November 9, 2021 EMOTIONAL PAIN RESULTING FROM A “FALSE GUILT COMPLEX” To feel guilty when having done something wrong to another person or even letting oneself down from doing what one made a commitment to do is reasonable, but to feel guilty and often emotionally overwhelmed for something someone has not done is how I would define a false guilt complex. Examples would include the following: 1. Feeling guilty and emotionally drained as a caregiver for a loved one when one feels their needs cannot be met. This is a very common problem in this age as we live longer and there can be tremendous pressure on spouses and family members to look after their loved ones but feel guilty when their own needs are not met and they are overwhelmed by their responsibilities. 2. Feeling bad due to the success you are having when someone else is not being successful. 3. Having thoughts that one considers amoral and/or wrong that make them feel evil and/or someone not living up to their unreasonable moral code. 4. Being convinced one is bad and not doing enough for other persons. 5. Replaying negative tapes from the person’s youth that they were not a good person and would never be a good person. 6. A firm belief one is morally inferior to others and can never live up to their own expectations. 7. The belief one is always offending persons in the interactions they have with others and cannot be convinced they have not done this even if persons say directly to them that there has been nothing offensive said. 8. The belief one is so bad/evil that no one could ever love or care for them…If one does not overcome their false guilt complex, they can never be happy because of their ingrained belief of how bad they are. The false guilt complex can lead to such problems as low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, tearfulness, phobias, panic attacks, physical problems, and even self-hate. Due to how ingrained these beliefs can be in the person, success in overcoming them is very difficult. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is when a person replaces these irrational thoughts with positive thoughts. This is a good way to try to overcome the false guilt complex. A trained therapist and sometimes clergy are professionals who can be helpful in treatment.