Self Help Blog - Page 3 of 38 - Regional Psychological Services

Dec 27, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss MAKE 2024 AN EXCITING VOYAGE

Christmas 2023-

MAKE 2024 AN EXCITING VOYAGE

Over the years, I have often talked about New Year’s resolutions, and how important they can be if persons try to follow them. I still believe that is true. However, this year I think a good way to look upon 2024 is as an exciting voyage where we can do things we have not done and would make our life more fulfilling. Most people get into a routine in life, and even if they do not like it, they tend to stick with it and even cling to it out of habit. That is good at the level that it can lead to predictability and success in one’s relationships with people, and in work related endeavors. The problem is that life is a one time event and it is important to try to make life an exciting voyage. Things that I would think would be included in this exciting life voyage would include the following: 1. Seeking out a partner to share a life with if this has not occurred for reasons varying from problems in previous relationships to feeling you will not be successful in one or fear you might be taken advantage of or be hurt. Regardless of the reason, now is the time to examine why you feel this way and try to make changes that would make a successful relationship occur. 2. Do a true analysis of your job and see if it really is what you want to do. Many people stay in jobs simply because they have them and have a fear of voyaging into something new. I think this is a mistake because too many people I know are in this situation. Others after retirement wish they had tried other things in their work lives. Work is an important part of a life and has much to do with a person’s self-esteem and how they interact with other persons and even who they interact with. 3. Take a look at what you know and what you would like to know. This seems like a simple thing, but too many persons just accept what they know and do not voyage into areas of knowledge that might make their lives and themselves more interesting and meaningful. 4. Seek out groups on the Internet or in person you might find interesting and could clearly make your voyage of life more interesting and exciting. It could include service clubs, church clubs,hobby clubs, reading groups, community organizations or groups of any type. 5.Seek out reasonable persons with different views to interact with to expand your views on life and the components that make it up. 6.Travel to expand your outlook on other physical settings and interactions with persons with different life experiences…These are simply some examples that could be helpful for making your life a more happy and exciting voyage in the year 2024. While these are somewhat related to New Year’s resolutions, they are actually broader and offer more potential fulfillment to your overall life. As the new year approaches, I suggest you take a look at the things you could do to really make for a happy and exciting life voyage in 2024. GO FOR IT!

Dec 22, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, Christmas, christmas movies, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, drug abuse, family and holidays, Love, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss how CHRISTMAS CAN BE A TIME OF JOY FOR ALL PERSONS

Christmas 2023 Christmas is a time of joy for Christians as it is a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Christians believe he was sent to earth to die for their sins so they can have a life of eternity with him and persons they loved and cared for on earth. Whether a person is a Christian or not, and there are over 2 billion Christians in the world, Christ was a person who came to show love and empathy for all persons. I can love and respect Mahatma Gandhi, who was a Hindu, for what he represented without being a Hindu. Who can really argue against one of Christ’s great commandments of the New Testament, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”? Who can really argue with his statement that only a person without sin should cast the “first stone” of criticism of others. Whether he was God or not, he was clearly a man of peace and love. A year ago I was talking about movies such as the Hallmark movies and how they can be so enjoyable during the Christmas season. I still believe Christmas themed movies and novels that present persons falling in love and showing great human kindness are enjoyed by countless millions of persons. The Christmas Carol ,written by Charles Dickens in1843, is a perennial classic as we see Ebenezar Scrooge go from being a pitiless lover of money and hater of Christmas to becoming a good Christian trying to help Tiny Tim and his family have a wonderful Christmas. It is true Christmas can be very stressful for a large percentage of persons and that can distract from the joy of Christmas. A study by the American Psychological Association showed 38% of persons had stress during the holidays. Hopefully, you can reduce this by focusing less on gifts and more on demonstrating love and compassion for ourselves, family, friends, and others we encounter during this period of Christmas. Our goal is to try to better develop our sense of love and peace by emulating the thoughts and behaviors of the Prince of Peace and Love, Jesus Christ. The emphasis on Christmas is not gifts but love with emphasis on communication with family and friends who are in the spirit of Christmas and reflect love, caring, and sharing positive feelings. Let us all enjoy the joy of Christmas in 2023 and remember the billions of persons who live and have lived trying to emulate the loving and caring ways of Jesus Christ over the centuries. It is Jesus and what he represents we are celebrating this Christmas, regardless of our spiritual beliefs.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss SURVIVING THE DEATH OF A BELOVED SPOUSE

