infidelity Archives - Page 3 of 3 - Regional Psychological Services

Nov 24, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, holidays, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly 1320 AM discuss- A SALUTE TO THANKSGIVINGS DAY

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly 1320 AM discuss- A SALUTE TO THANKSGIVINGS DAY 11-24-2020 Thanksgiving is the one day a year we all need to kick out all negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. In psychology,that is called COGNITIVE RESTRUCTURING. It is my favorite day because the vast majority of persons have positive non-judgmental feelings about it. That is unique in this age of rage and the ongoing pressures of the Pandemic. This is the time to think about positive things in the present as well as from the past. We can focus on good family memories,positive work experiences,enjoyable readings,enjoyable music,sporting victories,friendship magical moments,and events of spiritual and/or moral growth. The list can go on and on. The main thing is to give thanksgiving for what you have now and have had in the past in the form of memories. Those are things we can give super positive focus on this 2020 Thanksgiving Day! Go for them and get them! Happy Thanksgiving!

Nov 19, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly WHY GRATEFULNESS PRIOR TO THANKSGIVING IS IMPORTANT DURING THE PANDEMIC WITH EXPANDING RESTRICTIONS

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS 11-17-2020 WHY GRATEFULNESS PRIOR TO THANKSGIVING IS IMPORTANT DURING THE PANDEMIC WITH EXPANDING RESTRICTIONS As Michigan and other states have even been adding more restrictions prior to Thanksgiving,people already weary must adapt to new restrictions which will result in millions of persons not being with many loved ones and friends during this Thanksgiving period. Even worse,many persons will be alone from now until after Thanksgiving. This year,Thanksving,generally a time of happiness for the vast majority,will be a difficult time emotionally for most. With that said,even in this very difficult period,it is good for our own mental health to show gratefulness for what we have and help others having a hard time. The following are ways we can show gratefulness even in these difficult pandemic times: 1.Call persons from your past or even more recently who helped advance you in life and thank them. 2.Call persons to cheer them up when you know or believe they are not doing well. 3.For many,be grateful for the time to further develop your spirituality and individual relationship with your God. 4.With or without a sense of spirituality,this is a time to be grateful to evaluate and more strongly develop your moral code. 5.Be grateful for the time to contact friends and other persons for long interactions which you probably would not have had without the extra time.

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss OCD AND THE PANDEMIC 11-10-2020

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss OCD AND THE PANDEMIC 11-10-2020 The pandemic impacts all of us to one degree or another. Persons with OCD(OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER) can suffer very severe psychological dysfunction due to it. The characteristics of this psychological disorder are far above average unreasonable thoughts and fears(OBSESSIONS) that result in compulsive behaviors to help reduce the anxiety The condition can be severe in times of relative normality. Common types of OCD INCLUDE CONTAMINATION,HOARDING,INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS,CONSTANT CHECKING,INCESSANT HAND WASHING AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT WOULD SEEM ABSURD TO ANYONE ELSE. The anxiety can only be relieved by the compulsive behavior. Prognosis is not good and the person needs to always be on guard so as not to return to the compulsion and to add others. The following are some remedies to use during the pandemic: 1.KEEP IN CONTACT WITH PERSONS. 2.DO NOT SOCIAL ISOLATE. 3.PRACTICE SOCIAL DISTANCE 4.WASH HANDS REASONABLY,DO NOT TOUCH THE FACE AND WEAR MASKS. 5.DO NOT OBSESS OVER THINGS THE PERSON CANNOT CONTROL. 6.STAY IN CONTACT WITH THERAPIST OR SEEK ONE OUT IF NECESSARY. 7.TAKE CARE OF BASIC PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDS. 8.EXERCISE DAILY. 9.ELIMINATE NEWS,PEOPLE AND CIRCUMSTANCES THAT CAUSE ANXIETY. 10.MAINTAIN A CONSISTENT AND REASONABLE ROUTINE.

