9.Strong sense of independence…The fact many introverts are quite satisfied with themselves is something to keep in mind if you are an introvert or someone you love and care for is and has low self-esteem because of it.

Jun 11, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, mental health students, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, school shootings, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, uvalde, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss THE REALITY OF PROLONGED GRIEF DISORDER

June 19, 2022

The killing of 19 children and two teachers in Uvalde,Texas and other senseless killings along with the million deaths resulting from COVID clearly has Americans tuned in to the grieving that individuals have who have lost children, friends, family members and even acquaintances. There has also been a public grieving where millions of Americans have joined with family and friends in the grieving process. Our grieving will end over time. That does not always happen for family and close friends of persons who for whatever the reason have lost loved ones. To be killed by a psychopath predictably would lead to the most intense grieving possible. Yet the length of time a person grieves totally depends on the person. It has often been said wrongly that grieving that lasts more than a year is a psychological problem. That is absurd and even very insensitive to the grieving person. Personally,I can state my parents never fully got over the death of my 2 year old brother in 1943 from childhood meningitis. Fortunately, DSM V has just recently added the diagnosis of Prolonged Grief Disorder. There are many persons who can need years and even a lifetime to overcome grieving for a loved one. Symptoms would include such characteristics as the following: 1.Disbelief it could have happened. 2.Intense longing for the person. 3.Identity confusion where the person feels not whole without the deceased person. 4.Avoiding reminders of the deceased. 5.Emotional numbness. 6.Intense loneliness. 7.Feeling life is meaningless. 8.No desire to meaningfully interact with people or with life. 9.Intense despair…The intensity of these feelings do not subside but can stay in force for years. The person with Prolonged Grief Disorder needs sensitivity and patience from friends and family. Additionally,clergy and trained therapists with grieving expertise can be helpful as deemed appropriate by the person.

Jun 2, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, wils

WHEN YOU KNOW YOU HAVE HOPE IN YOUR FADING MARRIAGE(RELATIONSHIP)

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHEN YOU KNOW YOU HAVE HOPE IN YOUR FADING MARRIAGE(RELATIONSHIP)

Signs to look for to find hope in your fading marriage would include the following. Some combination of them can be the basis for rekindling a sputtering marriage. 1.You have mutually loved and respected friends and family you desire to keep. 2.You genuinely care for each other’s well being. 3.You respect and admire the better traits of your spouse. 4.You desire to save it with hard effort on both sides. 5.You do not have walls of indifference,anger,frustration and disagreement singly or in some combination that are so deep and thick that you cannot bit by bit tear them down. 6.You desire to continue a life together with some combination of children,grandchildren,family and friends. 7.You have no desire to see any other person loving/sharing love with your spouse. 8.You use humor and not bitter sarcasm. 9.You have a strong desire to create wonderful new memories like those you have had in the past. 10.You desire to rediscover compromise and active listening. 11.You recognize what you have done and not done to enhance the marriage. 12.You share a willingness to seek out professional support as may be needed.

May 31, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, summertime, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly 1320 AM discuss CONTROL THE SUMMERTIME BLUES

May 24, 2022

Your first response might be what could he be talking about? Summertime is the time we all wait for and no one could have the blues! It might be surprising to you but it is true that many persons have summertime blues. It is a form of SAD-SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER. Let me mention some of the problems that occur with some persons in the summertime: 1.Lack of sleep due to the long daylight hours. 2.Self-esteem issues if you are not happy and everyone is telling you how wonderful it is that it is summer. 3.Financial concerns due to the cost of summer activities for children and family vacations. 4.Body image concerns as it is a time for bathing suits and summer clothing. 5.Too much sun,heat and humidity. 6.Difficulty effectively managing so many activities going on simultaneously in a home.

Things to do to beat the summertime blues would include the following: 1.Adequate sleep. 2.Reasonable exercise and not overdoing it. 3.Good financial planning for vacations and other family related activities. 4.Reasonable and healthy eating and use of alcohol beverages. 5.Planning time effectively so you do not feel overwhelmed. 6.Claim your summer in a way that is mentally and physically healthy for you and do not allow others to define how happy you need to be and what things you need to do. 7.As you feel appropriate,seek out professional medical and psychological personnel.

May 23, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHEN IS IT TIME TO LEAVE A MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

May 17, 2022

Subscribe to our youtube page! WHEN IS IT TIME TO LEAVE A MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP Aside from the obvious reasons of infidelity and physical or emotional abuse of you and/or children, there are other important factors in determining if your marriage/relationship is best to consider ending. The following are factors to be considered. If they are heavily weighing you down emotionally and you do not see a way they can be changed,then this is the time to make a final attempt to resolve them or think very seriously and honestly about ending the marriage/relationship. 1.Do the problems relate to current difficulties in your life circumstances or who both of you are as persons? 2.What have you attempted to do to resolve the feelings you have and save the marriage/relationship? 3.How well do each of you compromise? 4.What advice would you give to a best friend if living under the identical circumstances as you are? 5.What percentage of time do you feel you experience happiness and satisfaction in your relationship? Are you best friends? 6. Do you stay because of the children? If so, what impact would divorce have on them? 7.Are you fulfilled in the relationship emotionally? If not,what can you do to change this and how would you attempt to do it? 8.Does your spouse/partner respect those aspects of you that are essential to your self-esteem? 9.Are you as a person respected? 10.Do you have a lack of love and resulting physical/emotional intimacy? 11.Are you no longer a partnership? 12.Are the relationships in a blended family causing chaos and hurt on all members? 13.Do you enjoy living your life together and sharing your experiences and dreams at all levels in a way both are satisfied? 14.Do you feel you have invested too much time in your relationship to end it? 15.Do you feel or believe you must morally or spiritually stay together? 16.Do you feel you must stay in the relationship because of economics?

May 16, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss YOU CAN ENJOY RELATIONSHIPS FAR BETTER WHEN YOU DO NOT ALWAYS NEED TO BE RIGHT.

May 10, 2022

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A human flaw most of us have at one time or another is the need to always be right. Fortunately, most people eventually realize this greatly damages relationships whether they be with our partners, family, coworkers or acquaintances. Persons are wise when they begin to see their relationships are faltering and persons either argue with them or dismiss them. Neither is positive and relationships change negatively and can die. They can again become sustainable and mature when persons can discuss areas of disagreement in a civilized manner. This problem is rather clear when we look at the disagreements the country is having now on political issues. An additional problem to beware of is that persons can take “all or nothing views” on politics and begin to use them in other facets of their lives. Persons do not want to be known as a “know it all” with all the negative connotations that comes with that definition. The following are some strategies to help a person overcome their need to always be right: 1.Recognize there can be various ways to accomplish a task. 2.What can be seen as right today can be seen as wrong tomorrow. 3.Be mindful to actively listen to opinions of others and give an honest attempt to understand the opinions that might be different from yours. Then it is fair to present your opinion as an opinion in a civilized manner. This hopefully can result in good discussion and even healthy debate. 4.It is not weakness to accept the views of others. 5.Tolerance of the views of others is a sign of confidence and strength. 6.Accept many persons will not agree with you and let go of many areas of disagreement. Minimize the number of emotional hills you are willing “to die on”. 7.Relax and smell the roses.

May 6, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly Discuss WHY CREATIVE PEOPLE ARE STYMIED AT WORK

1320 AM WILS May 3, 2022

1. Systems and persons strive to maintain. 2. New ideas are a challenge to the status quo. 3. New ideas are perfect targets for the professional fault finder. 4. Even well-intentioned persons resist change. 5. Persons protecting their jobs/positions and status in the company do not want change. 6. Control over persons by saying no is a powerful incentive for persons that want to control people. 7.No change is the perfect level of change for many persons. 8. Some persons thrive on being the negative voice on anything and everything…
Ways to try to bring creativity to an unwilling person, group or system would include the following: 1. Persevere with your creativity. 2. Change jobs in the company. 3. Change companies. 4. Start your own company. 5. Ask questions that draw out opinions that can be hopefully discussed and not just attacked. 6. Seek out negative and worried persons to try to bring them along with your views prior to the meeting. 7. Convince the boss.

Apr 29, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, liars, lying, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, patience, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio discusses with Dave Akerly WHY THE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR IS SO PSYCHOLOGICALLY DANGEROUS COMPARED TO THE COMPULSIVE LIAR

April 26, 2022

Let me begin by saying lying is a bad policy and will hurt the trust people have in you and what you say. I also will add saying an ugly hat Aunt Mabel is wearing is nice is better than saying it is atrocious and burn it. The compulsive liar is an annoyance and can destroy or greatly impair relationships,but their primary purpose is generally self-enhancement and a long-term psychological problem with telling the truth. Their purpose is not to ruin others. Purposes include to stay out of trouble,enhance self,and even try to please others. On the other hand,the pathological liar is deceitful and devious without a conscience. Their purpose is to hurt others and enhance self at the expense of anyone who gets in their way or they choose to torment for their own pleasure. They do not need a reason to damage someone. They generally have well engrained narcissistic and/or antisocial personality(sociopathy)disorders. They can be quite charming,convincing,and effective. They can play their hideous behaviors often well hidden from others. Because they have no sense of right or wrong,they are often masters of manipulation and intrigue when dealing with persons who are trusting,loving and sincere. The best defense is to stay away or have as minimal contact as possible if you identify them. Because they prey on your goodness,you must beware when you see the destructive behaviors of a pathological liar playing out in their interactions with others. They are at their worst when in positions of power and authority.

Apr 25, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, patience, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHEN THE NEED FOR PERSONAL APPROVAL IS PSYCHOLOGICALLY DESTRUCTIVE

April 19, 2022

All of us enjoy approval when persons note and complement us on things we have done or said. This is natural and good for self-esteem development as others recognize positive things about us. When the need for personal approval is psychologically destructive is when we have low self-esteem and our opinion of ourselves is not determined by us but by the opinions of others. This is particularly destructive when persons who influence us and whose approval we desire do not give it or give it conditionally. Examples of psychologically destructive approval would include the following: 1. Low self-esteem leads to how others perceive us. 2. Changing a point of view due to it being shunned by someone else. 3. Not saying no or disagreeing with someone for the fear of being personally attacked for being stupid or having low-level thinking. 4.Not complaining when receiving inferior goods, services or poor treatment by others. 5. Constantly seeking approval from someone who will never give it completely and always has conditions. 6. Feeling the need to apologize or minimize thoughts or feelings when challenged by someone else or even when praised due to low self-esteem. 7. Unreasonably seeking out compliments or recognition for self-validation when unnecessary and even inappropriate. 8.Excessive desire for social media recognition to the point of obsession…One can begin to overcome this need for psychologically destructive approval by having a realistic view of self and not allowing others to define you. It is important to note some people, including otherwise loving family and friends, will not give full approval so they can keep you coming back again and again to get the approval they will never fully give. It is important to love yourself in the wise proverb: LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF. Too often the person seeking psychologically destructive approval overlooks the LOVE THYSELF as one must to have good and healthy self-esteem approval needs.

Apr 14, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, patience, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss PATIENCE & FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL- Subscribe to our page!

PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL April 12, 2022 This quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson teaches us in a few words why we need both patience and fortitude to achieve our dreams in life as well as the everyday tasks we must accomplish to be successful. Aptitude is a great gift but needs patience and fortitude to meet potential. Examples to prove the point would be top athletes and students. Each would tell you both patience and fortitude are needed to persist in the never ending quest for excellence. Even if we do not have the aptitude of Magic Johnson in basketball or Albert Einstein in physics,we can use the same level of patience and fortitude they used to become the best we can be in whatever field we choose as a career.

Apr 11, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss KNOW WHEN CLUTTER IS DRAGGING YOU DOWN PSYCHOLOGICALLY

KNOW WHEN CLUTTER IS DRAGGING YOU DOWN PSYCHOLOGICALLY April 5. 2022 Subscribe to our page! Clutter is actually a more complicated concept than most people think. Clutter is only a problem if it negatively impacts on you psychologically. There are many people who are very comfortable with clutter and as long as it does not lead to filth and possible resulting physical and relationship problems, it is generally not a psychological problem for the person. Clutter also means different things to different people. The same materials can be seen as the equivalent of gold to some persons and to others as junk. Clutter becomes a psychological problem when it leads to the following types of problems that impact on a person’s psychological wellbeing: 1. Elevated anxiety and stress. 2. Symptoms of debilitating depression. 3. Lack of focus. 4. Work and/or life inefficiency. 5. Avoidance of life activities. 6.Chaos in life. 7. Feeling like one is drowning. 8. Feeling overwhelmed. 9. Inconsistent sleep patterns. 10.Misuse of drugs, including alcohol, prescription drugs, and illegal drugs…If you have any of these problems that are impacting you psychologically and be aware you are one of many, then you need to begin slowly but consistently to overcome your problems with clutter. Step one is to admit you have a problem, then a vision of what needs to be done to declutter your life, and finally a plan to begin the process.

Mar 30, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with past, dealing with regret, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, psychologist, Self Help, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 Discuss SUCCESSFULLY ADAPTING TO THE THREE DIMENSIONS OF TIME: PRESENT,PAST AND FUTURE OF YOUR LIFE

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March 29, 2022

One may not think about it, but we regularly live a life in the present but spend much of our waking time thinking about the past or future and not enjoying the joys of using the three-time dimensions together. In order for a person to be successful and happy, they must be able to adapt to the present to enjoy it as it is experienced, remember the past for the good times with lessons learned while keeping in mind the future goals one must prepare for. When the three time dimensions are working together for someone,they can enjoy the past with the memories and lessons,enjoy the present and prepare for a happy and successful future. Persons who live in the past do not have a present or future. Persons who just live in the present have not learned from the past and the future can be very disappointing when opportunities that come up cannot be obtained because they were not sufficiently trained or without the right work experiences. Persons who live in the future time dimension cannot appreciate the everyday joys of the present because of their future thinking. They also cannot enjoy the memories of the past. Personal happiness is best achieved when one can balance the three-time dimensions. They use the past as reference points , good memories, and lessons learned. In order for a person to be successful and happy, they must be able to adapt to the present to enjoy it as it is experienced, remember the past for the good times with lessons learned while keeping in mind the future goals one must prepare for. When the three-time dimensions are working together for someone, they can enjoy the past with the memories and lessons, enjoy the present and prepare for a happy and successful future. Persons who live in the past do not have a present and the result is no present or future. Persons who just live in the present have not learned from the past and the future can be disappointing. Persons who live in the future cannot enjoy the present or memories of the past. The best chance for a happy and successful life comes when they can balance the three-time dimensions. Through the use of good decisions learned from the past and present time dimensions, they have a great opportunity to have a fruitful future time dimension and an overall happy and successful life.

Mar 24, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

HOW TO BE AN EFFECTIVE STEPFATHER WHEN A CHILD HAS TWO CARING BIOLOGICAL PARENTS

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO BE AN EFFECTIVE STEPFATHER WHEN A CHILD HAS TWO CARING BIOLOGICAL PARENTS 3-22-2022 For the purposes of this segment, we are discussing how to be an effective stepfather when a child has two caring parents. Under any circumstances, being a stepfather can be difficult. It is very important the stepfather initially tread softly but always show loving and caring to the same level as he does for his own children. If this is not done, the probabilities are high that not only will the stepfather have a bad relationship with the children but quite easily the marriage will end in divorce. When given the choice of choosing between children and a stepfather, most often the mother will choose the children and in my opinion that is the appropriate choice because children do not ask to come into the world and deserve the opportunity to have unimpeded relationships with their caring biological parents as much as possible. The following are the traits of an effective stepfather when there are two caring biological parents: 1. Meet the children in an open manner without too many questions and be willing to answer any questions asked by the children. 2.Be honest about who you are in an open manner as who you are will come out over time if you are not authentic. 3. Express and show genuine caring for the children as you get to know them and thereafter. 4. Be supportive of the rules and expectations of the mother. If you have concerns with suggestions, make them when the children are not around. 5. Be available to the children emotionally when they have a need and ask for it. 6. Try to have a friendly or at least cordial relationship with the father of the children and make sure he does not see you trying to be a threat to his role. 7. Have the children call you a name they are comfortable with except for dad or father. 8. Share your hobbies with the children to the level they are willing to take part in them with you. Examples would be bowling, golfing, video games, movies, etc. 9. Make sure you do not show partiality to your children over the stepchildren. You must try to show them the same level of love, respect, and caring to make the blended family be loving and successful. 10. Be a support to the mother as she takes on the primary parenting responsibilities with her children. It is important to note that while you are to love and care for the stepchildren to the same level as your own, you also must accept that the mother is the primary parent as far as rules and expectations go to the same degree as this would be with your children. This does not minimize that you are an adult who must be treated with respect to the same level as you do to them. This can be a difficult field to traverse for both of you but it is critical for a blended family to be successful. 11.If necessary, it can be helpful to seek out clergy or a professional therapist familiar with the role of an effective stepfather and successful blended family.

Mar 18, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Rich Herl of 1320 AM-Dave Akerly show- discuss WHY PEOPLE CANNOT ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS

It is actually surprising how many people have problems accepting compliments. This is unfortunate because persons can really get some good feelings about themselves when persons notice things they are doing and compliment them. A problem with the person who has problems accepting compliments is that they actually often become embarrassed and even upset when persons honestly offer them. As counterintuitive as this seems,it may be a problem you have or certainly one you have seen in persons you know or care for. Typical reasons for having problems accepting compliments would be as follows: 1.Low self-esteem. They could never be worthy of a compliment. 2.Social anxiety. They desire not to be noticed in almost any way. Absorbed into the background is the desire. 3.Imposter syndrome. This is when persons believe they will eventually be found out as an imposter. They in effect believe people do not understand how flawed they are or they are just trying to make them feel better,or at worst they are not telling the truth and giving false praise. 4.Fearful of higher expectations they do not desire. 5.Humbleness and humility on steroids. 6.Perfectionism to a level they believe they never deserve a complement…It is hard emotional work for persons to learn to take complements when not comfortable with them. The key is to love yourself better and accept in yourself what others see in you. Good self-esteem grows when we internalize the genuine good others see in our heart and actions.

