cheating Archives - Page 3 of 3 - Regional Psychological Services

Oct 19, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

BEHAVIORS OF HUMAN PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATORS

On 10-13-2020 Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss BEHAVIORS OF HUMAN PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATORS The caring and trusting human being is the perfect victim for the psychological manipulator. The manipulator has no sense of right or wrong and only wants to dominate and cause psychological havoc in the victim. The goal is to be on top and always right. They prey on human weakness and can through their negative human cunning lead persons to be confused on long-held beliefs. They even can convince persons to change on beliefs that are critical to good self-esteem and ethical living. Good human interaction on ideas and beliefs are critical for persons to change as their lives unfold…Typical behaviors of the psychological manipulator would include the following: 1.Guilt. 2.Find your weaknesses and use them against you. 3.Undermine your self-confidence by convincing you of how you are so flawed. 4.Convince you that you are always wrong. 5.Never offers respect and caring except to deviously use as manipulative psychological tactics. 6. Deceitfully talks negatively about you with your friends and associates to undermine your relationships. Amazingly, some human psychological predators are so effective they succeed at this. 7.They love the psychological havoc they cause and never stop until they no longer can be successful at it. When that happens, they look for the next victim…The best defense is developing good self-esteem and surrounding yourself with trusted friends and family who can help you not fall under what appears to be a psychological spell that sadly is cast over you. Priests, ministers and therapists can be helpful when friends and family are not available or the power over you does not allow you to regain psychological control over self. The road to recovery can be long and difficult.

Oct 1, 2020 braccioj Blog 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio discuss with Dave Akerly WHEN SILENCE IS GOLDEN.

SEPTEMBER 29, 2020

WHEN SILENCE IS GOLDEN. We live in an age of talkers whether it is IN-PERSON, TELEVISION, MEDIA, EMAILS, TWITTER,iPhones, FACEBOOK, FACETIME, MESSAGING, DUO, ZOOM, and on and on in an always changing endless stream. In such an age, there are many times that the metaphor of GOLDEN with SILENCE rings true. Included are times when active listening, good communication, understanding, sensitivity, tolerance, intelligence, and intuition lead us to realize when SILENCE IS GOLDEN. It is amazing how many people to their own detriment never learn this.

Oct 1, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio Discusses with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM STOP SELF-SABOTAGING YOURSELF- 9-22-20

STOP SELF-SABOTAGING YOURSELF Too many people let small setbacks in their daily lives result in the proverbial “thousand cuts” that will stop them from fulfilling their overall goals. The most common of these would include breaking a diet,having a cigarette,or not exercising because of a failure on a given day. People too often after a brief failure go back to the default behaviors that need to be eliminated. We must say as the British have said- “rubbish”-and go back to our original plan. These small self-sabotaging setbacks too often are representative of the person’s overall behaviors and carry over to bigger life goals. These include education,spirituality/moral development,relationship building, career advancement training and behaviors,happiness seeking, and other life altering activities because of a setback that discourages them from going forward and self-sabotages their dreams and goals. Even in the midst of difficulties and seemingly extremely difficult challenges, we must keep our eye on the ball and not self-sabotage our future. Those who persevere in life need not be the smartest but they clearly work the hardest to achieve their dreams and goals and do not let defeats stop them. Rather than self-sabotaging,we must see a temporary defeat not as final but something to learn from and not do again. Life can be a very exciting experience if we look upon daily activities and challenges as exciting new tasks to successfully accomplish. To not do this can lead to an unhappy life because of self-sabotaging behaviors and always wondering what could have happened in their lives if they had consistently pursued their dreams and goals.

Sep 18, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio Discusses with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM DEVELOPING RESILIENCE DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 9-15-20

DEVELOPING RESILIENCE DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC. More and more people are reporting anxiety, depression, even suicide, substance abuse, family conflicts, work-related problems, and obsessive-compulsive behavior resulting as the devastation of the Covid-19 pandemic extends over more and more time. It is critical during this ongoing crisis to not let it wear down your resiliency like a battery gradually going dead. This is when people develop what can often be severe mental health conditions as well as substance abuse. What persons need to do is get enough sleep, be hydrated, exercise, focus on what is positive in their lives, further develop spiritual and/or moral purpose in their lives, finding a new normal and enjoyment in it, seek out professional help as needed, think positively and kick out negative thoughts, continue social interactions with friends and family, be tolerant in the home and in other social settings, develop more in-home hobbies and/or educational options, and recognize the pandemic will end and you want to come out of it as mentally and physically healthy as possible. It will occur if you follow some of these suggestions as well as others you find to specifically be helpful for you.

