dealing with your past Archives - Regional Psychological Services

Nov 20, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, summertime, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss LOCUS OF CONTROL IN YOUR LIFE

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11-15-2022

Locus of Control is something very important in determining how you look at life. If you believe in “internal locus of control”,then you have the belief you can control what is going on in your life. Preparation,planning and training dominate the thinking and direction you have in your life. But if you believe in “external locus of control”,then you are basically feeling life happens to you and you do not have control over it. You are like a leaf driven by the wind to unknown places. Each day can be filled with dread and fears about what may occur. Research shows high achievement and positive self-image are enhanced by the belief you determine your successes and failures by your decisions. However,there is little doubt successes are strongly influenced by opportunities and circumstances one may have little control. Illness and lack of opportunities can halt and negatively impact the success and self-esteem of almost anyone. A reasonable view to have good mental health is to have a mixture of both. Believe you can control what you can in yourself but also recognize opportunities can occur separate from your plans and preparation.

Sep 29, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, wils, work

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM LET GETTING OLDER BE AN EXCITING VOYAGE

September 27, 2022

We live in an age where ageism or getting older is seen as something to be dreaded and avoided at all costs. We can easily see this as people rush to plastic surgeons and the latest cosmetics advertised on TV to keep us young and ever younger yet! This is unfortunate because more and more research is showing that persons who see getting older has advantages with things to look forward to are not only happier but live longer than those who do not. This does not diminish the reality of physical decline and death. The focus on living positively as we get older is the proverbial view it is better to see the glass half filled rather than half empty. The following are things to look forward to as we get older:
1.You need not worry about dying young! (The Roman Cicero noted this is his classic work ,ON OLD AGE.) 2.Recognizing our mortality can have us cherish each day we live. 3.More leisure time to think and do things. 4.Learn new things. 5.Nurture and rekindle long term friendships and family connections. 6.Strengthen love with spouse/partner and children. 7.Make amends for mistreatment of others in our past or even present. 8.Share the lessons learned in life. 9.Focus on what one remembers rather than what one forgets. Also remember a 20 or 30 year old has far less to remember than a 50-90 year old. 10.Develop one’s spiritual outlook and direction. 11.Do good and make the world better before you leave it. 12.Focus on what you can do rather than what you cannot. 13.Carpe diem—Seize the day and enjoy it. 14.With gusto,look forward to the future!

Sep 19, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, wils, work

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY “FOLLOWING THE CROWD” IS BAD FOR DEVELOPING YOUR INDIVIDUALITY AS A HUMAN BEING”

It will guarantee you mediocrity in life. It is reasonable to be a good citizen and do what is required as a good citizen and family person. However, to just go along with any current trend will guarantee you will not stand out as is possible when you search for and follow your dreams and not those that others have decided for you. My work over the decades as a practicing psychologist has shown me so many crowd followers who are leading lives that are not satisfying and they sometimes even have significant depression and anxiety because they are living the choices of the crowd for them and not their own. One must not accept a specific crowd view that life is against you and just sit back and accept it. The life of a crowd designated victim is tragic if the person accepts it. The free thinking individual will see the normal problems in life that each person has as opportunities for resolution rather than overpowering problems to fold under. They play as best they can the cards life has dealt them. If one is in a crowd that promotes low possibilities for you,leave it immediately and find persons and groups that promote your possibilities as a person. Too often, persons see problems as reasons they run with the crowd as they just decide to settle for whatever life they can have and try to enjoy it. While this may work for many,it guarantees a life of mediocrity. They will not experience the excitement and exhilarating experience in life from voyaging out on their own. The following are some specific reasons why following the crowd or the flock will not help you reach the exciting heights you can experience when following your dreams with the resulting life excitement and happiness through their fulfillment. 1.Doing what everyone else does guarantees you a life of mediocrity. 2.Fads come and go. We do not hopefully just lead a life going from one fad to another. 3.Highly successful persons do not follow the crowd. 4.Individual growth as an individual is best done when following your own developed goals. 5.Following the golden rule—DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU—needs to be the gold standard we use in dealing with others and not those determined by the crowd. 6.The crowd is often wrong. One classic example is when Galileo knew the earth moved but the “crowd” said it did not.