Mar 12, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, Independent children, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

YOU NEED BOUNDARIES IN CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIPS WITH ADULT CHILDREN WHO WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 discuss NEEDING BOUNDARIES IN CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIPS W/ ADULT CHILDREN WHO WON’T BE RESPONSIBLE

03-08-2022

One of the most difficult situations for parents is when they have adult children who are not responsible and they are in the role of a codependent parent with the irresponsible child. Each is irresponsible in such relationships and cannot have an adult relationship with each other. For clarification, I am not talking about a situation where a child is in crisis and it is appropriate for the parent to step in and help the child get through the crisis. In this situation, I am talking about the child who is irresponsible and sometimes even demands that the parent save them and take on their own responsibility. The parent must stop being the savior even if it seems like the right thing to do. Situations would include children who can never keep a job and need money constantly, children who are financially irresponsible and always need money, children who are irresponsible parents and demand the parents do the parenting, children who bully and demean their parents to get what they desire, children who charm their parents as a means to effectively get what they desire, etc. The following are the types of boundaries a codependent parent must use in order to allow both the parent and child to be responsible adults and potentially have a mutual loving and caring relationship where each is independent. One. Do not allow your child to define you in a negative way that makes you give in to whatever is desired. Two. Do not allow bullying tactics to be used to shame you into doing irresponsible behaviors. Three. Make sure you will not give a yes or no answer when something is requested of you without having a day to think about it. Four. Recognize there must be a time you say “no” after a constant string of irresponsible behaviors by your adult children. They must swim on their own. Five. Encourage your child to be successful whenever you get the litany of problems the adult child has. Six. Recognize the codependent relationship is destructive emotionally for both of you. Seven. Seek out an experienced therapist to help you in your codependent relationship if you feel it would be helpful.

Mar 3, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO PSYCHOLOGICALLY OVERCOME REGRET

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOUTUBE PAGE! Regret is a common strong emotion we all experience when we feel we have failed to meet some moral, spiritual, educational, familial, occupational or some other standard. It could range from severe mistreatment of someone to missing a mass on Sunday. It can cause such things as depression, shame, anxiety, and anger. The important thing is regret causes people so much grief when they have engrained it into their very psyche and cannot get over the negative and too often gnawing feelings of emotional pain it can cause. This happens to some very sensitive persons over such small things as breaking a diet or legitimately standing up for self. The bigger problem area of regret include such things as marital infidelity, lost career opportunities and severe bullying. The following are some things to do to overcome regret: 1. Do not allow previous mistakes to rule your present and future. 2.Put things in perspective. 3. Make amends when possible. 4. Be compassionate with self. 5.Learn from past mistakes to help make better decisions as you try to seize the day-CARPE DIEM! 6.Update educational and life goals for your current life and not be upset from previous mistakes. 7. Do not catastrophize regrets. 8.Seek out a trained therapist if felt necessary.

Feb 26, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, mental health, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 discuss HOW TO REDUCE ANGER AND FRUSTRATION IN THE AGE OF COVID

The last two years during the age of Covid have been very difficult emotionally for millions of persons across the globe. The obvious result of restrictions and fears In many has resulted in very high levels of anger and frustration. Even though there has been progressing in the fight against Covid, there still are many legitimate fears resulting in frustration and anger continuing to build in many persons. The following are some techniques to use to overcome this frustration and anger. These basic techniques can also be used regardless of the cause of a person’s anger and frustration: 1. Deep breathing/meditation/self-hypnosis/hypnosis. 2. Exercise/yoga/Pilates. 3. Visualization of positive physical settings and memories. 4. Say positive mantras over and over again. 5. Find humor in even the most difficult circumstances. 6. Take a walk. 7. Identify anger and frustration triggers and replace them with positive ones. 9. Play favorite music. 10. Call a friend. 11. Help someone. 12.Watch a comedy movie. 13. Plan a vacation. 14. Take a one-day trip. 15. Prepare a favorite meal. 16. Go to a favorite restaurant and enjoy the experience. 17. Enhance your spirituality. 18. Seek out a trained therapist if needed.

Feb 21, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, mental health, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss DECLARING YOURSELF NO LONGER A VICTIM IS CRITICAL TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

WHEN DECLARING YOURSELF NO LONGER A VICTIM IS CRITICAL TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH 02-15-2022 The point here is not to deny there are victims in life from minor insults to even murder. I am specifically talking about persons who have taken on the role of victim to the point they feel they have lost control of their lives and have a very negative outlook on life with everything seen through the prism of “I’m a victim mentality”. This outlook on life can only lead to unhappiness and often can be accompanied with anger, anxiety, and depression. If you feel you are a victim of life or you too often believe you take on the role of victim, it is important you honestly evaluate yourself. The following would be typical views of persons who see themselves as victims: 1. Blame others for their station in life. 2. Blame problems from the past and/or present for being unhappy. 3. Do not see inadequacies or lack of direction in self for problems in life. 4. Perceive daily life responsibilities and roadblocks as problems and not opportunities for resolution. 5. Believe life is against them. 6. Feel powerless in life. 7. Feel like destiny does not allow them luck and things always work out poorly for them. 8. Believe no one understands them and they are alone in the world with no understanding and caring….If you feel you have some of these views, you need to develop a new outlook on life and recognize you have control over it, and need to seek out opportunities to prove it. You certainly will be happier and more successful with a positive view on life. The following are some things to do to take responsibility for yourself and quit seeing yourself as a victim: 1. Recognize you are giving ongoing power to persons who may have hurt you or taken advantage of you to still exert control over you. 2. Take control of your life and the decisions you make. 3. Seek out positive people who clearly do not see themselves as victims and start modeling and implementing their behaviors and outlooks. 4. Admit when you have made an inappropriate decision and do not use the word “but” to excuse it. The word “but” is a disclaimer from the responsibility. 5. Use the statements “I will” and “I can” when making a decision to do something. 6. Recognize that failure can be a way to learn how not to do something again as opposed to seeing yourself as a victim and failure. 7. Replace negative self-defeating thoughts about being a victim with positive statements about being responsible for yourself and the decisions you make. 8. As felt necessary, seek out a therapist who can help you replace the negative thoughts of being a victim with positive thoughts of being in control of yourself and your destiny as much as possible.

Feb 9, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly 1320 AM discuss WHY BEING UNDERSTOOD IS CRITICAL BETWEEN SPOUSES/PARTNERS

Subscribe to out YouTube page 🙂 WHY BEING UNDERSTOOD IS CRITICAL BETWEEN SPOUSES/PARTNERS 2-8-22 I believe we would all agree marriages are successful when loving persons understand and respect each other and their opinions. Problems in communication are the obvious results when spouses do not understand and respect the views and opinions of each other. This leads to arguments, hurt feelings, and even devastating ongoing interactions that can not only damage the relationship but can lead to its ending. It is essential each partner feels they are understood. When this happens, disagreements can be discussed in an open manner and resolution can occur. They need not always agree but must accept that each person can have an honest disagreement with the other. When differing views are not accepted or understood, and sometimes even attacked, the result can be feeling one is attacked and being disrespected. This can leave each completely misunderstanding the beliefs and views of the other. The important thing to do when a person feels misunderstood is not to attack the spouse but try to have communication where disagreements can be understood and resolved. While this will not be possible in abusive relationships, most relationships where disagreements occur can be resolved in a civil manner where love exists. Arguing and emotionally destructive bomb-throwing by spouses, who may love each other, certainly run the risk of falling out of love and either staying in an angry marriage or having a divorce. Following are some suggestions on what needs to occur when persons know there is love but feel they are not being understood and it is leading to hurt and/or angry feelings: 1. Use “I statements” to show how you feel rather than attacking your partner with the type of accusatory anger and even invective which will only lead to predictably more misunderstanding and emotional bomb throwing. 2.Try to have open discussion where feelings are presented in an open and honest manner where you do not come across as righteous but as a loving spouse who has dissatisfaction and needs a resolution of the feelings in a meaningful manner. 3. Do not always expect to change the views of your partner when there is obvious disagreement but to make sure your feelings are understood. 4. Before engaging in discussions when you are hurt and maybe feeling diminished, try to approach the discussion in a manner where honest discussion can occur. 5. Recognizing each may be unreasonable and expecting too much. This can only occur when each realizes and accepts this and is willing to change. 6. Except for emotional or physical abuse situations when healthy problem resolution cannot occur, it is important to be aware there can be disagreements that relate to parenting, financial expenditures, friendships, job choices, places to live, and on and on in an almost never ending stream. When this occurs, open-mindedness and a willingness to compromise are critical. The important thing for each spouse to feel understood is that each respects the views of the other in a nonjudgmental manner and is open to the awareness each person is different and will not always see things the same way. 7. To seek out a trained and experienced therapist in relationship communication could be helpful for problem resolution when one or both spouses do not feel understood and want the problem resolved.

Feb 2, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

SMALL INTENTIONAL ACTS MAKE A LONG TERM SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

Dr John Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM 2-1-22 of 1320 AM discuss SMALL INTENTIONAL ACTS MAKE A LONG TERM SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

When people think of successful marriages/relationships, they usually are thinking of the big things that people do together that people can see. The success of the long-term marriage is based on intentional acts made every day that make each love each other more. To begin with, they never lose track of why they loved each other and they regularly make comments to each other to this end. They also have regular kisses, hugs, and thoughtful statements of appreciation and love. Too many couples fall into a pattern of monotonous routine to the point they lose track of themselves as a couple and each goes off in different life directions that eventually lead to such a separation that the relationship ends. The following are the types of small things that keep marriage intact even for a lifetime: 1. Appreciation. 2. Smiles. 3. Humor/Laughing. 4. Movie watching. 5.Planned date nights. 6.Planned sexuality. 7. Spontaneous sexuality. 8.Thank you statements. 9. Love notes, cards, messages, and emails. 10. Quiet times discussing feelings and activities that are important to each other. 11. Listening to music. 12. Walks together. 13. day or weekend getaways. 14. Dancing. 15. Quiet evening dinners topped off with chocolate and dessert. 16. Eliminate complaining as much as possible. 17. Use active listening to resolve problems. 18.Constant “I love you” statements with sincere meaning.

Jan 26, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, finances, finding jobs adhd, focus, inattention, john braccio, motivation, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, talk radio, wils

WHY INTRINSIC MOTIVATION MAXIMIZES PERSONAL SATISFACTION

WHY INTRINSIC MOTIVATION MAXIMIZES PERSONAL SATISFACTION-

Intrinsic motivation is critical to the satisfaction that one finds in life. What is extreme drudgery and non-fulfilling for one person fully energizes and motivates an individual and functions as never-ending high-octane fuel. It is internal and does not require extrinsic motivation which would result in financial, professional, and societal awards that come from top performance. To become a top person in your field or activity to the highest level possible may result in extrinsic rewards and praise, but the person who is the most satisfied achieves at the highest level because of love for the activity and a great desire to solve any problems or concerns related to it. Excellence does not come easily. It is the result of hard work, many defeats, and a desire to succeed to the highest level possible. Not everyone can be a great machinist, athlete, or scientist; however, for persons to be their best and to endure in the field for many years requires intrinsic motivation that is not easily seen by the outsiders who only see the success that is demonstrated. They are not aware of the long hours, failures, and effort that went into the achievement.

Jan 18, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adhd children, Anxiety, braccio, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, east lansing, friendships, hope, making friends, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, schools and mental health, therapy during covid, wils, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss DO NOT LET “ANALYSIS PARALYSIS” STOP NECESSARY DECISION MAKING

DO NOT LET “ANALYSIS PARALYSIS” STOP NECESSARY DECISION MAKING Subscribe to our YouTube page! 1-18-22 Analysis-Paralysis Is the condition when a person is incapable of making a decision without spending an unreasonable amount of time trying to decide what to do. Anxiety is the natural outcome when one has this exasperating condition of constantly ruminating on even the most basic of decision making. While it is true one needs to give much thought to financial decision-making and a potential career choice, persons with Análisis Paralysis make it hard and sometimes even extremely painful in deciding even as basic as what clothes to wear in the morning or what to eat at a restaurant. A plan to overcome Analysis Paralysis would include the following: 1. Recognize the problem. 2.Seek out the causes. 3. Prioritize choices based on importance. 4.Take a time out when too much time is being focused on a decision.5. Make a choice and live with it. One cannot go back and replay decisions once made. It is a waste of time and can cause high anxiety. 6. Set a timeline on a decision and make it. 7. Recognize there may not be a best decision but ones with competing advantages and disadvantages. 8. In many cases, decisions made today can be changed or altered due to circumstances. 8. Never let perfect hinder one from making good decisions. 9. Seek out a therapist knowledgeable on Analysis Paralysis to help overcome this condition…The Important thing is to be able to make decisions efficiently without having Analysis Paralysis cause great frustration and anxiety for both you and persons you interact with in your life activities.

Jan 12, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adhd children, Anxiety, braccio, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, east lansing, friendships, hope, making friends, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, schools and mental health, therapy during covid, wils, wisdom

Dr Braccio&Dave Akerly1320 AM discuss COMMON MEMORY PROBLEMS THAT ARE NORMAL-Subscribe to our page!

COMMON MEMORY PROBLEMS THAT ARE NORMAL 1-11-22 There are few things more stressful to persons as they age as problems with their memory. While these are legitimate concerns for many persons, there is too much stress put on persons who have normal memory problems that occur as they get older. Many of them take place with persons that have nothing to do with aging problems but high levels of anxiety, sleep deprivation, depression, inappropriate use of prescription medication, alcohol/substance abuse, and the effects of a diagnosis such as ADHD. The important standard on if memory problems are significant is if they do not allow the person to function effectively in life and take care of themself. Common memory problems that are normal would include the following: 1. Absent-mindedness. 2. Thought/Word blocking.3. Fading memories. 4. Memory retrieval. 5. Forgetfulness. 6.Scrambling facts.

Jan 4, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adhd children, Anxiety, braccio, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, east lansing, friendships, hope, making friends, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, schools and mental health, therapy during covid, wils, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Dave Ackerly of 1320 AM discuss SMALL WAYS TO MAKE YOU HAPPY NOW

SMALL WAYS TO MAKE YOU HAPPY NOW 01-04-22 Last week we talked about making choices, goals, and resolutions for the year 2022. This week we are going to talk about ways that can make you happy right now. Being able to find things that will make you happy “in the now” is really important because being in a bad mood is not only bad for your mental health that day but can lead to an enduring day to day sadness and unhappiness that can lead to long term negativity and even depression. The following would be examples of ways to make you happy now: 1. Call a friend or family member. 2. Enjoy a happy memory. 3. Get love from your cat or dog. 4. Hug someone you love. 5. Focus on what is good in your life. 6. Listen to music you love. 7. Offer someone a smile. 8. Talk to an upbeat person. 9. Plan future events. 10. Eat something you love. 11. Exercise. 12. Walk around the block. 13. Take a hot bath or shower. 14. Light a scented candle. 15.Search your spiritual/moral values. 16. Deep relaxation/self hypnosis/meditation. 17. Take a break from your cell phone and all electronics. 18. Watch a comedy video. 19. Trust yourself. 20.Love yourself as much as you can love others…When you hear or read over the list I have put here, you will identify with many of them and also think of others you would add. The important thing is for each of us to find ways we can use that will give us joy and pleasure in the moment. Life is ultimately made up of all the moments/minutes we live. Minutes turn into the hours, days, weeks,months, years and decades that make up our lives. The more happiness and satisfaction you can find in each minute will ultimately determine how happy and satisfying of a life you experience.

Dec 29, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, changing behavior, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with family, dealing with guilt, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, emotional pain, financial pressures, guilt, john braccio, new years resolutions, Parenting, psychologist, resolutions, talk radio, wils, work

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 IMPLEMENT THE CHOICES TO MAKE 2022 YOUR BEST YEAR EVER.

IMPLEMENT THE CHOICES TO MAKE 2022 YOUR BEST YEAR EVER.

12-28-21

Most of us do not focus enough on how the course of our lives is predominately determined by the choices we make day in and day out. 2022 can be a time we make resolutions/goals/choices that are realistic and can be broken into segments where a few failures will not lead to dropping the whole process. Useful resolutions/goals/choices would include the following. 1.Do not let perfect interfere with good and very good. 2.Exercise and overall health program. 3.An honest evaluation of the appropriateness of your job for your dreams and abilities. 4.Do not let fear and routine stop you from finding ways to make dreams come true. 5.Never ending learning plan. 6.Written resolutions that are monitored and tweaked as needed. 7.Kind self-affirmations. 8.Listen to learn more in interactions with others. 9.Be a caring friend. 10.Enhance current and past relationships with family and friends to be more meaningful. 11.Live in the present and prepare for the future without letting the past ruin both. 12.Regardless of age,prepare for retirement. 13.Improve your problem solving skills for yourself and those around you. 14.Develop tools to overcome procrastination. 15.Make sure you have enough balance between work and play/fun. 16.Always make time for those you love and care for. 17.As with a garden,work on your relationship with your spouse or significant other daily. 18.Be financially responsible. 19.Enhance your spirituality/moral code to both help you day to day and also to give you purpose and more meaning for your life..As you can see,this list could be endless. The important thing is for each of us to realistically look inwardly and find areas we want to improve,clearly write them out,prioritize which ones to work on in a realistic manner,and finally implement them on January 1,2022 or whenever you decide to begin. Be aware,eighty percent of traditional new year resolutions are no longer followed by February 15. You want to plan wisely and be part of the twenty percent.

Dec 27, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with family, dealing with guilt, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, emotional pain, financial pressures, guilt, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils, work

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly CAUSES OF MENTAL FATIGUE/BURNOUT &HOW TO COMBAT THEM- subscribe to our page!

