Tag: Depression

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    BEWARE OF THE OFTEN CHARMING BUT PSYCHOLOGICALLY DANGEROUS HISTRIONIC NARCISSIST

    Narcissists are persons who think of themselves as superior to others and demand attention,absolute commitment,adulation and constant praise. They believe the sun comes up in the morning so they may have light and goes down at night so they can better sleep. They lack empathy for others and have problems in maintaining meaningful relationships. They can be charming,dynamic,charismatic and the life of any party. They can manipulate good people to do their bidding and quite often psychologically overwhelm otherwise good persons into loving them.  They then take advantage of them because of their love and commitment to them. When you add the histrionic element to the personality of the narcissist,constant drama becomes central to the relationship. Such persons are often called DRAMA QUEENS AND KINGS. When one understands the Histrionic Narcissist,the personality flaws and behaviors are self-evident. What also is amazingly evident is how good persons have relationships with them. The veritable emotional avalanche of charisma and charm directed at the desired conquest can overwhelm the common senses  of the wisest of human beings. Because the Histrionic Narcissist has no conscience and acts only on the weaknesses and desires of the victim,their success is somewhat reasonable taking into account how powerful is the desire so many humans have for love and understanding from another human being. Belore long,the mask comes off and the histrionics begin. Potential victims need to run away immediately after recognition of who they are dealing with and long before the Histrionic Narcissistic can begin the psychological devastation they so effectively cause. This is easier said than done. 

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    GO WITH THOSE WHO KNOW MORE THAN YOU DO

    Dr Braccio speaks with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM — GO WITH THOSE WHO KNOW MORE THAN YOU  DO—is good advice from parents to their children to help them advance personally and professionally in their lives. This was a constant statement of how to advance in life from my father.   He believed persons  learned and advanced in life if they surrounded themselves with persons who were working hard with the same goals. I have found him to be very  wise with his belief. In my opinion,it is a timeless statement for  young and old persons alike to be successful and productive persons for themselves,their families,their friends and all persons they interact. An equally wise counter statement of my father was—GO WITH BUMS IF YOU WANT TO BE ONE. A good rule for parenting is to to guide our children with who they choose as friends. If this is done wisely when they are young,the chances are far better they will make better choices when teenagers and adults. It continues to surprise me how often teenagers in problematic relationships come from homes where parents were not sufficiently involved in their friendship choices when younger. It is wise to have children involved in activities in churches,sports,school musical groups,Scouts,4 H,and many other organizations where discipline,teamwork and positive moral/spiritual beliefs are fostered and developed

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    Dr John & Dave Akerly 7-7-20 THE PSYCHOLOGICAL DEVASTATION OF PARENTAL ALIENATION ON CHILDREN

    A study from some years ago says 11-15% of divorces result in some form of parental alienation. Even if the numbers are smaller,anyone who has seen the severe psychological damage done to children when they experience parental alienation and/or when they are adults,the damage is clear. It is severe child abuse. Children want to love and be loved by both parents. It is confusing and psychologically damaging to the child when taught to hate a good parent while constantly hearing everything bad about him or her. This hatred can be extended to all friends and family members of the alienated parent. Such alienation can lead to self-contempt for being the child of someone so horrible. Depression,low self-esteem,anxiety,PTSD,future alienation from their own children,poor relationships,divorces,substance abuse/alcoholism,abandonment issues,unable to trust,unable to love,guilt-ridden,weak personal boundaries and long term inappropriate personal hated for a parent who may have been a loving parent…This is not a pretty picture. I have seen a lot of horrible parental alienation behavior to know all of us need to do whatever we can to not allow it to happen. The psychological devastation to the alienated children can carry on for generations with poor interactions with their children and partner relationships. School personnel,family members,judges,friends of the court,clergy,therapists and friends of the alienating parent can all try to help stop the alienating process. It is very difficult but we all can try with hopefully some success.

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    HOW TO DEVELOP A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF WHEN ALL YOU FIND ARE NEGATIVES

    6-30-20 Dr John Braccio and Dave Akerly on 1320 AM WILS discuss HOW TO DEVELOP A STRONGER  RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF WHEN ALL YOU FIND ARE NEGATIVES

    When thinking of building stronger relationships, we usually think of them pertaining to couples or maybe friendships, families, working persons, or groups of one type or another. That eliminates the arguably most important relationship one has: The one with yourself. The following are some suggestions that can be helpful: 1. STOP SHAMING YOURSELF WITH SENSELESS NEGATIVITY. 2. NOONE HAS DIED COMPLAINING THEY WERE TOO HAPPY AND POSITIVE IN LIFE. JOIN THIS GROUP FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 3. STOP SELF-DESTRUCTIVE VIRTUE SIGNALING AND SELF-ABSORBED HATRED OF SELF THAT ONLY DESTROYS YOUR LIFE AND WILL PUSH POSITIVE AND HAPPY PEOPLE AWAY FROM YOU. 4. BE OPEN TO OPPORTUNITIES YOU HAVE AND BUILD ON THEM. 5. SEEK OUT OPPORTUNITIES AND DO NOT THROW THEM AWAY DUE TO SELF DEPREDATION OF ABILITY AND ABILITY. 6. DEDICATE PERIODS OF TIME IN DAYS TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF EVEN IN THE FACE OF FIERCE OPPOSITION FROM YOUR INNER CRITIC. 7. TREAT YOURSELF TO THE KINDNESS AND ACCEPTANCE YOU GIVE TO OTHERS IN SPITE OF THE HUMAN FLAWS THEY HAVE AS DO ALL HUMAN BEINGS. 8. RECOGNIZE HUMAN HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE YOU AND ONLY YOU CAN MAKE FOR YOURSELF. 9. SEEK PURPOSE IN YOUR LIFE THROUGH A RELIGIOUS OR SECULAR HUMANISTIC PERSPECTIVE

