Tag: expressing yourself

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHEN SAYING “NO” is appropriate and necessary

    March 12, 2024- It is amazing how many wonderful people who have the kindest of hearts and the most willingness to help others are often overwhelmed with responsibilities. They have agreed to enter into what makes their lives a completely stressful and overwhelming experience. When one thinks of it, “no” is just a word with two letters. When one considers we use thousands of words in our lives, it is amazing how that word can make life so difficult when one cannot use it. Way too many persons feel they have to say “yes” when asked to do something. This is often learned from an early age when they were children and their parents and other adults told them to always try to be helpful and do what was requested of them. It also can be true that persons feel saying “no” is hurtful and not being a good human being. Still others will not say “no” out of feelings of guilt if they do not do what is asked of them. Still others do it out of a sense of duty that someone has asked them and it would be wrong for them not to do it. Still others cannot say “no” to families out of love and sometimes engrained guilt. My point here is not that saying “yes” when a person is asked to do something is wrong. To the contrary, I believe helping others when we can is a noble and important aspect of showing and developing caring and love for others and ourselves. It also shows a commitment to the community and the persons we love and care about. The problem is when saying “yes” to too many things can lead to mental and physical health distress to the point a person cannot function effectively in life. I have worked with many persons in my offices and also have known many persons as I have walked the road of life that cannot say “no” to persons and constantly feel overwhelmed and not able to do what they desire and need to do to lead a normal happy life. They are like a golf ball being hit from one place to another with no control over their life. If this is happening to you, the following are some things to do to help you overcome the problem with not being able to say “no”: 1.Accept you have needs that must be met for your own mental and physical well being. 2.Never say “yes” out of guilt. Guilt is destructive and will harm you if you behave based on it. 3.Do not allow burnout to overwhelm you and not allow you to function. 4.Set priorities and boundaries and base your responding “yes” or “no” for requests for help based on them.5.When setting priorities and boundaries,be realistic in what you can do to have balance in your life.6.If you find you cannot say “no” when asked to do things,you might consider seeking out a therapist to help you set up appropriate priorities and boundaries.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HELPING YOUR CHILD WITH ADHD- Subscribe to our page!

    March 5, 2024- Life can be a challenge for a child who does not have any particular social, personal, or academic concerns. However, for the child who has been diagnosed with ADHD and shows some combination of the characteristics of lack of focus, inattention, procrastination, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, life becomes far more complicated for them and their parents. The parent of the child with ADHD needs to try to do whatever they can to help the child function to their maximum potential. It is important to know that many persons with ADHD can be enormously successful, as well as generally successful in life by simply controlling the extra energy they often possess when compared to the non-ADHD person. They can gain by being able to multitask much easier than the average person because their mind so quickly can go from one thing to another. The key is harnessing and channeling this ability to multitask into completion of activities started. The following are things parents can do to help their child with ADHD characteristics that are negatively impacting their ability to function effectively in life: 1. Make sure the diagnosis is correct. 2. Identify if there are any overlapping conditions, such as anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, conduct disorder, etc. that need to be treated. 3. Set up clear expectations of what is expected of the child and make sure they are aware of what they are and consequences if not met. 4. Take over the executive function in a way to make sure that things run smoothly because lack of organization, planning, and problems completing activities are core hallmark problems of the person with ADHD. 5. Keep the person active in sports and other activities that keep them motivated to do their best and channel what would be extra energy to other persons into the tasks and activities at hand. 6. Make sure you are not neglecting other children in the family due to the extra attention given to the person with ADHD. 7. Help teach the ADHD child who does not have good social skills how to share and be a good friend with others. 8. Work closely with involved school personnel, medical persons, and counseling persons who are involved with your child to make sure all are working in the same direction in helping your child… Because ADHD tends to run in families, there is a strong possibility you as a parent also have ADHD. If you question this and determine to see if this is true, seeking out an evaluation with a verification of ADHD could be helpful for you to better understand the characteristics of your child and offer support that can also help you. Your overall goal is to make sure you and your child are moving forward to help them overcome the ADHD characteristics that can negatively impact on their personal, social, and academic life.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss SURVIVING A SURPRISE DIVORCE AT 50 OR OLDER

