Hello Everyone!

I hope this Newsletter finds you well and surviving the Winter wherever you may be.This Newletter is about helping teenagers who anamur eskort bayan have substance abuses but want to end them and I have been asked to help out. My advice in my column below is from a question asked of me and that my answer is that you only enter into such a relationship with great caution or you will get hurt emotionally.

Question

Dr. Braccio:  My sister and nephew have asked my husband and me if we would let him live with us the end of this summer and next school year. If we can, we would like to help him and my sister. He will be in the 11th grade. He was fine until problem signs occurred in October. Then his grades began falling in school as he was using primarily pot but also some cocaine. He has been in treatment and has tested clean the past 2 1/2 months. Due to a late academic surge, he will pass this school year. He wants to come here for a change of environment. He and his mother have encouraged us to talk to his school counselor, school principal and substance abuse therapist who works with him in group therapy. We love him and would like to help him. Our kids are out of the home and we can take him in. We want to help but are worried. Should we let him live with us?

Answer

This is not a simple “yes” or “no” answer.

The positive factors are that he apparently has changed, you love him, want to help him and your sister, and he has asked to come to have a new opportunity.
The negative factors are that he has been on drugs, chaos would occur if he were to use them again, it could be difficult for him to adapt to a new environment, you will need to find a trained therapist in substance abuse for him, become aware of symptoms of substance abuse, and adapt to a new person in your home.

Prior to saying “yes”, I would suggest you talk to the school counselor, and school principal if need be, to determine how they feel about your nephew and the overall situation. Do they believe he will stay off drugs as well as be able to adapt to living in a new home environment?

Maybe most important, you need to talk to the therapist who runs the substance abuse group he is a part. Find out his/her professional opinion as to how your nephew is doing emotionally, if he could adapt to a new home environment, and if he/she believes he may go back to drugs.

If your nephew does come to live with you, obtaining and trying to implement the recommendations of the substance abuse therapist and school persons could be critical to your success.

If the principal, counselor, or substance abuse therapist have any doubts as to whether he will stay off drugs, I would suggest you and your husband not have him live with you.

While this may seem harsh, the pain would be too great for both of you if he were to live with you and go back to using illegal substances. It would be another defeat for him and would in all probability destroy your relationship with him for some time, and quite possibly permanently.

The key thing is that the probability of success must be very high for the sake of everyone involved.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

“What if” scenarios are one of the great causes of Human Anxiety.We need to anamur bayan escort relax, look at reasonable outcomes and not worry ourselves sick. The following Question/Answer can be helpful to you or someone you love overcome the torture of “what if” scenarios.

Question

I admit to being a “what if” mom. I worry about everything even though nothing really bad happens to me, my husband or our three children. I feel I put too much pressure on my family to make sure everything is done right and safely. I also resent that my husband and children don’t worry like I do. My main concern is that my daughter is going to be driving on her own this summer. I’m a basket case, which is making her, her younger brothers, and my husband all upset with me. They all say she is capable of driving and is a responsible person. They feel I’m overreacting, as always. Maybe that’s true, but I worry she’ll be killed in an accident. I also won’t know what she’s doing because I won’t be driving her around. I’m probably overly concerned but can’t stop “what if-ing”. What can I do?

Answer

You need to back off. If your daughter is responsible, and she seems to be, then driving alone is an activity she can do with appropriate training and after reaching the legal age. As for your constant worrying, try giving yourself an hour of worry time each day, combating your “what if ” thoughts with positive affirmation non-worry thoughts. If you still cannot cope, you should seek help from a therapist experienced with anxiety issues. To “what if” every situation is really a torturous condition. The anxiety that results from the worry does not allow you to enjoy the present. Right how your present is full of anxiety. Remember all your worrying will never change a thing. You’re better off educating your children so they can make good decisions when problems arise. Use your energy to make sure your daughter is fully prepared to drive and could do it without the unnecessary pressure of your dramatic worrying at home. This could cause her to be an anxious driver and this could be dangerous. Another issue here seems to be a premature dress rehearsal for the “empty nest syndrome”. This is natural stage of the weaning process that begins when our children first are let out of our sight. You need to see her driving as a necessary step in her developing autonomy in life. Of course, you need to make sure she is well prepared and drives as you desire. A positive aspect to your daughter’s driving is the autonomy and responsibility it will help her develop. It also allows you to use the car as a tool to encourage appropriate behavior in your daughter. The privilege of driving the car can be a great incentive for better grades, getting a job and doing regular chores. To stop “what if-ing” will be very difficult for you. The pattern of thinking seems well-ingrained. The important thing is for you to enjoy the present. Prepare for problems but enjoy the joys of everyday living with a loving and caring family.