12-21-2021 Mental Fatigue/Burnout is when a person is overwhelmed emotionally and finds it hard to complete even simple tasks without great effort and often with many mistakes. It is the psychological equivalent of being physically exhausted. It is when life’s expectations far exceed one’s ability to complete them. Causes of Mental Fatigue/Burnout would include the following: 1. Caregiving. 2. Impossible timelines. 3. Excessive responsibilities. 4. Lack of sleep. 5.Substance/alcohol/prescription abuse. 6.Inappropriate prescription drugs. 7. Depression. 8.Anxiety 9. Lack of focus. 10.Wrong profession/Project. 11.Physical pain. 12.Isolation/loneliness. 13.Lack of life purpose. 14.Lack of mindful exercise and thought. 15.Excessive electronic communication. 16.Lack of recreation and fun activities…As you can see, there are many causes for Mental Fatigue/Burnout. The following are some strategies to overcome Mental Fatigue/Burnout: 1. Determine if you are in the right job or life environment. 2. Take periodic timeouts when needed. 3. Break life’s activities by priority. 4. Break activities into segments and take a break when completing one or more determined segments. 5. Have fun. 6. Take long weekends as possible. 7. Implement a strong exercise regimen. 8.Music. 9. Develop hobbies. 10.Some combination of appropriate medications and counseling for better life perspective and to combat such conditions as anxiety, depression, and chronic pain. 11. Mindfulness to make life choices that enhance your happiness and purpose in life. 12.Appropriate sleep. 13. Turn off all electronic communications for determined periods of time

Dec 15, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive functioning, dave akerly, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, dementia, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, memory loss, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, retirement, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss CAUSES OF MEMORY LOSS AND DEMENTIA – subscribe to our page :-)

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss CAUSES OF MEMORY LOSS AND DEMENTIA 12-14-21 Memory loss and dementia can develop as persons age. This is particularly true at this time when persons live into their 80s in large numbers. Dementia is the seventh leading cause of death worldwide. Few of us do not know persons suffering from memory loss or some stage of dementia. At this particular time, 55 million persons worldwide suffer from dementia with 10 million new cases being added each year. Even though this information may be difficult for us to hear or experience as many lifelong strong persons we love and care for may begin to have progressively worse memory problems and dementia, it is important we all try to keep ourselves as healthy as we can physically, cognitively, emotionally and socially to limit the effects of aging on all of us. The following are common causes for memory loss and dementia: One. Excessive alcohol use. Two. Smoking. Three. Depression. Four. Anxiety and Stress . Five. Nutrition deficiencies. Six. Head injury trauma. Seven. Sleep medication and long term lack of sleep. Eight. Blood vessel disease. Nine. Strokes. Ten. Misuse of prescription or illegal drugs.

Dec 9, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, adhd assessment, adult add, Adult ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, finances, finding jobs adhd, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly POTENTIAL PROBLEMS FOR ADULTS NOT TREATED FOR ADHD- Subscribe to our page!

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly POTENTIAL PROBLEMS FOR ADULTS NOT TREATED FOR ADHD- Subscribe to our page! 12-7-21 Adults not treated or diagnosed with ADHD clearly run the risk of the problem areas mentioned below. They should not be surprising outcomes when one realizes the ADHD hallmarks of inattention, lack of focus, impulsivity, and hyperactivity in some combination can torpedo the best efforts of a person. 1. Relationship problems. 2. Employment instability. 3. Parenting problems. 4. Anger issues. 5. Substance abuse. 6.Inappropriate and impulsive risk-taking. 7. Procrastination. 8.Indecision. 9. Annoying interruptions of persons. 10. Cannot sit still. 11. Missing important and less important deadlines. 12. Inconsistent relationships. 13. Lack of organization. 14. Impatience. …When one takes a look at these fourteen problem areas and there certainly could be more than these, it is wise and important for adults to seek out diagnosis and treatment if they feel they are having problems in these areas due to the characteristics of inattention, lack of focus, impulsivity, and hyperactivity in some combination. The important thing is that awareness of ADHD in adults is the first step leading to diagnosis,treatment,correction and then predictably leading a happier and more successful life. As I mentioned in our segment on children with ADHD last week, approximately half of the assessments we do at this time are adults.

Dec 9, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD WITH ADHD- subscribe to our page!

HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD WITH ADHD 11-30-21 A constant array of questions come to us as we regularly assess persons for possible AD/HD diagnosis. Even though maybe half of our assessments are adults, most questions come from concerned parents. The following are suggestions to help your child with AD/HD: 1. Be patient and realize your child has problems with inattention and lack of focus, and also may have problems with hyperactivity. 2. Need for specific routines except for free time throughout the day due to the awareness your child can easily get distracted and do and/or say inappropriate things. 3. If medication is taken, monitor it carefully and regularly follow up with the prescribing physician. 4. Have specific rewards and consequences for clearly defined behaviors. 5. As much as possible, involve your child in the identification of inappropriate behaviors and consequences as well as rewards for appropriate ones. 6.Model desired behaviors you have for your child. This is critical. 6. Catch your child when behaving as desired. 7. Try to ignore behaviors you do not like unless on your list of unacceptable ones. 8. Make sure your list of undesirable behaviors and consequences is well defined, understood, and enforced. 9. Make sure the list is reasonable and new inappropriate behaviors are not randomly added and enforced. This will destroy the whole process of obtaining appropriate behavior. 10. Break activities into workable segments taking into account the attention abilities of your child. 11. Work to develop stronger skill sets to stay focused for longer and longer periods of time. 12. Make sure appropriate,diet,sleep and exercise are incorporated into each day. 13. Be loving and caring parents channeling the uniqueness of your child into a successful and happy person.

Nov 18, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, being happy, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with family, dealing with guilt, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, emotional pain, guilt, john braccio, Parenting, psychologically healthy, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss THE PSYCHOLOGICALLY HEALTHY PERSON

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss THE PSYCHOLOGICALLY HEALTHY PERSON 11-16-21 Persons usually talk about psychological problems rather than addressing the characteristics of the psychologically healthy person. Typical characteristics of the psychologically healthy person would include the following: Number one. Appropriately express and experience emotions. Number two Adaptable to stress and pressure. Number three. Courteous and friendly. Number four. Authentic and honest. Number five. Emotionally secure and stable. Number six. Confident. Number seven. Loving and affectionate…This is not to say the psychologically healthy person must have all of these characteristics in full force, but that they are the characteristics that tend to comprise the mentally healthy personality. Even if someone would not mention these specific characteristics and would come up with some different ones, the end result is that a person generally can tell who is or is not psychologically healthy. The key thing for all of us is to try to continuously improve ourselves and become as psychologically healthy as possible.

Nov 9, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with guilt, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, emotional pain, guilt, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss EMOTIONAL PAIN RESULTING FROM A “FALSE GUILT COMPLEX”

November 9, 2021 EMOTIONAL PAIN RESULTING FROM A “FALSE GUILT COMPLEX” To feel guilty when having done something wrong to another person or even letting oneself down from doing what one made a commitment to do is reasonable, but to feel guilty and often emotionally overwhelmed for something someone has not done is how I would define a false guilt complex. Examples would include the following: 1. Feeling guilty and emotionally drained as a caregiver for a loved one when one feels their needs cannot be met. This is a very common problem in this age as we live longer and there can be tremendous pressure on spouses and family members to look after their loved ones but feel guilty when their own needs are not met and they are overwhelmed by their responsibilities. 2. Feeling bad due to the success you are having when someone else is not being successful. 3. Having thoughts that one considers amoral and/or wrong that make them feel evil and/or someone not living up to their unreasonable moral code. 4. Being convinced one is bad and not doing enough for other persons. 5. Replaying negative tapes from the person’s youth that they were not a good person and would never be a good person. 6. A firm belief one is morally inferior to others and can never live up to their own expectations. 7. The belief one is always offending persons in the interactions they have with others and cannot be convinced they have not done this even if persons say directly to them that there has been nothing offensive said. 8. The belief one is so bad/evil that no one could ever love or care for them…If one does not overcome their false guilt complex, they can never be happy because of their ingrained belief of how bad they are. The false guilt complex can lead to such problems as low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, tearfulness, phobias, panic attacks, physical problems, and even self-hate. Due to how ingrained these beliefs can be in the person, success in overcoming them is very difficult. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is when a person replaces these irrational thoughts with positive thoughts. This is a good way to try to overcome the false guilt complex. A trained therapist and sometimes clergy are professionals who can be helpful in treatment.

Nov 2, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts hooligans, michigan football, Michigan state football, michigan state football rivalry, psychologist, sports fanaticism, sports fans, sports obsession, violence in sports

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320AM discuss WHY SPORTS FANS ARE SO PASSIONATE & EVEN FANATICAL @TIMES

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHY SPORTS FANS ARE SO PASSIONATE AND EVEN FANATICAL AT TIMES 11-2-21 Anyone who saw the Michigan State University and University of Michigan football game this past Saturday realizes the amazingly great passion that both fan bases showed in Spartan Stadium before the game,at the game and the all day electrical environment that was East Lansing,Michigan. Both the GAMEDAY and Fox Big Noon Kickoff crews were on campus as tens of thousands of fans paraded by them and everywhere else. The game itself resulted in the largest television audience for a college game on all networks this season. With that game and the fan bases as examples of many others throughout the country, the following would be reasons why sports fans are so passionate. 1.Identification with the team they feel a part. 2.Connection with other persons both physically and emotionally. 3.Conversation starters and “enders” in long and short conversations. 4.Fun trash talking with rivals. 5.Family unifiers. 6.Shared memories over the years. 7.Building family traditions with tailgating, going to games, watching games on TV and ongoing discussions about the games through the years. 8.It is just plain fun and entertaining for everyone including persons who live an otherwise super boring life. 9.A reprieve from reality for a period of time that the only thoughts are on the game.

Oct 27, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts michigan football, michigan michigan state rivalry, psychology, spartans football, sparty

Dr. Braccio and Dave Akerly have a fun talk about the Michigan State University-University of Michigan football game this Saturday

10-27-21

Dr. Braccio and Dave Akerly have a fun talk about the Michigan State University-University of Michigan football game this Saturday and the great rivalry between them over the years. They share personal memories as this week’s game takes center stage nationally with both ESPN’S COLLEGE GAMEDAY and FOX’S BIG NOON KICKOFF visiting the MSU Campus.

Oct 19, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adhd children, Anxiety, braccio, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, east lansing, friendships, hope, making friends, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, schools and mental health, therapy during covid, wils, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss SUCCESSFUL DUAL-CAREER COUPLES

Dr Braccio- SUCCESSFUL DUAL-CAREER COUPLES 10-19-21

We live in a society where more and more couples are both working and have specific work, couple, family, and work expectations that must be synced together in order for the marriage to be successful. The large number of divorces show that many couples are not able to navigate the difficult terrain to be successful. The following are suggestions that can help the dual-career couple succeed: 1. Determine prior to marriage how they plan to coordinate life activities pertaining to the marriage, child-rearing, financial goals, personal goals, and the breakdown of specific responsibilities each will have in the relationship. This will change over the course of the marriage based on what is occurring in their lives. 2. Supporting and enhancing each other as they together meet chosen goals that are mutually agreed upon. 3. Willingness to forgo personal goals when the needs of the overall relationship require this to be done. 4. Ongoing and sometimes changing roles by one of the persons to be the primary caretaker of the children and/or other responsibilities due to particular educational or career opportunities or responsibilities of the other. 5. Recognition that in spite of the financial and career success that can come from dual-career couples, disappointment and frustration can also occur when one or both are stymied from individual goals when the overall responsibilities of the relationship need to be primary. 6. The ability to make changes as needed that may require job changing or job adaptation. 7. Recognition a desired job advancement or different job would cause more harm than good for the couple and is not entered into. 8. Enduring love in any relationship requires openness, compromise, organization, agreed-upon role expectations, willingness and ability to change, mutual respect, and strong support of each other.

Oct 14, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts dealing with a narcissist parent, dealing with difficult people, dealing with liars, narcisist

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss why GOSSIP IS OFTEN VERY HELPFUL

October 12, 2021

Gossip is the sharing by a person of factual or unconfirmed information about someone or persons not there to an individual or group. Gossip can be positive, negative, or neutral. We often inappropriately believe it is all negative. We all gossip as human beings. It can actually go as high as 80 percent of our conversations if gossip is broadly defined. The point here is to give examples when gossip is good. They would include the following: 1. Healthy social interaction about sporting or work personnel. 2. Identifying dishonest persons. 3. To give warning about potential inappropriate behavior by someone who could harm them. 4. General human interaction about impressions of others. 5. Sharing of information that may be of interest. 6.Fun anecdotes that keep the conversation going. 7. Friendships based on good observations about others can cement them. 8. Learn and reinforce social norms. 9. Impact the views of others. 10.Resolve disagreements. 11. Assess and evaluate others and reputations. 12.Impact roles in your social group.

Sep 29, 2021 braccioj Blog 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, finances, finding jobs adhd, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss BAD JOBS FOR PERSONS WITH ADHD

Dr Braccio & Dave Ackerly discuss BAD JOBS FOR PERSONS WITH ADHD 9-28-21

Last week we discussed jobs that would be good for persons with ADHD. This week we are discussing jobs that are bad for persons with ADHD. Important things to consider are the hallmarks/characteristics of ADHD that include lack of focus, inattention, hyperactivity, Impulsivity, and procrastination. If one takes into account the negative impact on a person with a combination of these characteristics in the wrong job, it becomes clear why seeking and finding the right job is critical to not just work satisfaction but all aspects of one’s life. The following are jobs that clearly would be inappropriate for persons with ADHD: 1. CPA/accountant. 2. Planner of events. 3. Executive assistant. 4. Assembly line position. 5. Routine and monotonous work in any setting but particularly in a cubicle environment. 6. Micromanaged environments with very specific rules and expectations. 7. Controlling bosses.

Sep 25, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, finances, finding jobs adhd, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss of 1320 AM GOOD JOBS FOR PERSONS WITH ADHD

GOOD JOBS FOR PERSONS WITH ADHD 9-21-21 Many persons are of the belief that ADHD is a condition only for children. That is not accurate. Fifty percent of persons diagnosed when young continue the condition into adulthood. The hallmarks or characteristics of ADHD are some combination of inattention,lack of focus,hyperactivity and impulsivity. How persons deal with these hallmarks determine how successful and happy their work life and overall life will be. As with any person, the important thing is to accurately assess yourself and determine what would be an appropriate career to enter. The following careers are generally considered good careers for persons with the characteristics of ADHD. They are jobs generally filled with pressure, tension, uniqueness, variety, competition and challenge. The following would be careers that would meet those characteristics: 1.Police officers. 2.Firefighters. 3.EMTs. 4.ER Doctors and Nurses. 5.Self-employed Business Owners. 6.Risk-taking entrepreneurs. 7.Commission sales persons. 8.Entertainment industry. 9.Hospitality industry. 10.Athletes 11.Computer based activities that require innovation, challenge and constant new development.

Sep 7, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anger, anger management, Anxiety, bipolar, career change, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, narcisism, narcisist, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, raising children, retirement, self esteem, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss HOW TOO OFTEN DEBILITATING PHOBIAS SEEM TO HAVE THEIR OWN CONTROLLING PERSONALITIES

9-7-21 A phobia is an unreasonable fear taking into account the circumstances. Most persons have fears and anxiety. Reasonable levels of anxiety and fear are actually useful in our daily lives. When the fear and anxiety go beyond reasonable levels and hinder the ability to function effectively, we are then looking at a phobia. Phobias when developed in the person seem to take on a life of their own. It is not unusual for psychologists and physicians to work with persons who have panic attacks resulting from phobias that have the same symptoms as a heart attack. Visits to the HOSPITAL ER are not uncommon. Persons that experience the symptoms are absolutely convinced they could be dying. If not as dramatic, other phobias hinder the ability of persons to function due to a fear of heights, spiders, wasps, open spaces, crowded spaces, driving on the expressway,hyper-cleanliness, food danger, sitting in the backseat of a car, being a passenger in a car, not sitting near an exit, not sitting on the aisle in an airplane, fear of flying, etc. in a really never-ending list of possibilities. Because persons are often embarrassed to admit their phobias, they often are prisoners of them and lead a life where they will do anything they can not confront them. The phobia actually becomes an overriding decision-maker in the person’s actions. I have seen and continue to work with persons who have phobias that negatively impact their ability to function. The most effective strategies to overcome phobias include some combination of the following: 1. EXPOSURE THERAPY/DESENSITIZATION where the person gradually introduces self to the phobia in small doses and eventually is able to overcome it. A common strategy would be to eventually be able to ride on an elevator or fly on a plane by gradual exposure to them. 2. COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY is when a person confronts the problem mentally and works to change the thinking patterns as they attempt to overcome the anxiety and fears resulting from the phobia. 3. MEDICATIONS include beta-blockers, antidepressants, and sedatives like Xanax. 4. DEEP BREATHING to help reduce anxiety and reduce symptoms. 5. FLOODING THE PHOBIA Is when you confront the phobia directly over and over again. Example, if you are fearful of riding an elevator you do it over and over again to reduce the anxiety to the point it is as normal a behavior for you as it would be for the average person. 6.SUPPORT GROUPS online or in-person where a person can get group support. A danger is that members may swap symptoms and the person may not be helped. 7. AN EXPERIENCED THERAPIST who is able to address the behavioral aspects of the phobia. 8.A FAMILY PHYSICIAN OR PSYCHIATRIST to address medication that can be helpful…An important thing to be aware of is that phobias are present in large numbers of persons and they can be very debilitating and lead to persons not living peaceful lives. Because most persons do not understand phobias,they can appear ridiculous and incomprehensible. Because of this, persons often keep their phobias to themselves and do not find release from the emotional pain they experience. The implementation of the strategies above can hopefully help persons overcome their phobias.