Sep 6, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, wils, work

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss THE PERILS OF WORK BURNOUT/DEPRESSION

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September 6, 2022

Work Burnout/Depression is when persons cannot function effectively at work due to symptoms of Depression overpowering them psychologically. It is sadly more common than many would think. I put them both together because persons with Work Burnout predictably have some level of Depression. Both the employer and person suffering from Work Burnout/Depression must be on the lookout for this horribly debilitating condition and control it as soon as possible. Common symptoms persons have to one degree or another would include the following: 1. Persistent sad and unhappy mood. 2.Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism and helplessness. 3. Unusual increase in absences and poor work performance. 4.Excessive use of alcohol,prescription drugs and/or illegal substances. 5.Fatigue with low levels of energy. 6.Loss of interest in usual daily activities. 7.Changes in eating patterns which can result in noticeable weight gain or loss. 8.Crying. 9.High anxiety sometimes with accompanying panic attacks. 10. Tardiness or sleepiness resulting from sleep problems. 11. Irritability and anger issues resulting in conflicts with other persons. 12. Persistent physical symptoms or pains, including the common cold, that do not respond to typical medical treatment. 13.Unpredictable and unexplained bowel disturbances,headaches or stomach problems. 14.Problems concentrating. 15.Becoming cynical with self,others and life. 16.Lack of control. 17. Nebulous job expectations. 18.Dysfunctional work environment. 19.Suicide ideation…If you or your employer notice some of the symptoms above,it is important to seek out support as needed from family,co-workers,clergy,EAP(Employee Assistance Program),and trained therapists…Depression Is a major national concern. The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that among adults of 18 and older in 2020 that 21 million adults have had at least one major depressive episode. This amounts to 8.9% of the population. When you add Job Burnout to the mix, you can see this is a very troubling situation We all need to do our part to help persons be able to work without the psychologically and physically debilitating condition of Work Depression/Burnout.

Aug 24, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, wils

Dr Braccio & MikeAustin discuss WHEN NOT HAVING CHILDREN OR BEING MARRIED IS THE RIGHT LIFE CHOICE

WHEN NOT HAVING CHILDREN OR BEING MARRIED IS THE RIGHT LIFE CHOICE- Subscribe to our page! August 23, 2022 In our society, being married and having children have long been considered the appropriate lifestyle. While this may be true for most persons, it is not true for everyone. One can draw some conclusions from the fact that 50% of marriages fail and many children are not offered good parental guidance and support from their parents. There even are sadly too many children who are abused emotionally,sexually and physically. Arguably, much of this could be relieved by many persons accepting their true personalities and realize their desires in life are such that being married and having children are not right for them and can be catastrophic for themselves,spouses and children. How often do we hear adults indicate one or both of their parents had no business ever being married and having children? Our society would be far more effective if persons who have no business being married and having children did neither. This simply acknowledges that long-term life relationships filled with love and the caring for children does not fit the mold for many persons and they and society would be better off if they chose to use their skills in different directions that could contribute much to the development of a safer,more cohesive and more effective society and country. Personality factors that would show a person is not someone to enter a life long commitment to a partner or raising children in a loving and effective manner would include the following: 1.Narcissistic 2.Explosive Personality/Verbal Abuser. 3.Sociopathic. 4.Selfish/Self-Absorbed. 5.Egotistical. 6.Career Driven. 7.Workaholic. 8.Infidelity. 9.Life Mission. 10.Immature. 11.Emotionally Unstable. 12.Physical Abuser/Batterer. 13.Pathological Liar. 14.Manipulator. 15.Emotionally Controlled By Parents. 16.Alcoholic/Substance Abuser. 17.Habitual Gambler…Something positive is that persons can overcome many of these areas of concern by being authentic with themselves and seeking support as needed from family,friends clergy and well trained therapists.

Jun 2, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, wils

WHEN YOU KNOW YOU HAVE HOPE IN YOUR FADING MARRIAGE(RELATIONSHIP)

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHEN YOU KNOW YOU HAVE HOPE IN YOUR FADING MARRIAGE(RELATIONSHIP)

Signs to look for to find hope in your fading marriage would include the following. Some combination of them can be the basis for rekindling a sputtering marriage. 1.You have mutually loved and respected friends and family you desire to keep. 2.You genuinely care for each other’s well being. 3.You respect and admire the better traits of your spouse. 4.You desire to save it with hard effort on both sides. 5.You do not have walls of indifference,anger,frustration and disagreement singly or in some combination that are so deep and thick that you cannot bit by bit tear them down. 6.You desire to continue a life together with some combination of children,grandchildren,family and friends. 7.You have no desire to see any other person loving/sharing love with your spouse. 8.You use humor and not bitter sarcasm. 9.You have a strong desire to create wonderful new memories like those you have had in the past. 10.You desire to rediscover compromise and active listening. 11.You recognize what you have done and not done to enhance the marriage. 12.You share a willingness to seek out professional support as may be needed.