My Program on “Panic Attacks: Stop Them Now!” and various of my Brownbag CD Programs could be helpful if this is a problem for you.

My Program on “Panic Attacks: Stop Them Now!” and various of my Brownbag CD Programs could be helpful if this is a problem for you.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

Parents regularly call me and meet with me because of problems with their children.It is important mersin eskort to know that the best of parents have problems with teaching responsibility to their children. This is a response to a question to me about children learning responsibility.

Question

Dr. Braccio:  Even though our 9 and 10 year old children are usually polite and helpful to others, they don’t have a sense of responsibility in our home. We have to ask them to do what we want until we’re blue in the face. They behave as if we’re torturing them when we ask them to help out in the house. Whether it’s cleaning their rooms, which sometimes look like a tornado hit them, or taking out the trash, they have no initiative to help. Sometime we do it ourselves just to avoid an argument. What did we do wrong? What can we do to develop a sense of responsibility in them? We hope it’s not too late.

Answer

You have not created a home where your children are expected to do what you want. It is never too late to start developing responsibility in children, though, it simply makes it harder when you start when they are 9 and 10.
The fact they “are usually polite and helpful to others” is positive and how they simply need to learn to be responsible at home.

Responsibility does not just happen. It’s important for the two of you to demonstrate responsibility. Also, your expectations should be age-appropriate. It would be helpful to have a predictable daily and weekly list of chores. To help remind your children, put the list in a prominent place, such as on the refrigerator door.

Praise and encourage them when they do what you expect, and have appropriate and consistent punishment when they do not. Privileges, allowances and other special family benefits need to be withheld when they are not meeting their home responsibilities.

It is important that they not only know what is expected of them, but most importantly, why it is important they develop a sense of responsibility. This may be a hard sell initially, but with patience and persistence they will become responsible.

The goal is for them to take ownership of what they must do. Even though you are starting late, begin right away and move with confidence. You will succeed in developing a sense of home responsibility in them if you do not waver in your age- appropriate expectations.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Welcome to my monthly Newsletter

Hope your New Year is going well.Happy New Year Everyone!
We made it through Christmas and the Holiday Period and the New Year begins!

An easy plan is to put a smile on your face and say konya merkez bayan arkadaş hello to at least one new person a day. So many people are lonely in our world. You can brighten up the life of so many people this year just by saying hello. It will also make you feel better as you realize you are helping others.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

As Christmas and 2007 draw near, we need to continue to eat healthy and not drink excessively. The following are some strategies that can be helpful:

• Determine what you will eat and drink prior to taking part in any parties, meals or celebrations.
• Recognize that many persons gain unnecessary weight over the holidays because they lose control of their eating and drinking habits.
• Exercise on a regular routine.You may have to adjust your regular workout schedule due to travel, konya merkez bayan arkadaş having visitors or other reasons.
• Be polite but let persons who do not know your healthy eating, drinking or exercise habits know you are firm with them. Do not let your guard down. Bad habits begin when we break good ones.
• Do not do excessive labor. Too many heart attacks occur during the holiday period.
• Christians need to remember Christmas is a Holy day to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ and is not a time just to party, buy and receive gifts.

I wish you and those you love the happiest and holiest of days and a prosperous and healthy New Year. Your emails and communications during 2006 were appreciated and I want them to continue in 2007.

Guilt is generally a useless emotion unless we have done escort bayan mersin wrong and will not undo it or do not feel bad for what we did in the past.