Sep 11, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss INTIMATE COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGES REQUIRES A WILLINGNESS TO BE VULNERABLE TO POSSIBLE BETRAYAL AND/OR INDIFFERENCE

INTIMATE COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGES REQUIRES A WILLINGNESS TO BE VULNERABLE TO POSSIBLE BETRAYAL AND/OR INDIFFERENCE Fear of betrayal and/or indifference are mayor reasons people choose not to share deep feelings about themselves. They may have never learned how to trust or when they did people used the information as a tool to hurt them,including telling other people their deepest secrets that were only to be shared with that person. In a marriage,particularly during the time of the pandemic when couples and families are often in a lockdown mode for large periods of time,this can be a time to try to rekindle old feelings and share deep inner thoughts. Often,the couple has simply stopped sharing deep feelings due to the routine of everyday life taking over. If so,go back to the beginning and start anew. With couples or individual spouses who have never shared but have working marriages,take the risk and begin sharing deep feelings. It can be scary and difficult,but the emotional rewards can be overwhelmingly positive as the marriage accelerates into a merging of two person’s feelings into one. Someone needs to take the risk to begin. Why not you? Taking into account the wondrous possibilities for personal growth and love enhancement,why not start the process today? It may be awkward to begin,but the bountiful possible rewards to the marriage make it all very worthwhile. As the old Pepsi add proclaimed: GO FOR THE GUSTO!

Sep 1, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly on 1320 AM discuss REASONS SPOUSES SABOTAGE THE DREAMS AND GOALS OF EACH OTHER.

It is unfortunate how often spouses, even those who genuinely love each other, sabotage the dreams and goals of each other. Reasons would include the following: Wanting more control. Competition. Lack of security. Control over family finances. Wants more attention. Lack of trust. Dislike of roles and a desire to change them. Jealousy. Differing views on lifestyle. Anger. Inability to effectively problem solve. Getting even for perceived unfairness or disliked behavior. Deviousness. Dishonesty. Parenting differences. Strong disagreements on who controls specific aspects of the marriage. Disagreements on responsibilities. Friendships. Spirituality or lack thereof…The ability for spouses to be able to discuss these and other problem areas and eliminate them through a combination of honest soul searching, active listening, non-judgmental interaction, and genuine compromise in problem-solving mode is critical to success.

Aug 25, 2020 braccioj Blog 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly Discuss NOT ALLOWING PILES OF STONES TO STOP YOU FROM CLIMBING THE MOUNTAINS OF YOUR DREAMS 8-25-20

Life is made up of opportunities and obstacles. With the right mindset,this combination can make life exhilarating or very stressful and unfulfilling. We need to see obstacles as opportunities for resolution rather than insolvable problems that stop us from moving forward to meet our dreams. Do not realize as your life is marching on that your lack of fulfillment as a human being is because you have always taken the easy way out and never have realized your dreams which were within reach with the right attitude and dedication. If this is true with you,do not focus on lost opportunities. They are gone. You must now bring forth new dreams and chase them with resolute commitment and effort. Highly happy and successful people regularly state they loved the road travelled to achieve their dreams as much as the dreams themselves. Dreams vary with the person. They can range from being a business tycoon or major political figure to completing a certificate of achievement for self-fulfillment.

