Question
Dr.Braccio: My husband and I believe anamur bayan escort honesty is the most important quality to judge a person by. Our ten and twelve year old children are generally truthful but do lie a bit about completing chores as we request and completing their homework. They try to minimize the lies and we probably maximize them. What do you think?
Answer
I believe that “honesty is the best policy”. I also agree with you about the importance of honesty. In fact, the stature of a person is greatly diminished if we cannot believe what they say.
You cannot maximize the inappropriateness of lying. Persons can only be judged by their integrity; and honesty is the core element.
As parents, we must model honesty and demand it of our children. To do otherwise is ineffective parenting and ultimately will hurt their relationships with others. Let them know the punishment will be far more severe for lying than for whatever they did not do.
Do not listen to those who say all children lie about such things and to ignore it. To do that is both ineffective parenting and an invitation to add new areas to lie about. Lying is flat out unacceptable in a home and everywhere else.
Human nature is such that if one does not stop negative behaviors, they become ingrained into our personalities. It also is true that lying is easy to develop and deceptively hard to eliminate. You simply need to think of liars you know that even though their lying hurts or destroys their relationship with others, they persist in their self-defeating behaviors.
“To lie” is not a trait one wants because the end result is have no true friends and low self-esteem. Friendship, love, spirituality, and a healthy marriage are impossible for persons who lie to each other.
A problem the best of parents seems to have is to decide which lies are important and not important. Live by the rule that all lies are important and unacceptable.
Even if we live in an age where lying under certain circumstances is seen as acceptable, let your home be a place where honesty thrives and grows so your children can be models of honesty for themselves and their peers.