Question

Dr. Braccio:  Our 17-year old son is very fine person. He will graduate from high school after a successful academic, social and athletic experience. The problem is, he only recently told us he has increasingly been feeling horrible about how he mocked and treated a boy when they were in ninth grade. Other kids did it also, but my son says he can’t get over the guilt he has for how he treated him. Our son says the boy left school abruptly and went to parochial school. He believes this is because of how they treated him. My son recently ran into him while out at the theatre. The boy was friendly and asked how he was doing. His friendly attitude made our son feel even worse after how poorly he treated him. He told us how he feels and asked us what to do to make up for what he did. We feel he should talk to the boy and tell him how he feels. What do you think?

Answer

I believe you are correct. To seek him out and tell him how he feels would be a great thing to do for both of them. Guilt is a horrible emotion that needs to be eliminated whether it is based on reality or a false feelings created in us by expectations of others that we inappropriately internalize.

In this case, guilt appears to be an appropriate feeling in him because he clearly did something wrong by his moral standards. This is true whether or not his standard were similar in the past. The way to best resolve the situation would be as follows:

1. Admit to himself that he did wrong.
2. Seek out the person and clearly spell out what he feels he did wrong and apologize. The apology would appear to be the key thing he can do at this late time. Even if the boy minimized what happens, the important thing is that your son admits he believes he did wrong.
3. Make a conscious decision never to do such a thing to another human being.

Anger is a strange emotion.Those who thrive mersin anamur eskort bayanları on it are as ineffective as those who try to repress it completely. We all know what it is but none of us can fully agree on it’s legitimate purpose.

We have the phenomenon of the coach or supervisor telling a player or worker respectively to control his/her anger while another is told anger is something they need to express with aggressive people or in hopeless situations.

We think of the raging spouse in a drunken stupor bashing family members. We also think of the person we believe needs to get angry and stand up for his/her rights. In the latter situation, we may use the word “assertive” in place of angry, but it clearly is part of the overall anger continuum from being “annoyed” to “raging mad”.

The reason is logical why we have so many conflicting views on anger: Because anger in itself is neither good nor bad. The key is how we use it. Anger can save someone in a life- threatening crisis where defending self is critical. It also can destroy one’s relationships with others if one verbally or physically assaults them.

When we are treated unfairly, anger is an appropriate emotion; but only to the degree to resolve the problem. To be angry and to diplomatically express one’s feelings to someone if treated unfairly in the home or at work is a positive use of anger. To physically assault the person would be totally inappropriate. The ultimate irony in a physical attack is that the one who treats someone badly would become the victim because physical assaults are completely unacceptable in our society regardless of the anger provoking person or situation. Even a brutal verbal attack would be inappropriate under all but the most extreme provocations.

Rage is the far end of anger and is generally destructive to the “raging person” under the best of circumstances. Many persons in jail for assault, domestic and otherwise, may have been wronged, but their acts of rage far outweigh the gravity of what caused the anger.

Ongoing anger has a negative effect on one’s physical and mental health. Reducing the stress, anxiety, and depression that result from ongoing anger can help a person live a longer and healthier life.

It would be very difficult to find a happy person who is always filled with anger. The negative impact on persons around them is nearly as destructive as it is to themselves.

The “happy optimist” has wonderful traits that the “angry pessimist” does not. He/she sees the positive side of all situations and has the marvelous quality of humor. The person can laugh at self and others and accept human imperfections with the belief people want to change and be their best. The resulting positive attitude greatly reduces feelings of anger for self and others. Go for it, being angry is a lose-lose situation for everyone involved with it.

This is an example of where people have come together mersin eskort and each is enriched. We all need a purpose in life. You can call it fate or the hand of God.

Question

Dr. Braccio:  Due to an accidental death of one parent and a severe life ending illness to the mother, we have taken guardianship of our eleven year-old nephew. Amazingly, he’s a positive boy. We’re not. My husband and I never had children and he’s had a bad life and is bitter. Even his retirement party was without much ceremony. I’m negative and have very little to be happy about and am basically waiting to die. We worry we will ruin our nephew. He’s such a good and wonderful fellow. He makes us feel better with his sweet laugh and willingness to help out. We don’t mean to, but he’s already seeming unsure of himself as we find negative in everything. What can we do? He a gentle spirit and we want to help him.

