Hello Everyone!
Parents regularly call me and meet with me because of problems with their children.It is important mersin eskort to know that the best of parents have problems with teaching responsibility to their children. This is a response to a question to me about children learning responsibility.
Question
Dr. Braccio: Even though our 9 and 10 year old children are usually polite and helpful to others, they don’t have a sense of responsibility in our home. We have to ask them to do what we want until we’re blue in the face. They behave as if we’re torturing them when we ask them to help out in the house. Whether it’s cleaning their rooms, which sometimes look like a tornado hit them, or taking out the trash, they have no initiative to help. Sometime we do it ourselves just to avoid an argument. What did we do wrong? What can we do to develop a sense of responsibility in them? We hope it’s not too late.
Answer
You have not created a home where your children are expected to do what you want. It is never too late to start developing responsibility in children, though, it simply makes it harder when you start when they are 9 and 10.
The fact they “are usually polite and helpful to others” is positive and how they simply need to learn to be responsible at home.
Responsibility does not just happen. It’s important for the two of you to demonstrate responsibility. Also, your expectations should be age-appropriate. It would be helpful to have a predictable daily and weekly list of chores. To help remind your children, put the list in a prominent place, such as on the refrigerator door.
Praise and encourage them when they do what you expect, and have appropriate and consistent punishment when they do not. Privileges, allowances and other special family benefits need to be withheld when they are not meeting their home responsibilities.
It is important that they not only know what is expected of them, but most importantly, why it is important they develop a sense of responsibility. This may be a hard sell initially, but with patience and persistence they will become responsible.
The goal is for them to take ownership of what they must do. Even though you are starting late, begin right away and move with confidence. You will succeed in developing a sense of home responsibility in them if you do not waver in your age- appropriate expectations.
Questions?
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