    February 27, 2024-Surviving a surprise divorce at any age can be very shocking,devastating and life shattering. A surprise divorce at 50 or older,called a “GREY DIVORCE”,can be particularly painful and difficult because at that age large percentages of couples have children out of the home,financial worries are often less and persons are thinking about a far less stressful future together in retirement and beyond enjoying their adult children and grandchildren. When this comes to a thunderous collapse and the person is now looking at a life away from their spouse or partner,life becomes a horrible mess. This would be true even if the two were not greatly in love. For many persons,they will have to sell their homes,work much longer than planned,lose many couple and joint personal friends,share what becomes limited financial resources,loss of security,loneliness,guilt,intense anger,low self-esteem and a horrible fear of what will become of them in an uncharted ominous future. The following are some suggestions on what to do when you are dealing with a “GREY DIVORCE” you were not expecting: 1. Accept your feelings and realize your grief period will be determined by you and not others. 2. Learn from the divorce but do not torture yourself for it. The marriage is over. 3. Guilt never helped solve a problem in the past. 4. Make sure the legal aspects of the divorce are handled by an attorney with broad “GREY DIVORCE” experience. The divorce settlement could relate to your current lifestyle and the level of work you will need to do because of your changed financial situation. 5. Do not bring your adult children into the divorce in spite of how hard it will be for you not to. They will have to emotionally work it out themselves. 6. Be kind to yourself and do not allow others to define who you are. 7. Talk to trusted family and friends about your hurt, grief and anger for emotional support. 8. Develop new routines to help set new paths in your life. 9. Seek out support groups and/or a trained therapist experienced in working with persons coming out of a “GREY DIVORCE” as you feel appropriate. 10. Do not isolate yourself. Do things and see people even if difficult. 11. Learn to enjoy being single as difficult as that may seem possible. 12. Develop your spirituality and purpose in life as you forge forth on your new life voyage.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss LET ANGER BE A TEACHING TOOL

    Anger is not usually looked at as a teaching tool. It is often seen as something that can be
    useful in protecting a person from unfairness. It also is often seen as a destructive set of
    feelings that can destroy relationships and lead to failure at work,family relationships,
    friendships and in a myriad of other social settings that require a person to not allow anger to be
    a destructive force. When a person begins to see how anger is causing problems in their lives
    and recognizes it is a negative force that is hurting them and causing them great grief, it is time
    to take a look at how anger is hurting you as well as how you can use it as a teaching tool. The
    obvious question is how can someone do this? In order to have effective anger beyond the need
    for self-preservation and setting appropriate boundaries when unfairness cannot be tolerated,
    the important thing is that all people have flaws and failings that can lead us to have anger with
    them. It can even be appropriate anger that we can choose to overlook or minimize. The
    problem is that too many persons cut people out of their lives due to unreasonable anger,
    whether it be in a marriage, family relationships, friendships, work relationships, or any type of
    interaction that we have with persons. We can let anger be a teaching tool if we are really willing
    to learn how to let anger go and deal with it more appropriately. A way to do this is to develop
    our sense of human compassion, love , spirituality and recognizing there will always be people
    who offend us to one degree or another that will include some really good people. We need to
    take a compassionate view of people we interact with, and give them the benefit of the doubt
    and realize that most slights may be remembered and not appreciated, but are not of a type we
    want to end friendships or have ongoing anger that ultimately Impacts us both physically and
    emotionally in a very negative way. Trying to understand what motivates other persons and
    recognize that life is difficult for even persons that seem immune to stress and give them the
    benefit of the doubt can make for a far more positive life for us. You will find people who have
    many friends overlook flaws and slights and make themselves available to friends and others in
    an open manner and are rewarded with less anger and more happiness. Another thing to do to
    let anger be a teaching tool is not to take ourselves too seriously and not be out measuring
    unfairness by the teaspoon or making sure that we get what we feel we deserve when clearly
    we can be picky and unreasonable. Another area of concern that causes great anger in
    persons is when we are jealous of the success of other persons or whatever advantage we feel
    they have in comparison to us. That is really a destructive use of anger. If we want to use anger
    as a teaching tool, we need to celebrate the successes of others and try to learn from them or
    accept their circumstances or skill sets are such they are more successful than we are at certain
    levels. We need to disable anger by not comparing ourselves with others, but find joy and
    satisfaction in both what we have achieved in life and what we can achieve through effort and
    seeking out what we desire. The problem with too many persons is that they never really get a
    handle on anger and they either have too much of it or in other cases they are not able to
    defend themselves and need to learn how to use anger as a tool. The important message here
    today is not to have persons not be angry and in effect allow people to take advantage of them
    and not be able to set up boundaries that are necessary in life. No, the point is that anger is
    something that needs to be a teaching tool to us to help us be more compassionate, more
    understanding and broadening our view of why people behave as they do and recognize the
    things we may see as slights, and they may be, are not worth being angry about and if we do
    not watch out, we will end many friendships that have been very positive in our lives and can
    ruin many future friendships through the use of anger. Another basic thought is to try to mellow
    out emotionally and just enjoy life as it comes and reserve anger for clear cases of inappropriate
    treatment and an important emotion to help you put up boundaries when necessary.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss MAKE THIS VALENTINE’S DAY ONE TO REMEMBER