Answer

Whether you believe in luck or spiritual intervention, your nephew appears to be what you two need to put positive meaning into your lives.

Your nephew shows one can be positive in spite of a tragedy filled life. Even though he is so young, you can learn from him and build a positive life together.

Interestingly, you have already identified the problem in this situation and it lies in your minds and hearts. As you have chosen to acquire these negative and destructive attitudes and behaviors, you can equally choose to change them. What would ultimately be the harm in a positive world view? The answer is a resounding “absolutely nothing”.  Ask yourselves this, “What kind of a pay-off do we get by remaining negative in our beliefs and expectations? Does this negativity serve to enrich our lives? Do we fear living in joy or peace? If you honestly ask these questions, the answer will clearly be there is no payoff, your negativity does not enrich your lives and amazingly, by your attitudes and behaviors, you must fear to live in joy or peace. Change your outlooks and launch yourself as eagles with clear vision to help yourselves and your nephew.

You can best make changes as you become increasingly aware of every self-limiting or other destructive thoughts and/ or behaviors you exhibit. Choosing love over negativity and debilitating fear would seem to be easy, but it is not when you are so ingrained with negative outlooks. Be responsible for your own happiness.

Since you’re including that loving and gentle spirited nephew in your lives, that responsibility does include creating a secure and harmonious emotional environment for all ofyou.

If you feel the need for support, there are many counseling and therapy resources available to continue your quest to do your best yourselves and your nephew. If you have a spiritual support group or a trusted minister, this can be very supportive and nurturing.

As you try to direct your thoughts, reinforce in your own mind that you have positive intentions to think and behave in the most nurturing ways for your own and your nephew’s sake.

This child is a perfect psychological fix for your needs. How fortunate you are to celebrate life with such a sensitive and gentle spiritual young man. Set high expectations for yourselves and live up to them every day. You can actually “behave” your way into a new and always growing.

Have fun and surprise yourselves with the wonder of the day and the excitement of new adventures. This child has brought you a most precious gift, joy! Cherish and embrace it wisely! Use it to cut loose the bitterness and unhappiness of your pasts. The future is now and it can be warm and sun drenched daily experience. The possibilities are limitless.

Anger continues to be a major concern I see in my practice and all of us see it everyday in so many people we escort mersin read about and interact with in our individual lives. This is an article with some of my reflections on Anger. There are more articles in the section that explains my DVD and CD Set, “I’m Free From Anger Program”, that I made to specifically help people with Anger or those around them.

Thoughts on Anger

Anger is a strange emotion. Those who thrive on it are as ineffective as those who try to repress it completely. We all know what it is but none of us can fully agree on it’s legitimate purpose.

We have the phenomenon of the coach or supervisor telling a player or worker respectively to control his/her anger while another is told anger is something they need to express with aggressive people or in hopeless situations.

We think of the raging spouse in a drunken stupor bashing family members. We also think of the person we believe needs to get angry and stand up for his/her rights. In the latter situation, we may use the word “assertive” in place of angry, but it clearly is part of the overall anger continuum from being “annoyed” to “raging mad”.

The reason is logical why we have so many conflicting views on anger: Because anger in itself is neither good nor bad. The key is how we use it. Anger can save someone in a life- threatening crisis where defending self is critical. It also can destroy one’s relationships with others if one verbally or physically assaults them.

When we are treated unfairly, anger is an appropriate emotion; but only to the degree to resolve the problem. To be angry and to diplomatically express one’s feelings to someone if treated unfairly in the home or at work is a positive use of anger. To physically assault the person would be totally inappropriate. The ultimate irony in a physical attack is that the one who treats someone badly would become the victim because physical assaults are completely unacceptable in our society regardless of the anger provoking person or situation. Even a brutal verbal attack would be inappropriate under all but the most extreme provocations.

Rage is the far end of anger and is generally destructive to the “raging person” under the best of circumstances. Many persons in jail for assault, domestic and otherwise, may have been wronged, but their acts of rage far outweigh the gravity of what caused the anger.

