Question
Dr.Braccio: I’ve been married briefly two times and had one silifke eskort ilanları child with each husband. They drifted into my life and then drifted out. They have had nothing to do with me or my daughters. The marriages were disasters. I’ve committed my life to my daughters and they’re both out of college, married with children, and very happy. We’re close but they both live in California. Even though I could retire, I’m still working and feel at a loss about what to do with my life. I’ve no husband and my parents, who have been a great support to us, are thinking of moving to Florida. Because of my experiences, I don’t trust men and don’t allow them beyond an emotional security wall. So even though I badly yearn for a relationship, I don’t’ think the wall is going to come down. I have pushed various men away. I could move to California to be near my daughters or move to Florida with my parents. Either way I’d feel like a burden. But I’d be so lonely here alone. I’m an only child with no family here besides my parents. They all say that it’s time to retire and move and quit thinking so much. What do you think?
Answer
Your emotional plate is filled. The bad marriages have soured you on men and that does not allow you to open your heart and try to find a loving partner. The success of your daughters has to give you great pride about your parenting; however, their being so far away takes some glow off the success. The moving of your parents to Florida also causes some turmoil because you would be alone.
To retire is a major life activity. If you retire when you are not ready, you could be very unhappy and resentful of your choice. You need to prepare to retire and determine what you will do with your life. For example, to begin a second career or take up a hobby you have always had interest in are some options.
Since you have no ties here, it would make sense to at least consider retiring and moving to Florida or California. You are obviously loved and your parents and children would like you near them. To be near persons who love us and we love is critical in this often cold world.
You need to try through self-examination to determine what went wrong in your marriages and clearly determine the type of person to stay away from. You then can determine the type of person you match up well with. Obvious characteristics would be an honest and caring person who treats you as well as you will treat him.
Regardless of where you live, you might seek out some professional support to help you tear down the “emotional security wall” that no longer seems to have purpose other than to keep you alone with no chance of finding a loving partner. Do not let the early bad experiences defer you from finding a life partner.
Any questions or comments would be appreciated.