May 31, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, summertime, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly 1320 AM discuss CONTROL THE SUMMERTIME BLUES

May 24, 2022

Your first response might be what could he be talking about? Summertime is the time we all wait for and no one could have the blues! It might be surprising to you but it is true that many persons have summertime blues. It is a form of SAD-SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER. Let me mention some of the problems that occur with some persons in the summertime: 1.Lack of sleep due to the long daylight hours. 2.Self-esteem issues if you are not happy and everyone is telling you how wonderful it is that it is summer. 3.Financial concerns due to the cost of summer activities for children and family vacations. 4.Body image concerns as it is a time for bathing suits and summer clothing. 5.Too much sun,heat and humidity. 6.Difficulty effectively managing so many activities going on simultaneously in a home.

Things to do to beat the summertime blues would include the following: 1.Adequate sleep. 2.Reasonable exercise and not overdoing it. 3.Good financial planning for vacations and other family related activities. 4.Reasonable and healthy eating and use of alcohol beverages. 5.Planning time effectively so you do not feel overwhelmed. 6.Claim your summer in a way that is mentally and physically healthy for you and do not allow others to define how happy you need to be and what things you need to do. 7.As you feel appropriate,seek out professional medical and psychological personnel.

May 23, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHEN IS IT TIME TO LEAVE A MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

May 17, 2022

Subscribe to our youtube page! WHEN IS IT TIME TO LEAVE A MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP Aside from the obvious reasons of infidelity and physical or emotional abuse of you and/or children, there are other important factors in determining if your marriage/relationship is best to consider ending. The following are factors to be considered. If they are heavily weighing you down emotionally and you do not see a way they can be changed,then this is the time to make a final attempt to resolve them or think very seriously and honestly about ending the marriage/relationship. 1.Do the problems relate to current difficulties in your life circumstances or who both of you are as persons? 2.What have you attempted to do to resolve the feelings you have and save the marriage/relationship? 3.How well do each of you compromise? 4.What advice would you give to a best friend if living under the identical circumstances as you are? 5.What percentage of time do you feel you experience happiness and satisfaction in your relationship? Are you best friends? 6. Do you stay because of the children? If so, what impact would divorce have on them? 7.Are you fulfilled in the relationship emotionally? If not,what can you do to change this and how would you attempt to do it? 8.Does your spouse/partner respect those aspects of you that are essential to your self-esteem? 9.Are you as a person respected? 10.Do you have a lack of love and resulting physical/emotional intimacy? 11.Are you no longer a partnership? 12.Are the relationships in a blended family causing chaos and hurt on all members? 13.Do you enjoy living your life together and sharing your experiences and dreams at all levels in a way both are satisfied? 14.Do you feel you have invested too much time in your relationship to end it? 15.Do you feel or believe you must morally or spiritually stay together? 16.Do you feel you must stay in the relationship because of economics?

May 16, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss YOU CAN ENJOY RELATIONSHIPS FAR BETTER WHEN YOU DO NOT ALWAYS NEED TO BE RIGHT.

May 10, 2022

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A human flaw most of us have at one time or another is the need to always be right. Fortunately, most people eventually realize this greatly damages relationships whether they be with our partners, family, coworkers or acquaintances. Persons are wise when they begin to see their relationships are faltering and persons either argue with them or dismiss them. Neither is positive and relationships change negatively and can die. They can again become sustainable and mature when persons can discuss areas of disagreement in a civilized manner. This problem is rather clear when we look at the disagreements the country is having now on political issues. An additional problem to beware of is that persons can take “all or nothing views” on politics and begin to use them in other facets of their lives. Persons do not want to be known as a “know it all” with all the negative connotations that comes with that definition. The following are some strategies to help a person overcome their need to always be right: 1.Recognize there can be various ways to accomplish a task. 2.What can be seen as right today can be seen as wrong tomorrow. 3.Be mindful to actively listen to opinions of others and give an honest attempt to understand the opinions that might be different from yours. Then it is fair to present your opinion as an opinion in a civilized manner. This hopefully can result in good discussion and even healthy debate. 4.It is not weakness to accept the views of others. 5.Tolerance of the views of others is a sign of confidence and strength. 6.Accept many persons will not agree with you and let go of many areas of disagreement. Minimize the number of emotional hills you are willing “to die on”. 7.Relax and smell the roses.

