Question:
Dr.Braccio: I mersin anamur escort bayanları feel overwhelmed by life. I’m a thirty year old wife, mother of an eight and nine year old and a professional woman. The problem is that I have so much internal pressure from all these areas. My children need to see more of me personally and at their events, my husband, who is a teacher and has more time than I do, does not have much quality time with me, and my boss is putting more and more pressure on me to work more as we push a big long term project. I don’t know what to do. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. My parents tell me to look for a new job and place my priorities in order. To them, family must come first. My husband is patient but says things must change and more or less says the same thing as my parents. I feel torn from all sides. What should I do?
Answer:
You need to thoughtfully prioritize your life. You must more effectively balance the needs of children, husband, family, and work. I would agree with your parents and husband. The children/ marriage/family needs must take priority over work. Most specifically, because you brought the children into the world and they did not ask to come, the children need to be your first priority. To have a good marriage is critical for their well being as well as the happiness of you and your husband.
Work appears to be the pressure area that needs to be put under control. The demands are causing the conflict within you about the amount of time you are spending with the children and your husband.
You will be very upset with yourself in the future if your choice about work sours your marriage and does not allow you to be intimately involved in all the exciting events in the lives of your children. Sharing such things as parent and family are among the great joys this life has to give.
The choices you would seem to have about work would be as follows:
1. Not change and try to better manage conflicts as they exist today.
2. Work “shorter” hours and take more control over your work.
3. Meet with your boss to discuss what time you can realistically put into your job.
4. Take a demotion, as hard as that might be, to have better mental health and more time with your husband and children.
5. Determine if your husband could take some time off work or work part-time if you could do it financially and you are willing not to spend that much time with your husband and children. He would then spend more and more time with the children and clearly become the primary child rearing parent.
6. Seek out a new job that will give you more time for you to be with your husband and children.
If you choose to quit your job or take a demotion, do it because your heart is filled with love for your children and husband and not out of guilt and frustration. This is said even though such a decision will be painful.
Something must give somewhere. It simply seems reasonable to not sacrifice human beings, your children and husband, over a job. Millions of scattered and broken families have resulted when mothers and fathers have allowed work to destroy their family relationships.
It is important to also be aware that these extremes of stress increase your susceptibility to disease. These stressors harshly take their toll on the human body as well as your social emotional relationships.
If you have a sense of spirituality, you may find, as do millions, that prayer can help solve problems.
The best is wished to you with the awareness any decision you make will be difficult.