psychologist Archives - Page 4 of 8 - Regional Psychological Services

Jul 6, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts Anxiety, braccio, cheating, children and covid, couples therapy, dealing with difficult people, Depression, Divorce, friendships, hope, infidelity, meaning in life, mental health and covid, professional help, psychologist, psychology, psychology of life, raising children, relationship, relationships, schools and covid, trust in relationships, wisdom

Dr Braccio podcast on Infidelity

Dr. Braccio discusses infidelity and the costs of cheating in a relationship, particularly in a marriage. Infidelity can lead to divorce and parental disruption. Yet many stray anyway, prompting the question: Why? Dr. Braccio believes any marriage can be saved if both persons love each other and are willing to do the hard work to save it. He gives you helpful and proven strategies to do it.

Jun 30, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, Love, mental health students, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, resilience, school shootings, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, uvalde, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss CARING FOR FAMILY CAREGIVERS

June 21, 2022

We live in an age where millions of spouses,children and siblings look after beloved members of their families. In 2020,53 million Americans were offering unpaid care for adults with health or functional needs. This was an increase of 9.5 million from 2015. The most common caregiver is one spouse looking after the other. Another very common combination is a child or children looking after a parent. Too often, these caregivers are taken for granted and other family persons or caring non-family are not aware or minimize the problems they are experiencing or choose in some cases to ignore. The odds are quite high we have a family caregiver in this situation or know of one. The common issues caregivers have would include problems with managing time, physical and emotional distress, depression and isolation, financial concerns, sleep deprivation, guilt and fear of asking for support. Things that other family members, dear friends and caring persons can offer include the following: 1.Help with every day chores and needs. 2.Emotional/psychological support. 3.Help with healthcare needs. 4.As desired,give good advice. 5.Try to help them recognize their emotional and physical health are also priorities. 6.Make sure you do not use guilt in your support. 7.If asked,seek out support persons or agencies that can be of support. 8.Availability.

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly Discuss THE MACHIAVELLIAN MANIPULATOR IS VERY HARD TO IDENTIFY

June 28, 2022

Unlike the narcissist, common bully and sociopath who are relatively quickly found out to be who they are,the situation is very different with the Machiavellian Manipulator who skillfully pretends to fairly live within agreed upon social rules and norms. They often very cleverly work within the system to achieve maximum success for themselves regardless of the negative consequences for others. Because they deceitfully but effectively use all the correct words and techniques to advance,they are particularly hard to identify and often by the time they are identified their evil deeds have succeeded at your expense. Even after it happens,others may not be aware of what has happened and will continue to be part of their evil designs. The best way to determine if you are interacting with a Machiavellian Manipulator is to observe,listen to comments of others,discretely talk to others and observe outcomes from interactions they have with others. If you ever encountered one, you certainly are aware of how difficult they are to identify because they are seemingly working and interacting with others with the same agreed upon norms everybody is working under. A concise definition of manipulation is using inappropriate psychological techniques with other persons to control their thoughts and actions. It can happen in any setting. It is most common in close relationships such as family,spouses,friendships and work settings. Typical manipulation techniques would include using the following: Guilt. Blame. Complaints. Playing innocent or ignorant. Gaslighting. Lying. Bullying. Mind games. Insecurities/Weak spots,Mockery. Judging. When these techniques are skillfully camouflaged by the Machiavellian Manipulator,victims can be amazed and shocked when they learn what has or is negatively happening to them. If one is in such a relationship with a Machiavellian Manipulator,it is important to seek out supportive friends, colleagues and professional support to minimize the damage done to you socially,psychologically,personally and/or professionally.

Jun 14, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, Love, mental health students, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, resilience, school shootings, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, uvalde, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss BE A HAPPY INTROVERT

June 14, 2022

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It is pretty well known that in Western Society the extrovert(EXTERNALLY DIRECTED)is praised and often seen as the ideal. This can needlessly lead to the introvert(INTERNALLY DIRECTED)developing low self-esteem and seeing self as less than the extrovert. Because extroverts and introverts clearly seem to be wired differently, it becomes important for each person to accept who they are and nurture their particular characteristics. The following are typical characteristics introverts have which need to be cherished,nurtured and enjoyed as opposed to being seen as negative: 1.Need for less social interaction. 2.Greater interpersonal intimacy. 3.Enjoyment of being alone. 4.Strong emphasis on self-development. 5.Enjoyment of solitary activities. 6.Desire for meaningful conversation. 7.Greater social distance for internal peace. 8.Purposeful life with a sense of simplicity. 9.Strong sense of independence…The fact many introverts are quite satisfied with themselves is something to keep in mind if you are an introvert or someone you love and care for is and has low self-esteem because of it.