Aug 20, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio speaks with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM on HUGE DEPRESSION INCREASE CAUSED BY THE PANDEMIC

Dr John & Dave Akerly 8-18-20 HUGE DEPRESSION INCREASE CAUSED BY THE PANDEMIC One need not be a psychologist to see the emotional havoc caused by the pandemic in so many people we interact. The most current and immediate crisis aspect of the pandemic is how to educate our children at all levels ranging from pre-school to the university. Recent information from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention(CDC) is almost shocking even while seeing daily the fears so many Americans have as well as those around the world. The rates of symptoms for Depression have increased 400 percent from a year ago in responses to a survey. Not far behind is Anxiety with a 300 percent increase. In addition to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy(CBT) and appropriate medication,the following are some strategies to use to overcome Depression. 1.Notice the heroes who work every day to make our lives livable. 2.Think positive scenarios to stories/fantasies/thoughts that come to our mind. Be a positive storyteller to ourselves. 3.Reach out physically—safely —,visually or by phone to get human contact. We are social animals and need this. 4.Find ways to help others and not focus on self. Depression makes it hard to focus on anything outside of one’s own suffering. 5.Look for things to enjoy in the moment to overcome negative thoughts and feelings. 6.Get up and do something physically! Just taking a walk can be most helpful. Depression often leads to inactivity which is breeding ground for the negative symptoms of Depression that can overwhelm a person. 7.Develop psychologically supportive spirituality consistent with your beliefs.

Jul 7, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr John & Dave Akerly 7-7-20 THE PSYCHOLOGICAL DEVASTATION OF PARENTAL ALIENATION ON CHILDREN

A study from some years ago says 11-15% of divorces result in some form of parental alienation. Even if the numbers are smaller,anyone who has seen the severe psychological damage done to children when they experience parental alienation and/or when they are adults,the damage is clear. It is severe child abuse. Children want to love and be loved by both parents. It is confusing and psychologically damaging to the child when taught to hate a good parent while constantly hearing everything bad about him or her. This hatred can be extended to all friends and family members of the alienated parent. Such alienation can lead to self-contempt for being the child of someone so horrible. Depression,low self-esteem,anxiety,PTSD,future alienation from their own children,poor relationships,divorces,substance abuse/alcoholism,abandonment issues,unable to trust,unable to love,guilt-ridden,weak personal boundaries and long term inappropriate personal hated for a parent who may have been a loving parent…This is not a pretty picture. I have seen a lot of horrible parental alienation behavior to know all of us need to do whatever we can to not allow it to happen. The psychological devastation to the alienated children can carry on for generations with poor interactions with their children and partner relationships. School personnel,family members,judges,friends of the court,clergy,therapists and friends of the alienating parent can all try to help stop the alienating process. It is very difficult but we all can try with hopefully some success.

Jun 30, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

HOW TO DEVELOP A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF WHEN ALL YOU FIND ARE NEGATIVES

6-30-20 Dr John Braccio and Dave Akerly on 1320 AM WILS discuss HOW TO DEVELOP A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF WHEN ALL YOU FIND ARE NEGATIVES

When thinking of building stronger relationships, we usually think of them pertaining to couples or maybe friendships, families, working persons, or groups of one type or another. That eliminates the arguably most important relationship one has: The one with yourself. The following are some suggestions that can be helpful: 1. STOP SHAMING YOURSELF WITH SENSELESS NEGATIVITY. 2. NOONE HAS DIED COMPLAINING THEY WERE TOO HAPPY AND POSITIVE IN LIFE. JOIN THIS GROUP FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 3. STOP SELF-DESTRUCTIVE VIRTUE SIGNALING AND SELF-ABSORBED HATRED OF SELF THAT ONLY DESTROYS YOUR LIFE AND WILL PUSH POSITIVE AND HAPPY PEOPLE AWAY FROM YOU. 4. BE OPEN TO OPPORTUNITIES YOU HAVE AND BUILD ON THEM. 5. SEEK OUT OPPORTUNITIES AND DO NOT THROW THEM AWAY DUE TO SELF DEPREDATION OF ABILITY AND ABILITY. 6. DEDICATE PERIODS OF TIME IN DAYS TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF EVEN IN THE FACE OF FIERCE OPPOSITION FROM YOUR INNER CRITIC. 7. TREAT YOURSELF TO THE KINDNESS AND ACCEPTANCE YOU GIVE TO OTHERS IN SPITE OF THE HUMAN FLAWS THEY HAVE AS DO ALL HUMAN BEINGS. 8. RECOGNIZE HUMAN HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE YOU AND ONLY YOU CAN MAKE FOR YOURSELF. 9. SEEK PURPOSE IN YOUR LIFE THROUGH A RELIGIOUS OR SECULAR HUMANISTIC PERSPECTIVE