Aug 31, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anger, anger management, Anxiety, bipolar, career change, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, narcisism, narcisist, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, raising children, retirement, self esteem, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR- Subscribe to our page :-)

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR 1320 AM WILS 8-31-21

Simply stated, self-destructive behavior is damaging to the person psychologically, physically, or both. Examples of psychological self-destructive behavior would include debilitating fear, compulsive behaviors like gambling or shopping, extreme sadness, and unhappiness, not being able to relate to other people in a healthy way, eating disorders, PTSD, and phobias. Examples of physical self-destructive behavior would include suicide, substance and alcohol abuse, risky and impulsive sexual behaviors, self-injury, and compulsive behavior resulting in risky physical activities that can lead to death or major injuries. The causes of self-destructive behavior are varied. They would include high anxiety,risk attraction,risk aversion,extreme fear,social isolation,OCD,phobias,PTSD,addiction,low self-esteem, personality disorders, ADHD,emotional abuse,and childhood abuse. One can simply look at the overdose deaths in America and see how such risky behaviors can lead to death for many thousands of persons each year. A more subtle self-destructive behavior is sabotaging yourself in life and not advancing in such areas as work, love, and personal relationships. If you find that you have self-destructive behavior and want to take control over it,the first step is to say you are going to end it and do something to change it. Immediate sources of support would include family, friends, therapists, medical doctors, clergy, and support groups.

Aug 18, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, career change, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, retirement, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio speaks with Dave Akerly U.S. WORKERS UNDER 40 CONSIDERED CHANGING CAREERS DURING PANDEMIC

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM NEARLY A THIRD OF U.S. WORKERS UNDER 40 CONSIDERED CHANGING CAREERS DURING THE PANDEMIC That headline from the Washington Post giving data from a recent July 6 to July 21 poll by the Washington Post-Schar School of Policy and Government at George Mason University gives us some fascinating information about a surprise outcome of the horrible pandemic. During a period when many persons lost jobs, had to rely on unemployment benefits, and were often working from home occurred,changes occurred in the way many Americans looked at their lives. Previously, persons often were in jobs and assumed that this was what their work life was going to be. They accepted they would drive back-and-forth to an office,factory,work site, retail,restaurant or whatever particular job they were in. This all changed. Persons began to enjoy being able to work from home with often the ability to spend a lot of quality time with children and spouses that before was not possible. This led to many persons deciding they were not going to return to a traditional office setting and were going to seek work so they could continue to work from home if their employer did not allow it. Still others with the ability to work from home chose to move to locations that met the type of lifestyle they desired. I personally know two persons who moved from Michigan to Florida and one to Texas. I also know a person who returned to Michigan to live near family. The pandemic has also led to many persons being able to change careers and continue their education while on unemployment or able to have more time to consider work career enhancement training. This could occur by persons having so much more time at home versus on the road traveling from one place to another often in a hurry or in congested traffic. In the study mentioned above, 17% of persons said they had already moved either temporarily or permanently. That persons under 40 are the persons most likely to make this kind of move makes sense because this is the time that persons are not so far advanced in their careers at work settings that leaving and beginning a new career or a similar job in a new geographical setting would be as difficult to do. What is surprising to find out is that the United States in June had a record of 10.1 million jobs available. This has led to employers offering more work flexibility to retain workers as well as raising pay and offering different benefits. The pandemic has also taught many persons guarantees are often not granted in life. The statement that change is the one thing one can count on is very true. As this poll shows,some positive things have resulted from this deathly pandemic. Millions of people are reassessing important aspects of their lives including career choice, location to live it,meaning in life,and potential new careers and relationships with family and friends. These are positive things coming from the horrible impact we continue to experience from the pandemic in our daily lives.

Aug 10, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, retirement, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of WILS discuss REDUCE THE STRESS OF DECISION MAKING-subscribe to our page!

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS REDUCE THE STRESS OF DECISION MAKING 8-10-21 Decision making in the simplest of lives to those of the highest levels of government or industry can be painful and produce great stress. Countless books, speeches and articles that pertain to effective decision-making continue to occur all the time. The following are some basic suggestions to reduce the stress and pain of decision-making: 1. Clearly identify the problem to be solved. 2.Effectively recognize the difference between important and routine/unimportant/less important decisions. This alone can greatly reduce stress in a person’s life. 3.Search for alternatives to solve it. 4.Determine if the decision is reversible or irreversible. This is a very import factor in decision making. 5.Consult with others as needed. 6.Play the devil’s advocate on possible decisions. 7.When time is not critical and it is hard to make an important decision, take some time to think about it. There are times the old proverb,LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP,is useful. 8.When time is critical and a decision must be made, make it and never second guess a decision that cannot be redone. In such a case the old proverb,STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT,is useful to guide in such situations…The intent here is not to go into depth on such a complicated matter as decision making. The important thing is that many if not most persons waste a lot of time not making decisions and then worrying about them when they do make them. Hopefully, the basic suggestions above will be helpful.

Aug 7, 2021 braccioj Blog 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anger, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, resentment, retirement, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of WILS discuss RESENTMENT AND ITS NEGATIVE IMPACT- subscribe to our page!

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of WILS discuss RESENTMENT AND ITS NEGATIVE IMPACT August 3, 2021 Resentment is a psychological reaction when one feels mistreated. One can also have bitterness/resentment at self if one believes opportunities were ignored or thrown away. Resentment does not have one cause. Disappointment and frustration are common feelings we all experience to some degree or another as we live our lives. When the feelings are some combination of bitterness, anger, disappointment, envy, and feeling used, then resentment can set in and can last for a lifetime if not resolved. Triggers for resentment could include being passed over for a job or opportunity, not listened to, taken advantage of, put down, rejected, ridiculed, mocked, ignored, missing or ignoring an opportunity, not allowed to do something in life, envious of others, relationship betrayal or rejection, etc. Resentment is like an emotional corrosive acid that eats away at the very soul of the person. If aimed at a person, it punishes you while the object of the resentment is often leading a happy life unaware of your resentment or could care less. Ways to fight resentment include forgiving and letting go, honestly determining if your resentment is realistic and fair, self-forgiveness/compassion for errors/mistakes,replace negative thoughts with positive ones,recognizing only you can change your own views of resentment,accepting you cannot change the past,accept you cannot often change outlooks or behaviors of others in the past or present,stay away from toxic people,and above all,forgive what you can and let go of what you feel you cannot. The SERENITY PRAYER is a good read when resentment builds up and someone needs to let it go for their own mental and physical health. The following quote from it can be very helpful as a person tries to overcome resentment: GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE;COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN;AND WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

Jul 31, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, retirement, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss IS YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP FOR LIFE?

July 27, 2021 From someone who was involved for some years with the Pre-Cana Marriage Preparation program in the Diocese of Lansing, and currently continues to work with persons prior to and after their marriage, it is surprising how many persons do not effectively analyze the relationship they are in and are planning to spend a lifetime without answering questions like the following. 1. Will each of you help make the other person a better human being? 2.Do either of you have secret plans to try to make major changes in the other person? 3. Are you able to share decision-making and power in a fair manner? 4.Are each of you the best friend of the other? 5.Do each of you think in terms of “us” or in terms of “I”? 6.Are each of you comfortable sharing passwords for social media and financial accounts? 7.Do each of you have a realistic understanding of the positive and negative traits of the other? 8. Do you see potential problem areas relating to financial decisions, philandering, team player attitudes, parenting, etc.? 9.Do each of you share common values pertaining to religion, politics, child rearing and general views of living together as a monogamous couple? 10.Are each of you able to disagree in a civil manner and work together to resolve problems as well as agreeing to mutual areas of disagreement? 11. Are each of you willing to sacrifice for the other one taking into account the needs and desires of each other? 12. Are you both sexually compatible? 13. Do close friends and family members believe the two of you will make a good lifelong relationship?… These are questions that I believe are important for any couple thinking of entering a marriage together for a lifetime to be able to answer. I remember many years ago when I was going over to St. Thomas Aquinas Church in East Lansing, Michigan to do part of the Pre-Cana Marriage Training when a person I was talking to suggested I have each partner look at the other and ask the following questions: “Would you want that person to help raise your children?”Would you want a child who would become like that person?” This is actually good advice. I simply give this example to let you know that any person you talk to can give you some ideas on what is important in a marriage; however, the important thing is to take into account your interactions together as well as opinions from those that know both of you with love and caring. When in doubt and not sure what to do, it is important to consider meeting with a respected clergy or therapist experienced in marital work to give some needed perspective.

Jul 26, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, retirement, talk radio, wils

HOW TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN ANXIETY AND ADHD

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN ANXIETY AND ADHD July 20, 2021 Anxiety and ADHD have in common such characteristics as worry,inattention, restlessness and irritability. The key difference in ADHD characteristics is that they primarily relate to concerns stemming from focus and inattention while anxiety stems from fear and nervousness. Anxiety is far more common with 19.1% having it as opposed to 4.4% with ADHD. With that said, ADHD has a comorbidity of 50% with anxiety. The following are necessary to come up with a correct diagnosis to obtain the appropriate treatment both psychologically and medically for each condition. 1.The DSM-V requires onset of ADHD to begin prior to 12 years of age while anxiety can occur at any age. 2.Triggers for anxiety relate to the “what ifs” that could occur in almost any situation. ADHD is generally triggered about deadlines and performance related activities. 3.Testing is important for both anxiety and ADHD. This includes observations and clinical history for both. ADHD testing tends to be more extensive and includes measures for processing speed, working memory and errors that commonly occur when persons have characteristics of ADHD. These measures can also be helpful with anxiety. 4.Appropriate treatment both psychologically and medically for each condition requires valid diagnosis. This can include when a person has both conditions.

Jul 19, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, retirement, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO CONTROL POOR FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT/OVERSPENDING

Dr. Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO CONTROL POOR FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT/OVERSPENDING- Subscribe to our YouTube page! July 13, 2021 A problem for many Americans is how to control their poor financial management/overspending. The following are some steps that a person can take to resolve this problem: 1.Plan a budget and stick to it. 2.Do not let failure stop you from going back on track. 3.Cut up the credit cards. 4.Make money hard to get to spend. 5.Stay away from spending temptations. 6.Grocery shop when not hungry and with a specific grocery list. 7.Make your own meals and stay away from restaurants. 8.Set specific financial goals. 9.Visualize the emotional pain you will have when you overspend. 10. Visualize the future financial “you” and make it happen. 11. Put money into an IRA and/or work matching retirement program. 12. Shop wisely. 13. In a few words, sit yourself down and critically analyze why you make poor financial decisions/overspend and decide to end the problem and become financially responsible…The previous steps can help to that end. If deemed appropriate, you can seek out an experienced financial planner and/or therapist experienced with persons who have problems with financial management/overspending.

Jul 6, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dealing with death, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW A LOVED ONE CAN TALK TO A LOVED ONE WHO HURTS YOUR FEELINGS

HOW A LOVED ONE CAN TALK TO A LOVED ONE WHO HURTS YOUR FEELINGS. July 6, 2021

Hey It is very difficult for anyone to deal with a hurt that is caused by someone who is loved and cared for. The first reactions could be lashing out in anger or going into a shell and not wanting to talk at all. Neither of these reactions is effective. The important thing to do is be able to have communication that allows each person the opportunity to best solve the problem together. The person who is hurt is best advised to in a caring way bring up the concern at a personal level and not attack the other person for what was said or done. The next strategy is to give a solution to the problem that can be discussed. This allows the person who hopefully inadvertently did the hurting to have an opportunity to help in the problem-solving so it does not happen again. Typical examples would be forgetting a birthday or important date, making plans and not considering desires or feelings of the loved person, saying words or statements that are sarcastic or mean spirited, not being available in times of need, not caring for the feelings of the person, not being tuned into the person when there is a strong emotional need for discussion and problem-solving,and on and on in an almost never ending set of possibilities. The important thing to remember is that the silent treatment and anger may work in some situations and even for a period of time; however, these strategies do not work over time and tend to hurt and even destroy relationships. The important thing is to be able to resolve problems in a way that each can have respect and feel good about whatever resolution is determined. Problem-solving of this nature is often very difficult because there is often a lack of agreement on the gravity of the problem and thus the importance of the need for the resolution. The key factor is when people love each other,they must be open to problem-solving discussion when concerns arise. If problem-solving is not able to be done by the persons involved, it can be helpful to bring in clergy,a trusted friend or family member. An additional option would be to find a therapist who is familiar and experienced with problem-solving among loving persons.

Jul 2, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, focus, inattention, john braccio, loss of loved one, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, talk radio, wils

TALKING TO A LOVED ONE WHO IS TERMINALLY ILL

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss TALKING TO A LOVED ONE WHO IS TERMINALLY ILL

Friends and family often do not know what to say when a beloved friend or family member is terminally ill and they know death is near. They want to be sensitive and caring, yet confusion can be powerful with no clear sense of what to say or do. They do not want to upset the person and cause them unnecessary emotional harm. Simply stated, being genuine, sensitive and caring are key characteristics that are needed to be helpful to the loved one who is dying. The following are some specific suggestions on how to be the most loving and helpful: 1.Focus on the person and not the illness. 2.Treat the person as normal as possible. Good discussion can come when death is not the topic unless the person wants to talk about it. 3.Allow the person to discuss what is felt comfortable. Old memories and even current events may be the preferred topics. 4. As health makes possible, keep the loved person involved in social events and social discussions. 5.Offer support and help with true sincerity. Often asking for help may be very difficult for a proud and independent person who now is in need of help. 6.If the person does not desire to see you in person due to the illness, communicate by phone, email, etc. as the person prefers. 7.Decide what you would like to tell the person and bring it up in the conversation when appropriate and possible. 8. Realistically accept the reality of the person’s death if the person has and does not want sympathy. Empathy and understanding are needed. You can still be as positive as the reality allows. 9.Silence may be desired. 10.Sensitive touching may be desired. 11. Read to the person if desired. 12 Celebrate the life of the person and your memories together…There is no way that it can be easy to say goodbye to a loved person or relative. The overriding important thing is to make the person as comfortable as possible and make the last memories you have together be meaningful to the loved person as well as the memories you will carry for the rest of your life.

Jun 24, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss ADHD AND PROCRASTINATION WITH HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS TO OVERCOME THEM

ADHD AND PROCRASTINATION WITH HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS TO OVERCOME THEM- SUBSCRIBE to our page! 6-22-21 As inattention, focus and hyperactivity are hallmarks of ADHD, they also can directly relate to procrastination. In fact, ADHD and procrastination are often comorbid conditions in the same person. The following are some ways to help someone diagnosed with ADHD or with the symptoms to overcome procrastination that can result in a lack of progress in one’s career and personal life. 1.Set a timeline for completing a project. 2.Identify the specific components that make it up with timelines for each one. 3.Set up specific times you will work on the project with a break after you complete it in the time allocated. For example, work 20 minutes and take a five-minute break. 4.Do not multitask and run the risk of not completing any project. 5.Realistically determine how much time it will take to complete a project. 6. Reward yourself when you complete a project consistent with your time allocation. 7.Focus on each specific component that needs to be done and do not get bogged down worrying about the total project. If you fail in completing a particular component of a project or the project itself, do not feel defeated and quit trying. No, it is time to work hard to complete the component that is not completed and go onto the next one. 8.Do cognitive restructuring by replacing a negative thought with a positive one when working on a project that needs to be completed. Instead of saying to yourself that you cannot do something, tell yourself you can do it and believe it. 9.Seek professional counseling from a therapist who can help with overcoming the problem areas of ADHD and resulting procrastination if they result in your not being able to complete projects that need to be done for work, personal satisfaction, or both.

Jun 16, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, john braccio, neuropsychology, psychologist, ptsd, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HUMAN LIFELONG REGRETS AND HOW TO OVERCOME THEM

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM June 15, 2021 HUMAN LIFELONG REGRETS AND HOW TO OVERCOME THEM I believe it is safe to say that all persons have regrets as they live their lives. They generally relate to things they have not done or wish they had done. These regrets would include the following: 1. Not dating someone or wishing an attempt had been made. 2.Not developing friendships that in retrospect the person’s wishes had been done. 3.Not going into a career where true passion existed. 4.Going into a career or marriage others wanted and you felt forced into. 5.Wasted time worrying about things that did not happen. 6. Not resolving conflicts with persons in the past or even into the present. 7. Turning down the job, location of the country to live, or career that was desired and not taken. 8. Working too much. 9.Losing a marriage, relationship with children, family, and friends due to inappropriate behavior. 10. Belief that parenting and/or spousal relationship are not as desired or how they could have been. 11. Not completing important goals in life. 12. Being too serious and not enjoying so much that life has to offer. 13. Guilt for things done or said in the past that have not or cannot be resolved. 14 Choosing work over family and friends. 15 Looking after and pleasing others to the neglect of self…Persons often can go into depression or feel bad about themselves because they have many regrets about their lives. My advice to them is that one cannot deal with things that cannot be resolved in the present. The important thing is to move forward and take control of what one can. The following are suggestions on how to get over the regrets one has in their lives:1. Change what you can do realistically. 2.Create new goals and begin to implement them. 3. Complete achievable goals that have been discarded and bring them to fruition. 4.Accept reality and find happiness in it. 5. Analyze your decision-making and make it more effective by looking at the ineffective decisions that have been made to the present. 6. Apologize for hurting others in the past. 7.Rekindle old friendships and family relationships from the past.8.Seek out professional support from a career, business, spiritual or psychological perspective…The important thing to know is however much life you have left, do what you can do now and not focus on what you have not done in the past. Your future begins now.

Jun 1, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adhd children, Anxiety, braccio, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, east lansing, friendships, hope, making friends, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, schools and mental health, therapy during covid, wils, wisdom

Dr. Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHEN DIVORCE IS THE RIGHT CHOICE-Subscribe to our page!