Ongoing anger has a negative effect on one’s physical and mental health. Reducing the stress, anxiety, and depression that result from ongoing anger can help a person live a longer and healthier life.

It would be very difficult to find a happy person who is always filled with anger. The negative impact on persons around them is nearly as destructive as it is to themselves.

Question

Dr.Braccio:  Our pediatrician referred us to get a full psycho-educational assessment for possible mersin escort bayan ADD when we and the school noticed our son could not pay attention and was having problems at home and school. We had the assessment and he was diagnosed with AD/HD with Depression. This was surprising until we realized he has been down because of criticism he is getting at home and school. We’re going to now meet with the pediatrician but do not know what questions to ask. We feel he may need medication but are a little afraid. What should we ask and what is appropriate. We worry we could get the pediatrician upset if we ask too many questions.

Answer

It is fully appropriate to ask your pediatrician about medication. The pediatrician will most likely be impressed with the effort you have put into your questions. It also is true that parents must never have a child take medication without knowing enough about it to be comfortable. Risks need to be known and benefits need to greatly offset them.

It is a common for there to be other comorbid conditions with AD/HD. Depression with AD/HD can be as high as 20%. Your pediatrician can best help you determine the impact each condition has on the other. With or without medication, sometimes it takes awhile to determine if the Depression or AD/HD is primary and causing the other symptoms to occur. Sometimes each condition is separate from each other and other times one or the other enhances the other condition.

To begin with, make sure the pediatrician explains the diagnosis fully. In this case, it is both AD/HD and Depression. Ask as many question as you need to about the diagnosis to make sure you are comfortable with your understanding.

The following are some good basic questions to ask:

• Can you explain how the Depression and AD/HD interact and what relationship, if any, they have with each other?
• Could the Depression cause the AD/HD features or vice versa?
• What medication or medications are prescribed and how do they work on the body?
• How soon might we see an improvement?
• How often does our son take the medication?
• How will it be decided to change the dosage, end the medication or try another medication?
• What are the negative side effects of the medications?
• What happens if my child misses a dose or does not take it?
• Have there been studies done on the medication(s) with persons the age of my child?
• What do we do if we see changes we are concerned about?

This is an example of where people have come together and each is enriched. We all need a purpose in life.You can call it fate or the hand of anamur escort kızlar God.

Question

Dr. Braccio:  Due to an accidental death of one parent and a severe life ending illness to the mother, we have taken guardianship of our eleven year-old nephew. Amazingly, he’s a positive boy. We’re not. My husband and I never had children and he’s had a bad life and is bitter. Even his retirement party was without much ceremony. I’m negative and have very little to be happy about and am basically waiting to die. We worry we will ruin our nephew. He’s such a good and wonderful fellow. He makes us feel better with his sweet laugh and willingness to help out. We don’t mean to, but he’s already seeming unsure of himself as we find negative in everything. What can we do? He a gentle spirit and we want to help him.

Answer

Whether you believe in luck or spiritual intervention, your nephew appears to be what you two need to put positive meaning into your lives.

Your nephew shows one can be positive in spite of a tragedy filled life. Even though he is so young, you can learn from him and build a positive life together.

Interestingly, you have already identified the problem in this situation and it lies in your minds and hearts. As you have chosen to acquire these negative and destructive attitudes and behaviors, you can equally choose to change them. What would ultimately be the harm in a positive world view? The answer is a resounding “absolutely nothing”.

Ask yourselves this, “What kind of a pay-off do we get by remaining negative in our beliefs and expectations? Does this negativity serve to enrich our lives? Do we fear living in joy or peace? If you honestly ask these questions, the answer will clearly be there is no payoff, your negativity does not enrich your lives and amazingly, by your attitudes and behaviors, you must fear to live in joy or peace. Change your outlooks and launch yourself as eagles with clear vision to help yourselves and your nephew.

You can best make changes as you become increasingly aware of every self-limiting or other destructive thoughts and/ or behaviors you exhibit. Choosing love over negativity and debilitating fear would seem to be easy, but it is not when you are so ingrained with negative outlooks. Be responsible for your own happiness.