December 12, 2023- There are few things in life more devastating psychologically and leading to ongoing and even long-term trauma than the death of a beloved spouse. Over time,the two persons in many ways become one.When persons marry for life, they are thinking about all the years they hope to spend together sharing loving experiences. They may also have dreams of having children and a wonderful family life. There is an intense feeling of happiness and an eagerness for the future. There are no thoughts of a plan for the death of the loving spouse. When this occurs, it is a totally shattering experience. While caring friends, family members and professionals can be helpful, there is no clear road for the person to navigate emotionally. And for sure, the emotional road will be one with great emotional pain and suffering. Additionally, there can be physical problems resulting from the constant emotional stress on the person’s body. When one does lose a loving spouse, it is critical the surviving spouse not feel a need to immediately address all the concerns that may be coming to the mind. The exception would be financial concerns that must be addressed.The important thing is to recognize that grieving is a very personal experience and there is no one right way to overcome it. Even though there is a need for family and friends to be supportive and helpful, it is a very lonely journey only that person can experience. Important things to do when trying to survive the death of a beloved spouse would include the following: 1. Surround yourself with family and friends to the degree you are comfortable. It is critical there be human support and understanding. 2. Seek out spiritual support to the level of where you are spiritually. If you believe in an eternal life, then you are aware God chose to have your spouse come first and that you will eventually be together again. 3. If you have a more secular view of life, then always remembering the wonderful times you had together will help you go to the next stage of your life without your spouse. 4. Taking care of yourself physically is very important. You can do damage to yourself physically due to your emotional distress if you do not eat appropriately,do not exercise,do not do personal hygiene and generally do not care for yourself. 5. Seek out online groups for grieving the death of a spouse or various community groups or groups with religious affiliation. 6. Seek out a professional therapist experienced in grieving the loss of a spouse to help give direction and support. 7. Do not make rash major life decisions after the death of a spouse. Quitting a job, selling a house, moving to another state, or any other major decision is best done after a period of time of reflection and dealing with the intense grieving that will occur. 8. Do not allow others to determine what is the appropriate amount of time for grieving. That is a personal experience that is totally different for every person. The exception to this statement is when the person grieving the death of a spouse cannot move on and can become a threat to themselves physically and emotionally.

Dec 8, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adhd children, Anxiety, braccio, children and covid, couples therapy, Depression, Divorce, east lansing, friendships, hope, making friends, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, schools and mental health, therapy during covid, wils, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WAYS TO KEEP YOUR MEMORY SHARP

WAYS TO KEEP YOUR MEMORY SHARPE

An ongoing common concern of many persons in this age of long living persons is their memory. With that said,even young persons have these concerns as they lead busy lives with a lot of stress and even human isolation in such a fast paced digital world. Working from home further isolates people and memory can slip with too much isolation. We will exclude from our discussion conditions like dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, that clearly relate to the deterioration of a person’s memory through physical brain loss and dysfunction. That withstanding,the suggestions made here can be helpful for them also to function as best as one can for as long as possible. Today we are talking about ways to help you deal with memory loss that are typical for most persons as we live our lives. It is also important to realize that in the busy stressful lives that persons live in at this time, it is not unusual to feel overwhelmed and stressed out at times so that remembering things can be difficult for even the most astute persons. The following are ways to keep your memory sharp in your lifetime. These suggestions would be valid regardless of whether your concerns of memory loss are psychological, physical, or some combination of both. 1. Keep your mind active and always seeking out new challenges and things to learn about in your life. 2. Seek out ongoing in-person interactions with others. 3. Keep physically active everyday to keep the flood blow to all parts of the body. 4. Keep your life and home organized to make sure you keep appointments, make necessary appointments, pay bills on time, and check off items on a required daily list as you do them. 5. Cut out distractions from your life to help keep your mind sharpe and tending to what needs to be done. 6. Sufficient sleep is critical to ongoing good memory. 7. Eat a good healthy diet. 8. Stay away from toxic people who cause great mental distress. 9. Meet with appropriate medical and mental health professionals as necessary to be as healthy as possible physically and mentally.

Nov 29, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER (OCD) AND YOUR CHILD

