Tag: difficult children

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss “DO NOT ALLOW PAST MISTAKES AND “WHAT IFS” RUIN YOUR PRESENT

    11-14-2023- Learning from mistakes in the past is a good thing to do. Thinking about things that we might have done in the past and wondering how they might have turned out can be interesting and also a good thing. These thoughts become a problem psychologically when we become overwhelmed by mistakes and perceived mistakes we made in the past and relive them and cannot be happy in the now. The anxiety creating “what iffing”is a classic cause of anxiety and can also lead to psychological turmoil by not being happy in the present and thinking about all the wonderful things that the person believes would have occurred if they had only done certain things. Of course,no one knows how events would have worked out on a choice not made. One cannot allow self to be negatively impacted by the past. If you find past mistakes or perceived loss of opportunities are causing you psychological grief,the following are suggestions to be happy in the present and not relive real and perceived mistakes in the past. 1. You can never COULD HAVE,SHOULD HAVE,MIGHT HAVE or OUGHT HAVE. Live in the NOW and do what you can. 2. Learn from your mistakes and use them as lessons in learning what not to do. Do not focus on them and cause yourself emotional pain. 3. As appropriate,advise others how to not make the mistakes you have made. This is a good way to feel better about your mistakes. 4. Do not emotionally torture yourself by replaying verbal and social interactions where you feel you embarrassed yourself. Learn from them. 5. If you cannot do this on your own,you can seek a therapist to help you experienced in such matters to guide you.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO COPE WITH ENVIOUS PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

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    November 7, 2023

    Last week we talked about the tortured life of the envious person. This week we are going to talk about how persons cope with the envious persons in their lives. Because we live in a competitive society where being number one or the best in their field is often the goal, it is not unusual there is a lot of envy in persons who do not reach that level of success. There also are envious persons who do not try to be number one but nevertheless are envious of hard working high achievers who they compare themselves unfavorably. Envious persons also can be envious of persons they see as greater or more successful. Because there is so much envy in the world, and envy is a part of every person even if to a minimal degree, it is important persons learn how to deal with envious persons. We do not need to worry about persons who are envious of us but do nothing more than being envious. With them, we can be positive and supportive of their positive traits and achievements. To those who are envious and we are not aware, there is nothing we can do. The problem is when persons are envious and try to undermine us in our lives,they can be just out and out sarcastic and mean to our face. They also try to undermine us when we are not around them and they are with others. Rather than being overwhelmed emotionally and feeling horrible because people are envious of us and try to undermine us, it is important we learn how to safeguard our self-esteem and confront such persons. The following are strategies to use to cope with the envious person who negatively impacts on us at whatever level in our lives. 1. Confront a person and stand up for yourself, and do not allow yourself to be bullied or treated unfairly. 2. Let the person know you are aware of their envy. Let them know you are not happy about it and are willing to confront them if they become sarcastic or try to undermine you in one way or another. 3. Try to talk to the person and indicate the behavior puts a strain on the friendship or whatever relationship there is, and that it could end it. 4. End the relationship with the person completely and recognize they are toxic to you and your life is far better without them in it. 5. If you must interact with them due to family, mutual friends, joint leisure activities etc., then keep your distance and always be on guard and willing to stand up for yourself as necessary. 6. As appropriate, ignore the person and let them say as they will with no need for any more interactions. 7. Be happy with who you are and what you have achieved,and never allow others to define you. 8. As felt necessary, seek out an experienced therapist to help guide you when dealing with envious persons.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss THE TORTURED LIFE OF THE ENVIOUS PERSON

