June 4, 2024- STOP BEING A CONTROL FREAK- Even though there is no psychological diagnosis for a control freak, it is a term people understand and it is clearly used to identify persons who try to control every aspect of many if not most things in their lives. We tend to think about the havoc they cause the persons they interact with as they tend to deal them out of possible joint activities or demand they behave exactly as the control freak states. Control freaks are often the result of high-levels of anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of failure, personality disorders, perfectionism and a clear overriding desire to control all aspects of a situation. Often when experiencing interactions with the control freak trying to control all aspects of a project or even a person’s life, it can be very frustrating. It also can create great anger and either damage or destroy relationships with people. The point here is to recognize that control freaks are often not happy and desire control over activities to make up for inadequacies they do not see in themselves but falsely see in others. If you are a control freak and desire to end the unhappiness that accompanies the need for total control, the following are things you can do to overcome this type of behavior: 1. Determine why you do it. Find the reason. Is it control, reducing anxiety, fear of failure, need to dominate, perfectionism, etc.? 2. Be aware of what you were thinking and self reflect on what you are doing and saying when you go into control freak mode. 3. Be aware of those around you and accept the negative impact your controlling ways are having on them and your relationships. 4.Talk to friends, associates and family to determine how they see you and get suggestions from them on how you might become more reasonable and less controlling. They may genuinely care for you and want to help you. 5. Make it a priority to bring others into the decision making process and implementation. 6. Move forward at a pace you feel comfortable but clearly moving forward. 7. Eliminate controlling and even demeaning vocabulary from your speech. 8. You can seek out a trained and experienced therapist to help you get over your control freak ways as you feel that would be helpful.