November 28, 2023- As we previously discussed, Obsessive-Compulsive DISORDER (OCD) can be a torturous psychological condition for even the brightest and most talented of persons. The cycle of obsessive thoughts seemingly only reduced by compulsive behaviors in a never ending cycle ,if not controlled, can greatly disrupt the life of the person with the condition. It can be particularly devastating psychologically for children and adolescents who do not understand what it is and believe it is normal that they can overcome obsessive thoughts by believing the compulsive behaviors will satisfy or eliminate them. OCD can alter the personality of the person with anger and high anxiety when someone tells them to stop these compulsive behaviors they believe must be done. Common obsessive thoughts and resulting compulsions include dirt which leads to constant washing of hands, constant reinforcement that what they are doing is right, extreme orderliness with clothes or whatever, belief they must pray over and over again to be forgiven for some wrong from the past,present or future, believing the compulsive behavior can save a life or disaster, and the belief their obsessive thoughts and resulting behaviors are normal and necessary to avert whatever is the fear they are eliminating . An additional concern is that anxiety, depression, insomnia,eating disorders and even suicide ideation can be side effects resulting from OCD. The following are suggestions on how to help your child or teenager suffering from OCD: 1. Do not believe it is a mental health condition your child will just grow out of. 2. Seek out an experienced therapist in treating OCD. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in the form of Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is considered the gold standard for mental health treatment. 3. Talk to your family physician or pediatrician to discuss possible medication. There are medications such as the SSRIs that have been helpful in the treatment of children and adolescents with OCD. They are usually used with moderate to severe OCD. 4. Family counseling can often be helpful so everyone is working together. 5. In a sensitive manner, parents need to help their children realize OCD is a mental health condition that needs to be eliminated as much as possible. Children cannot be allowed to believe the behavior is normal.

Nov 14, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, ADHD, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, Depression, difficult children, Divorce, drug abuse, envious, envy, fully licensed psychologist, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss “DO NOT ALLOW PAST MISTAKES AND “WHAT IFS” RUIN YOUR PRESENT

11-14-2023- Learning from mistakes in the past is a good thing to do. Thinking about things that we might have done in the past and wondering how they might have turned out can be interesting and also a good thing. These thoughts become a problem psychologically when we become overwhelmed by mistakes and perceived mistakes we made in the past and relive them and cannot be happy in the now. The anxiety creating “what iffing”is a classic cause of anxiety and can also lead to psychological turmoil by not being happy in the present and thinking about all the wonderful things that the person believes would have occurred if they had only done certain things. Of course,no one knows how events would have worked out on a choice not made. One cannot allow self to be negatively impacted by the past. If you find past mistakes or perceived loss of opportunities are causing you psychological grief,the following are suggestions to be happy in the present and not relive real and perceived mistakes in the past. 1. You can never COULD HAVE,SHOULD HAVE,MIGHT HAVE or OUGHT HAVE. Live in the NOW and do what you can. 2. Learn from your mistakes and use them as lessons in learning what not to do. Do not focus on them and cause yourself emotional pain. 3. As appropriate,advise others how to not make the mistakes you have made. This is a good way to feel better about your mistakes. 4. Do not emotionally torture yourself by replaying verbal and social interactions where you feel you embarrassed yourself. Learn from them. 5. If you cannot do this on your own,you can seek a therapist to help you experienced in such matters to guide you.

Nov 10, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, ADHD, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, Depression, difficult children, Divorce, drug abuse, envious, envy, fully licensed psychologist, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO COPE WITH ENVIOUS PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

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November 7, 2023

Last week we talked about the tortured life of the envious person. This week we are going to talk about how persons cope with the envious persons in their lives. Because we live in a competitive society where being number one or the best in their field is often the goal, it is not unusual there is a lot of envy in persons who do not reach that level of success. There also are envious persons who do not try to be number one but nevertheless are envious of hard working high achievers who they compare themselves unfavorably. Envious persons also can be envious of persons they see as greater or more successful. Because there is so much envy in the world, and envy is a part of every person even if to a minimal degree, it is important persons learn how to deal with envious persons. We do not need to worry about persons who are envious of us but do nothing more than being envious. With them, we can be positive and supportive of their positive traits and achievements. To those who are envious and we are not aware, there is nothing we can do. The problem is when persons are envious and try to undermine us in our lives,they can be just out and out sarcastic and mean to our face. They also try to undermine us when we are not around them and they are with others. Rather than being overwhelmed emotionally and feeling horrible because people are envious of us and try to undermine us, it is important we learn how to safeguard our self-esteem and confront such persons. The following are strategies to use to cope with the envious person who negatively impacts on us at whatever level in our lives. 1. Confront a person and stand up for yourself, and do not allow yourself to be bullied or treated unfairly. 2. Let the person know you are aware of their envy. Let them know you are not happy about it and are willing to confront them if they become sarcastic or try to undermine you in one way or another. 3. Try to talk to the person and indicate the behavior puts a strain on the friendship or whatever relationship there is, and that it could end it. 4. End the relationship with the person completely and recognize they are toxic to you and your life is far better without them in it. 5. If you must interact with them due to family, mutual friends, joint leisure activities etc., then keep your distance and always be on guard and willing to stand up for yourself as necessary. 6. As appropriate, ignore the person and let them say as they will with no need for any more interactions. 7. Be happy with who you are and what you have achieved,and never allow others to define you. 8. As felt necessary, seek out an experienced therapist to help guide you when dealing with envious persons.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss THE TORTURED LIFE OF THE ENVIOUS PERSON