Dr. Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHEN DIVORCE IS THE RIGHT CHOICE June 1, 2021 his is our fifth and for now final last segment on divorce. Much is appropriately written about the negative outcomes of divorce. With that said, the negative effects of dysfunctional marriages can also be such that divorce is the right choice for all involved. The following are reasons when divorce is the right choice. The first three are so horrible that they need to end in divorce. 1. Sexual abuse. 2. Physical abuse. 3. Emotional abuse. 4.Substance abuse. 5.Endless arguing. 6.Infidelity. 7.Severe lack of commitment. 8.Severe lack of common goals for now and the future. 9.Long-term neglect of the marriage. 10. Severe differences in parenting styles. 11.Changing spiritual outlooks. 12. Long-term family conflicts. 13.Chronic monetary conflicts—including gambling.

May 25, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adhd children, Anxiety, braccio, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, east lansing, friendships, hope, making friends, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, schools and mental health, therapy during covid, wils, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss POSSIBLE POSITIVE OUTCOMES FOR CHILDREN

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss POSSIBLE POSITIVE OUTCOMES FOR CHILDREN OF DIVORCE- 5-25-21
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This is the fourth segment we have done on divorce. Today we discuss possible positive outcomes for children of divorce. They are presented with awareness of the great havoc divorce, regardless of the legitimacy of it, can have on children. They would include the following1.Parents modeling good parenting. 2.Understand marriage can fail and learn from the experiences of their parents. 3.Closer relationships with siblings and other family members. 4.Greater appreciation of close friendships. 5.Potentially more quality time with each parent in a positive atmosphere. 6.Greater empathy and understanding of problems others have when divorce or other major problems occur for them. 7.Learn greater self-sufficiency as each parent may not be able or desire to live separately as they could as a couple. 8. Better communication with each parent as their needs and interests are expressed and understood. 9.Find and develop greater strength of purpose and character out of the emotionally difficult times they can experience from divorce. 10. A greater sense of spirituality and/or moral gravity when trying to find purpose in life.

May 19, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adhd children, Anxiety, braccio, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, east lansing, friendships, hope, making friends, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, schools and mental health, therapy during covid, wils, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss THE PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN-subscribe to our page

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM, in the third part in a series on divorce, discuss THE PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN
May 18, 2021
This is the third segment we have done on divorce. I preface my comments with an awareness that divorce is a reasonable outcome when abuse, philandering, constant arguing, and irreconcilable differences between the couple can lead to the point that divorce is preferable and even necessary. With that said, the impact of divorce on children can range from minor to significant problems in adjustment. Children of divorce too often have to deal with one or more of the following: 1.Loss of one or both parents for a significant period of time weekly, monthly, or any time agreement the parents and/or courts decide. 2.Downsizing of home and other financial changes that can range from small to severe financial restraints. 3. Separation from beloved family members from one or both parents. 4.Subtle or outright attempts at parental alienation. 5.Limited interactions and even ending of friendships due to emotional distress. 6.Shame. 7.Anger. 8.Depression. 9. Anxiety 10 PTSD. 11.Poor academic performance. 12.Insecurity. 13.Guilt for break-up of parents. 14.Feelings of loss. 15.Poor relationships with the opposite sex/partners that can exist for a lifetime. 16.Physical problems. 17. Physical acting out behaviors. 18. Emotional acting out conflicts. 19. Necessity to adapt to stepparents and step-siblings. It is important to note blended families are a primary reason for follow-up divorces…When you look at the potential problems for children of divorce, even if not intentional, that can occur from a divorce, it is important parents think very hard about doing everything they can to keep the marriage together.

May 18, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adhd children, Anxiety, braccio, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, east lansing, friendships, hope, making friends, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, schools and mental health, therapy during covid, wils, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHAT TO LEARM FROM YOUR DIVORCE

WHY PEOPLE DIVORCE 5-4-21
This is the first of a series of podcasts to be done on divorce. My point is not to challenge the need for divorce in many cases but rather to discuss the importance of trying to maintain marriages in a mutually loving and meaningful manner…In an age when up to fifty percent of marriages will predictably fail,it is important to know why. It is even worse in second marriages where divorces predictably will be more than sixty percent. Divorce,blended families and single parent households are as common as apple pie. Considering the importance of successful marriages for the mental health of spouses,children and society as a whole,it is surprising how many persons enter marriage not understanding the potential problems that may occur. These potential problems include the following: 1.Youthful /immature marriage. 2.Financial concerns. 3.Physical intimacy. 4.Emotional intimacy. 5.Changing life directions. 6.Infidelity. 7.Extreme competing control issues. 8.Addictions. 9.Falling out of love. 10.Constant fighting. 11. Childbearing and pregnancy before marriage. 12.Divorce of parents. 13 No religious beliefs. 14.Lack of marital preparation or counseling. 15.Divorce of parents. 15.Unrealistic marital expectations. 16.Addictions. 17.Physical abuse. 18.Emotional abuse. 19.Less education.

May 10, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adhd children, Anxiety, braccio, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, east lansing, friendships, hope, making friends, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, schools and mental health, therapy during covid, wils, wisdom

Dr Braccio speaks with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM on WHY PEOPLE DIVORCE

May 4, 2021
WHY PEOPLE DIVORCE. This is the first of a series of podcasts to be done on divorce. My point is not to challenge the need for divorce in many cases but rather to discuss the importance of trying to maintain marriages in a mutually loving and meaningful manner…In an age when up to fifty percent of marriages will predictably fail,it is important to know why. It is even worse in second marriages where divorces predictably will be more than sixty percent. Divorce,blended families and single parent households are as common as apple pie. Considering the importance of successful marriages for the mental health of spouses,children and society as a whole,it is surprising how many persons enter marriage not understanding the potential problems that may occur. These potential problems include the following: 1.Youthful /immature marriage. 2.Financial concerns. 3.Physical intimacy. 4.Emotional intimacy. 5.Changing life directions. 6.Infidelity. 7.Extreme competing control issues. 8.Addictions. 9.Falling out of love. 10.Constant fighting. 11. Childbearing and pregnancy before marriage. 12.Divorce of parents. 13 No religious beliefs. 14.Lack of marital preparation or counseling. 15.Divorce of parents. 15.Unrealistic marital expectations. 16.Addictions. 17.Physical abuse. 18.Emotional abuse. 19.Less education.

Apr 26, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO BUILD STRONGER FRIENDSHIPS- be sure to subscribe

4-20-21 HOW TO BUILD STRONGER FRIENDSHIPS is becoming more important to many persons at this time. In an age that persons often marry later in life,choose not to have children,choose to have only one or two children,choose not to marry,have high levels of divorce,and often live far from family members,friends become very important in our lives to help balance us mentally and emotionally. We choose them as they take the place of the traditional large family of parents,siblings and extended family. They also can be very important even with a large extended family with strained relations because we choose them. Behaviors to help build strong friendships would include the following: 1.Empathy. You try to emotionally walk in their shoes to better understand their lives and behaviors. 2. Heathy boundaries for each person so there is a level of fairness each receives. 3.Always be authentic to who you are as a person and give credence to your thoughts and feelings. 4.Honesty is essential in any relationship. 5.Caring and platonic love allow us to be there emotionally in the best and worst of times. 6.Celebrate events past and present that cement the friendship over the years. 7.Confidentiality when desired…A few quotes that say a lot about friendship are as follows: A FRIEND IS ANOTHER YOU-Cicero. THE ONLY WAY TO HAVE A FRIEND IS TO BE ONE-Ralph Waldo Emerson. A FRIEND MAY BE WAITING BEHIND A STRANGER’S FACE-Maya Angelou-MY BEST FRIEND WHO BRINGS OUT THE BEST IN ME-Henry Ford. A SWEET FRIENDSHIP REFRESHES THE SOUL-Proverbs 27:9. A GOOD FRIEND IS ONE WHO WALKS IN WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD WALKS OUT-Walter Winchell.

Apr 16, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, braccio, Depression, east lansing, existentialism, hope, meaning in life, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, wils, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss WHAT IS THE MOST MEANINGFUL AGE IN A PERSON’S LIFE? 4-13-21

This is a question many persons have pondered and debated over the centuries. These thoughts will hopefully trigger some thoughts in you. I remember a random discussion I had in the late 60s with a wise older woman from the Philippines teaching Spanish in Compton Schools, California. At that time, I was working in Compton as a School Psychologist. In our discussion, she said in the Philippines there was a saying or belief that indicated a 40-year-old had the opportunity to look backward as if on a mountain peak at the previous life experiences and with this view could look forward and anticipate what the future would be, based on what had been learned in those 40 years. . That conversation still intrigues me and I think of it often. I have observed over the years that if wisdom and appropriate skills are developed, it is true the second half of one’s life would be predictably meaningful and good. If not, then it would predictably not be true for that person. It is totally dependent on what the person has learned in those first 40 years…I think meaning for a young person from high school until 40 is about finding purpose in life and setting out with goals and dreams to be accomplished and trying to build the life skills to accomplish them. That can be a very meaningful age for the person. From ages 40-60, the person is attempting to accomplish those goals and will begin to keep track of what is being accomplished and what is still desired to be accomplished. That can be a very meaningful age for that person. As a person is into the 60s and later, it is time to review the life the person has lived and hopefully find meaning and satisfaction on what has occurred. That also can be a very meaningful age for that person. The satisfaction and meaningfulness during these age periods will be determined by what has been accomplished and still desired to be accomplished. The overall point is that satisfaction in life does not relate to any particular age period. The course of one’s life may make periods more meaningful or not. Hopefully, each period will be meaningful with youth filled with great energy, middle years with the implementation of dreams with later age being one of reflection and satisfaction…For emphasis, I believe it to be true that there is no one better and more meaningful age. It totally depends on the person who is leading the life and what satisfaction and meaning are occurring at any particular time. Overall successful persons are happy at any age and find meaningfulness in what they are doing and desire to accomplish. I might add, young persons can also gain satisfaction and meaningful thoughts from what occurred earlier in their lives.

Apr 8, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, Depression, family therapy, john braccio, mental health, mental health during covid, mental health during pandemic, pandemic and depression, psychologist, self-harm, Suicide, therapy, therapy during covid

PARENTS NEED TO MODEL RESPECTFUL COMMUNICATION WITH THEIR CHILDREN BY DOING IT WITH THEM

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly 1320 AM 4-8-21
PARENTS NEED TO MODEL RESPECTFUL COMMUNICATION WITH THEIR CHILDREN BY DOING IT WITH THEM. In a time where the country is very divided and polarized politically and neither trusts the other half,regardless of where we stand on many of the issues in the cultural debate,parents need to be respectful of their children and help them be the same way with other honorable people. To be able to listen,understand,and disagree in a respectful manner is what is needed to have children who will grow into the same kind of persons as their parents. Instruction and modeling of good behavior are crucial roles of loving and caring parents. Another positive outcome of such respectful conversation is the ability to continue discussions at the time of the disagreement and the lifetime that follows. We need to be beware there can be two or even more ways to solve a problem.

Mar 30, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, covid and depression, fully licensed psychologist, john braccio, mental health, pandemic and depression, psychology, self-harm, Suicide, therapy during covid

Listen to Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss new guidance from CDC on self-harm and the rise in suicide as the pandemic drags on.

CDC(CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION)STUDY SHOWS INCREASE IN SUICIDAL THOUGHTS IN AMERICANS FROM 4.3% IN AUGUST OF 2018 TO 11% IN AUGUST OF 2020. These are not the results a country is looking for from a mental health perspective. In fact, they are very painful and disheartening. They also are predictably enhanced by the COVID-19 PANDEMIC we are all experiencing. Approximately 50,000 persons commit suicide in the United States yearly. Every imaginable grouping of persons is vulnerable to suicide. Over the years all of us experience a family member, close friend or someone we know who committed suicide. I have personally had this happen myself. It is devastating for the persons left behind who will try to understand why this happened and often, unfortunately, have inappropriate guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, PTSD and feelings of hopelessness. It is important as a society that we talk about suicide and try to be helpful to persons who we know are going through difficult times. An unfortunate aspect of suicide prevention is that there are persons who are able to hide their pain from those around them who love and care for them. It also is true if a person determines to commit suicide, over time they will do it in spite of the most loving and caring attempts to prevent it. Again, I am personally aware of this happening in my own life and professional experiences. The following are some suggestions for what we can do when we believe someone we know and care for is going through a particularly hard time and are concerned suicide is a possibility: 1.Talk to the person in a caring but straight forward manner to understand where the person is emotional. 2.Ask if the person has had or has suicidal thoughts and has a plan to do it. 3.Ask if the person has any weapons in the home. if yes, ask if they were recently purchased. 4.Ask if the person is doing such things as calling persons for a last call, giving away personally important things, putting important life matters in order, social withdrawal, preoccupation with death, risky and atypical behaviors such as excessive alcohol consumption and/or drugs, and personality changes from extreme serenity to extreme agitation. 5.If your concerns merit it, try to convince the person to seek professional support including the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255. 6.If the person is clearly suicidal and in need of immediate help, you can call 911 or if the situation merits it, take the person to the hospital yourself.

Mar 24, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, Depression, east lansing, john braccio, neuropsychology, psychologist, ptsd, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss how COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY CAN BE HELPFUL

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss how COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY CAN BE HELPFUL 3-23-21 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a psychological treatment to help persons understand how negative thoughts and resulting behaviors negatively impact them and their lives. Psychological problems are seen as the result of these negative and faulty thoughts. The goal is to understand what specific thought patterns are causing them to function ineffectively and replace them with positive ones. A further goal is that persons can become their own therapists. CBT has been found to be helpful with overcoming anxiety, PTSD, OCD, depression, marital issues, alcohol and substance abuse disorders, sexual disorders, and eating disorders. The following are CBT techniques that can help eliminate dysfunctional behaviors and resulting unhappiness: 1.GOALS ARE MEASURABLE, SPECIFIC AND TIME-RELATED. 2.COGNITIVE RESTRUCTURING IS THE REPLACING OF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS WITH POSITIVE ONES. 3.JOURNALING IS THE PRACTICE OF WRITING DOWN NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND WRITING POSITIVE THOUGHTS TO REPLACE THEM. 4.DESENSITIZATION BY GRADUALLY CONFRONTING UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS AND IDEAS TO OVERCOME THEM. 5.HOMEWORK IS OFTEN GIVEN BY THERAPISTS TO HELP PERSONS PRACTICE TECHNIQUES AND STRATEGIES DISCUSSED DURING COUNSELING SESSIONS. 6.ROLEPLAYING TO BETTER BE ABLE TO CONFRONT PERSONS OR SITUATIONS THAT CAUSE US FEAR AND/OR DISCOMFORT.

Mar 18, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, college, dave akerly, dementia, Depression, east lansing, john braccio, memory loss, neuropsychology, psychologist, son comes home, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM: PEACEFUL HOME LIFE WHEN YOUR YOUNG ADULT CHILD MOVES BACK HOME 3-16-21

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM: PEACEFUL HOME LIFE WHEN YOUR YOUNG ADULT CHILD MOVES BACK HOME 3-16-21 PEACEFUL HOME LIFE WHEN YOUR YOUNG ADULT CHILD MOVES BACK HOME. To leave home and go forward to live one’s own life is part of the normal growth cycle. The average age for a child to leave home is 19. Influenced by COVID to predictably a large extent,52% of persons aged 18-29 had returned home as of July 2020. This has resulted in difficulties in many homes for children/adults and their parents. Even though often hard to do with the best of intentions,the best outcome is predicted when the following are attempted: AGREED UPON EXPECTATIONS FOR BOTH…TIMELINE TO BE BE LIVING WITH PARENTS…CLEAR BOUNDARIES…STRUCTURE…FINANCIAL EXPECTATIONS…HONESTY… MUTUAL RESPECT…KINDNESS…TOLERANCE…UNDERSTANDING…CHILDREN/ADULTS RECOGNIZE THE RIGHT OF PARENTS TO SET EXPECTATIONS…ACTIVE LISTENING TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER…LOVE…THE NEED FOR PARENTS TO RECOGNIZE THEIR CHILDREN ARE NOW ALSO ADULTS…POLITENESS…SET UP SPECIFIC WAYS TO EXPRESS CONCERNS AND A PROBLEM-SOLVING PROCESS.

Mar 13, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts

KEEP YOUR MIND SHARP

Dr Braccio speaks with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM on 3-2-21 on the topic of KEEP YOUR MIND SHARP. Your mind, like your body, needs to be exercised on a daily basis. The following is what can be gone to keep your mind sharp: READ AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE…LISTEN TO MUSIC AND PAY ATTENTION TO IT…MEET NEW PEOPLE AND GET TO KNOW THEM…BE CURIOUS ANS STAY CURIOUS…TALK TO FAMILY, FRIENDS, ASSOCIATES, AND ACQUAINTANCES AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE…HAVE FUN AND LAUGH A LOT…GO OUTSIDE AND CONNECT WITH NATURE…TRAVEL A MILE OR THOUSANDS TO SEE DIFFERENT THINGS AND PAY ATTENTION TO THEM…CHANGE YOUR ROUTINE…GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND LEARN SOMETHING NEW…EXERCISE…SELF-HYPNOSIS,DEEP RELAXATION,MEDITATION,ETC…SLEEP WELL..EAT HEALTHY…STOP SMOKING…

Feb 25, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

THE EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL PAIN OF SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 discuss THE EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL PAIN OF SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER 2-23-21

Anxiety is a common human trait that can actually be helpful in our lives as we encounter the normal stresses of life. When meeting new people, giving presentations or interacting with others causes us to become anxious to the point we cannot function in our own lives, this is when we have Social Anxiety Disorder . With this condition, we are filled with fear, embarrassment, anxiety produced physical symptoms and self-consciousness so we become fearful of being negatively judged by others. An estimated 7.1% of persons in the United States have had Social Anxiety Disorder the past year. For adults, females have a frequency of 8% and men 6.1%. For anyone who has had it or suffered from it, the emotional and even physical pain that result can be debilitating. About one in eight persons have had Social Anxiety Disorder at one time or another. It is the third most common mental disorder in the United States. More than 75% of persons who suffer from it first experience the symptoms when children or early childhood. The following are the key elements that professional treatment entails: 1.Educational awareness of the social anxiety sources and symptoms. 2.Counseling, particularly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. 3.Medication as deemed appropriate. Particularly effective have been the SSRIs. These would include Zoloft, Celexa, Prozac, Lexapro and Paxil.