    Subscribe to our page! 10-31-2023 Envy can be torturous to a person who constantly desires the good fortune they perceive someone else is experiencing and are very upset emotionally they do not have it. It is a case where a person does not look at the benefits and gifts they have in life but constantly compare themselves with others and do it in a negative way. They can be envious of someone they perceive as better looking, having better luck, having more wealth, having a better personality, coming from a better family, having a more attractive spouse, having a better circle of friends, or any other thing that someone could be envious. The result is that the person suffers a form of emotional pain because they do not have what the other person has. It can be positive if it inspires someone to try harder to achieve something. That would be a positive type of envy. But today we are talking about the type of envy that hurts the person emotionally, and from which some persons never recover in their lives as they constantly find things to be envious. It is the rather odd phenomenon of counting the blessings of others and underestimating their own. The end result is psychological hurt and frustration.The causes of envy are often low self-esteem caused by difficulties in one’s youth. They can relate to poverty or feelings of not being treated fairly at home and in life. There also are competitive persons who simply must be number one even in areas they clearly are not. It is not by accident that envy is considered one of the seven deadly sins. At its worst,envy can lead to mocking the person for their perceived superiority or one can use sarcasm and other passive-aggressive strategies to undermine the person that one has envy. Ways to overcome envy would include the following: 1. Count and appreciate your own blessings and achievements! 2. Develop a sense of happiness that others have their blessings. 3. Make envy positive by improving yourself in areas that previously caused envy. 4. never compare yourself with others except for self improvement. Love yourself! 5. Accept you are an envious person and determine to overcome it. 6. Make changes in your own life to help eliminate envy. 7. Seek and find spiritual satisfaction to help overcome worldly envy and be happier. 8. If you feel it would be helpful, seek out a trained therapist with a person who is experienced in helping persons with envy.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS FOR DEALING WITH A DIFFICULT CHILD

    October 24, 2023- A person is very fortunate who has not had a difficult child at one time or another during the period they were being raised. In my work with parents trying to learn how to deal with a difficult child, my point is not to find fault with parenting techniques that have been used up to that time, but rather to try to find the best way for the parents to be able to work with a difficult child in the here and now. An important thing to remember is that children do not misbehave simply because they desire to do it. There is a reason for the behavior. It can be a parent is too strict or too lax. There are many other reasons that the misbehavior can occur. The important thing is to try to learn why is your child being so difficult with you. If it is hard to determine from all the possibilities ranging from a child wanting to control the house to a child simply desiring attention and willing to accept negative attention versus no attention,do not worry. The important thing is to try the following strategies to help you and your child: 1. Recognize you are a parent and your job is to model good behavior and not allow you or your child to be rude or disrespectful. 2. Regardless of what has happened to the present, you need to set up boundaries on what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. 3. Keep control of your own emotions and not allow your child to create a sibling-like relationship with you that simply devolves into constant arguing and disagreement. 4. Seek out when your child is behaving appropriately and praise them at that time. The goal is to encourage and reinforce appropriate behavior. Too often the parent says nothing when the child is behaving appropriately for the risk of beginning a conflict. 5. Reward good behavior when possible with compliments and potentially with desired activities or things as long as it is not simply a child being good to receive rewards. It is important to remember that when children behave as desired,we often do good things for them and see it as appropriate. 6. Have few rules in the house and enforce them with consequences that the child is aware of with no surprises. 7. As possible, have family discussions where there can be agreements on what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior, and what are the consequences for inappropriate behavior. When this occurs, and you and the child are aware their activities have led to the resulting consequences,they then must accept the consequences as their own making. Successful family discussions relating to appropriate behaviors are not simple to do but something to work on as a family over a period of time. What are acceptable behaviors by you can also be part of the plan. 8.. Take into account your own temperament and personality when dealing with your child. It is very possible the temperament and personality of your child are quite different from you and this leads to a lot of the bumping heads that is occurring between you. Try to use an approach that takes into account the needs of your personality as well as that of your child. Understanding these differences can be critical in developing good communication between the two of you. 9. Recognize situations where there are high risks of problems occurring and plan accordingly for how you will react to them. 10. Make sure you focus on the problem of the moment and do not bring in previous problems lest the discussion become one of a list of problems and not a resolution of a current one. 11. Seek out a therapist who can help your child behave more appropriately and potentially do family counseling. 10. Seek out an experienced therapist in family dynamics who can help guide you to be a more effective parent for both you and your child.