Nov 2, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, Self Help, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss THE GROWING EPIDEMIC OF SENIOR SUBSTANCE/ALCOHOL ABUSE

October 27, 2020 THE GROWING EPIDEMIC OF SENIOR SUBSTANCE/ALCOHOL ABUSE. Substance/alcohol abuse is a growing problem among seniors.(I am defining them as one in this podcast). There is an estimation that substance abuse among seniors will be 5.7 million in 2020. That is double the 2006 count. It has been called by some the “SILENT EPIDEMIC”. Common concerns of seniors would include the following: 1.RETIREMENT WITH LACK OF PURPOSE. 2.FINANCIAL PROBLEMS. 3.LOSS OF SPOUSE AND/OR LOVED ONES. 4.HEALTH PROBLEMS. 5.CHRONIC PAIN. 5.INSOMNIA. 6.LOW SELF-WORTH. 7.HISTORY OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE. 8.NOT ACKNOWLEDGING THE MAGNITUDE OF THE PROBLEM. 9.LONELINESS. 9LOSS OF SPIRITUALITY. These problem areas can lead seniors to abuse drugs and alcohol trying to reduce their physical and/or psychological pain. It also is true many seniors grew up in the sixties and still have inappropriate awareness of the dangers of substance abuse they are risking. Because seniors often are not working or do not have daily routines or day to day responsibilities,it is easy for caring family and friends to not notice or be aware of their symptoms of drug and alcohol abuse. Symptoms that can be confused with aging would include the following: 1.MEMORY LOSS. 2.SLURRED SPEECH. 3.MOBILITY PROBLEMS. 4.ANGER. 5.UNPREDICTABLE MOOD SWINGS. 6.DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY LEVELS. 7.POOR PHYSICAL HYGIENE. 8.LACK OF INTEREST IN USUALLY PLEASURABLE ACTIVITIES. 9.FALLING EPISODES. 10UNEXPLAINED BRUISES. 11.LACK OF CONTACT WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS….Sometimes it is necessary for family and/or friends to confront the person in an attempt to help end the abuse. The use of a trained therapist can be helpful…When the senior decides there is a problem and wants to overcome it,the following can be helpful: 1.FAMILY AND FRIENDS SUPPORT. 2.CLERGY. 3.APPROPRIATE MEDICATION. 4.SUPPORT GROUPS. 5.DETOXIFICATION THAT CAN INCLUDE INPATIENT TREATMENT. 6.OUTPATIENT SUBSTANCE ABUSE COUNSELING. 7.COUNSELING TO ADDRESS NON-SUBSTANCE AND ALCOHOL ABUSE RELATED PROBLEM AREAS.

Oct 19, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

BEHAVIORS OF HUMAN PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATORS

On 10-13-2020 Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss BEHAVIORS OF HUMAN PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATORS The caring and trusting human being is the perfect victim for the psychological manipulator. The manipulator has no sense of right or wrong and only wants to dominate and cause psychological havoc in the victim. The goal is to be on top and always right. They prey on human weakness and can through their negative human cunning lead persons to be confused on long-held beliefs. They even can convince persons to change on beliefs that are critical to good self-esteem and ethical living. Good human interaction on ideas and beliefs are critical for persons to change as their lives unfold…Typical behaviors of the psychological manipulator would include the following: 1.Guilt. 2.Find your weaknesses and use them against you. 3.Undermine your self-confidence by convincing you of how you are so flawed. 4.Convince you that you are always wrong. 5.Never offers respect and caring except to deviously use as manipulative psychological tactics. 6. Deceitfully talks negatively about you with your friends and associates to undermine your relationships. Amazingly, some human psychological predators are so effective they succeed at this. 7.They love the psychological havoc they cause and never stop until they no longer can be successful at it. When that happens, they look for the next victim…The best defense is developing good self-esteem and surrounding yourself with trusted friends and family who can help you not fall under what appears to be a psychological spell that sadly is cast over you. Priests, ministers and therapists can be helpful when friends and family are not available or the power over you does not allow you to regain psychological control over self. The road to recovery can be long and difficult.