Subscribe to our page! 10-31-2023 Envy can be torturous to a person who constantly desires the good fortune they perceive someone else is experiencing and are very upset emotionally they do not have it. It is a case where a person does not look at the benefits and gifts they have in life but constantly compare themselves with others and do it in a negative way. They can be envious of someone they perceive as better looking, having better luck, having more wealth, having a better personality, coming from a better family, having a more attractive spouse, having a better circle of friends, or any other thing that someone could be envious. The result is that the person suffers a form of emotional pain because they do not have what the other person has. It can be positive if it inspires someone to try harder to achieve something. That would be a positive type of envy. But today we are talking about the type of envy that hurts the person emotionally, and from which some persons never recover in their lives as they constantly find things to be envious. It is the rather odd phenomenon of counting the blessings of others and underestimating their own. The end result is psychological hurt and frustration.The causes of envy are often low self-esteem caused by difficulties in one’s youth. They can relate to poverty or feelings of not being treated fairly at home and in life. There also are competitive persons who simply must be number one even in areas they clearly are not. It is not by accident that envy is considered one of the seven deadly sins. At its worst,envy can lead to mocking the person for their perceived superiority or one can use sarcasm and other passive-aggressive strategies to undermine the person that one has envy. Ways to overcome envy would include the following: 1. Count and appreciate your own blessings and achievements! 2. Develop a sense of happiness that others have their blessings. 3. Make envy positive by improving yourself in areas that previously caused envy. 4. never compare yourself with others except for self improvement. Love yourself! 5. Accept you are an envious person and determine to overcome it. 6. Make changes in your own life to help eliminate envy. 7. Seek and find spiritual satisfaction to help overcome worldly envy and be happier. 8. If you feel it would be helpful, seek out a trained therapist with a person who is experienced in helping persons with envy.

Oct 25, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, dealing with covid, Depression, difficult children, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS FOR DEALING WITH A DIFFICULT CHILD

October 24, 2023- A person is very fortunate who has not had a difficult child at one time or another during the period they were being raised. In my work with parents trying to learn how to deal with a difficult child, my point is not to find fault with parenting techniques that have been used up to that time, but rather to try to find the best way for the parents to be able to work with a difficult child in the here and now. An important thing to remember is that children do not misbehave simply because they desire to do it. There is a reason for the behavior. It can be a parent is too strict or too lax. There are many other reasons that the misbehavior can occur. The important thing is to try to learn why is your child being so difficult with you. If it is hard to determine from all the possibilities ranging from a child wanting to control the house to a child simply desiring attention and willing to accept negative attention versus no attention,do not worry. The important thing is to try the following strategies to help you and your child: 1. Recognize you are a parent and your job is to model good behavior and not allow you or your child to be rude or disrespectful. 2. Regardless of what has happened to the present, you need to set up boundaries on what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. 3. Keep control of your own emotions and not allow your child to create a sibling-like relationship with you that simply devolves into constant arguing and disagreement. 4. Seek out when your child is behaving appropriately and praise them at that time. The goal is to encourage and reinforce appropriate behavior. Too often the parent says nothing when the child is behaving appropriately for the risk of beginning a conflict. 5. Reward good behavior when possible with compliments and potentially with desired activities or things as long as it is not simply a child being good to receive rewards. It is important to remember that when children behave as desired,we often do good things for them and see it as appropriate. 6. Have few rules in the house and enforce them with consequences that the child is aware of with no surprises. 7. As possible, have family discussions where there can be agreements on what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior, and what are the consequences for inappropriate behavior. When this occurs, and you and the child are aware their activities have led to the resulting consequences,they then must accept the consequences as their own making. Successful family discussions relating to appropriate behaviors are not simple to do but something to work on as a family over a period of time. What are acceptable behaviors by you can also be part of the plan. 8.. Take into account your own temperament and personality when dealing with your child. It is very possible the temperament and personality of your child are quite different from you and this leads to a lot of the bumping heads that is occurring between you. Try to use an approach that takes into account the needs of your personality as well as that of your child. Understanding these differences can be critical in developing good communication between the two of you. 9. Recognize situations where there are high risks of problems occurring and plan accordingly for how you will react to them. 10. Make sure you focus on the problem of the moment and do not bring in previous problems lest the discussion become one of a list of problems and not a resolution of a current one. 11. Seek out a therapist who can help your child behave more appropriately and potentially do family counseling. 10. Seek out an experienced therapist in family dynamics who can help guide you to be a more effective parent for both you and your child.

