Category: Podcasts

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

    Dr John & Dave Akerly 7-7-20 THE PSYCHOLOGICAL DEVASTATION OF PARENTAL ALIENATION ON CHILDREN

    A study from some years ago says 11-15% of divorces result in some form of parental alienation. Even if the numbers are smaller,anyone who has seen the severe psychological damage done to children when they experience parental alienation and/or when they are adults,the damage is clear. It is severe child abuse. Children want to love and be loved by both parents. It is confusing and psychologically damaging to the child when taught to hate a good parent while constantly hearing everything bad about him or her. This hatred can be extended to all friends and family members of the alienated parent. Such alienation can lead to self-contempt for being the child of someone so horrible. Depression,low self-esteem,anxiety,PTSD,future alienation from their own children,poor relationships,divorces,substance abuse/alcoholism,abandonment issues,unable to trust,unable to love,guilt-ridden,weak personal boundaries and long term inappropriate personal hated for a parent who may have been a loving parent…This is not a pretty picture. I have seen a lot of horrible parental alienation behavior to know all of us need to do whatever we can to not allow it to happen. The psychological devastation to the alienated children can carry on for generations with poor interactions with their children and partner relationships. School personnel,family members,judges,friends of the court,clergy,therapists and friends of the alienating parent can all try to help stop the alienating process. It is very difficult but we all can try with hopefully some success.

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

    HOW TO DEVELOP A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF WHEN ALL YOU FIND ARE NEGATIVES

    6-30-20 Dr John Braccio and Dave Akerly on 1320 AM WILS discuss HOW TO DEVELOP A STRONGER  RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF WHEN ALL YOU FIND ARE NEGATIVES

    When thinking of building stronger relationships, we usually think of them pertaining to couples or maybe friendships, families, working persons, or groups of one type or another. That eliminates the arguably most important relationship one has: The one with yourself. The following are some suggestions that can be helpful: 1. STOP SHAMING YOURSELF WITH SENSELESS NEGATIVITY. 2. NOONE HAS DIED COMPLAINING THEY WERE TOO HAPPY AND POSITIVE IN LIFE. JOIN THIS GROUP FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 3. STOP SELF-DESTRUCTIVE VIRTUE SIGNALING AND SELF-ABSORBED HATRED OF SELF THAT ONLY DESTROYS YOUR LIFE AND WILL PUSH POSITIVE AND HAPPY PEOPLE AWAY FROM YOU. 4. BE OPEN TO OPPORTUNITIES YOU HAVE AND BUILD ON THEM. 5. SEEK OUT OPPORTUNITIES AND DO NOT THROW THEM AWAY DUE TO SELF DEPREDATION OF ABILITY AND ABILITY. 6. DEDICATE PERIODS OF TIME IN DAYS TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF EVEN IN THE FACE OF FIERCE OPPOSITION FROM YOUR INNER CRITIC. 7. TREAT YOURSELF TO THE KINDNESS AND ACCEPTANCE YOU GIVE TO OTHERS IN SPITE OF THE HUMAN FLAWS THEY HAVE AS DO ALL HUMAN BEINGS. 8. RECOGNIZE HUMAN HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE YOU AND ONLY YOU CAN MAKE FOR YOURSELF. 9. SEEK PURPOSE IN YOUR LIFE THROUGH A RELIGIOUS OR SECULAR HUMANISTIC PERSPECTIVE

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

    HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY STABLE AND HAPPY IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE

    In our segments on marriage we have discussed various aspects of marriage. Today we discuss how a spouse lives emotionally stable and happy in a marriage they have decided to stay in for whatever the reason when love is gone. The following techniques can be used to reach this end:  1.DO NOT ALLOW THE LACK OF LOVE IN THE MARRIAGE TO DEFINE YOU.  2.DETACH YOURSELF EMOTIONALLY FROM YOUR SPOUSE. 3.QUIT TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR SPOUSE. 4.FIND SATISFACTION IN PERSONAL ENHANCEMENT,GROUP ACTIVITIES,AND FRIENDSHIPS. 5.LET ANGER,DISILLUSIONMENT,SELF-CRITICISM,HURT,HATE AND EVEN RAGE BE REPLACED WITH THE PEACE THAT COMES FROM ACCEPTING A NEW ROAD AND OPPORTUNITIES IN LIFE. 6.DROP UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS FOR YOURSELF. 7.QUIT FAULTFINDING…The goal is to live as emotionally stable and happy as one can as one lives in a marriage without love. Spiritual and professional support can be very helpful.