Apr 29, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, liars, lying, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, patience, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio discusses with Dave Akerly WHY THE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR IS SO PSYCHOLOGICALLY DANGEROUS COMPARED TO THE COMPULSIVE LIAR

April 26, 2022

Let me begin by saying lying is a bad policy and will hurt the trust people have in you and what you say. I also will add saying an ugly hat Aunt Mabel is wearing is nice is better than saying it is atrocious and burn it. The compulsive liar is an annoyance and can destroy or greatly impair relationships,but their primary purpose is generally self-enhancement and a long-term psychological problem with telling the truth. Their purpose is not to ruin others. Purposes include to stay out of trouble,enhance self,and even try to please others. On the other hand,the pathological liar is deceitful and devious without a conscience. Their purpose is to hurt others and enhance self at the expense of anyone who gets in their way or they choose to torment for their own pleasure. They do not need a reason to damage someone. They generally have well engrained narcissistic and/or antisocial personality(sociopathy)disorders. They can be quite charming,convincing,and effective. They can play their hideous behaviors often well hidden from others. Because they have no sense of right or wrong,they are often masters of manipulation and intrigue when dealing with persons who are trusting,loving and sincere. The best defense is to stay away or have as minimal contact as possible if you identify them. Because they prey on your goodness,you must beware when you see the destructive behaviors of a pathological liar playing out in their interactions with others. They are at their worst when in positions of power and authority.

Apr 25, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, patience, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHEN THE NEED FOR PERSONAL APPROVAL IS PSYCHOLOGICALLY DESTRUCTIVE

April 19, 2022

All of us enjoy approval when persons note and complement us on things we have done or said. This is natural and good for self-esteem development as others recognize positive things about us. When the need for personal approval is psychologically destructive is when we have low self-esteem and our opinion of ourselves is not determined by us but by the opinions of others. This is particularly destructive when persons who influence us and whose approval we desire do not give it or give it conditionally. Examples of psychologically destructive approval would include the following: 1. Low self-esteem leads to how others perceive us. 2. Changing a point of view due to it being shunned by someone else. 3. Not saying no or disagreeing with someone for the fear of being personally attacked for being stupid or having low-level thinking. 4.Not complaining when receiving inferior goods, services or poor treatment by others. 5. Constantly seeking approval from someone who will never give it completely and always has conditions. 6. Feeling the need to apologize or minimize thoughts or feelings when challenged by someone else or even when praised due to low self-esteem. 7. Unreasonably seeking out compliments or recognition for self-validation when unnecessary and even inappropriate. 8.Excessive desire for social media recognition to the point of obsession…One can begin to overcome this need for psychologically destructive approval by having a realistic view of self and not allowing others to define you. It is important to note some people, including otherwise loving family and friends, will not give full approval so they can keep you coming back again and again to get the approval they will never fully give. It is important to love yourself in the wise proverb: LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF. Too often the person seeking psychologically destructive approval overlooks the LOVE THYSELF as one must to have good and healthy self-esteem approval needs.

Apr 14, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, patience, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss PATIENCE & FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL- Subscribe to our page!

PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL April 12, 2022 This quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson teaches us in a few words why we need both patience and fortitude to achieve our dreams in life as well as the everyday tasks we must accomplish to be successful. Aptitude is a great gift but needs patience and fortitude to meet potential. Examples to prove the point would be top athletes and students. Each would tell you both patience and fortitude are needed to persist in the never ending quest for excellence. Even if we do not have the aptitude of Magic Johnson in basketball or Albert Einstein in physics,we can use the same level of patience and fortitude they used to become the best we can be in whatever field we choose as a career.

Apr 11, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss KNOW WHEN CLUTTER IS DRAGGING YOU DOWN PSYCHOLOGICALLY

KNOW WHEN CLUTTER IS DRAGGING YOU DOWN PSYCHOLOGICALLY April 5. 2022 Subscribe to our page! Clutter is actually a more complicated concept than most people think. Clutter is only a problem if it negatively impacts on you psychologically. There are many people who are very comfortable with clutter and as long as it does not lead to filth and possible resulting physical and relationship problems, it is generally not a psychological problem for the person. Clutter also means different things to different people. The same materials can be seen as the equivalent of gold to some persons and to others as junk. Clutter becomes a psychological problem when it leads to the following types of problems that impact on a person’s psychological wellbeing: 1. Elevated anxiety and stress. 2. Symptoms of debilitating depression. 3. Lack of focus. 4. Work and/or life inefficiency. 5. Avoidance of life activities. 6.Chaos in life. 7. Feeling like one is drowning. 8. Feeling overwhelmed. 9. Inconsistent sleep patterns. 10.Misuse of drugs, including alcohol, prescription drugs, and illegal drugs…If you have any of these problems that are impacting you psychologically and be aware you are one of many, then you need to begin slowly but consistently to overcome your problems with clutter. Step one is to admit you have a problem, then a vision of what needs to be done to declutter your life, and finally a plan to begin the process.

Tag: dealing with your past