Oct 1, 2020 braccioj Blog 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio discuss with Dave Akerly WHEN SILENCE IS GOLDEN.

SEPTEMBER 29, 2020

WHEN SILENCE IS GOLDEN. We live in an age of talkers whether it is IN-PERSON, TELEVISION, MEDIA, EMAILS, TWITTER,iPhones, FACEBOOK, FACETIME, MESSAGING, DUO, ZOOM, and on and on in an always changing endless stream. In such an age, there are many times that the metaphor of GOLDEN with SILENCE rings true. Included are times when active listening, good communication, understanding, sensitivity, tolerance, intelligence, and intuition lead us to realize when SILENCE IS GOLDEN. It is amazing how many people to their own detriment never learn this.

Oct 1, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio Discusses with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM STOP SELF-SABOTAGING YOURSELF- 9-22-20

STOP SELF-SABOTAGING YOURSELF Too many people let small setbacks in their daily lives result in the proverbial “thousand cuts” that will stop them from fulfilling their overall goals. The most common of these would include breaking a diet,having a cigarette,or not exercising because of a failure on a given day. People too often after a brief failure go back to the default behaviors that need to be eliminated. We must say as the British have said- “rubbish”-and go back to our original plan. These small self-sabotaging setbacks too often are representative of the person’s overall behaviors and carry over to bigger life goals. These include education,spirituality/moral development,relationship building, career advancement training and behaviors,happiness seeking, and other life altering activities because of a setback that discourages them from going forward and self-sabotages their dreams and goals. Even in the midst of difficulties and seemingly extremely difficult challenges, we must keep our eye on the ball and not self-sabotage our future. Those who persevere in life need not be the smartest but they clearly work the hardest to achieve their dreams and goals and do not let defeats stop them. Rather than self-sabotaging,we must see a temporary defeat not as final but something to learn from and not do again. Life can be a very exciting experience if we look upon daily activities and challenges as exciting new tasks to successfully accomplish. To not do this can lead to an unhappy life because of self-sabotaging behaviors and always wondering what could have happened in their lives if they had consistently pursued their dreams and goals.

Sep 18, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio Discusses with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM DEVELOPING RESILIENCE DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 9-15-20

DEVELOPING RESILIENCE DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC. More and more people are reporting anxiety, depression, even suicide, substance abuse, family conflicts, work-related problems, and obsessive-compulsive behavior resulting as the devastation of the Covid-19 pandemic extends over more and more time. It is critical during this ongoing crisis to not let it wear down your resiliency like a battery gradually going dead. This is when people develop what can often be severe mental health conditions as well as substance abuse. What persons need to do is get enough sleep, be hydrated, exercise, focus on what is positive in their lives, further develop spiritual and/or moral purpose in their lives, finding a new normal and enjoyment in it, seek out professional help as needed, think positively and kick out negative thoughts, continue social interactions with friends and family, be tolerant in the home and in other social settings, develop more in-home hobbies and/or educational options, and recognize the pandemic will end and you want to come out of it as mentally and physically healthy as possible. It will occur if you follow some of these suggestions as well as others you find to specifically be helpful for you.

Sep 11, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss INTIMATE COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGES REQUIRES A WILLINGNESS TO BE VULNERABLE TO POSSIBLE BETRAYAL AND/OR INDIFFERENCE

INTIMATE COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGES REQUIRES A WILLINGNESS TO BE VULNERABLE TO POSSIBLE BETRAYAL AND/OR INDIFFERENCE Fear of betrayal and/or indifference are mayor reasons people choose not to share deep feelings about themselves. They may have never learned how to trust or when they did people used the information as a tool to hurt them,including telling other people their deepest secrets that were only to be shared with that person. In a marriage,particularly during the time of the pandemic when couples and families are often in a lockdown mode for large periods of time,this can be a time to try to rekindle old feelings and share deep inner thoughts. Often,the couple has simply stopped sharing deep feelings due to the routine of everyday life taking over. If so,go back to the beginning and start anew. With couples or individual spouses who have never shared but have working marriages,take the risk and begin sharing deep feelings. It can be scary and difficult,but the emotional rewards can be overwhelmingly positive as the marriage accelerates into a merging of two person’s feelings into one. Someone needs to take the risk to begin. Why not you? Taking into account the wondrous possibilities for personal growth and love enhancement,why not start the process today? It may be awkward to begin,but the bountiful possible rewards to the marriage make it all very worthwhile. As the old Pepsi add proclaimed: GO FOR THE GUSTO!

