Question
Dr.Braccio: I find anger over time is seeping into my life karatay escort more and more. I’m negative and so many things bother me. My wife and mother, who lives with us, recently told me they’re sick of my negative attitude, fault finding and anger about everything. I went to our adult son and his wife to talk about this. They both agreed and said I need to loosen up, socialize more, seek the positive in life, quit fault finding and throw out the anger. I talked to my boss and he thinks I’m both angry and depressed. Everyone thinks I have a problem. I do admit I’m not happy and can be a faultfinder and very negative person. I would like to change and be happy. What’s going on here and what should I do?
Answer
You are an angry and negative person. These attitudes also make you depressed. You can begin to change by being more optimistic and positive. As the old saying goes, the optimist and pessimist have the same frequency of error, but the optimist is so much happier. In the middle of the storm, the optimist imagines the glorious sun that will shortly shine forth or even the beautiful rainbow that can follow a storm. The pessimist cannot enjoy a sparkling sunny day because he or she knows the clouds and rain are coming.
Remember that attitudes are choices we make about how to interpret our life. One can see the rainstorm as preparing the earth for the wondrous corn that will grow so we can eat and live or as a nuisance to make us uncomfortable and unable to enjoy the day.
Even though your negative outlook will be hard to change, you can do it by making some changes in how you interpret things and your reaction to life. For example, try to find something to compliment in someone you would normally find fault with.
Recognize that the important people in your life are all saying the same thing about you and you are not disagreeing.
Build on your desire “to change” and “be happy”. Know you have the ability to do it and the job is half done. Then always remind yourself of how unhappy you were the day you decided to change and enjoy every happy moment you have by being positive.
Communicate effectively and positively by listening to what others say and being sensitive to what is important to them and trying to understand their outlooks. This can create tolerance by having you try to walk in the shoes of someone else. All those around you will enjoy being with you.
Reach out to your mother, wife, son, daughter-in-law, boss and anyone else you are connected by love or friendship and ask them to help you as you change from an angry, faultfinding, negative and possibly depressed person to an open, sensitive, happy and understanding person. Just the thought of what you will become can be seen as an exciting voyage.
You might consider a full physical to determine if part of your problem could be chemical. If so, an antidepressant might be helpful in addition to the positive new approach you will take to your life and attitudes.
Any questions or comments would be appreciated.