Feb 16, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly Discuss on 1320 AM to TREAT EVERYDAY AS VALENTINE’S DAY AND SIGNIFICANTLY IMPROVE THE EMOTIONAL AND SEXUAL COMPONENTS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

2-16-2021- Valentine’s Day is a special time of the year when couples share their love for each other with loving cards, comments and gifts of such things as chocolates and flowers. Solid relationships clearly are stronger when each member of the couple is aware there is gratitude, love, caring and a general awareness of the importance of the relationship. When this occurs,then the natural outcome is enhanced emotional and sexual compatibility that only gains strength as the couple develops deeper and more meaningful love over the years. Celebrating such events as anniversaries, birthdays,special days in your relationship and any other potential time to celebrate together the importance of your love for each other and the relationship will only enhance it. Too often people live in what becomes a boring routine relationship and true gratitude and love can become dimmed and the result is a loss of emotional and sexual satisfaction which can lead to withering and even an ending of the relationship. It is important to not allow this to happen and that each person in a relationship never forget why they are together. They are building a life together that can include children, a home, fun and work activities together. While these are all important aspects of a successful relationship, the showing of gratitude and acts of love will ensure loving times together on an ongoing basis. These are essential to have a positive emotional and sexual long-term relationship. That is why I am suggesting each day be treated as Valentine’s Day. You will see the results will be a greatly enhanced relationship based on strong and mutual emotional and sexual compatibility and desire.

Feb 4, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHY DAYDREAMING CAN BE PSYCHOLOGICALLY HELPFUL IN OUR DAY-TO-DAY LIVING

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHY DAYDREAMING CAN BE PSYCHOLOGICALLY HELPFUL IN OUR DAY-TO-DAY LIVING2-2-2021

WHY DAYDREAMING CAN BE PSYCHOLOGICALLY HELPFUL IN OUR DAY-TO-DAY LIVING. In a world that is often boring and sometimes even painful much of the time for many persons, the ability to daydream about various things can be very psychologically helpful in day-to-day living. This could be particularly true during this time of COVID. This excludes daydreaming that leads to confusion with reality that can lead a person to not be able to live a normal life by confusing daydreaming with reality or using it to not live in reality. The following positive examples where daydreaming or even fantasizing can be helpful psychologically would include the following: 1.Help us relax/keep calm when life has us on overload. 2.Help us better achieve our goals by daydreaming(visualizing) our accomplishing them with the positive feelings that would result. 3.Creating role models we can try to become. 4.Daydreaming about what might happen if changes in current life trajectory are made. This can lead to major life changes. 5.Identifying with fictional or real life persons can help a person feel a closeness that can be helpful in a life with few meaningful human relationships. 6.When mired in the process of completing school work or work related training for advancement to a desired work/educational outcome,daydreaming about finally obtaining the desired goal can help inspire us to keep working to accomplish the goal.

Jan 27, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr. Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS HOW TO HAVE A CIVILIZED CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE YOU HAVE STRONG DISAGREEMENTS.

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly 1-26-2020

HOW TO HAVE A CIVILIZED CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE YOU HAVE STRONG DISAGREEMENTS. The suggestions made here are based on situations where there is not a risk of physical or emotional abuse. Skill Sets that allow you to have a civilized discussion with someone you have strong disagreements are hard to find and develop in this world of the “cancel culture” where you eliminate someone you disagree with and never try to find common ground. I suggest the following strategies to use to have a civilized conversation. I must add personal disagreements go back as far as Cain and Abel. 1.Always respect the other person. 2.Accept your fears and concerns openly and honestly in your conversation. 3.Always respect the views of the other person as you present yours. 4.Be open about where you got your information if arguing a point on research. 5.Never use words like idiot, stupid, ignorant, imbecile, etc. in your discussions. This will quickly ruin the discussion and maybe the relationship. 6.Sincerely show your understanding of the other person’s position even if you disagree. 7.Never use sarcasm or pointed jokes that are meant to humiliate. That will quickly end the conversation. 8.Never be a know-it-all. Conversations and relationships can end quickly with a know-it-all. 9.Always voice appreciation to the person you strongly disagree with for the respect they have shown you in your conversation. That will lay the foundation for future civilized conversations. 10.Use of “active listening” where you encourage the person to get all their feelings out on a matter with no judgment on your part. The goal is to fully understand the position of the person even if you totally disagree. This is a hard skill to develop. 11.Never forget you can control what you say and how you say it. That is not the case for others.

Jan 19, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio Discusses on 1320 AM WILS: WHY PERSONS WHO WANT A RELATIONSHIP WILL NOT TAKE A CHANCE ON LOVE

January 19, 2021

Dr JohnBraccio discusses with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS:

WHY PERSONS WHO WANT A RELATIONSHIP WILL NOT TAKE A CHANCE ON LOVE

There are so many lonely and unhappy persons who will not take a chance on love. The following are reasons they will not: 1. Finding flaws in potential partners. 2.Letting “perfect” ruin good and very good potential relationships. 3.Fruitless comparison with ex-partners or spouses. 4. Letting the fear of rejection supersede the possibility for a loving relationship. 5. Setting rigid requirements that eliminate many promising potential partners…My advice is to be reasonable and give love a chance. In most cases, the rewards of a long term loving relationship are worth the risks.

Jan 14, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, Marriage, neurotic behavior, new years, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, Vaccine, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio Discusses on 1320 AM: WORKERS ARE MORE SATISFIED,HAPPY &PRODUCTIVE WHEN EMPLOYERS MAKE THE FOLLOWING AVAILABLE

Dr Braccio discusses with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS: WORKERS ARE MORE SATISFIED, HAPPY, AND PRODUCTIVE WHEN EMPLOYERS MAKE THE FOLLOWING AVAILABLE. 1-12-2021 Many of these do not cost anything and can bring great rewards and success to the company. Even at a time of great confusion and disruption in the workplace due to the Pandemic, the following being made to employees as much as possible are always critical to worker satisfaction, happiness, and productivity in the workplace. 1.Flexibility. 2.Feedback. 3.Constant honest communication from top to bottom. 4.Seek and utilize requested feedback and suggestions from employees. 5.Provide professional development and education. 6. Reward positive results. 7. Be as appreciative of employee effort. 8.Recognize career achievements. 9.Good benefits package. 10.Staff interactions to promote comradeship and team cohesiveness. 11.As possible, conferences and events to show appreciation and team spirit

Jan 7, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, Marriage, neurotic behavior, new years, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, Vaccine, worry, worrying

BEGIN 2021 DOING INTENTIONAL SEEMINGLY SMALL ACTS TO IMPROVE A GOOD MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS- January 5, 2021

BEGIN 2021 DOING INTENTIONAL SEEMINGLY SMALL ACTS TO IMPROVE A GOOD MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP. Too often when dealing with relationships, we focus on problems to be overcome. The purpose here is not to focus on the big things but on the small things that can cement a good relationship. They would include the following: 1.Give ongoing positive and honest compliments. 2.Strengthen positive aspects of the relationship. 3.Listen and try to better understand concerns. 4.Regularly share positive feelings you have been in the relationship. 5.Reinforce and support goals and dreams of your partner. 6. Regularly do unexpected small things that show caring. 7.Jointly problem-solve even on small matters. 8.Appreciate and notice the small things that make up the bulk of the time of a relationship.

Dec 30, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, Marriage, neurotic behavior, new years, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, Vaccine, worry, worrying

Dr. Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS discuss: 2020 IS FINALLY COMING TO AN END WE LOOK TO 2021 WITH HOPE FOR A RETURN FOR NORMALITY

12-29-2020 Dr Braccio speaks with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS: 2020 IS FINALLY COMING TO AN END AS WE LOOK AT 2021 WITH HOPE FOR A RETURN TO SOME FORM OF NORMALITY. 2020 has been an extremely difficult test of endurance as the Pandemic Terror grips the United States and the rest of the world. Levels of Anxiety,Depression,Substance Abuse,Exhaustion,Disillusionment and Feelings of Isolation have continued to grow as 2020 has worn on and on and on. Finally,2020 is ending. The Vaccines give hope for 2021 as does the ultimate herd immunity that will occur sometime in the future. At a positive level, human beings always fight for survival and even if battered will overcome this Pandemic. That some have grown spiritually is also positive as humans try to find purpose in life during crises. Even if we enter 2021 as the “beginning of the beginning” in the colossal battle against the Pandemic, there must be a beginning before we can have an ending. We are fortunately at that stage.

Dec 24, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, Christmas, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, holidays, iMovie, Love, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, Vaccine, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS- CHRISTMAS IS THE GREAT CHRISTIAN HOLIDAY WHERE GOD SENT HIS ONLY SON-JESUS CHRIST-TO DIE FOR US TO MAKE UP FOR ALL OF OUR SINS AND ALLOW US TO END UP TOGETHER IN ETERNITY.

CHRISTMAS IS THE GREAT CHRISTIAN HOLIDAY WHERE GOD SENT HIS ONLY SON-JESUS CHRIST-TO DIE FOR US TO MAKE UP FOR ALL OF OUR SINS AND ALLOW US TO END UP TOGETHER IN ETERNITY. It is a day of joy for Christians and those respectful of Christian beliefs and traditions. One can listen to the joyous and exuberant combination of Mario Lanza’s rendition of JOY TO THE WORLD and Andy William’s IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR to wonderfully and with great passion feel both the religious emphasis of Lanza and the secular emphasis of Williams. The contrast combined together includes both reverence for Jesus Christ and the symbols of Christmas that would include such things as Christmas Trees/ornaments, nativity scenes, Santa Claus, holly, wonderful meals, candy canes, and Christmas Cards. In this difficult pandemic, we are experiencing, many persons will have limited access to other persons. In such times, Christmas can be a time for personal reflection, spiritual/moral improvement, reliving memories of past Christmases, immersing self in beautiful Christmas/spiritual music and readings. For those feeling isolated, it is a time to make contact with internet and phone tools that allow positive and even loving contact that unfortunately does not include personal contact. For those of us who will be with loved ones on Christmas, let us feel blessed and make an effort to reach out to those who are alone. Christians reaching out to others alone at Christmas would be a gift of love well representative of the Christmas spirit at its zenith.

Dec 24, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, Vaccine, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss THE PFIZER VACCINE IS THE BEGINNING OF THE BEGINNING

12-15-2020 Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss THE PFIZER VACCINE IS THE BEGINNING OF THE BEGINNING In the horrible war of attrition, every American has been waging against the Pandemic. Even if there are many who may choose not to use the vaccine and others must wait for months to get it, this is a special time Americans can be proud of our scientists, political leaders, and corporations working together to come up with vaccines in remarkable time to stem the lethal tide of the Pandemic. For emphasis, that they have come so far so quickly is amazing That the Pfizer vaccine was manufactured in Michigan, will be distributed to all 50 states and some just flew out of Capitol Region International Airport is something very special and wonderful for those of us in Michigan. It also is very positive for all citizens of the world whose lives may be saved. As I said, it is the beginning of the beginning in the horrible war of attrition every American has been waging against the Pandemic.

Dec 24, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, holidays, iMovie, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr John & Dave Akerly discussion on DISCONTINUING THERAPY IF NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR THERAPIST OR THE DIRECTION OF THE THERAPY

Dr John & Dave Akerly discussion on DISCONTINUING THERAPY IF NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR THERAPIST OR THE DIRECTION OF THE THERAPY 12-08-2020 Over the decades of doing therapy I have been amazed how many persons continue in therapy even when they are not comfortable with the therapist,are not satisfied with the direction of the therapy or feel there is no progress. In such situations,it may be time to end therapy completely,alter the direction of the therapy or seek a new therapist who better meets your needs. Therapy is very personal and always remember therapists are human beings who have their own life history. When you have such feelings,have an honest talk with your therapist about your feelings. Do not assume you are the problem and resistant to therapy. You may not be the right combination in a relationship that requires a strong mutual connection of respect,acceptable interventions and desired outcomes. It also may be the case the therapeutic relationship has gone as far as it can go and needs to end. Whatever the reason,it is time to have an honest discussion with your therapist and discuss your future and what you will decide to do. It is your life.

Dec 7, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss KEYS TO SUCCESSFUL COMMUNICATION IN FAMILIES. 12-01-2020

One of the sad things in life is how poorly so many families get along. During this holiday period, even during this pandemic, fractures in family communication are becoming apparent as some combination of parents, children, grandchildren, and in-laws have grievances that hurt or even destroy communication. The following are keys to successful communication in families: 1.ELIMINATE SECRETS THAT LEAD TO POTENTIAL CONFLICT. 2.BE ACCEPTING OF DIFFERENT VIEWS, INCLUDING SPIRITUAL AND POLITICAL. 3.DO NOT PLAY FAVORITES. 4.SUPPORT AND RESPECT ALL MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY. 5.CHAMPION AND CONFIRM EACH OTHER. 6. DO NOT PRAISE GRANDSTANDING, POWER SEEKING, FINANCIAL AND/OR PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS AND COMPETITION. 7.PROTECTING EACH OTHER. 8.HONORING, HONING AND CREATING NEW FAMILY TRADITIONS THAT UNIFY AND ENHANCE FAMILY COMMUNICATION.

Nov 24, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, holidays, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly 1320 AM discuss- A SALUTE TO THANKSGIVINGS DAY

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly 1320 AM discuss- A SALUTE TO THANKSGIVINGS DAY 11-24-2020 Thanksgiving is the one day a year we all need to kick out all negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. In psychology,that is called COGNITIVE RESTRUCTURING. It is my favorite day because the vast majority of persons have positive non-judgmental feelings about it. That is unique in this age of rage and the ongoing pressures of the Pandemic. This is the time to think about positive things in the present as well as from the past. We can focus on good family memories,positive work experiences,enjoyable readings,enjoyable music,sporting victories,friendship magical moments,and events of spiritual and/or moral growth. The list can go on and on. The main thing is to give thanksgiving for what you have now and have had in the past in the form of memories. Those are things we can give super positive focus on this 2020 Thanksgiving Day! Go for them and get them! Happy Thanksgiving!

Nov 19, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly WHY GRATEFULNESS PRIOR TO THANKSGIVING IS IMPORTANT DURING THE PANDEMIC WITH EXPANDING RESTRICTIONS

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS 11-17-2020 WHY GRATEFULNESS PRIOR TO THANKSGIVING IS IMPORTANT DURING THE PANDEMIC WITH EXPANDING RESTRICTIONS As Michigan and other states have even been adding more restrictions prior to Thanksgiving,people already weary must adapt to new restrictions which will result in millions of persons not being with many loved ones and friends during this Thanksgiving period. Even worse,many persons will be alone from now until after Thanksgiving. This year,Thanksving,generally a time of happiness for the vast majority,will be a difficult time emotionally for most. With that said,even in this very difficult period,it is good for our own mental health to show gratefulness for what we have and help others having a hard time. The following are ways we can show gratefulness even in these difficult pandemic times: 1.Call persons from your past or even more recently who helped advance you in life and thank them. 2.Call persons to cheer them up when you know or believe they are not doing well. 3.For many,be grateful for the time to further develop your spirituality and individual relationship with your God. 4.With or without a sense of spirituality,this is a time to be grateful to evaluate and more strongly develop your moral code. 5.Be grateful for the time to contact friends and other persons for long interactions which you probably would not have had without the extra time.

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss OCD AND THE PANDEMIC 11-10-2020

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss OCD AND THE PANDEMIC 11-10-2020 The pandemic impacts all of us to one degree or another. Persons with OCD(OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER) can suffer very severe psychological dysfunction due to it. The characteristics of this psychological disorder are far above average unreasonable thoughts and fears(OBSESSIONS) that result in compulsive behaviors to help reduce the anxiety The condition can be severe in times of relative normality. Common types of OCD INCLUDE CONTAMINATION,HOARDING,INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS,CONSTANT CHECKING,INCESSANT HAND WASHING AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT WOULD SEEM ABSURD TO ANYONE ELSE. The anxiety can only be relieved by the compulsive behavior. Prognosis is not good and the person needs to always be on guard so as not to return to the compulsion and to add others. The following are some remedies to use during the pandemic: 1.KEEP IN CONTACT WITH PERSONS. 2.DO NOT SOCIAL ISOLATE. 3.PRACTICE SOCIAL DISTANCE 4.WASH HANDS REASONABLY,DO NOT TOUCH THE FACE AND WEAR MASKS. 5.DO NOT OBSESS OVER THINGS THE PERSON CANNOT CONTROL. 6.STAY IN CONTACT WITH THERAPIST OR SEEK ONE OUT IF NECESSARY. 7.TAKE CARE OF BASIC PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDS. 8.EXERCISE DAILY. 9.ELIMINATE NEWS,PEOPLE AND CIRCUMSTANCES THAT CAUSE ANXIETY. 10.MAINTAIN A CONSISTENT AND REASONABLE ROUTINE.