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , , , , , , , , , , , ,

    HOW TO STOP THE “WHAT-IFFING WORRYING SYNDROME” FROM BEING A LIFE WRECKER

    To worry is the desire to control something to avoid an undesired outcome. Your anxiety will go up in relation to the amount of your waking hours you are “what-iffing”. The pattern is unfortunately a wheel of never ending anxiety with the following sequence of trying to control something, worrying about it, not able to control it, feeling highly anxious, often losing self-esteem with feelings of lack of control,and then starting on a new worry cycle that  leaves never ending emotional wreckage in its wake. 
    Anxiety that enhances low self-esteem can overwhelm you emotionally  when “what-iffing” about things you cannot control. These would include such things as the economy, climate change, nuclear arms/war,the weather,world famine, the behavior of others,etc. in an endless list that can grow daily. Unfortunately,outcomes for persons afflicted with the “what-iffing anxiety syndrome” are low self-esteem because they have no control over so many things they worry about. They then see themselves as inadequate persons or even bad and flawed human beings. They often try to micromanage themselves and unfortunate persons they interact with as their “what-iffing anxiety syndrome” overwhelms them emotionally. 
    Strategies to overcome the “what-iffing anxiety syndrome” would include clear recognition of what you can and cannot control.  The person must focus emotional and intellectual energies on distinguishing between them. Do not wear other people down emotionally who care for you with your trying to micromanage them. Do not micromanage yourself with unreasonable worries. Make better choices on what you are  going to worry about. With resulting better decision making, you can be happy with far less negative and worrisome thoughts in your head.  A further positive and effective strategy is to set aside 10 to 20 minutes a day for worrying. When you begin to worry at other times of the day, you need to stop it and remind yourself your worrying  time begins at a later time. None of these strategies are easy to do but are important for a person to overcome the horrible psychological damage caused by the “what-ifing anxiety syndrome”. A  quote from the serenity prayer gives great wisdom to  persons suffering from the “what-iffing anxiety syndrome”. It goes as follows:  GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN,AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , , , , ,

    ELEMENTS OF A GOOD PERSON

    Dr John Braccio & Dave Akerly 6-9-20 In the world where too many bad persons think they are good persons and too many good persons believe they are not,it seems worthwhile to come up with a definition of who are the good persons. I do this humbly since persons such as Aristotle and Jesus Christ have eloquently done so. My simple definition would have the following elements: 1.Strive to be fair to others. 2.Strive to be kind to themselves. 3.Strive to have the courage to stand up for what they believe. 4.Strive to control their passions. 5.Strive to be honest in their interactions. 6.Strive to give and accept complements 7.Strive to be reasonable in their expectations for themselves and others…As you can see, my definition is basic but one so many good persons have trouble finding in themselves. On the other hand,I have found persons who are selfish and do not genuinely care for others who amazingly come to the conclusion they are good persons. In the end as I have thought about it,maybe the best definition of good persons are those who strive to follow the “Golden Rule”: DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO Y

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , , , , ,

    Dr. John Braccio speaks Dave Akerly of 1320 AM on WE CANNOT ALLOW EVIL ANARCHISTS TO DISTRACT FROM THE NATION’S COLLECTIVE PAIN AND GRIEF BECAUSE OF THE BRUTAL DEATH OF GEORGE FLOYD