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    HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY STABLE AND HAPPY IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE

    In our segments on marriage we have discussed various aspects of marriage. Today we discuss how a spouse lives emotionally stable and happy in a marriage they have decided to stay in for whatever the reason when love is gone. The following techniques can be used to reach this end:  1.DO NOT ALLOW THE LACK OF LOVE IN THE MARRIAGE TO DEFINE YOU.  2.DETACH YOURSELF EMOTIONALLY FROM YOUR SPOUSE. 3.QUIT TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR SPOUSE. 4.FIND SATISFACTION IN PERSONAL ENHANCEMENT,GROUP ACTIVITIES,AND FRIENDSHIPS. 5.LET ANGER,DISILLUSIONMENT,SELF-CRITICISM,HURT,HATE AND EVEN RAGE BE REPLACED WITH THE PEACE THAT COMES FROM ACCEPTING A NEW ROAD AND OPPORTUNITIES IN LIFE. 6.DROP UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS FOR YOURSELF. 7.QUIT FAULTFINDING…The goal is to live as emotionally stable and happy as one can as one lives in a marriage without love. Spiritual and professional support can be very helpful.

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    HOW TO STOP THE “WHAT-IFFING WORRYING SYNDROME” FROM BEING A LIFE WRECKER

    To worry is the desire to control something to avoid an undesired outcome. Your anxiety will go up in relation to the amount of your waking hours you are “what-iffing”. The pattern is unfortunately a wheel of never ending anxiety with the following sequence of trying to control something, worrying about it, not able to control it, feeling highly anxious, often losing self-esteem with feelings of lack of control,and then starting on a new worry cycle that  leaves never ending emotional wreckage in its wake. 
    Anxiety that enhances low self-esteem can overwhelm you emotionally  when “what-iffing” about things you cannot control. These would include such things as the economy, climate change, nuclear arms/war,the weather,world famine, the behavior of others,etc. in an endless list that can grow daily. Unfortunately,outcomes for persons afflicted with the “what-iffing anxiety syndrome” are low self-esteem because they have no control over so many things they worry about. They then see themselves as inadequate persons or even bad and flawed human beings. They often try to micromanage themselves and unfortunate persons they interact with as their “what-iffing anxiety syndrome” overwhelms them emotionally. 
    Strategies to overcome the “what-iffing anxiety syndrome” would include clear recognition of what you can and cannot control.  The person must focus emotional and intellectual energies on distinguishing between them. Do not wear other people down emotionally who care for you with your trying to micromanage them. Do not micromanage yourself with unreasonable worries. Make better choices on what you are  going to worry about. With resulting better decision making, you can be happy with far less negative and worrisome thoughts in your head.  A further positive and effective strategy is to set aside 10 to 20 minutes a day for worrying. When you begin to worry at other times of the day, you need to stop it and remind yourself your worrying  time begins at a later time. None of these strategies are easy to do but are important for a person to overcome the horrible psychological damage caused by the “what-ifing anxiety syndrome”. A  quote from the serenity prayer gives great wisdom to  persons suffering from the “what-iffing anxiety syndrome”. It goes as follows:  GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN,AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

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    HELP STOP PREDICTABLE INCREASES IN SUICIDE WITH MASSIVE UNEMPLOYMENT AND DISLOCATION IN THE LIVES OF INDIVIDUALS AND FAMILIES DURING THE CORONAVIRUS CRISIS

    A predictable  consequence of unemployment is an increase in suicides. A chilling prediction is that massive unemployment will cause far more suicides than deaths from the Coronavirus  itself. The  isolation many unemployed persons experience who live alone or in mentally unstable homes can  lead to far more suicides. Even though suicide is a very personal decision and one that often cannot be stopped  from occurring even with the greatest of caring and love of involved persons,that is no reason not to try to help persons who believe their lives and themselves are so horrible and hopeless that they choose to end their lives. What can we do? If we are aware of someone suffering due to hardships and depression from losing their jobs and the resulting loss of income, job status,loss of self-esteem and/or living in a toxic environment with no reprieve, we need as caring human beings to try to let the persons know they are loved, things will improve, they are not a burden, we enjoy that they are alive on earth and that you were always be there if they need any support. A haunting quotation from Robin Williams will save you from reading many thousands of words on suicide: “All it takes is a beautiful false smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you really are.”