Oct 12, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss BE PREPARED PSYCHOLOGICALLY FOR RETIREMENT

October 10, 2023:

BE PREPARED PSYCHOLOGICALLY FOR RETIREMENT

I have learned in my work as a psychologist over the decades that persons when getting ready to retire, often do it with planning about their physical and financial conditions. Without a doubt,these are important areas to evaluate when you consider retirement. The problem is too often persons do not think about what the impact retirement will have on them psychologically. For example, a job is more than something a person simply spends time at. No,a job impacts a person’s self esteem, friendships, and image to all persons they meet and interact with. Being a farmer, psychologist, bookkeeper , physician , governmental worker, factory worker, radio broadcaster, etc., is a major part of who they are. When they retire, they become a “retired person” and people see them as such. This can be fine for many persons, but many others do not realize the importance their job had on them in relation to status, levels of friendship, levels of authority and the constant interaction and challenges in the workplace. One needs to prepare for such a radical change to their lives. Even persons who did not like their jobs can miss the relationships and interactions that were meaningful to them on a day to day basis. I have known and worked with many persons who were not prepared for the significant changes that occur in their life after retirement. The “golden retirement years” can be depressing , lonely, and demoralizing when the person feels isolated,bored and even without purpose. They can even feel guilty at their failure to feel fulfilled with their retirement . A recent AARP study found 57% of retired persons say they had not prepared psychologically for retirement. The following are some suggestions to help a person be psychologically ready to retire: 1.Make sure you want to do it and are ready psychologically. 2.Do not let age be the primary retirement determinant. I will be 80 years old this week and have never thought a day of retiring. 3.See retirement as a new phase of your life with new goals and challenges. 4.Look for new dreams to be fulfilled. 5.Join new groups and rekindle old friendships. 6.Enhance family and spousal relationships. 7.Complete desired educational goals you desire to complete. 8.Meet with a therapist experienced in dealing with mental health of persons preparing to retire as well as retired persons. 9.Further develop your sense of spirituality and purpose in life.

Oct 4, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, braccio, cheating, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, friendships, hope, infidelity, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, trust in relationships, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHEN TO STAY AFTER AN AFFAIR

10-03-2023-

WHEN TO STAY AFTER AN AFFAIR

This is our third segment on affairs and their effects on relationships. We discussed why persons have affairs and what the person who had it can try to do to salvage the relationship. Today we discuss why the aggrieved partner chooses to stay in the relationship when the philanderer has true remorse and wants the relationship to continue. This remorse is the key first step in keeping the marriage together. Further factors would include the following: 1.Good friends who enjoy the company of each other and the sharing of their lives. 2. Similar moral and/or spiritual values. 3. Sexual attraction and sexual needs. 4. Children and the impact on them. 5. Common interests and joint activities. 6. Financial considerations. 7. Future joint dreams and goals. 8. Probability or belief spouse or partner will never again philander. 9.Emotional needs being met.10. Willingness to take part in counseling. 11. And most importantly,a strong bond of love.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM Rebuilding Trust After an Affair- subscribe to our YouTube page!

September 26, 2023 Last week we discussed why persons have affairs. Today we are going to talk about how the person who had the affair can help rekindle the love in the relationship if the partner is willing to give the marriage or relationship another chance. It is critical that the person who had the affair clearly has remorse for what has occurred and tries to do everything possible to convince a spouse or partner what occurred was truly a betrayal, and will never happen again. The process will predictably be very slow and frustrating to the person who simply wants to let the past go and move on. That is not how things work in rebuilding a relationship where betrayal exists. When a person loves someone and believes they are loved equally, betrayal and infidelity are devastating to the whole underpinnings of the relationship and it is very hard to convince them they truly are the primary focus of the love of the person. The following are suggestions to try to make this happen: 1.Total authentic remorse. 2. Great long term patience. 3. Recognition the questions will keep coming over and over again. 4. Doubts about the authenticity of your remorse may be questioned for a very long period. 5. Always explain where you are when questioned during the rebuilding of love and trust period. 6. The timeline for forgiveness and building a different but potentially better love relationship is with the betrayed spouse or partner and not the philanderer. 7. A therapist trained in working with partners is philandering relationships could be helpful. 8.Spirtuality could also be a strong foundation for the rebuilding of the loving relationship. 9.Be aware,the betrayed person may never get over the affair and the marriage may end; however,it will not be because you did not try to authenticity rebuild a loving relationship.