Since you’re including that loving and gentle spirited nephew in your lives, that responsibility does include creating a secure and harmonious emotional environment for all of you.

If you feel the need for support, there are many counseling and therapy resources available to continue your quest to do your best yourselves and your nephew. If you have a spiritual support group or a trusted minister, this can be very supportive and nurturing.

As you try to direct your thoughts, reinforce in your own mind that you have positive intentions to think and behave in the most nurturing ways for your own and your nephew’s sake.

This child is a perfect psychological fix for your needs. How fortunate you are to celebrate life with such a sensitive and gentle spiritual young man. Set high expectations for yourselves and live up to them every day. You can actually “behave” your way into a new and always growing.

Have fun and surprise yourselves with the wonder of the day and the excitement of new adventures. This child has brought you a most precious gift, joy! Cherish and embrace it wisely! Use it to cut loose the bitterness and unhappiness of your pasts. The future is now and it can be warm and sun drenched daily experience. The possibilities are limitless.

The New Year is a new beginning for many persons as they choose resolutions to konya merkez eskort improve themselves. I encourage you to do that now or another time if you are not ready on January 1st. I love to see a person choose to be more effective and happy in his or her personal life, social life, work life, family life, or spiritual life.

The following article is what I wrote for the Lansing State Journal as a response to a question that may be helpful to you as you successfully complete resolutions for the New Year or thereafter. The topic this month is “New Year’s Resolutions”. The “I’m Free From Smoking” Freedom Kit as well as others in our online store could hopefully help you.

Question

Dr. Braccio:  We again are trying as a family to make and keep our New Year’s Resolutions. Our problem is that neither I, my wife or either of our two teenage children keep them for more than a month or two. I’m always going to quit smoking, my wife is always going to lose weight and our kids are always going to study more. We either forget or just decide we will not do them. It seems we try to do too much or choose things we won’t do. Can you help us with this so 2006 will be different?

Answer

Your problem is very common. Most persons enter the New Year loaded with resolutions and good intentions. With time, the resolutions are often forgotten or seem like too much work. We all know persons just like you, who each New Year’s Day are going to exercise every day, study more, lose 75 pounds or never smoke a cigarette again. Come February or March, or even sooner, many are back to not exercising, not studying, overeating and smoking.
Other common resolutions would be to learn something new, help others, organize your life better, reduce debt, stop drinking alcohol, get more out of life and show more love for your family and dear friends.

Success comes with being reasonable and having attainable goals. For example, if you quit smoking, you need to be aware of how powerful nicotine addiction is and have a plan on what to do when the going gets tough. For those who plan to lose weight, you need to plan your meals and eat nutritiously. Good study habits need a quiet environment with planned times on a regular basis. Exercising requires you to know where and when you will exercise on a planned basis.

The following are some things you can do to give yourself a greater chance for success in the coming year:

• Be reasonable and realistic in your resolutions. It is better to set and accomplish smaller resolutions than fail at big ones. For example, you are better to lose 10 pounds than fail at losing 75.
• Plan out each resolution in advance with a purposeful plan that will include how to do it and what problems with solutions that you may encounter.
• Use a team approach of your family and/or friends. For example, you can exercise as a family, couple or with your neighbor.
• Get excited about your resolutions. See them as opportunities to improve yourself as you accomplish what you desire.
• Set up rewards as you succeed. For example, buy a CD or DVD you want if you stop smoking for seven days.
• Choose a person you can count on to talk to for encouragement if the going gets tough.
• If you fail, see it as temporary and go back to working on your resolution. The completion of many successful resolutions have been doted with small failures.
• Recognize you have the internal power to accomplish what you desire and do not give up.

What’s NEW in 2006?

“AD/HD: A parents guide to help your child take control over AD/HD” Freedom Kit will be available by March of 2006. It is a comprehensive DVD and CD Freedom Kit to specifically deal with children and adolescents. Your child deserves the tools to achieve self-control. An adult version is planned to be available in the Summer of 2006.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Question

Dr.Braccio:  My husband and silifke escort numaraları I are heavy smokers. We have been for over fifteen years. We actually met at work outside smoking. We both have enjoyed smoking but feel for the sake of our two young children that we should stop.  We’ve each tried to quit various times separately and together. But we keep smoking. We both seem to need to smoke in spite of how bad we know it is for us and our children. Can you give us ideas on how we can do it? It’s tough for us to quit and it shouldn’t be so hard.

