guilt Archives - Regional Psychological Services

Jun 7, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with family, dealing with guilt, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, emotional pain, guilt, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss Positive and Negative Guilt

June 6, 2023 Guilt is a very difficult thing for most persons to get right. Therapists will tell you that a good percentage of their clients suffer from some form of guilt. The problem is knowing what is positive guilt versus negative guilt. Positive guilt is when a person is aware they have done something wrong to another person and tries to make amends as best as can be done,and then let’s it go. This can be done by directly talking to the person and indicating they have done wrong and trying to do whatever can best be done to overcome the harm that has been caused and make things right. Problems occur when a person carries guilt even after they have done all they can to correct it. This does not mean the person has not done wrong, but to carry guilt for something that is resolved or cannot be resolved is a waste of time and can drag a person down. This does not mean the person does not have some bad feelings about what has been done, but is aware to carry guilt around will drag them down emotionally and interfere with their own psyche and interactions with other persons. It also can result in someone playing the role of martyr, which is not healthy for anyone involved. The martyr uses guilt to control a person with guilt that never ends. Negative guilt is the type that manifests itself with poor self-esteem, unrealistic expectations of what one can do, and often feeling guilty for things they have no control. An example would be something a mayor has done in a city that somehow the citizen feels they are guilty. To feel bad about something that a mayor has done is reasonable, but it is not reasonable to carry guilt and feel bad for something they have no control. It is a clear waste of time and can lead not only to poor self esteem but also anxiety,shame,social withdrawal,insomnia and depression. Another example would be if a relative or friend does something wrong and somehow the person carries the guilt for the act or behavior when in reality they have no control over what has occurred. A person with reasonable guilt is able to recognize when they do wrong and the recognition of what they have done and the attempt to resolve it will build strength, not only in themselves but in their relationships with others. This is the goal of a person who means well, but is aware that human beings fail and the best of us make mistakes that can hurt other persons. It is also important persons learn from what occurred and not do it again.

Dec 16, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, chronic pain, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with family, dealing with guilt, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, emotional pain, guilt, illness, john braccio, pain, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, terminal illness, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss HOW TO SENSITIVELY INTERACT WITH THOSE IN CHRONIC DAILY PAIN OR PAINFUL LIFE THREATENING ILLNESS

12-13-2022

Persons with chronic pain or painful life threatening illness often suffer from depression,insomnia,anxiety,stress,anger,substance/alcohol abuse and even hopelessness and suicide. A further problem is persons with chronic pain or illness often feel isolated because persons often do not know how to interact with them because they cannot relate to their problems even if they understand it would be very difficult if not horrible to always be in chronic pain or a painful life threatening illness. Based on long term experience with persons on both sides of this situation,the following are recommendations meant to help persons interact sensitively and effectively with those in chronic pain or chronically ill: 1.Be open and honest. 2.Listen to how their condition impacts them both physically and emotionally. 3.Be tolerant to a possible uncharacteristic negative and even angry mood. 4.Make sure the meeting is not about you and your feelings or pains. 5.Let them know you care and will be helpful any way possible. 6.Do not compare their situation with someone else. 7.Use active listening to fully understand their feelings. 8,Read up on the effects of chronic pain and illness on someone both psychologically and physically.

Dec 29, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, changing behavior, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with family, dealing with guilt, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, emotional pain, financial pressures, guilt, john braccio, new years resolutions, Parenting, psychologist, resolutions, talk radio, wils, work

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 IMPLEMENT THE CHOICES TO MAKE 2022 YOUR BEST YEAR EVER.

IMPLEMENT THE CHOICES TO MAKE 2022 YOUR BEST YEAR EVER.

