Question:
Dr.Braccio: I am struggling with moving my fourth and fifth grade anamur eskort kızlar children to a school where my husband’s two other children go to school. They are accepted as school of choice students but I feel like I’m deserting some parents who don’t have my choice for one reason or another. The problem has been there for years. We’ve consistently seen a few students in each class throughout the school be disrespectful to teachers and cause problems on the playground. The teachers see the problems but are powerless. The principal has promised over and over again to make changes but never does. We even went over her head but to no avail. She has even told us to be sensitive to these children. I’m not the first parent to leave and will not be the last. My husband says it makes sense to have the children together, but I feel guilty. For their part, my children are more than ready to move. They do not like the disrespect either. That is not how I’ve raised them. What do you think?
Answer:
Ultimately, a parent’s responsibility is to attempt to make sure the children go to a school where not only academic excellence is expected and taught, but also that the students are expected to respect adults, each other, and most certainly, the teacher.
While I have respect for parochial and other non-public schools for their success, I believe the public school is the cornerstone upon which our society is built. I also believe that the vast majority of teachers are excellent and continue to forge our ever changing and growing population into productive and giving United States citizens. The key is that they be allowed to teach in a good educational environment where learning can flourish.
With that said, if you are not satisfied where your children attend school, and feel there is a chronic lack of respect for teachers and students, and you have actively tried to change things, then to go to another public school that reflects your educational outlook seems reasonable.
That your children and husband support the change is positive as well as that all the children will go to school together.
If you and other parents are leaving the school due to a perceived lack of administrative control, hopefully the principal and/or school district will make necessary changes. In this day of tight school budgets, a district must do all it can to retain and even attract other students.
While I agree with the principal that you need to be sensitive to the problems of students in your school, I would argue the responsibility of the principal is to all students and that classrooms must have respectful and controlled environments. To argue otherwise is very poor educational policy.
To be sensitive to those students does not include the need to tolerate unacceptable, anti-social behaviors and/or attitudes from them. Sensitively includes compassion, but it does not exclude justice.
I also would argue the principal needs to find interventions and strategies to address disrespectful and disruptive students in the classroom and on the playground. This can include the individual or joint efforts of the school counselor, school social worker, school psychologist, principal, teachers, central office staff or outside experts working with all involved persons.
You obviously have guilt and mixed feelings about moving your children to a new school. To have mixed feelings under the circumstances would be reasonable; however, guilt is not reasonable because you are doing this with the goal of enhancing the educational opportunity of your children. It also is true this problem has been in place for some years and you are still not satisfied there is an honest attempt to solve it. That all four children will be in the same school is also a positive.
It appears that you have exercised your reasonable options to effect changes toward a more acceptable environment for your children. Perhaps it’s not guilt you feel as much as your own sense of powerlessness in this situation. Don’t expend any more of your precious, personal energy on emotions that will avail nothing. As you are now, continue to promote positive educational change for your children that will enhance the happiness and self-esteem of the whole family.