    At a time all Americans are unified in wanting justice in the case of George Floyd,there are those who destroy businesses and other buildings in communities because they are organized anarchists who only want to destroy our society. These are far more dangerous than the disgusting looters and destroyers of property who sadly appear in any crisis. We need to make sure we do not allow anarchists,regardless of whether society defines them as far right or far left,to incite others to riot as well as their planned destabilization practices to have the general population break into warring camps rather than focusing on peaceful demonstrations against the brutal death of George Floyd. I might add I am not justifying illegal and destructive behavior by anyone, but rather focusing on anarchists who thrive in times of confusion and rage. I believe the following quote from the New York Times well states the problem: IN NEW YORK CITY, A SENIOR OFFICIAL SAID ANARCHISTS HAD PLANNED TO START MAYHEM IN THE CITY EVEN BEFORE THE PROTESTS STARTED, USING ENCRYPTED COMMUNICATION TO RAISE BAIL AND TO RECRUIT MEDICS. DURING THE DEMONSTRATIONS THEY MAINTAINED SUPPLY LINES TO DISTRIBUTE GASOLINE, ROCKS, AND BOTTLES, AND ALSO DISPATCHED SCOUTS TO FIND AREAS DEVOID OF POLICE OFFICERS, SAID JOHN MITLER, THE DEPUTY COMMISSIONER IN CHARGE OF THE POLICE DEPARTMENT’S COUNTER-TERRORISM AND INTELLIGENCE EFFORTS.”

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , , , ,

    WHY SPOUSES STAY IN UNSATISFYING AND UNHAPPY MARRIAGES

    Among the happiest of days for most persons is when they get married. Unfortunately,a number of marriages/relationships that were once filled with deep love and caring turn into extreme bitterness or unhappiness. Many of these failing marriages are not the result of an extramarital affair,physical abuse or child abuse. No,they are the result of long term ongoing problems. While they can vary from marriage to marriage,at least some of the following have a dominant force in the failing marriage: 1.LACK OF RESPECT. 2.LACK OF APPRECIATION. 3.NO SEXUALITY AND PHYSICAL INTIMACY. 4.ALWAYS ANNOYED AT THE SPOUSE/PARTNER. 5.CONSTANT ARGUING,BICKERING AND FAULTFINDING. 6.RELATIONSHIP IS TOXIC TO THE EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING. 7.INTIMIDATION AND FEAR. 8.RELIGIOUS BELIEFS OPPOSED TO DIVORCE. MARRIAGE IS SEEN AS A SACRED BOND/VOW BEFORE GOD. 9.DIFFERING RELIGIOUS VIEWS. 10.FUTURE GOALS HAVE CHANGED AND ARE NOT COMPATIBLE FOR THE FUTURE OF THE MARRIAGE. 11.FEAR OF WHAT COULD HAPPEN AFTER A DIVORCE. 12.FINANCIAL CONCERNS. 13.IMPACT ON CHILDREN,CHILDREN CUSTODY CONCERNS AND OVERALL FAMILY RELATIONS. 14.CONTEMPT AND HATRED FOR THE PERSON. 15.DOES NOT FEEL CONNECTED TO THE PERSON. 16.TOGETHER BECAUSE OF HABIT WITHOUT LOVE OTHER THAN CARING FOR THE PERSON. 17.SUBSTANCE ABUSE. 18.HOW TO MANAGE MONEY RANGING FROM WHAT TO SPEND IT ON TO FIGHTING OVER WHAT MONEY BELONGS TO EACH. 19.CHILD REARING PRACTICES. 20.FATIGUE/BOREDOM/HABIT/ROUTINE/NEGLECT. 21.FEELINGS OF GUILT AND SHAME IF THE MARRIAGE FAILS. I have found it amazing over the decades in my work how many unhappy spouses in marriages/relationships have trouble determining what the problems are and how to solve them. They just live in the marriages/relationships and do not determine if/how they can be saved or how to end them. Of course,I always hope marriages can be saved with respectful love reunited in both persons. This can only occur when both persons work very hard to go back to why they fell in love and want to bring it back. Sadly,this is too often not possible. The feelings are too deep.

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts ,

    WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR MANY PEOPLE TO ASK FOR HELP IN DIFFICULT TIMES.