Answer

For one who has seen dear friends and clients die difficult and undignified deaths, who himself smoked for twenty-seven years, and has tried to help persons stop smoking for the past twenty-five years, the power of nicotine addiction and the havoc it and related chemicals cause on the human body are tragically very clear. Included would be: Nicotine, Arsenic, Ammonia, lead and carbon monoxide.

Even though millions of people have quit smoking on sheer determination, most failed at least a few times and many needed some type of a program or plan to quit. Regardless of what motivates you to quit, the key is a firm belief that you can quit and an iron desire to stop. Success will not happen if either is lacking.

The dangers of smoking are so obvious and harsh that you need to face them closely as you continue to smoke. The American Lung Association says there are approximately 430,700 deaths per year in the United States resulting from smoking related illness. Yearly costs in the United States due to smoking are $97.2 billion dollars in lost productivity and health care costs. Smoking is responsible directly for 87% of lung cancer and most cases of emphysema and chronic bronchitis. Second hand smoke is dangerous for everyone. Your children will have a greater tendency to colds, bronchitis, asthma and inflammatory bowel disease. The toll for smoking is deadly and horrific for the smoker and those who inhale second hand smoke.

Why quit: American Cancer Society: Second hand smoke, smoking by pregnant women, diseases.  Based on what I have read and seen work over the years, the following are suggestions that could help you. You can pick and choose what would be helpful to you. Remember that the journey to stop smoking is very individual. Many just say enough is enough and “stop cold turkey” while others need a more involved program or planning process.

• Determine why you do smoke and why you feel it would be good to stop smoking.
• Make a decision to quit smoking.
• Write down the reasons you desire to stop smoking and keep it with you at all times. Try to have at least five: Health, cost, worries for hurting others, dirty clothes. Pull it out and look at it each time you are going to smoke and then when temptation occurs after you have stopped smoking. This is something very important to have and use.
• Pick a quit date and clear your house , work , car and any other places where you have smoked before of cigarettes, ashtrays and anything you associate with smoking. It is best the quit date be on a calm and peaceful day. (Just like eating).
• Find a support person or team you can talk to when tempted or you need to talk. You can also use each other.
• Recognize you cannot have another cigarette and say to yourself, “One cigarette is too many and thousands and thousands would not be enough”.
• Stay away from persons and environments that trigger smoking. This often includes drinking alcohol and eating out.
• Even if prescriptions may not be necessary from your physician, to meet with your family physician about using nicotine replacement products is a good idea. If you use the non- nicotine medication Zyband/Welbutrin, you need a doctor’s prescription.. Even if many persons choose not to replace nicotine with nicotine, they are helpful to some on their own or in connection with some of these suggestions. Nicotine replacement has been helpful with heavy smokers. It also is true that nicotine is only one of over 4,000 components in cigarettes, including arsenic, carbon monoxide and other deadly chemicals.
• Use the Trance Hypnosis Deep Relaxation tape to help you stop smoking before you quit and use it at least once daily. Two or more times is better. Hypnosis works for some if they feel it can be helpful as part of the overall process of stopping smoking. As with most strategies, belief in the process has much to do with the success of the person stopping smoking.
• Take deep breathing breaks in place of smoking breaks to help you relax and curtail smoking craving by mimicking the inhaling of cigarettes.
• Acupuncture is another strategy used to help stop smoking.
• Immediately after you quit smoking, drink a lot of water to help flush the nicotine out of your body as well as satisfying any oral cravings you may have.
• Deep breathing.
• Do something different and get out of the situation. Physical Activity, visit the dentist to clean your teeth. Change habits to make smoking more difficult like tennis, jogging, walking, biking, etc
• Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables to both eat healthy and help you resist any weight gain.
• Weight control. Do regular exercising to keep healthy, maintain your weight, keep your mind off smoking and get pleasure and relaxation while ridding your body of nicotine and nicotine cravings.
• If you need an oral replacement, you can use cinnamon sticks, straws, celery, strawberries, carrots, mints, etc.
• Use a squeeze ball, worry beads, a pencil or something else to keep your hands busy to drop part of the smoking habit.
• Recognize the first few days will be very difficult and not smoking the first three weeks is critical. Be prepared for the internal statements as the addictive “Mr. or Ms. Nicotine” says, “Go ahead and have just one.” Relapse can never occur without taking “just one”.
• Constantly applaud yourself for being a non-smoker and being aware you will never smoke again.
• What to expect: Depression, anger/irritability, headache, restless insomnia trouble confrontation, frustration. Withdrawal is tough. Will begin within a few hours and peak two or three days later. Symptoms can last a few days to a few weeks.
• Recognize that to stop smoking must be irreversible to you as choices to marry and have children.
• Set a goal of what to do special with money saved from smoking. If the two of you smoke one pack of cigarettes each day, and as heavy smokers you probably smoke more, the cost is $3,285.00 a year at $4.50 a pack. A family trip to Florida or California would be a wonderful reward and you could go in style!
• Go to a cemetery to quietly and solemnly think how many people are there long before their time due to smoking. It is a sobering experience.
• Think regularly of the sad waste of a life of someone you knew who died early because of smoking.
• If you relapse, recognize failure is giving up. At least is set back and nothing more. Start his program over.