12-28-21

Most of us do not focus enough on how the course of our lives is predominately determined by the choices we make day in and day out. 2022 can be a time we make resolutions/goals/choices that are realistic and can be broken into segments where a few failures will not lead to dropping the whole process. Useful resolutions/goals/choices would include the following. 1.Do not let perfect interfere with good and very good. 2.Exercise and overall health program. 3.An honest evaluation of the appropriateness of your job for your dreams and abilities. 4.Do not let fear and routine stop you from finding ways to make dreams come true. 5.Never ending learning plan. 6.Written resolutions that are monitored and tweaked as needed. 7.Kind self-affirmations. 8.Listen to learn more in interactions with others. 9.Be a caring friend. 10.Enhance current and past relationships with family and friends to be more meaningful. 11.Live in the present and prepare for the future without letting the past ruin both. 12.Regardless of age,prepare for retirement. 13.Improve your problem solving skills for yourself and those around you. 14.Develop tools to overcome procrastination. 15.Make sure you have enough balance between work and play/fun. 16.Always make time for those you love and care for. 17.As with a garden,work on your relationship with your spouse or significant other daily. 18.Be financially responsible. 19.Enhance your spirituality/moral code to both help you day to day and also to give you purpose and more meaning for your life..As you can see,this list could be endless. The important thing is for each of us to realistically look inwardly and find areas we want to improve,clearly write them out,prioritize which ones to work on in a realistic manner,and finally implement them on January 1,2022 or whenever you decide to begin. Be aware,eighty percent of traditional new year resolutions are no longer followed by February 15. You want to plan wisely and be part of the twenty percent.

Dec 27, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with family, dealing with guilt, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, emotional pain, financial pressures, guilt, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils, work

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly CAUSES OF MENTAL FATIGUE/BURNOUT &HOW TO COMBAT THEM- subscribe to our page!

12-21-2021 Mental Fatigue/Burnout is when a person is overwhelmed emotionally and finds it hard to complete even simple tasks without great effort and often with many mistakes. It is the psychological equivalent of being physically exhausted. It is when life’s expectations far exceed one’s ability to complete them. Causes of Mental Fatigue/Burnout would include the following: 1. Caregiving. 2. Impossible timelines. 3. Excessive responsibilities. 4. Lack of sleep. 5.Substance/alcohol/prescription abuse. 6.Inappropriate prescription drugs. 7. Depression. 8.Anxiety 9. Lack of focus. 10.Wrong profession/Project. 11.Physical pain. 12.Isolation/loneliness. 13.Lack of life purpose. 14.Lack of mindful exercise and thought. 15.Excessive electronic communication. 16.Lack of recreation and fun activities…As you can see, there are many causes for Mental Fatigue/Burnout. The following are some strategies to overcome Mental Fatigue/Burnout: 1. Determine if you are in the right job or life environment. 2. Take periodic timeouts when needed. 3. Break life’s activities by priority. 4. Break activities into segments and take a break when completing one or more determined segments. 5. Have fun. 6. Take long weekends as possible. 7. Implement a strong exercise regimen. 8.Music. 9. Develop hobbies. 10.Some combination of appropriate medications and counseling for better life perspective and to combat such conditions as anxiety, depression, and chronic pain. 11. Mindfulness to make life choices that enhance your happiness and purpose in life. 12.Appropriate sleep. 13. Turn off all electronic communications for determined periods of time

Dec 9, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, being happy, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with family, dealing with family during holidays, dealing with guilt, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, emotional pain, guilt, john braccio, Parenting, psychological happiness, psychologist, talk radio, thankgiving, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss THANKSGIVING IS A DAY WE ALL CAN GIVE THANKS-subscribe to our page!