Sep 1, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly on 1320 AM discuss REASONS SPOUSES SABOTAGE THE DREAMS AND GOALS OF EACH OTHER.

It is unfortunate how often spouses, even those who genuinely love each other, sabotage the dreams and goals of each other. Reasons would include the following: Wanting more control. Competition. Lack of security. Control over family finances. Wants more attention. Lack of trust. Dislike of roles and a desire to change them. Jealousy. Differing views on lifestyle. Anger. Inability to effectively problem solve. Getting even for perceived unfairness or disliked behavior. Deviousness. Dishonesty. Parenting differences. Strong disagreements on who controls specific aspects of the marriage. Disagreements on responsibilities. Friendships. Spirituality or lack thereof…The ability for spouses to be able to discuss these and other problem areas and eliminate them through a combination of honest soul searching, active listening, non-judgmental interaction, and genuine compromise in problem-solving mode is critical to success.

Aug 25, 2020 braccioj Blog 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly Discuss NOT ALLOWING PILES OF STONES TO STOP YOU FROM CLIMBING THE MOUNTAINS OF YOUR DREAMS 8-25-20

Life is made up of opportunities and obstacles. With the right mindset,this combination can make life exhilarating or very stressful and unfulfilling. We need to see obstacles as opportunities for resolution rather than insolvable problems that stop us from moving forward to meet our dreams. Do not realize as your life is marching on that your lack of fulfillment as a human being is because you have always taken the easy way out and never have realized your dreams which were within reach with the right attitude and dedication. If this is true with you,do not focus on lost opportunities. They are gone. You must now bring forth new dreams and chase them with resolute commitment and effort. Highly happy and successful people regularly state they loved the road travelled to achieve their dreams as much as the dreams themselves. Dreams vary with the person. They can range from being a business tycoon or major political figure to completing a certificate of achievement for self-fulfillment.

Aug 20, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio speaks with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM on HUGE DEPRESSION INCREASE CAUSED BY THE PANDEMIC

Dr John & Dave Akerly 8-18-20 HUGE DEPRESSION INCREASE CAUSED BY THE PANDEMIC One need not be a psychologist to see the emotional havoc caused by the pandemic in so many people we interact. The most current and immediate crisis aspect of the pandemic is how to educate our children at all levels ranging from pre-school to the university. Recent information from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention(CDC) is almost shocking even while seeing daily the fears so many Americans have as well as those around the world. The rates of symptoms for Depression have increased 400 percent from a year ago in responses to a survey. Not far behind is Anxiety with a 300 percent increase. In addition to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy(CBT) and appropriate medication,the following are some strategies to use to overcome Depression. 1.Notice the heroes who work every day to make our lives livable. 2.Think positive scenarios to stories/fantasies/thoughts that come to our mind. Be a positive storyteller to ourselves. 3.Reach out physically—safely —,visually or by phone to get human contact. We are social animals and need this. 4.Find ways to help others and not focus on self. Depression makes it hard to focus on anything outside of one’s own suffering. 5.Look for things to enjoy in the moment to overcome negative thoughts and feelings. 6.Get up and do something physically! Just taking a walk can be most helpful. Depression often leads to inactivity which is breeding ground for the negative symptoms of Depression that can overwhelm a person. 7.Develop psychologically supportive spirituality consistent with your beliefs.