Helpful information on the dangers and effects of smoking and how to stop can be found on the internet sites of the American Lung Society, American Heart Association, and The American Cancer Society.  Even though there is much help out there, nicotine addiction through smoking is very powerful; however, if you have the heart and will and use the resources that fit your individual journey to stop smoking, you will succeed. I have confidence in you. Say after me: “I’m Free From Smoking”.

Welcome to my very first newsletter

I will write about a specific topic in each newsletter and include a previously written article. The topic this month is “Bullying.”

This is an age when we are escort bayan mersin tying to stop bullying in our schools. This is a positive direction that society is pushing. There are few things more painful than seeing your child or someone you care for feeling hurt and fearful because of bullying.

The Question/Answer article below is one I wrote for the Lansing State Journal. It will hopefully be helpful to you or someone you love. Any feedback on the article or the topic would be appreciated.

Question

“I recently heard my ten-year old daughter talking about how mean they are to a girl that rides the bus with them to school. They call her four eyes because of her thick glasses and call her weird and ugly. They seem proud of themselves. I went in and said I could not believe what they are doing. The two girls were sent home and I really gave it to my daughter. She tried to defend herself but then quit and cried after I said how horrible it was to do what she did.  I called the mothers of the girls I sent home. They are friends of mine and agree completely with me. I called the home of the girl and apologized to the mother on my part and had my daughter apologize to her daughter. The mother thanked me. I feel I did the right thing. My husband said I overacted and should have let them work it out. What do you think?

Answer

I think you did the right thing to firmly let your daughter know her behavior was horrible and totally unacceptable to you. That she initially tried to defend herself shows the need for a strong approach to educate her on appropriate behavior. You need to explain to your daughter why bullying is terrible and unacceptable. Try to have your daughter understand how bad she would feel if treated the same. You can do this in a firm and loving manner.

That your daughter had help from two of her friends makes the treatment even worse and pure bullying.  In the case of the mother of the girl, in today’s world it was a risk to call her without knowing what reaction she might have. This was not a problem with the girls with your daughter because their mothers are your friends. To call the principal for some direction would have been a better idea. You would have gotten the same results with minimal risk. It would still be a good idea for you to call the principal to explain what happened and make sure this bullying does not happen again.

I would disagree with your husband. While it is a part of good parenting to not over involve ourselves in every relationship problem our children have, it does not relate to this situation. Your daughter must learn that bullying is totally inappropriate. Good parenting requires that it be extinguished immediately before it ends up as an ingrained type of behavior that would be much harder to change.

If this type of behavior continues, you will need to set up definite consequences. Hopefully, your firm and decisive action will not make this necessary. In this case, the tears of your daughter probably had a cleansing quality effect on her.