    02-13-2024-

    MAKE THIS VALENTINE’S DAY ONE TO REMEMBER

    Some people argue that Valentine’s Day is made too big of a thing and that what is important to remember are the 365 days that proceed it. My focus on Valentine’s Day is to set the stage for the next 365 days to get ready for the next Valentine’s Day. This does not mean if someone has been non-caring for the past year that all is forgotten and forgiven on Valentine’s Day. No, my point is that whatever has occurred in the past year, make this Valentine’s Day one to remember by showing love and caring for your spouse or partner. It hopefully will be part of an ongoing river of love or a new beginning of bringing back to vitality damaged love. Too often, persons who love each other are so bogged down with activities of everyday living that they lose track of each other. Choose to let this Valentine’s Day be one you enhance your relationship and clearly put a marker down you love each other. Some ways to do this would include the following: 1. Say I love you with words, a card, an email, on Facebook or any other way you can let the person know you love them. 2. A hug, kiss with words of love always are positive expressions of love. 4. Chocolates and flowers are typical Valentine’s Day gifts but the important thing is to give the person something that shows meaningful love to them. There may be something you think is important to give the person, and by all means give that. However, with that said, it is also important to make sure you give the person that special something that is meaningful to them to show you love them and want to give something they know you know is important to them. The range of what that can be is literally anything within reason that the person desires you are capable of giving. 5. As possible, spend a day sharing love in whatever emotional or physical manner that is important to both of you. Sometimes just

    sharing time is the most important thing. 6. Going out to dinner, spending a night in a hotel, taking a walk together, watching a movie are within a range of things that can be important. I am even aware of a loving couple who are planning to make a pizza from scratch and eat it with a glass of wine, a lighted table candle and a gardenia aroma candle. As the saying goes, whatever floats your boat is what you want to do. 6. On a more serious level, if there are problems in the relationship you want corrected, make this Valentine’s Day memorable as you show your love unconditionally and indicate you are willing to do whatever you can to make the relationship have as much love and caring as possible. Let Cupid’s arrow of love have full reign!

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL HELPS A PERSON

    February 6, 2024- An emotional support anima(ESA) can be a great help for an individual in this complicated age loaded with anxiety, depression, and uncertainty. Persons are still recovering from the Covid lockdowns that caused so much emotional havoc due to social isolation and the lack of certainty in life they experienced. Research has shown that during the Covid lockdowns there was a noticeable increase in anxiety and depression in children and adults. It also was found that persons who had animals received much needed unconditional emotional support. At a more specific level, an emotional support animal can greatly reduce feelings of loneliness, anxiety, depression, and post traumatic stress disorder that many persons are experiencing and having problems overcoming. An ESA is another living creature who will give you unconditional love, companionship and also the opportunity to hug and share time with an animal that can be seen as solid emotional support in an often unforgiving world. I certainly see the advantages for a person who feels lonely with a lack of love and caring to seek out love and affection with an ESA as a form of treatment to help overcome suffering from various mental health conditions and feel some relief from the symptoms that can make life very difficult and sometimes even cause suicide ideation. Fortunately, emotional support animals are available to persons when there is an ESA letter verification by a mental health professional the person needs the emotional support animal as part of their treatment to help them be able to better maintain their emotional life. In fact, they are not really seen as an animal in the home or apartment, but are considered an emotional support animal who is part of a person’s treatment for conditions such as anxiety, depression or PTSD.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WAYS FOR LONELY ADULTS TO MAKE FRIENDS