Jul 7, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr John & Dave Akerly 7-7-20 THE PSYCHOLOGICAL DEVASTATION OF PARENTAL ALIENATION ON CHILDREN

A study from some years ago says 11-15% of divorces result in some form of parental alienation. Even if the numbers are smaller,anyone who has seen the severe psychological damage done to children when they experience parental alienation and/or when they are adults,the damage is clear. It is severe child abuse. Children want to love and be loved by both parents. It is confusing and psychologically damaging to the child when taught to hate a good parent while constantly hearing everything bad about him or her. This hatred can be extended to all friends and family members of the alienated parent. Such alienation can lead to self-contempt for being the child of someone so horrible. Depression,low self-esteem,anxiety,PTSD,future alienation from their own children,poor relationships,divorces,substance abuse/alcoholism,abandonment issues,unable to trust,unable to love,guilt-ridden,weak personal boundaries and long term inappropriate personal hated for a parent who may have been a loving parent…This is not a pretty picture. I have seen a lot of horrible parental alienation behavior to know all of us need to do whatever we can to not allow it to happen. The psychological devastation to the alienated children can carry on for generations with poor interactions with their children and partner relationships. School personnel,family members,judges,friends of the court,clergy,therapists and friends of the alienating parent can all try to help stop the alienating process. It is very difficult but we all can try with hopefully some success.

Jun 30, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

HOW TO DEVELOP A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF WHEN ALL YOU FIND ARE NEGATIVES

6-30-20 Dr John Braccio and Dave Akerly on 1320 AM WILS discuss HOW TO DEVELOP A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF WHEN ALL YOU FIND ARE NEGATIVES

When thinking of building stronger relationships, we usually think of them pertaining to couples or maybe friendships, families, working persons, or groups of one type or another. That eliminates the arguably most important relationship one has: The one with yourself. The following are some suggestions that can be helpful: 1. STOP SHAMING YOURSELF WITH SENSELESS NEGATIVITY. 2. NOONE HAS DIED COMPLAINING THEY WERE TOO HAPPY AND POSITIVE IN LIFE. JOIN THIS GROUP FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 3. STOP SELF-DESTRUCTIVE VIRTUE SIGNALING AND SELF-ABSORBED HATRED OF SELF THAT ONLY DESTROYS YOUR LIFE AND WILL PUSH POSITIVE AND HAPPY PEOPLE AWAY FROM YOU. 4. BE OPEN TO OPPORTUNITIES YOU HAVE AND BUILD ON THEM. 5. SEEK OUT OPPORTUNITIES AND DO NOT THROW THEM AWAY DUE TO SELF DEPREDATION OF ABILITY AND ABILITY. 6. DEDICATE PERIODS OF TIME IN DAYS TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF EVEN IN THE FACE OF FIERCE OPPOSITION FROM YOUR INNER CRITIC. 7. TREAT YOURSELF TO THE KINDNESS AND ACCEPTANCE YOU GIVE TO OTHERS IN SPITE OF THE HUMAN FLAWS THEY HAVE AS DO ALL HUMAN BEINGS. 8. RECOGNIZE HUMAN HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE YOU AND ONLY YOU CAN MAKE FOR YOURSELF. 9. SEEK PURPOSE IN YOUR LIFE THROUGH A RELIGIOUS OR SECULAR HUMANISTIC PERSPECTIVE

Jun 23, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY STABLE AND HAPPY IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE

In our segments on marriage we have discussed various aspects of marriage. Today we discuss how a spouse lives emotionally stable and happy in a marriage they have decided to stay in for whatever the reason when love is gone. The following techniques can be used to reach this end: 1.DO NOT ALLOW THE LACK OF LOVE IN THE MARRIAGE TO DEFINE YOU. 2.DETACH YOURSELF EMOTIONALLY FROM YOUR SPOUSE. 3.QUIT TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR SPOUSE. 4.FIND SATISFACTION IN PERSONAL ENHANCEMENT,GROUP ACTIVITIES,AND FRIENDSHIPS. 5.LET ANGER,DISILLUSIONMENT,SELF-CRITICISM,HURT,HATE AND EVEN RAGE BE REPLACED WITH THE PEACE THAT COMES FROM ACCEPTING A NEW ROAD AND OPPORTUNITIES IN LIFE. 6.DROP UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS FOR YOURSELF. 7.QUIT FAULTFINDING…The goal is to live as emotionally stable and happy as one can as one lives in a marriage without love. Spiritual and professional support can be very helpful.