    Persons can feel the problems they have belong alone to them. It is an offshoot of the ALL-SUFFICIENT PERSON, who in reality is a myth. We all need mentors and persons who help us along the road of life. The following is a list of reasons persons will not ask others for help:  1. THE ALL-SUFFICIENT PERSON OF MYTH. 2. I DO NOT WANT TO BOTHER OR BE A BURDEN TO ANYONE. 3. I GOT ME INTO THIS PROBLEM AND NEED TO WORK IT OUT MYSELF. 4. NO ONE WOULD LIKE TO HELF ME. 5.I HAVE ALWAYS HELPED OTHERS AND I WOULD NOT WANT TO SHOW WEAKNESS. 6. PEOPLE WILL SEE MY WEAKNESS AND USE IT TO HUMILIATE ME. 7. I WOULD HATE TO ADMIT PERSONAL FLAWS. 8. I DO NOT WANT TO BE JUDGED NEGATIVELY. 9. FALSE PRIDE. 10. FEAR OF REJECTION. 11. I BELIEVE THE PROBLEM IS TOO BIG FOR SOMEONE TO OFFER HELP. 12.DEPRESSION WHICH CLOUDS ANY POSSIBILITY OF SOMEONE BEING ABLE TO HELP ME. 13. FEAR OF GIVING UP CONTROL OF SOMETHING I CANNOT CONTROL…As a whole, these are all self-defeating beliefs. We all need help at times in our lives and need to accept this. The GOLDEN RULE-DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEN DO UNTO YOU-works both ways. Give people the opportunity to be helpful. It can help both of you.

     

    Direct Download The .mp3

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , , , ,

    HOW THE BETRAYED SPOUSE CAN FORGIVE EXTRAMARITAL BETRAYAL AND SAVE THE MARRIAGE

    This is the third podcast on extramarital affairs. The first podcast was on reasons why partners have affairs and the second was on what the betraying spouse must do to try to save the marriage and love of the spouse. This segment is what the betrayed spouse needs to do to determine to stay in the marriage. As a starting point, the betraying spouse must show total remorse, total honesty, and a full commitment to the spouse and the marriage. If you determine to make an honest attempt to save the marriage, the following are representative of what must occur: 1. Obtain all the facts you need from your partner.  No question is out of bounds. As painful as this is, it is a critical aspect of your healing and ability to move forward. 2. Ongoing discussion about your feelings and what the affair did to you. Use the “I feel” statements rather than the accusatory “You made me feel” statements. 3. Engage in “active listening” where the spouse lets the other get all feelings out in the open with the other spouse quietly listening to fully understand and not respond or challenge the conclusions or statements. This is very hard to do. The offending spouse will need to develop this skill or there will be many heated interactions. You will also need to be able to use active listening to fully understand the betraying spouse. 4.A need for open discussion about the affair to get everything out over an extended period of time. 5. Try to limit the amount of time talking about the affair on a daily basis. Both spouses need conversation and activities separate from the affair. This will be strongly determined by you. 6. Expect many soul searching moments where the emotional pain can return in extreme amounts and you question if you could ever love or trust your spouse again. 7. If both spouses really want the relationship to work and the period of time needed by you to move forward is used by both to save the marriage, then it can occur. Be aware the process will predictably be long and hard on both spouses. The emotional mountains to climb to move forward and understand why and how the extramarital occurred are very difficult to climb but must be done. 8. The amount of time needed to fully commit to saving the marriage varies with the betrayed spouse and can only be determined by that person…I am a positive person. I have worked with many betrayed spouses over the decades who have overcome the horrible betrayal of a spouse and have gone back to loving and successful marriages. Both spouses need to work in overdrive to have this occur. There also is the need during this whole soul-searching time to look at problems that existed prior to the extramarital affair and make sure by both persons that they never occur again and are rooted out in the whole reconciliation process.

     

    Direct Download The .mp3

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , , ,

    WHAT A SPOUSE MUST DO WHO HAS HAD AN EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR TO TRY TO SAVE THE MARRIAGE.