Sep 22, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, braccio, cheating, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, friendships, hope, infidelity, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, trust in relationships, wisdom

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY PERSONS HAVE AFFAIRS

September 22, 2023-

WHY PERSONS HAVE AFFAIRS

Most of us are aware of a person or persons in marriage or monogamous relationships that have intimate relationships with other persons. The opportunities are many in such a fast paced society. The electronic world we live in today allows these relationships to be sexual, emotional, and a combination of the two without being physically together. My purpose here is to talk about why persons do this. The reasons are amazingly varied and can range from shallow sexual relationships to intense online emotional and sexual activity. We will talk another time about how relationships can be salvaged when affairs occur. Reasons would include the following: 1.Persons with an incapacity to commit to a monogamous relationship and never will. 2. Risktakers who enjoy the activity and hope not to get caught. They like living on the edge. 3.Persons who get caught up in the moment and determine they are going to do what they are going to do and not worry about the consequences. 4. Compulsive sex addicts. 5.Those who have affairs while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. 6. Persons who feel a lack of affection and the need to get it outside of the relationship. 7. A breakdown of communication between the spouses or partners that leads to the person feeling they need this and will get it one way or the other. 8. Poor self-esteem and the need to feel better about self by having another person pay them reinforcement and attention. 9. Concerns relating to conversations not taking place in the home and the need for discussion about them that only can occur outside of the home.10. Major physical or mental conditions of a partner such as severe pain, Parkinson’s disease, MS or dementia can lead to someone finding sexual and emotional satisfaction outside of the home. 11. Having children can lead to so much of the focus of the spouse or partner on the children, that the person feels abandoned and obtains sexual and emotional satisfaction outside of the home. 12. Physical separation for extended periods of time and the spouse or partner feels the need for in person sexual and emotional intimacy apart from the phone or visual communication…The point here is not to indicate any of these reasons, as well as many others, justify someone breaking the commitment to a marriage or monogamous relationship. The point is that affairs are incredibly common and it is critical that spouses and partners continually work on their relationships on a daily basis, and be aware that strong friendship is the glue that keeps relationships together. When persons take each other for granted, and do not treat each other like dear friends and let other priorities take precedence over their relationship, then affairs are often sadly the result.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHAT FAILURE TEACHES US- subscribed to our YouTube page!

WHAT FAILURE TEACHES US

9-12-2023- All of us experience failure at one time or another. How we react to it is critically important for future success. We will achieve our goals that can make us feel successful and satisfied psychologically if we do not allow failure to sabotage us. My point is not to say that failure is a wonderful thing we should seek. No, my point is that everyone has failures in life and successful persons have learned from their failures and have made better decisions which leads to the successes they have in life. When someone gives up and becomes sad, disappointed, and even disillusioned by failures, and chooses not to continue the fight, then failure becomes the ruling psychological victor and the person runs the risk of seeing self as a victim with little or no chance for real success and happiness in life. One needs to see failure as a learning experience and begin the ongoing fight for success. The following would include what can be learned from failure: 1.Accept failure is a part of life we all experience. 2. Recognize that continuing to do something is the beginning of success. 3. Failure is part of reality. 4. Do not focus on what might have happened but focus on what can happen by learning from the failure. 5. Accept whatever blame you deserve in the failure and never take on the role of victim. 6. Never give up. As long as you are alive, there is always the opportunity for success and overcoming failure. 7. As devastating as can be a divorce,not getting a promotion,losing out on a love or getting fired, the key is to learn from these experiences and make every effort to not have them happen again. 8. Manage your time more effectively,because many failures are the result of not appropriately prioritizing what needs to be done to be successful and wasting a lot of needed time. 9.See failure as teaching us what we need to learn, as opposed to what we do not know. 10. Reduce the pain of failure by simply seeing it as part of the process to being successful. 11. Do not allow others to define you by your failures. You define yourself by your overcoming failures and being successful…My point here is not to minimize the emotional pain that failure can cause. No,my point is that failure is the first step to success by changing the process that failed and trying a new approach to lead to success. It is a positive mindset in the midst of failure. You may have to accept many failures before you reach the success you desire. Ted Williams became a great baseball hitter by constant study of the opposing pictchers and finely honing his batting skills. The whole process you are using may need to be altered or you may need new goals and projects. To never give up is the critical ingredient for success and overcoming failure.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss OVERCOMING REJECTION-