In an age that fault can be found even in the most benign of situations, Thanksgiving Day remains a holiday all of us can live in the moment and find things we can be grateful. I personally find this is my favorite holiday because it does not relate to gifts or homage to any particular person,place or thing. It is a day of peace and enjoyment for individuals, friends, family and acquaintances as they get together individually or in some combination to give thanks. Typical things to be grateful for would include the following: 1.Life2.Family. 3.Health. 4.Leisure 5.Loving animals. 6.Strong friendships. 7.A place to live. 8.Love of country. 9.Parents. 10. Children. 11. Comforting spiritual thoughts and beliefs. 12. Mobility. 13. Love. 14. Food. 15. Music. 16. Television, phone and other electrical devices. 17.Car and other vehicles. 18. Good humor. 19. Movies. 20. Good mental and physical health care. 21. Good self-image. 22. Shopping. 23.Freedom. 24. Flowers. 25. The great outdoors. 26 Chocolate and other desserts. 27. Colors. 28. Loving animals. 29.Weekends. 30 Receiving caring letters,notes and emails. 31 Laughter 32.Vacations. 33.Shopping. 34.Surprises 35.Books 36.Any other thing that crosses your mind and gives you something to give thanks…This list of what to be grateful for simply came to my mind as I was thinking about it. They obviously all do not relate to one person. There also are countless others that are not included. They simply give some idea of the many things we can give thanks for this 2021 Thanksgiving Day. I personally give thanks to anyone who is reading this and finds it at all helpful.

Nov 18, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, being happy, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with family, dealing with guilt, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, emotional pain, guilt, john braccio, Parenting, psychologically healthy, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss THE PSYCHOLOGICALLY HEALTHY PERSON

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss THE PSYCHOLOGICALLY HEALTHY PERSON 11-16-21 Persons usually talk about psychological problems rather than addressing the characteristics of the psychologically healthy person. Typical characteristics of the psychologically healthy person would include the following: Number one. Appropriately express and experience emotions. Number two Adaptable to stress and pressure. Number three. Courteous and friendly. Number four. Authentic and honest. Number five. Emotionally secure and stable. Number six. Confident. Number seven. Loving and affectionate…This is not to say the psychologically healthy person must have all of these characteristics in full force, but that they are the characteristics that tend to comprise the mentally healthy personality. Even if someone would not mention these specific characteristics and would come up with some different ones, the end result is that a person generally can tell who is or is not psychologically healthy. The key thing for all of us is to try to continuously improve ourselves and become as psychologically healthy as possible.

Nov 9, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with guilt, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, emotional pain, guilt, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss EMOTIONAL PAIN RESULTING FROM A “FALSE GUILT COMPLEX”

November 9, 2021 EMOTIONAL PAIN RESULTING FROM A “FALSE GUILT COMPLEX” To feel guilty when having done something wrong to another person or even letting oneself down from doing what one made a commitment to do is reasonable, but to feel guilty and often emotionally overwhelmed for something someone has not done is how I would define a false guilt complex. Examples would include the following: 1. Feeling guilty and emotionally drained as a caregiver for a loved one when one feels their needs cannot be met. This is a very common problem in this age as we live longer and there can be tremendous pressure on spouses and family members to look after their loved ones but feel guilty when their own needs are not met and they are overwhelmed by their responsibilities. 2. Feeling bad due to the success you are having when someone else is not being successful. 3. Having thoughts that one considers amoral and/or wrong that make them feel evil and/or someone not living up to their unreasonable moral code. 4. Being convinced one is bad and not doing enough for other persons. 5. Replaying negative tapes from the person’s youth that they were not a good person and would never be a good person. 6. A firm belief one is morally inferior to others and can never live up to their own expectations. 7. The belief one is always offending persons in the interactions they have with others and cannot be convinced they have not done this even if persons say directly to them that there has been nothing offensive said. 8. The belief one is so bad/evil that no one could ever love or care for them…If one does not overcome their false guilt complex, they can never be happy because of their ingrained belief of how bad they are. The false guilt complex can lead to such problems as low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, tearfulness, phobias, panic attacks, physical problems, and even self-hate. Due to how ingrained these beliefs can be in the person, success in overcoming them is very difficult. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is when a person replaces these irrational thoughts with positive thoughts. This is a good way to try to overcome the false guilt complex. A trained therapist and sometimes clergy are professionals who can be helpful in treatment.

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