    Due to the immense pain experienced by the spouse who has been forced to recognize their spouse has been unfaithful,it is not surprising it is so difficult for the love and trust to be rekindled. I again want to emphasize how difficult it is for both persons to effectively overcome the betrayal. The following are some suggested actions that predictably are needed to be implemented by the betraying spouse to ever hope to be able to return to a loving relationship:  1.Absolute termination of the affair with proof presented as needed. 2.Genuine remorse. 3.Honesty. Answer all questions over and over again as necessary. 4.Patience, patience and even more patience. It will take a long time and you must expect much anger and hurt directed to you. 5. Take responsibility. You did it! 6. Control your anger. You caused the problems you are having and must deal with the consequences. 7. Become an active listener to try to fully understand the emotional hurt and pain you have caused…These are very difficult things for an individual to do and sadly the result is often failure or both spouses living in a very unhappy or mediocre marriage. You absolutely do not want either of those results. The above suggested actions are necessary if you desire to return to a loving and caring relationship. For emphasis, the damage is sadly often such that the marriage cannot be saved. It also is true that even in relationships that are saved, the passion, understanding, intimacy, loving, and general happiness are often never again fully achieved. With that said, you can be successful in rekindling your relationship if both spouses desire a loving marriage to continue and total honesty and sincere remorse are fully demonstrated to the betrayed spouse.

     

    Direct Download The .mp3

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , , ,

    WHY SPOUSES HAVE EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS

    Let us define an affair as when a spouse/partner has a strong emotional and/or physical relationship with a person outside of the marriage/relationship. Whether blatant or hidden until found out,it is devastating to the other spouse/partner. The duration and intensity of the relationship are factors that relate to the possibility of healing and a couple staying together. Numbers are impossible to know for sure since many if not most persons do not admit they are or have had affairs. The AMERICAN ASSOCIATION FOR MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPY says surveys show percentages having extra-marital affairs are 25% for men and 15% for women. Reasons given for affairs would include the following: 1. lack of sexual satisfaction. 2. lack of sexual activity. 3. desire for sexual and/or emotional satisfaction. 4. desires multiple sexual encounters. 5.obsessive-compulsive sexual behavior.  6. lack of love with spouse. 7. desire for ego-enhancement. 8. curiosity. 9. risk-taking. 10. poor judgment.  11. lack of moral compass/conscience. 12. revenge. 13. anger…An amazing thing I have seen in my work of many years with couples is how often spouses will have extramarital affairs and never try to resolve possible underlying issues in their relationships at home. That is not an excuse but a very surprising element of many extramarital affairs.

     

    Direct Download The .mp3

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , , , ,

    HELP STOP PREDICTABLE INCREASES IN SUICIDE WITH MASSIVE UNEMPLOYMENT AND DISLOCATION IN THE LIVES OF INDIVIDUALS AND FAMILIES DURING THE CORONAVIRUS CRISIS

    A predictable  consequence of unemployment is an increase in suicides. A chilling prediction is that massive unemployment will cause far more suicides than deaths from the Coronavirus  itself. The  isolation many unemployed persons experience who live alone or in mentally unstable homes can  lead to far more suicides. Even though suicide is a very personal decision and one that often cannot be stopped  from occurring even with the greatest of caring and love of involved persons,that is no reason not to try to help persons who believe their lives and themselves are so horrible and hopeless that they choose to end their lives. What can we do? If we are aware of someone suffering due to hardships and depression from losing their jobs and the resulting loss of income, job status,loss of self-esteem and/or living in a toxic environment with no reprieve, we need as caring human beings to try to let the persons know they are loved, things will improve, they are not a burden, we enjoy that they are alive on earth and that you were always be there if they need any support. A haunting quotation from Robin Williams will save you from reading many thousands of words on suicide: “All it takes is a beautiful false smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you really are.”