OVERCOMING REJECTION

Rejection is a common experience that everyone experiences in their life to one degree or another. It is often accompanied with anxiety,depression and low self-esteem. It is a painful experience and how we react to it determines how we will overcome it and even use it to our advantage. Rejection can relate to love, family experiences, friendships , career opportunities/promotions, or a myriad of things that one encounters in life. The important thing is not to allow rejection to devastate your self-esteem. Sadly, this happens to many persons and they are never able to fulfill their potential to become that happy and successful human being that is within them. The following are things to do to help you overcome rejection: 1.Accept rejection is a part of life. 2.Accept how you react to rejection will have a strong influence on how happy is your life. 3.Accept what happened even as you do not like it. 4.Visualize a better future and do things to make it become reality. 5. Do not allow rejection to ever define who you are. 6. Grow from your experience and learn from it. 7. Avoid unproductive continuous thinking about your rejection. 8.Surround yourself with positivity. 9. If rejected in love, recognize the other person was not where you are, and be aware that was not the right situation for you. 10.Pamper self with understanding and compassion. 11.Recognize there is a rainbow and clear sunny skies ahead of the stormy life you are experiencing. 12.If bypassed for a job or promotion, recognize you were not prepared for the job or move on to a new position that will appropriately take into account your abilities. 13.Seek out friends who you can discuss your rejection with and who can help you navigate your feelings and give you better perspective. 14.Seek out an experienced therapist who can help guide you through your rejection in your current situation or maybe your overall outlook on rejection to help you function more effectively in life…Implementing some of these suggestions will predictably help you deal more effectively with rejection. With that said, rejection is painful and how we address it psychologically impacts how happy we will be in our lives.

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THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURE OF OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR(OCD)

August 29, 2023 Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder(OCD) can psychologically torture a person with a constant cycle of obsessing on an act or thought,having severe anxiety about eliminating it and completing a compulsive act or thought to relieve the sometimes debilitating anxiety. While the OCD sequence can relate to a seemingly almost endless list of thoughts and behaviors,they very commonly occur with extreme cleanliness and hatred of dirt or germs,hand washing,hoarding,keeping things in a rigid or symmetrical manner, numbers, and making sure over and over again you have locked the door or turned out the lights. A good example is the person constantly washing their hands and can only relieve the belief their hands are not dirty by constantly washing them again and again in an endless cycle. I remember a house hoarder who could no longer put things in his house buying another house to reduce his anxiety! An important thing to remember is that everyone has some activities they are very concerned about completing and getting them right. Wanting to have an orderly room or clean hands would be reasonable things for a person to desire and do. It becomes a problem when the OCD symptoms begin to interfere in the life of the person and the resulting anxiety and attempting to resolve it with rituals and time consuming activities and thoughts impact negatively on a person’s life that a person meets the diagnosis of OCD. It also is important to note that OCD symptoms can overlap with anxiety , ADHD, and depression to name a few. It is not unusual for a person with OCD to have additional diagnoses. Over the years, I have talked to many persons with OCD and can verify the condition can really be torturous for the person psychologically. I have talked to persons who are so concerned about food in a restaurant that they will pick through it with a fork and knife to make sure there are no bugs or other forms of dirt in it. Others who will not go to a restaurant out of utterly unreasonable fears of food contamination. Additionally, I have known persons so obsessed with how safe the air they are breathing or the water they are drinking that they are never comfortable with them to the point they are always checking them. This negatively impacts on their ability to function in all areas of their lives…If you feel you have OCD or some of the symptoms are growing and interfering with your psychological well-being,now is a good time to obtain an evaluation by an experienced psychologist in OCD and and also talk to your family physician or pediatrician to take back control of your life. .

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR MEMORY

August 22, 2023 – We all have questions about our memory at one time or another. Oftentimes, memory issues can relate to high levels of anxiety, depression, prescription medications,drug and alcohol abuse,high blood pressure,brain injury,and the general stressors of life that make it difficult for us to remember things that are important or not important. However, it is also true that as we age problems with memory can become significant, and it is important that we notice when this occurs and determine what we will do to try to control the memory problems as best we can. Typical questions to ask would include the following: 1.Do you feel you have memory loss? If so, how? 2.Do you feel you have intermittent memory problems? If so, how? 3. Do you feel memory problems are causing you significant problems in your personal, marital, and/or professional life? If so, how? 4. Have you noted ongoing consistent memory loss? 5. Do you get lost walking or driving in neighborhoods you are very familiar? 6. Do you regularly forget common words you have used daily your whole life? 7. Do you sometimes talk “word salads” that you think are understandable but are not by others? 8. Do you ask the same question over and over again in brief spaces of time and have no idea you are doing it? 9. Who has noticed you may have memory problems? If so, what specific examples and concerns are mentioned? 10. Are you under significant stress in your life? 11.Do you have high blood pressure, insomnia, stroke history or other physical conditions that could relate to your memory loss?… If you answer yes to some of these questions, it is important you talk to your family doctor and a psychologist skilled in the assessment of memory problems to determine the extent of the problems and possible medical and mental health help to positively impact on the symptoms as much as possible.