Nov 2, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, Self Help, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss THE GROWING EPIDEMIC OF SENIOR SUBSTANCE/ALCOHOL ABUSE

October 27, 2020 THE GROWING EPIDEMIC OF SENIOR SUBSTANCE/ALCOHOL ABUSE. Substance/alcohol abuse is a growing problem among seniors.(I am defining them as one in this podcast). There is an estimation that substance abuse among seniors will be 5.7 million in 2020. That is double the 2006 count. It has been called by some the “SILENT EPIDEMIC”. Common concerns of seniors would include the following: 1.RETIREMENT WITH LACK OF PURPOSE. 2.FINANCIAL PROBLEMS. 3.LOSS OF SPOUSE AND/OR LOVED ONES. 4.HEALTH PROBLEMS. 5.CHRONIC PAIN. 5.INSOMNIA. 6.LOW SELF-WORTH. 7.HISTORY OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE. 8.NOT ACKNOWLEDGING THE MAGNITUDE OF THE PROBLEM. 9.LONELINESS. 9LOSS OF SPIRITUALITY. These problem areas can lead seniors to abuse drugs and alcohol trying to reduce their physical and/or psychological pain. It also is true many seniors grew up in the sixties and still have inappropriate awareness of the dangers of substance abuse they are risking. Because seniors often are not working or do not have daily routines or day to day responsibilities,it is easy for caring family and friends to not notice or be aware of their symptoms of drug and alcohol abuse. Symptoms that can be confused with aging would include the following: 1.MEMORY LOSS. 2.SLURRED SPEECH. 3.MOBILITY PROBLEMS. 4.ANGER. 5.UNPREDICTABLE MOOD SWINGS. 6.DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY LEVELS. 7.POOR PHYSICAL HYGIENE. 8.LACK OF INTEREST IN USUALLY PLEASURABLE ACTIVITIES. 9.FALLING EPISODES. 10UNEXPLAINED BRUISES. 11.LACK OF CONTACT WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS….Sometimes it is necessary for family and/or friends to confront the person in an attempt to help end the abuse. The use of a trained therapist can be helpful…When the senior decides there is a problem and wants to overcome it,the following can be helpful: 1.FAMILY AND FRIENDS SUPPORT. 2.CLERGY. 3.APPROPRIATE MEDICATION. 4.SUPPORT GROUPS. 5.DETOXIFICATION THAT CAN INCLUDE INPATIENT TREATMENT. 6.OUTPATIENT SUBSTANCE ABUSE COUNSELING. 7.COUNSELING TO ADDRESS NON-SUBSTANCE AND ALCOHOL ABUSE RELATED PROBLEM AREAS.

Oct 19, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

BEHAVIORS OF HUMAN PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATORS

On 10-13-2020 Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss BEHAVIORS OF HUMAN PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATORS The caring and trusting human being is the perfect victim for the psychological manipulator. The manipulator has no sense of right or wrong and only wants to dominate and cause psychological havoc in the victim. The goal is to be on top and always right. They prey on human weakness and can through their negative human cunning lead persons to be confused on long-held beliefs. They even can convince persons to change on beliefs that are critical to good self-esteem and ethical living. Good human interaction on ideas and beliefs are critical for persons to change as their lives unfold…Typical behaviors of the psychological manipulator would include the following: 1.Guilt. 2.Find your weaknesses and use them against you. 3.Undermine your self-confidence by convincing you of how you are so flawed. 4.Convince you that you are always wrong. 5.Never offers respect and caring except to deviously use as manipulative psychological tactics. 6. Deceitfully talks negatively about you with your friends and associates to undermine your relationships. Amazingly, some human psychological predators are so effective they succeed at this. 7.They love the psychological havoc they cause and never stop until they no longer can be successful at it. When that happens, they look for the next victim…The best defense is developing good self-esteem and surrounding yourself with trusted friends and family who can help you not fall under what appears to be a psychological spell that sadly is cast over you. Priests, ministers and therapists can be helpful when friends and family are not available or the power over you does not allow you to regain psychological control over self. The road to recovery can be long and difficult.

Oct 1, 2020 braccioj Blog 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio discuss with Dave Akerly WHEN SILENCE IS GOLDEN.

SEPTEMBER 29, 2020

WHEN SILENCE IS GOLDEN. We live in an age of talkers whether it is IN-PERSON, TELEVISION, MEDIA, EMAILS, TWITTER,iPhones, FACEBOOK, FACETIME, MESSAGING, DUO, ZOOM, and on and on in an always changing endless stream. In such an age, there are many times that the metaphor of GOLDEN with SILENCE rings true. Included are times when active listening, good communication, understanding, sensitivity, tolerance, intelligence, and intuition lead us to realize when SILENCE IS GOLDEN. It is amazing how many people to their own detriment never learn this.

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Dr Braccio Discusses with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM STOP SELF-SABOTAGING YOURSELF- 9-22-20

STOP SELF-SABOTAGING YOURSELF Too many people let small setbacks in their daily lives result in the proverbial “thousand cuts” that will stop them from fulfilling their overall goals. The most common of these would include breaking a diet,having a cigarette,or not exercising because of a failure on a given day. People too often after a brief failure go back to the default behaviors that need to be eliminated. We must say as the British have said- “rubbish”-and go back to our original plan. These small self-sabotaging setbacks too often are representative of the person’s overall behaviors and carry over to bigger life goals. These include education,spirituality/moral development,relationship building, career advancement training and behaviors,happiness seeking, and other life altering activities because of a setback that discourages them from going forward and self-sabotages their dreams and goals. Even in the midst of difficulties and seemingly extremely difficult challenges, we must keep our eye on the ball and not self-sabotage our future. Those who persevere in life need not be the smartest but they clearly work the hardest to achieve their dreams and goals and do not let defeats stop them. Rather than self-sabotaging,we must see a temporary defeat not as final but something to learn from and not do again. Life can be a very exciting experience if we look upon daily activities and challenges as exciting new tasks to successfully accomplish. To not do this can lead to an unhappy life because of self-sabotaging behaviors and always wondering what could have happened in their lives if they had consistently pursued their dreams and goals.

Sep 18, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio Discusses with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM DEVELOPING RESILIENCE DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 9-15-20

DEVELOPING RESILIENCE DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC. More and more people are reporting anxiety, depression, even suicide, substance abuse, family conflicts, work-related problems, and obsessive-compulsive behavior resulting as the devastation of the Covid-19 pandemic extends over more and more time. It is critical during this ongoing crisis to not let it wear down your resiliency like a battery gradually going dead. This is when people develop what can often be severe mental health conditions as well as substance abuse. What persons need to do is get enough sleep, be hydrated, exercise, focus on what is positive in their lives, further develop spiritual and/or moral purpose in their lives, finding a new normal and enjoyment in it, seek out professional help as needed, think positively and kick out negative thoughts, continue social interactions with friends and family, be tolerant in the home and in other social settings, develop more in-home hobbies and/or educational options, and recognize the pandemic will end and you want to come out of it as mentally and physically healthy as possible. It will occur if you follow some of these suggestions as well as others you find to specifically be helpful for you.

Sep 11, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss INTIMATE COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGES REQUIRES A WILLINGNESS TO BE VULNERABLE TO POSSIBLE BETRAYAL AND/OR INDIFFERENCE

INTIMATE COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGES REQUIRES A WILLINGNESS TO BE VULNERABLE TO POSSIBLE BETRAYAL AND/OR INDIFFERENCE Fear of betrayal and/or indifference are mayor reasons people choose not to share deep feelings about themselves. They may have never learned how to trust or when they did people used the information as a tool to hurt them,including telling other people their deepest secrets that were only to be shared with that person. In a marriage,particularly during the time of the pandemic when couples and families are often in a lockdown mode for large periods of time,this can be a time to try to rekindle old feelings and share deep inner thoughts. Often,the couple has simply stopped sharing deep feelings due to the routine of everyday life taking over. If so,go back to the beginning and start anew. With couples or individual spouses who have never shared but have working marriages,take the risk and begin sharing deep feelings. It can be scary and difficult,but the emotional rewards can be overwhelmingly positive as the marriage accelerates into a merging of two person’s feelings into one. Someone needs to take the risk to begin. Why not you? Taking into account the wondrous possibilities for personal growth and love enhancement,why not start the process today? It may be awkward to begin,but the bountiful possible rewards to the marriage make it all very worthwhile. As the old Pepsi add proclaimed: GO FOR THE GUSTO!

Sep 1, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly on 1320 AM discuss REASONS SPOUSES SABOTAGE THE DREAMS AND GOALS OF EACH OTHER.

It is unfortunate how often spouses, even those who genuinely love each other, sabotage the dreams and goals of each other. Reasons would include the following: Wanting more control. Competition. Lack of security. Control over family finances. Wants more attention. Lack of trust. Dislike of roles and a desire to change them. Jealousy. Differing views on lifestyle. Anger. Inability to effectively problem solve. Getting even for perceived unfairness or disliked behavior. Deviousness. Dishonesty. Parenting differences. Strong disagreements on who controls specific aspects of the marriage. Disagreements on responsibilities. Friendships. Spirituality or lack thereof…The ability for spouses to be able to discuss these and other problem areas and eliminate them through a combination of honest soul searching, active listening, non-judgmental interaction, and genuine compromise in problem-solving mode is critical to success.

Aug 25, 2020 braccioj Blog 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly Discuss NOT ALLOWING PILES OF STONES TO STOP YOU FROM CLIMBING THE MOUNTAINS OF YOUR DREAMS 8-25-20

Life is made up of opportunities and obstacles. With the right mindset,this combination can make life exhilarating or very stressful and unfulfilling. We need to see obstacles as opportunities for resolution rather than insolvable problems that stop us from moving forward to meet our dreams. Do not realize as your life is marching on that your lack of fulfillment as a human being is because you have always taken the easy way out and never have realized your dreams which were within reach with the right attitude and dedication. If this is true with you,do not focus on lost opportunities. They are gone. You must now bring forth new dreams and chase them with resolute commitment and effort. Highly happy and successful people regularly state they loved the road travelled to achieve their dreams as much as the dreams themselves. Dreams vary with the person. They can range from being a business tycoon or major political figure to completing a certificate of achievement for self-fulfillment.

Aug 20, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio speaks with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM on HUGE DEPRESSION INCREASE CAUSED BY THE PANDEMIC

Dr John & Dave Akerly 8-18-20 HUGE DEPRESSION INCREASE CAUSED BY THE PANDEMIC One need not be a psychologist to see the emotional havoc caused by the pandemic in so many people we interact. The most current and immediate crisis aspect of the pandemic is how to educate our children at all levels ranging from pre-school to the university. Recent information from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention(CDC) is almost shocking even while seeing daily the fears so many Americans have as well as those around the world. The rates of symptoms for Depression have increased 400 percent from a year ago in responses to a survey. Not far behind is Anxiety with a 300 percent increase. In addition to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy(CBT) and appropriate medication,the following are some strategies to use to overcome Depression. 1.Notice the heroes who work every day to make our lives livable. 2.Think positive scenarios to stories/fantasies/thoughts that come to our mind. Be a positive storyteller to ourselves. 3.Reach out physically—safely —,visually or by phone to get human contact. We are social animals and need this. 4.Find ways to help others and not focus on self. Depression makes it hard to focus on anything outside of one’s own suffering. 5.Look for things to enjoy in the moment to overcome negative thoughts and feelings. 6.Get up and do something physically! Just taking a walk can be most helpful. Depression often leads to inactivity which is breeding ground for the negative symptoms of Depression that can overwhelm a person. 7.Develop psychologically supportive spirituality consistent with your beliefs.

Aug 12, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, advice, Anxiety, being a better person, braccio, Depression, fully licensed psychologist, how to be successful, iMovie, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, narcisisst, narcisisst parent, narcissism, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, worry, worrying

THE POSITIVE OUTCOMES OF SAYING “NO”

As we have discussed in the past,persons who agree to do too much and cannot say “NO” to requests can be overwhelmed by them. Sadly,the statement—ASK A BUSY PERSON TO SOMETHING IF YOU WANT TO GET SOMETHING DONE—may be true,but the effects on the person can be devastating from a mental and physical health perspective as well as not allowing the person to meet their own priorities and needs. Saying “NO” is critical for a person to be able to appropriately care for self,family/children/spouse/parents,and other persons and activities the person chooses. The biblical statement whether implemented from a spiritual or secular humanist view is appropriate for the person who has problems saying “NO” to various persons wanting help-LOVE THE NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF.

Aug 5, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, advice, Anxiety, being a better person, braccio, Depression, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, narcisisst, narcisisst parent, narcissism, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, worry, worrying

WHY PAINFUL CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES/PUTDOWNS TOO OFTEN ARE RELIVED IN VARIOUS FORMS THROUGHOUT OUR LIVES

Inappropriate and unfair treatment in our youth can ingrain negative thoughts primarily about ourselves but also about others and anything else we experience in life. A parent or prominent authority person who demeans us and calls us names such as STUPID,IGNORANT,DUMMY,CLUELESS,IMBECIL,BASTARD,VILE,FILTHY,SHAMELESS/SHAMEFUL,HOPELESS,SELFISH,EVIL,GODLESS,FEARFUL,HEARTLESS,UNCARING,UGLY,ETC. in a never ending stream can impact us emotionally the rest of our lives. Even if not consciously,these negative views of ourselves can be ingrained and believed. When this occurs,poor self-esteem results in poor/failed marriages/relationships,underachieving work/academic performance,and overall unhappiness in life. It is critical to one’s self-image,happiness and overall success in life to not allow demeaning and destructive tapes from the past done by evil persons to still control our thoughts and actions. Begin to happily live your life with positive thoughts and actively shed your mind of old negative tapes. You will give credence to your own thoughts and define who you are. Go for it now!

Jul 28, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, advice, Anxiety, being a better person, braccio, dealing with a narcism, dealing with a narcissist parent, Depression, fully licensed psychologist, how to be succesful, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, worry, worrying

BEWARE OF THE OFTEN CHARMING BUT PSYCHOLOGICALLY DANGEROUS HISTRIONIC NARCISSIST

Narcissists are persons who think of themselves as superior to others and demand attention,absolute commitment,adulation and constant praise. They believe the sun comes up in the morning so they may have light and goes down at night so they can better sleep. They lack empathy for others and have problems in maintaining meaningful relationships. They can be charming,dynamic,charismatic and the life of any party. They can manipulate good people to do their bidding and quite often psychologically overwhelm otherwise good persons into loving them. They then take advantage of them because of their love and commitment to them. When you add the histrionic element to the personality of the narcissist,constant drama becomes central to the relationship. Such persons are often called DRAMA QUEENS AND KINGS. When one understands the Histrionic Narcissist,the personality flaws and behaviors are self-evident. What also is amazingly evident is how good persons have relationships with them. The veritable emotional avalanche of charisma and charm directed at the desired conquest can overwhelm the common senses of the wisest of human beings. Because the Histrionic Narcissist has no conscience and acts only on the weaknesses and desires of the victim,their success is somewhat reasonable taking into account how powerful is the desire so many humans have for love and understanding from another human being. Belore long,the mask comes off and the histrionics begin. Potential victims need to run away immediately after recognition of who they are dealing with and long before the Histrionic Narcissistic can begin the psychological devastation they so effectively cause. This is easier said than done.

Jul 23, 2020 braccioj Blog 1320 am, advice, Anxiety, being a better person, braccio, Depression, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, worry, worrying

GO WITH THOSE WHO KNOW MORE THAN YOU DO

Dr Braccio speaks with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM — GO WITH THOSE WHO KNOW MORE THAN YOU DO—is good advice from parents to their children to help them advance personally and professionally in their lives. This was a constant statement of how to advance in life from my father. He believed persons learned and advanced in life if they surrounded themselves with persons who were working hard with the same goals. I have found him to be very wise with his belief. In my opinion,it is a timeless statement for young and old persons alike to be successful and productive persons for themselves,their families,their friends and all persons they interact. An equally wise counter statement of my father was—GO WITH BUMS IF YOU WANT TO BE ONE. A good rule for parenting is to to guide our children with who they choose as friends. If this is done wisely when they are young,the chances are far better they will make better choices when teenagers and adults. It continues to surprise me how often teenagers in problematic relationships come from homes where parents were not sufficiently involved in their friendship choices when younger. It is wise to have children involved in activities in churches,sports,school musical groups,Scouts,4 H,and many other organizations where discipline,teamwork and positive moral/spiritual beliefs are fostered and developed

Jul 7, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr John & Dave Akerly 7-7-20 THE PSYCHOLOGICAL DEVASTATION OF PARENTAL ALIENATION ON CHILDREN

A study from some years ago says 11-15% of divorces result in some form of parental alienation. Even if the numbers are smaller,anyone who has seen the severe psychological damage done to children when they experience parental alienation and/or when they are adults,the damage is clear. It is severe child abuse. Children want to love and be loved by both parents. It is confusing and psychologically damaging to the child when taught to hate a good parent while constantly hearing everything bad about him or her. This hatred can be extended to all friends and family members of the alienated parent. Such alienation can lead to self-contempt for being the child of someone so horrible. Depression,low self-esteem,anxiety,PTSD,future alienation from their own children,poor relationships,divorces,substance abuse/alcoholism,abandonment issues,unable to trust,unable to love,guilt-ridden,weak personal boundaries and long term inappropriate personal hated for a parent who may have been a loving parent…This is not a pretty picture. I have seen a lot of horrible parental alienation behavior to know all of us need to do whatever we can to not allow it to happen. The psychological devastation to the alienated children can carry on for generations with poor interactions with their children and partner relationships. School personnel,family members,judges,friends of the court,clergy,therapists and friends of the alienating parent can all try to help stop the alienating process. It is very difficult but we all can try with hopefully some success.