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , ,

    THE NEED FOR DOMESTIC TRANQUILITY IN HOMES DURING THE QUARANTINE DUE TO THE CORONAVIRUS

    An unintended negative consequence of our current quarantine is family/child/spousal emotional and/or physical abuse. To ignore these potential problems is doing a great disservice to the emotional and physical needs of many of our societal family members. We need to be promoting that family members in homes be tolerant and work on good communication during these times when everyone is forced to live in often small living quarters. Even the most tolerant of persons can become frustrated when interacting with persons and feeling a lack of space and understanding. I am finding in persons I talk to, even if from stable homes, that it can be frustrating to be living with a lot of people in the home all the time. We all need to be supportive of our family members and friends we fear may be having turmoil at home. Since we currently cannot visit persons in other homes, this needs to be done by phone, FaceTime, Duo, Zoom or whatever means you use to communicate with others. It also is important for persons to know in need of therapy that during this crisis most insurance companies are allowing sessions to be offered without physically coming into offices. Even though, and hopefully will not happen often, calling 911 will be necessary when there is physical violence in the home. A safe plan is necessary to leave the home if there is fear of violence. I am aware that in most homes people will be able to weather the crisis and move on to a time when the Coronavirus is nothing but a bad memory. I simply want to make a point of the problems that are occurring, hopefully not in enormous frequency, and to be supportive as best we can to persons that are living in difficult and even dangerous situations. 

     

    Direct Download The .mp3

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , , ,

    A CELEBRATION OF SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGES

    My wife and I celebrated our 45th wedding anniversary on Sunday in our home with pizza from Boston’s Pizza because of the Coronavirus. We will never forget this anniversary!  For a change of pace from our recent segments on the Coronavirus, Dave and I discuss – A CELEBRATION OF SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGES.  Key elements of successful marriages would include many of the following characteristics: 1. gratitude for each other. 2. mutual respect. 3. enhance the self-esteem of each other. 4. build a lifetime of wonderful experiences and memories with each other. 5. healthy intimacy. 6.be constructively critical in a productive manner.  7. staying together is always the goal when there are solvable problems. 8. accept individual differences of opinion. to disagree is okay. 9. grow as a couple in common interests and goals as the years accumulate. 10. have honest and open conversations. 11. be happy with life and not be sad by focusing on what you do not have. 12. practice forgiveness with each other. 13.further develop your spirituality or moral code over the course of the relationship…A loving and enduring marriage is a blessing and something to celebrate. This is not said in anyway to demean single or divorced persons who also make great contributions to our society.

     

    Direct Download The .mp3

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , ,

    KEEPING YOUR SANITY AND PATIENCE DURING THE CORONAVIRUS CRISIS IN YOUR HOME/APARTMENT

    1.Work on tolerance and patience for those around you. 2.Begin learning a new language or skill set. 3.Further develop your spiritual/moral self. 4.Watch movies,youtube and TV programs that  bring you joy and satisfaction. 5.Start a journal to leave a permanent record of what you were doing and thinking during the CORONAVIRUS CRISIS. 6.Learn the rules to games you may want to learn that you never learned. 7.Listen to music that is both uplifting and enjoyable. 8.Calm yourself with some combination of meditation,self-hypnosis,relaxation,deep breathing,yoga and pilates. 9.Call family and friends,old and new,to be uplifting for you and them. 10.Moderately  play computer and non-computer games. 11.Use the internet to find things of interest to help with potential boredom. 12.Read that book you were going to read or reread right now. 13.Family projects. 14.Do whatever is helpful to you during  this difficult period.

     

    Direct Download The .mp3

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , ,

    PROBLEMS THAT CAN OCCUR IN THE HOME DURING THE CORONAVIRUS CRISIS

    We have learned in times of crisis that spousal abuse,child abuse,drug abuse and suicide will rise. Family members need to understand these potential problem areas and work as a team to overcome them. Tolerance;understanding and planning are critical.by spouses as a crucial starting point so both of them and by extension their children can live with peace and loving security in difficult times like we are in now. Single parents have the great burden of keeping themselves in good mental health in order to help their children best adapt to a time they may be in fear,not in school and away from many of their friends and even family members. At a general helpful level,all of us can try to be kind and do acts of kindness for those we know are having a hard time. From a positive perspective,,this period of family members being together for extended periods of time can lead to bonding they have not experienced recently or maybe never.