Aug 21, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts ADHD, ASD, aspergers, assessments, autism, Love, psychologists, psychology, relationships

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY ONE-SIDED RELATIONSHIPS ARE SO EMOTIONALLY DEBILITATING

August 22, 2023

WHY ONE-SIDED RELATIONSHIPS ARE SO EMOTIONALLY DEBILITATING

Being in a one-sided relationship can be devastating for someone emotionally. Persons enter into relationships with a goal of feeling more fulfilled by sharing a lifetime of experiences with someone. In the one-sided relationship, this never occurs. The person is constantly trying to meet the mercurial needs of the person that can never be met.The goal posts keep being moved, regardless of how hard someone tries. The end result can often be anxiety, insomnia, depression, hypervigilant, and never feeling fulfilled emotionally. There is a deep feeling of discontent and even hopelessness in the soul of the person that can be emotionally debilitating . It also can cause physical problems such as high blood pressure and headaches.Typical signs you are in such a relationship would include that you never feel secure, you feel poorly after interactions, you try to have a more meaningful relationship that never goes anywhere, you do not share your feelings with your partner, you will have constant feelings of rejection, you are always afraid of upsetting your partner and feel you are always walking on eggshells, you are always wrong and even sometimes called stupid, your self-esteem is shattered, you constantly make excuses for your partner , and cherish the few crumbs of kindness you receive in an ocean of torment as something that will occur more frequently but never does. Is this you to one degree or another? Then now is the time to understand why this is happening and what you can do to overcome it. No one deserves to exist in a one-sided relationship that only criticism,poor self-esteem and unhappiness are the rewards.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO DEAL WITH ABRASIVE AND ARGUMENTATIVE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

HOW TO DEAL WITH ABRASIVE AND ARGUMENTATIVE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

Abrasive and argumentative people are focused on their outlooks. They are always ready to challenge anyone at any time over their views. Anger is often present. They may have personality disorders like Narcissism and Intermittent Explosive Personality Disorder. Others are just difficult people annoying everyone they encounter with their know-it- all attitude. Some of them may be this way because they were always challenged and put down when they were growing up and this is their defense mechanism to always challenge others before they even have a chance to challenge them. Still others think they are always right and others need to know they are not very smart and it is their job to let them know this whenever they choose. it also is true that abrasive and argumentative persons often have low self-esteem They feel better finding fault with others as a way to build up their feelings of inadequacy. Regardless of the many possible causes, ways to defend yourself against such difficult persons would include the following: 1.Do not argue with an argumentative person when they make negative comments 2.Drop out of a discussion that obviously is going nowhere. 3.Understand that behaviors of abrasive and argumentative persons are the result of long ingrained inappropriate social habits. 4.In spite of the oftentimes hurtful nature of their comments,do not take them seriously. 5.Consider offering support for persons when they show remorse and ask for advice 6.Do not insist on arguing with the person when you can prove you are right and they are wrong. They will become adamant and angry. 7.Interact with them as little as absolutely necessary. 8.If necessary,make it clear you will not be bullied when there is no other option…If you follow one or more of these suggestions,it is still very difficult to have positive social interactions with such persons. You may have to interact if you work with them or they are family members,friends of them or friends of friends.The main thing is not to let them impact you and your view of yourself. They are long time abrasive and argumentative by choice from negative habits they formed in the past. They have to deal with their problems. It is critical in order for you to maintain positive self-esteem that you not have others take you down with their abrasive and argumentative ways. Only you can give credence to who you are.

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Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320AM discus WHEN “THINGS” DO NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY- Subscribe to our page!

August 1, 2023

It is a reasonable human desire to want things to make our life easier and more pleasant. It iscertainly true that having a nice home, car and other possessions such as electronic equipment,home furnishings, jewelry, and whatever else someone may desire to have can bring us a lot ofhappiness. It becomes a problem when we become obsessed with owning things and areconvinced by owning them we will be happy. And then,we are not happy after getting all these“things” we knew would make us happy. When this occurs,and it often does,persons need tofind internal aspects of themselves outside of their physical possessions to give greatermeaning to their lives. These would include learning new things,developing greaterspirituality,helping others,showing gratitude,focusing on being happy with what one has ratherthan always chasing the “thing” to make self happy,seeking out your purpose in life,find out whoyou really are,enjoying the moment one lives as it is all that is guaranteed in life,do not compareyour possessions with someone else,and enhance personal relationships with loved ones andfriends…A person’s world ruled by seeking happiness with owning “things” can be very lonelyand even downright depressing if one ends up alone or with shallow relationships because thisin effect can lead to the proverbial “love of gold” over personal development and lovingrelationships.