May 13, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Failing Marriage, infidelity, Marriage, relationships, successful marriage

HOW THE BETRAYED SPOUSE CAN FORGIVE EXTRAMARITAL BETRAYAL AND SAVE THE MARRIAGE

This is the third podcast on extramarital affairs. The first podcast was on reasons why partners have affairs and the second was on what the betraying spouse must do to try to save the marriage and love of the spouse. This segment is what the betrayed spouse needs to do to determine to stay in the marriage. As a starting point, the betraying spouse must show total remorse, total honesty, and a full commitment to the spouse and the marriage. If you determine to make an honest attempt to save the marriage, the following are representative of what must occur: 1. Obtain all the facts you need from your partner. No question is out of bounds. As painful as this is, it is a critical aspect of your healing and ability to move forward. 2. Ongoing discussion about your feelings and what the affair did to you. Use the “I feel” statements rather than the accusatory “You made me feel” statements. 3. Engage in “active listening” where the spouse lets the other get all feelings out in the open with the other spouse quietly listening to fully understand and not respond or challenge the conclusions or statements. This is very hard to do. The offending spouse will need to develop this skill or there will be many heated interactions. You will also need to be able to use active listening to fully understand the betraying spouse. 4.A need for open discussion about the affair to get everything out over an extended period of time. 5. Try to limit the amount of time talking about the affair on a daily basis. Both spouses need conversation and activities separate from the affair. This will be strongly determined by you. 6. Expect many soul searching moments where the emotional pain can return in extreme amounts and you question if you could ever love or trust your spouse again. 7. If both spouses really want the relationship to work and the period of time needed by you to move forward is used by both to save the marriage, then it can occur. Be aware the process will predictably be long and hard on both spouses. The emotional mountains to climb to move forward and understand why and how the extramarital occurred are very difficult to climb but must be done. 8. The amount of time needed to fully commit to saving the marriage varies with the betrayed spouse and can only be determined by that person…I am a positive person. I have worked with many betrayed spouses over the decades who have overcome the horrible betrayal of a spouse and have gone back to loving and successful marriages. Both spouses need to work in overdrive to have this occur. There also is the need during this whole soul-searching time to look at problems that existed prior to the extramarital affair and make sure by both persons that they never occur again and are rooted out in the whole reconciliation process.

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May 6, 2020 braccioj Blog, Podcasts cheating, infidelity, relationships, trust

WHAT A SPOUSE MUST DO WHO HAS HAD AN EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR TO TRY TO SAVE THE MARRIAGE.

Due to the immense pain experienced by the spouse who has been forced to recognize their spouse has been unfaithful,it is not surprising it is so difficult for the love and trust to be rekindled. I again want to emphasize how difficult it is for both persons to effectively overcome the betrayal. The following are some suggested actions that predictably are needed to be implemented by the betraying spouse to ever hope to be able to return to a loving relationship: 1.Absolute termination of the affair with proof presented as needed. 2.Genuine remorse. 3.Honesty. Answer all questions over and over again as necessary. 4.Patience, patience and even more patience. It will take a long time and you must expect much anger and hurt directed to you. 5. Take responsibility. You did it! 6. Control your anger. You caused the problems you are having and must deal with the consequences. 7. Become an active listener to try to fully understand the emotional hurt and pain you have caused…These are very difficult things for an individual to do and sadly the result is often failure or both spouses living in a very unhappy or mediocre marriage. You absolutely do not want either of those results. The above suggested actions are necessary if you desire to return to a loving and caring relationship. For emphasis, the damage is sadly often such that the marriage cannot be saved. It also is true that even in relationships that are saved, the passion, understanding, intimacy, loving, and general happiness are often never again fully achieved. With that said, you can be successful in rekindling your relationship if both spouses desire a loving marriage to continue and total honesty and sincere remorse are fully demonstrated to the betrayed spouse.

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Tag: infidelity