     

    Direct Download The .mp3

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts ,

    INOCULATE YOURSELF FROM “EMOTIONALLY CONTAGIOUS VIRUSES

    As those of us in the United States and around the world are fighting against the highly contagious Coronavirus, we also need to take safety measures to protect ourselves from “emotionally contagious viruses”. From our earliest days of life we have been impacted strongly by the people and circumstances of our environment.  We in effect all receive and give emotions by simply living our lives and interacting with others. The power of modeling is so underestimated for the power it has over all of us to various degrees all our lives. Social media has added a whole new dimension to picking up and giving strong emotions to others.  We actually learn from observing others how to behave. Like the old adage, WHEN IN ROME DO AS THE ROMANS DO. This can be positive or negative. Anger is an emotion heavily influenced by observing other persons and learning that it can be effective at least in the short run. Expressing love and affection are further examples of what others have modeled and we learned to understand and effectively express. It is evident we tend to be happy and more satisfied when around positive persons as compared to when we are with negative and sad persons. The key to not getting an “emotionally contagious virus” is to be as positive as we can be and stay away from persons who are negative and toxic to our happiness. The more we can be content with who we are will positively impact on our ability to not be impacted negatively by those who are negative and destructive to us emotionally.

     

    Direct Download The .mp3

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , , ,

    HOW TO OVERCOME SIBLING RIVALRY AND CONFLICTS GROWING UP THAT EXTEND INTO ADULTHOOD.

    We all remember sibling issues in our homes or in those of relatives or friends. That they extend into adulthood and often for life is actually quite common. That often neither person has a desire to rectify the problem is unfortunate. A relatively large number of my clients and even friends report significant sibling issues. Common issues are as follows:  1.Control. 2.Bullying verbally and/or physically. 3.Sibling(s) unwilling to relinquish old roles. 4.Preferred or favored. 5.Manipulative. 6.Liar. 7.Brat. 8.Financial and/or inheritance…Ways a sibling can try to overcome these problem areas on the possible road to a good sibling relationship would include the following: 1.Reach out and start a positive dialogue. 2.Apologize for whatever your sibling believes you have done. You can do this even if you do not fully believe you are in the wrong. 3.Accept differences. 4.Focus on similarities and common ground. 5.Reminisce on mutually positive memories. 6.Build new memories for hopefully a positive sibling relationship for the rest of your lives…Be aware your attempt to repair a damaged sibling relationship may not be successful. If you feel the reward of a positive sibling relationship is worth it,then give it a try.

     

    Direct Download The .mp3

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts ,

    WAYS TO GET MORE JOY OUT OF EVERYDAY SEEMINGLY COMMON EVENTS IN YOUR LIFE

    An unfortunate aspect of everyday life is that too many of us do not get joy out of many seemingly common events that make it up. We just pass them by and do not enjoy them.  The following are some things to do to get more joy out of your day in small segments:  1.SLOW DOWN AND SMELL THE COFFEE is a good explanation of enjoying life and not rushing through it. 2.To stop for a moment more to smell the coffee or the fragrance of a rose are better examples of our topic today.3.It is the relishing and extending positive things you encounter and not just pass over them. 4.Add some seconds or more of joy to small segments of each day. 5.At a thinking level,relish positive thoughts that come into your mind for more than a brief second. 6.On negative thoughts,kick them out as soon as you can. 7.A further positive thing to do is replace a negative thought with a positive one and enjoy it…The overall goal is to add joy to our lives daily as we relish positive things and thoughts in our everyday lives and spend little time on negative ones.

     

    Direct Download The .mp3

    braccioj Blog, Podcasts , , ,

    FEARS THAT STOP PEOPLE FROM FULFILLING THEIR GOALS AND DREAMS

    Fears that stop people from fulfilling their goals and dreams would include the following:  1.Feelings of inadequacy. 2.Fear of change. 3.Fear of failure. 4.Indecisiveness. 5.”The Imposter Phenomenon”. 6.Fear of uncertainty. 7.Fear of rejection. 8.Fear of being lonely. 9.Fear of never being prepared leads to no upward movement in life…A key to success in life in not letting fears overtake us emotionally and not allow us to fulfill our goals and dreams. We can never get back a day we have wasted. CARPE DIEM—SEIZE THE DAY! 

     

    Direct Download The .mp3