    January 30, 2024- It is maybe not that strange that in a world with so much electronic contact and every imaginable streaming service available to a person, that there are so many lonely adults. A computer can never take the place of a living friend. While obviously there are also many lonely young persons, our focus here is on adults. One reason many adults do not have friends is that they were involved with friends who were the parents of the friends of their children. As the children became older and moved away, the friendships often retreated as everyone moved on to lead their own lives away from each other. The parent who may have been the center of family relationships may no longer have much close contact with family as children leave home and develop their own families and friendships. Additionally, the relatively shy person who does not feel comfortable developing friendships may have never learned how to develop them. Regardless of the reason why friendships do not develop in adults, they are critical for human beings to feel good about themselves from the vantage points of how others see them and they see themselves. The give-and-take of friendships can really warm the psyche of an individual. The great Roman orator and philosopher, Cicero, referred to a friend as “another you”. Someone you can share all your thoughts and feelings without being put down or criticized. The following are suggestions on what someone can do who feels lonely as an adult and desires friendships: 1. Make the choice of reaching out and determining to have a friendship with another human being, 2. Make yourself available as a starting point. 3. Call family and old friends to develop friendships in the now. 4. Join a club, church group, or any other organization and become an active member. That you have a reason to meet and interact with others could lead to friendships. 5. Take risks and share your feelings with a person or persons to develop a certain level of camaraderie and positive feelings about each other. 6. Be a reliable person while developing a friendship so that someone knows they can count on you. 7. Show the person you truly care about them. Talk about things that are important to them and let them know what is important to them is also important to you. If you have not developed or lost the ability to care for another person, work on it, and repeat affirmations you do care about others and you are going to try to understand them and relate to them as a caring human being. 8. Be willing to be vulnerable in a relationship and recognize there is potential for being hurt, but the potential for developing a friendship and being close with another person or persons make the risks worthwhile. This could be very delicate and difficult if a person has had problems with relationships in the past or has not been comfortable entering into friendships. If so,this is an area that needs to be worked on. 9. Seek out a trained therapist as you feel appropriate who knows about developing friendships to help you…. As you attempt to enter into a “New World” to develop friendships that can last the rest of your life, look forward to it.The voyage may be rocky and difficult, but the rewards are remarkable as being lonely is very sad and bad for a person’s physical and mental health.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO SHOW PEOPLE THEY MATTER TO YOU

    January 16, 2024 We live in an age where more and more persons are isolated from each other and often their major communication is not with human beings but with computers and other electronic devices. This isolation also is enhanced for many by working at home, a breakdown in the traditional and extended family, less involvement and participation in community, social and church organizations. The rise in percentages of persons with anxiety and depression is not surprising because humans as a whole need and thrive with human interaction and the acknowledgment they belong and matter to others. Each of us can help persons by showing they matter to us. This will help enhance their self-esteem and desire to see more purpose in their lives. The following are ways to show people they matter in your life: 1. Make time for them. This is very basic and very critical. 2. Let them know they matter to you. 3. Explain how they matter to you. 4. Listen to their concerns with attention and sincere interest. 5. Show genuine compassion and understanding. 6. Be available in the present if needed. 7. Believe in and support their dreams they are trying to accomplish in their lives. 8. If it is someone you work with or regularly interact, always have a smile and be available if they desire to talk. 9. Be positive and do what you can to help the person kick out negativity. 10. Encourage hope. It is critical in good and bad times to help keep a person moving forward with hope as they do what they feel must be done to be successful in their lives.11. In discussions with them, focus on them and not you or some other person.12. Let persons know you are grateful for whatever they are doing that you appreciate. This can be family members, coworkers, employees, employers, community persons, political leaders, or anyone you have gratitude. 13. In the case of children, spouses, and other loved ones, constantly acknowledge them and let them know how much they matter to you. They may know you love them and appreciate that, but always let them know how much they matter to you. 14. Regularly verify over and over again that they matter to you…Some of these things may seem obvious, but it is important we let persons know they matter to us. When persons feel they do not matter to others, the isolation they feel in this electronic age can lead to not only depression and anxiety, but also even suicide ideation. There is no cost to letting persons know they matter to us and the benefits to them feeling better knowing they matter to others can keep or enhance positivity in them. You will receive appreciation from them from your efforts helping them enhance their self-esteem and performance in life by you singling them out and letting them know they matter to you.