Jun 23, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY STABLE AND HAPPY IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE

In our segments on marriage we have discussed various aspects of marriage. Today we discuss how a spouse lives emotionally stable and happy in a marriage they have decided to stay in for whatever the reason when love is gone. The following techniques can be used to reach this end: 1.DO NOT ALLOW THE LACK OF LOVE IN THE MARRIAGE TO DEFINE YOU. 2.DETACH YOURSELF EMOTIONALLY FROM YOUR SPOUSE. 3.QUIT TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR SPOUSE. 4.FIND SATISFACTION IN PERSONAL ENHANCEMENT,GROUP ACTIVITIES,AND FRIENDSHIPS. 5.LET ANGER,DISILLUSIONMENT,SELF-CRITICISM,HURT,HATE AND EVEN RAGE BE REPLACED WITH THE PEACE THAT COMES FROM ACCEPTING A NEW ROAD AND OPPORTUNITIES IN LIFE. 6.DROP UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS FOR YOURSELF. 7.QUIT FAULTFINDING…The goal is to live as emotionally stable and happy as one can as one lives in a marriage without love. Spiritual and professional support can be very helpful.

May 6, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts cheating, infidelity, relationships, trust

WHAT A SPOUSE MUST DO WHO HAS HAD AN EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR TO TRY TO SAVE THE MARRIAGE.

Due to the immense pain experienced by the spouse who has been forced to recognize their spouse has been unfaithful,it is not surprising it is so difficult for the love and trust to be rekindled. I again want to emphasize how difficult it is for both persons to effectively overcome the betrayal. The following are some suggested actions that predictably are needed to be implemented by the betraying spouse to ever hope to be able to return to a loving relationship: 1.Absolute termination of the affair with proof presented as needed. 2.Genuine remorse. 3.Honesty. Answer all questions over and over again as necessary. 4.Patience, patience and even more patience. It will take a long time and you must expect much anger and hurt directed to you. 5. Take responsibility. You did it! 6. Control your anger. You caused the problems you are having and must deal with the consequences. 7. Become an active listener to try to fully understand the emotional hurt and pain you have caused…These are very difficult things for an individual to do and sadly the result is often failure or both spouses living in a very unhappy or mediocre marriage. You absolutely do not want either of those results. The above suggested actions are necessary if you desire to return to a loving and caring relationship. For emphasis, the damage is sadly often such that the marriage cannot be saved. It also is true that even in relationships that are saved, the passion, understanding, intimacy, loving, and general happiness are often never again fully achieved. With that said, you can be successful in rekindling your relationship if both spouses desire a loving marriage to continue and total honesty and sincere remorse are fully demonstrated to the betrayed spouse.

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Apr 28, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts cheating, extramarital affairs, mistress, relationships

WHY SPOUSES HAVE EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS

Let us define an affair as when a spouse/partner has a strong emotional and/or physical relationship with a person outside of the marriage/relationship. Whether blatant or hidden until found out,it is devastating to the other spouse/partner. The duration and intensity of the relationship are factors that relate to the possibility of healing and a couple staying together. Numbers are impossible to know for sure since many if not most persons do not admit they are or have had affairs. The AMERICAN ASSOCIATION FOR MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPY says surveys show percentages having extra-marital affairs are 25% for men and 15% for women. Reasons given for affairs would include the following: 1. lack of sexual satisfaction. 2. lack of sexual activity. 3. desire for sexual and/or emotional satisfaction. 4. desires multiple sexual encounters. 5.obsessive-compulsive sexual behavior. 6. lack of love with spouse. 7. desire for ego-enhancement. 8. curiosity. 9. risk-taking. 10. poor judgment. 11. lack of moral compass/conscience. 12. revenge. 13. anger…An amazing thing I have seen in my work of many years with couples is how often spouses will have extramarital affairs and never try to resolve possible underlying issues in their relationships at home. That is not an excuse but a very surprising element of many extramarital affairs.

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