Jun 30, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

HOW TO DEVELOP A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF WHEN ALL YOU FIND ARE NEGATIVES

6-30-20 Dr John Braccio and Dave Akerly on 1320 AM WILS discuss HOW TO DEVELOP A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF WHEN ALL YOU FIND ARE NEGATIVES

When thinking of building stronger relationships, we usually think of them pertaining to couples or maybe friendships, families, working persons, or groups of one type or another. That eliminates the arguably most important relationship one has: The one with yourself. The following are some suggestions that can be helpful: 1. STOP SHAMING YOURSELF WITH SENSELESS NEGATIVITY. 2. NOONE HAS DIED COMPLAINING THEY WERE TOO HAPPY AND POSITIVE IN LIFE. JOIN THIS GROUP FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 3. STOP SELF-DESTRUCTIVE VIRTUE SIGNALING AND SELF-ABSORBED HATRED OF SELF THAT ONLY DESTROYS YOUR LIFE AND WILL PUSH POSITIVE AND HAPPY PEOPLE AWAY FROM YOU. 4. BE OPEN TO OPPORTUNITIES YOU HAVE AND BUILD ON THEM. 5. SEEK OUT OPPORTUNITIES AND DO NOT THROW THEM AWAY DUE TO SELF DEPREDATION OF ABILITY AND ABILITY. 6. DEDICATE PERIODS OF TIME IN DAYS TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF EVEN IN THE FACE OF FIERCE OPPOSITION FROM YOUR INNER CRITIC. 7. TREAT YOURSELF TO THE KINDNESS AND ACCEPTANCE YOU GIVE TO OTHERS IN SPITE OF THE HUMAN FLAWS THEY HAVE AS DO ALL HUMAN BEINGS. 8. RECOGNIZE HUMAN HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE YOU AND ONLY YOU CAN MAKE FOR YOURSELF. 9. SEEK PURPOSE IN YOUR LIFE THROUGH A RELIGIOUS OR SECULAR HUMANISTIC PERSPECTIVE

Jun 23, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY STABLE AND HAPPY IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE

In our segments on marriage we have discussed various aspects of marriage. Today we discuss how a spouse lives emotionally stable and happy in a marriage they have decided to stay in for whatever the reason when love is gone. The following techniques can be used to reach this end: 1.DO NOT ALLOW THE LACK OF LOVE IN THE MARRIAGE TO DEFINE YOU. 2.DETACH YOURSELF EMOTIONALLY FROM YOUR SPOUSE. 3.QUIT TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR SPOUSE. 4.FIND SATISFACTION IN PERSONAL ENHANCEMENT,GROUP ACTIVITIES,AND FRIENDSHIPS. 5.LET ANGER,DISILLUSIONMENT,SELF-CRITICISM,HURT,HATE AND EVEN RAGE BE REPLACED WITH THE PEACE THAT COMES FROM ACCEPTING A NEW ROAD AND OPPORTUNITIES IN LIFE. 6.DROP UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS FOR YOURSELF. 7.QUIT FAULTFINDING…The goal is to live as emotionally stable and happy as one can as one lives in a marriage without love. Spiritual and professional support can be very helpful.

Jun 17, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, being a better person, braccio, Depression, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, Self Help, worry, worrying

HOW TO STOP THE “WHAT-IFFING WORRYING SYNDROME” FROM BEING A LIFE WRECKER

To worry is the desire to control something to avoid an undesired outcome. Your anxiety will go up in relation to the amount of your waking hours you are “what-iffing”. The pattern is unfortunately a wheel of never ending anxiety with the following sequence of trying to control something, worrying about it, not able to control it, feeling highly anxious, often losing self-esteem with feelings of lack of control,and then starting on a new worry cycle that leaves never ending emotional wreckage in its wake.
Anxiety that enhances low self-esteem can overwhelm you emotionally when “what-iffing” about things you cannot control. These would include such things as the economy, climate change, nuclear arms/war,the weather,world famine, the behavior of others,etc. in an endless list that can grow daily. Unfortunately,outcomes for persons afflicted with the “what-iffing anxiety syndrome” are low self-esteem because they have no control over so many things they worry about. They then see themselves as inadequate persons or even bad and flawed human beings. They often try to micromanage themselves and unfortunate persons they interact with as their “what-iffing anxiety syndrome” overwhelms them emotionally.
Strategies to overcome the “what-iffing anxiety syndrome” would include clear recognition of what you can and cannot control. The person must focus emotional and intellectual energies on distinguishing between them. Do not wear other people down emotionally who care for you with your trying to micromanage them. Do not micromanage yourself with unreasonable worries. Make better choices on what you are going to worry about. With resulting better decision making, you can be happy with far less negative and worrisome thoughts in your head. A further positive and effective strategy is to set aside 10 to 20 minutes a day for worrying. When you begin to worry at other times of the day, you need to stop it and remind yourself your worrying time begins at a later time. None of these strategies are easy to do but are important for a person to overcome the horrible psychological damage caused by the “what-ifing anxiety syndrome”. A quote from the serenity prayer gives great wisdom to persons suffering from the “what-iffing anxiety syndrome”. It goes as follows: GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN,AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

Jun 11, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts braccio, ceu, golden rule, good person, psychology, Self Help

ELEMENTS OF A GOOD PERSON

Dr John Braccio & Dave Akerly 6-9-20 In the world where too many bad persons think they are good persons and too many good persons believe they are not,it seems worthwhile to come up with a definition of who are the good persons. I do this humbly since persons such as Aristotle and Jesus Christ have eloquently done so. My simple definition would have the following elements: 1.Strive to be fair to others. 2.Strive to be kind to themselves. 3.Strive to have the courage to stand up for what they believe. 4.Strive to control their passions. 5.Strive to be honest in their interactions. 6.Strive to give and accept complements 7.Strive to be reasonable in their expectations for themselves and others…As you can see, my definition is basic but one so many good persons have trouble finding in themselves. On the other hand,I have found persons who are selfish and do not genuinely care for others who amazingly come to the conclusion they are good persons. In the end as I have thought about it,maybe the best definition of good persons are those who strive to follow the “Golden Rule”: DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO Y

Jun 3, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, dave akerly, george floyd, john braccio, police brutality, wils

Dr. John Braccio speaks Dave Akerly of 1320 AM on WE CANNOT ALLOW EVIL ANARCHISTS TO DISTRACT FROM THE NATION’S COLLECTIVE PAIN AND GRIEF BECAUSE OF THE BRUTAL DEATH OF GEORGE FLOYD

At a time all Americans are unified in wanting justice in the case of George Floyd,there are those who destroy businesses and other buildings in communities because they are organized anarchists who only want to destroy our society. These are far more dangerous than the disgusting looters and destroyers of property who sadly appear in any crisis. We need to make sure we do not allow anarchists,regardless of whether society defines them as far right or far left,to incite others to riot as well as their planned destabilization practices to have the general population break into warring camps rather than focusing on peaceful demonstrations against the brutal death of George Floyd. I might add I am not justifying illegal and destructive behavior by anyone, but rather focusing on anarchists who thrive in times of confusion and rage. I believe the following quote from the New York Times well states the problem: IN NEW YORK CITY, A SENIOR OFFICIAL SAID ANARCHISTS HAD PLANNED TO START MAYHEM IN THE CITY EVEN BEFORE THE PROTESTS STARTED, USING ENCRYPTED COMMUNICATION TO RAISE BAIL AND TO RECRUIT MEDICS. DURING THE DEMONSTRATIONS THEY MAINTAINED SUPPLY LINES TO DISTRIBUTE GASOLINE, ROCKS, AND BOTTLES, AND ALSO DISPATCHED SCOUTS TO FIND AREAS DEVOID OF POLICE OFFICERS, SAID JOHN MITLER, THE DEPUTY COMMISSIONER IN CHARGE OF THE POLICE DEPARTMENT’S COUNTER-TERRORISM AND INTELLIGENCE EFFORTS.”

May 26, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts affairs, couples counseling, family support, marriage counseling, relationships

WHY SPOUSES STAY IN UNSATISFYING AND UNHAPPY MARRIAGES

Among the happiest of days for most persons is when they get married. Unfortunately,a number of marriages/relationships that were once filled with deep love and caring turn into extreme bitterness or unhappiness. Many of these failing marriages are not the result of an extramarital affair,physical abuse or child abuse. No,they are the result of long term ongoing problems. While they can vary from marriage to marriage,at least some of the following have a dominant force in the failing marriage: 1.LACK OF RESPECT. 2.LACK OF APPRECIATION. 3.NO SEXUALITY AND PHYSICAL INTIMACY. 4.ALWAYS ANNOYED AT THE SPOUSE/PARTNER. 5.CONSTANT ARGUING,BICKERING AND FAULTFINDING. 6.RELATIONSHIP IS TOXIC TO THE EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING. 7.INTIMIDATION AND FEAR. 8.RELIGIOUS BELIEFS OPPOSED TO DIVORCE. MARRIAGE IS SEEN AS A SACRED BOND/VOW BEFORE GOD. 9.DIFFERING RELIGIOUS VIEWS. 10.FUTURE GOALS HAVE CHANGED AND ARE NOT COMPATIBLE FOR THE FUTURE OF THE MARRIAGE. 11.FEAR OF WHAT COULD HAPPEN AFTER A DIVORCE. 12.FINANCIAL CONCERNS. 13.IMPACT ON CHILDREN,CHILDREN CUSTODY CONCERNS AND OVERALL FAMILY RELATIONS. 14.CONTEMPT AND HATRED FOR THE PERSON. 15.DOES NOT FEEL CONNECTED TO THE PERSON. 16.TOGETHER BECAUSE OF HABIT WITHOUT LOVE OTHER THAN CARING FOR THE PERSON. 17.SUBSTANCE ABUSE. 18.HOW TO MANAGE MONEY RANGING FROM WHAT TO SPEND IT ON TO FIGHTING OVER WHAT MONEY BELONGS TO EACH. 19.CHILD REARING PRACTICES. 20.FATIGUE/BOREDOM/HABIT/ROUTINE/NEGLECT. 21.FEELINGS OF GUILT AND SHAME IF THE MARRIAGE FAILS. I have found it amazing over the decades in my work how many unhappy spouses in marriages/relationships have trouble determining what the problems are and how to solve them. They just live in the marriages/relationships and do not determine if/how they can be saved or how to end them. Of course,I always hope marriages can be saved with respectful love reunited in both persons. This can only occur when both persons work very hard to go back to why they fell in love and want to bring it back. Sadly,this is too often not possible. The feelings are too deep.

May 20, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts asking for help, Self Help

WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR MANY PEOPLE TO ASK FOR HELP IN DIFFICULT TIMES.

Persons can feel the problems they have belong alone to them. It is an offshoot of the ALL-SUFFICIENT PERSON, who in reality is a myth. We all need mentors and persons who help us along the road of life. The following is a list of reasons persons will not ask others for help: 1. THE ALL-SUFFICIENT PERSON OF MYTH. 2. I DO NOT WANT TO BOTHER OR BE A BURDEN TO ANYONE. 3. I GOT ME INTO THIS PROBLEM AND NEED TO WORK IT OUT MYSELF. 4. NO ONE WOULD LIKE TO HELF ME. 5.I HAVE ALWAYS HELPED OTHERS AND I WOULD NOT WANT TO SHOW WEAKNESS. 6. PEOPLE WILL SEE MY WEAKNESS AND USE IT TO HUMILIATE ME. 7. I WOULD HATE TO ADMIT PERSONAL FLAWS. 8. I DO NOT WANT TO BE JUDGED NEGATIVELY. 9. FALSE PRIDE. 10. FEAR OF REJECTION. 11. I BELIEVE THE PROBLEM IS TOO BIG FOR SOMEONE TO OFFER HELP. 12.DEPRESSION WHICH CLOUDS ANY POSSIBILITY OF SOMEONE BEING ABLE TO HELP ME. 13. FEAR OF GIVING UP CONTROL OF SOMETHING I CANNOT CONTROL…As a whole, these are all self-defeating beliefs. We all need help at times in our lives and need to accept this. The GOLDEN RULE-DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEN DO UNTO YOU-works both ways. Give people the opportunity to be helpful. It can help both of you.

May 13, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Failing Marriage, infidelity, Marriage, relationships, successful marriage

HOW THE BETRAYED SPOUSE CAN FORGIVE EXTRAMARITAL BETRAYAL AND SAVE THE MARRIAGE

This is the third podcast on extramarital affairs. The first podcast was on reasons why partners have affairs and the second was on what the betraying spouse must do to try to save the marriage and love of the spouse. This segment is what the betrayed spouse needs to do to determine to stay in the marriage. As a starting point, the betraying spouse must show total remorse, total honesty, and a full commitment to the spouse and the marriage. If you determine to make an honest attempt to save the marriage, the following are representative of what must occur: 1. Obtain all the facts you need from your partner. No question is out of bounds. As painful as this is, it is a critical aspect of your healing and ability to move forward. 2. Ongoing discussion about your feelings and what the affair did to you. Use the “I feel” statements rather than the accusatory “You made me feel” statements. 3. Engage in “active listening” where the spouse lets the other get all feelings out in the open with the other spouse quietly listening to fully understand and not respond or challenge the conclusions or statements. This is very hard to do. The offending spouse will need to develop this skill or there will be many heated interactions. You will also need to be able to use active listening to fully understand the betraying spouse. 4.A need for open discussion about the affair to get everything out over an extended period of time. 5. Try to limit the amount of time talking about the affair on a daily basis. Both spouses need conversation and activities separate from the affair. This will be strongly determined by you. 6. Expect many soul searching moments where the emotional pain can return in extreme amounts and you question if you could ever love or trust your spouse again. 7. If both spouses really want the relationship to work and the period of time needed by you to move forward is used by both to save the marriage, then it can occur. Be aware the process will predictably be long and hard on both spouses. The emotional mountains to climb to move forward and understand why and how the extramarital occurred are very difficult to climb but must be done. 8. The amount of time needed to fully commit to saving the marriage varies with the betrayed spouse and can only be determined by that person…I am a positive person. I have worked with many betrayed spouses over the decades who have overcome the horrible betrayal of a spouse and have gone back to loving and successful marriages. Both spouses need to work in overdrive to have this occur. There also is the need during this whole soul-searching time to look at problems that existed prior to the extramarital affair and make sure by both persons that they never occur again and are rooted out in the whole reconciliation process.

May 6, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts cheating, infidelity, relationships, trust

WHAT A SPOUSE MUST DO WHO HAS HAD AN EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR TO TRY TO SAVE THE MARRIAGE.

Due to the immense pain experienced by the spouse who has been forced to recognize their spouse has been unfaithful,it is not surprising it is so difficult for the love and trust to be rekindled. I again want to emphasize how difficult it is for both persons to effectively overcome the betrayal. The following are some suggested actions that predictably are needed to be implemented by the betraying spouse to ever hope to be able to return to a loving relationship: 1.Absolute termination of the affair with proof presented as needed. 2.Genuine remorse. 3.Honesty. Answer all questions over and over again as necessary. 4.Patience, patience and even more patience. It will take a long time and you must expect much anger and hurt directed to you. 5. Take responsibility. You did it! 6. Control your anger. You caused the problems you are having and must deal with the consequences. 7. Become an active listener to try to fully understand the emotional hurt and pain you have caused…These are very difficult things for an individual to do and sadly the result is often failure or both spouses living in a very unhappy or mediocre marriage. You absolutely do not want either of those results. The above suggested actions are necessary if you desire to return to a loving and caring relationship. For emphasis, the damage is sadly often such that the marriage cannot be saved. It also is true that even in relationships that are saved, the passion, understanding, intimacy, loving, and general happiness are often never again fully achieved. With that said, you can be successful in rekindling your relationship if both spouses desire a loving marriage to continue and total honesty and sincere remorse are fully demonstrated to the betrayed spouse.

Mar 3, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts bullying, control, dealing with difficult people, sibling rivalry

HOW TO OVERCOME SIBLING RIVALRY AND CONFLICTS GROWING UP THAT EXTEND INTO ADULTHOOD.

We all remember sibling issues in our homes or in those of relatives or friends. That they extend into adulthood and often for life is actually quite common. That often neither person has a desire to rectify the problem is unfortunate. A relatively large number of my clients and even friends report significant sibling issues. Common issues are as follows: 1.Control. 2.Bullying verbally and/or physically. 3.Sibling(s) unwilling to relinquish old roles. 4.Preferred or favored. 5.Manipulative. 6.Liar. 7.Brat. 8.Financial and/or inheritance…Ways a sibling can try to overcome these problem areas on the possible road to a good sibling relationship would include the following: 1.Reach out and start a positive dialogue. 2.Apologize for whatever your sibling believes you have done. You can do this even if you do not fully believe you are in the wrong. 3.Accept differences. 4.Focus on similarities and common ground. 5.Reminisce on mutually positive memories. 6.Build new memories for hopefully a positive sibling relationship for the rest of your lives…Be aware your attempt to repair a damaged sibling relationship may not be successful. If you feel the reward of a positive sibling relationship is worth it,then give it a try.

Mar 3, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts finding joy, Happiness

WAYS TO GET MORE JOY OUT OF EVERYDAY SEEMINGLY COMMON EVENTS IN YOUR LIFE

An unfortunate aspect of everyday life is that too many of us do not get joy out of many seemingly common events that make it up. We just pass them by and do not enjoy them. The following are some things to do to get more joy out of your day in small segments: 1.SLOW DOWN AND SMELL THE COFFEE is a good explanation of enjoying life and not rushing through it. 2.To stop for a moment more to smell the coffee or the fragrance of a rose are better examples of our topic today.3.It is the relishing and extending positive things you encounter and not just pass over them. 4.Add some seconds or more of joy to small segments of each day. 5.At a thinking level,relish positive thoughts that come into your mind for more than a brief second. 6.On negative thoughts,kick them out as soon as you can. 7.A further positive thing to do is replace a negative thought with a positive one and enjoy it…The overall goal is to add joy to our lives daily as we relish positive things and thoughts in our everyday lives and spend little time on negative ones.

Mar 3, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts fear, fear of being alone, fear of change, fear of failure

FEARS THAT STOP PEOPLE FROM FULFILLING THEIR GOALS AND DREAMS

Fears that stop people from fulfilling their goals and dreams would include the following: 1.Feelings of inadequacy. 2.Fear of change. 3.Fear of failure. 4.Indecisiveness. 5.”The Imposter Phenomenon”. 6.Fear of uncertainty. 7.Fear of rejection. 8.Fear of being lonely. 9.Fear of never being prepared leads to no upward movement in life…A key to success in life in not letting fears overtake us emotionally and not allow us to fulfill our goals and dreams. We can never get back a day we have wasted. CARPE DIEM—SEIZE THE DAY!