Jun 11, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, anxiety and covid, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, controlling spouses, coronavirus, dealing with covid, Depression, depression and covid, Divorce, drug abuse, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, mental health students, neurotic behavior, obsessive compulsive, ocd, overcoming anxiety, psychologist, rehab, relationships, resilience, school shootings, Self Help, SOCIAL SKILLS, substance abuse, succesful relationships, successful marriage, uvalde, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss THE REALITY OF PROLONGED GRIEF DISORDER

June 19, 2022

The killing of 19 children and two teachers in Uvalde,Texas and other senseless killings along with the million deaths resulting from COVID clearly has Americans tuned in to the grieving that individuals have who have lost children, friends, family members and even acquaintances. There has also been a public grieving where millions of Americans have joined with family and friends in the grieving process. Our grieving will end over time. That does not always happen for family and close friends of persons who for whatever the reason have lost loved ones. To be killed by a psychopath predictably would lead to the most intense grieving possible. Yet the length of time a person grieves totally depends on the person. It has often been said wrongly that grieving that lasts more than a year is a psychological problem. That is absurd and even very insensitive to the grieving person. Personally,I can state my parents never fully got over the death of my 2 year old brother in 1943 from childhood meningitis. Fortunately, DSM V has just recently added the diagnosis of Prolonged Grief Disorder. There are many persons who can need years and even a lifetime to overcome grieving for a loved one. Symptoms would include such characteristics as the following: 1.Disbelief it could have happened. 2.Intense longing for the person. 3.Identity confusion where the person feels not whole without the deceased person. 4.Avoiding reminders of the deceased. 5.Emotional numbness. 6.Intense loneliness. 7.Feeling life is meaningless. 8.No desire to meaningfully interact with people or with life. 9.Intense despair…The intensity of these feelings do not subside but can stay in force for years. The person with Prolonged Grief Disorder needs sensitivity and patience from friends and family. Additionally,clergy and trained therapists with grieving expertise can be helpful as deemed appropriate by the person.

Jun 2, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, wils

WHEN YOU KNOW YOU HAVE HOPE IN YOUR FADING MARRIAGE(RELATIONSHIP)

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHEN YOU KNOW YOU HAVE HOPE IN YOUR FADING MARRIAGE(RELATIONSHIP)

Signs to look for to find hope in your fading marriage would include the following. Some combination of them can be the basis for rekindling a sputtering marriage. 1.You have mutually loved and respected friends and family you desire to keep. 2.You genuinely care for each other’s well being. 3.You respect and admire the better traits of your spouse. 4.You desire to save it with hard effort on both sides. 5.You do not have walls of indifference,anger,frustration and disagreement singly or in some combination that are so deep and thick that you cannot bit by bit tear them down. 6.You desire to continue a life together with some combination of children,grandchildren,family and friends. 7.You have no desire to see any other person loving/sharing love with your spouse. 8.You use humor and not bitter sarcasm. 9.You have a strong desire to create wonderful new memories like those you have had in the past. 10.You desire to rediscover compromise and active listening. 11.You recognize what you have done and not done to enhance the marriage. 12.You share a willingness to seek out professional support as may be needed.

May 31, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, summertime, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly 1320 AM discuss CONTROL THE SUMMERTIME BLUES

May 24, 2022

Your first response might be what could he be talking about? Summertime is the time we all wait for and no one could have the blues! It might be surprising to you but it is true that many persons have summertime blues. It is a form of SAD-SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER. Let me mention some of the problems that occur with some persons in the summertime: 1.Lack of sleep due to the long daylight hours. 2.Self-esteem issues if you are not happy and everyone is telling you how wonderful it is that it is summer. 3.Financial concerns due to the cost of summer activities for children and family vacations. 4.Body image concerns as it is a time for bathing suits and summer clothing. 5.Too much sun,heat and humidity. 6.Difficulty effectively managing so many activities going on simultaneously in a home.

Things to do to beat the summertime blues would include the following: 1.Adequate sleep. 2.Reasonable exercise and not overdoing it. 3.Good financial planning for vacations and other family related activities. 4.Reasonable and healthy eating and use of alcohol beverages. 5.Planning time effectively so you do not feel overwhelmed. 6.Claim your summer in a way that is mentally and physically healthy for you and do not allow others to define how happy you need to be and what things you need to do. 7.As you feel appropriate,seek out professional medical and psychological personnel.

May 23, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHEN IS IT TIME TO LEAVE A MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

May 17, 2022

Subscribe to our youtube page! WHEN IS IT TIME TO LEAVE A MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP Aside from the obvious reasons of infidelity and physical or emotional abuse of you and/or children, there are other important factors in determining if your marriage/relationship is best to consider ending. The following are factors to be considered. If they are heavily weighing you down emotionally and you do not see a way they can be changed,then this is the time to make a final attempt to resolve them or think very seriously and honestly about ending the marriage/relationship. 1.Do the problems relate to current difficulties in your life circumstances or who both of you are as persons? 2.What have you attempted to do to resolve the feelings you have and save the marriage/relationship? 3.How well do each of you compromise? 4.What advice would you give to a best friend if living under the identical circumstances as you are? 5.What percentage of time do you feel you experience happiness and satisfaction in your relationship? Are you best friends? 6. Do you stay because of the children? If so, what impact would divorce have on them? 7.Are you fulfilled in the relationship emotionally? If not,what can you do to change this and how would you attempt to do it? 8.Does your spouse/partner respect those aspects of you that are essential to your self-esteem? 9.Are you as a person respected? 10.Do you have a lack of love and resulting physical/emotional intimacy? 11.Are you no longer a partnership? 12.Are the relationships in a blended family causing chaos and hurt on all members? 13.Do you enjoy living your life together and sharing your experiences and dreams at all levels in a way both are satisfied? 14.Do you feel you have invested too much time in your relationship to end it? 15.Do you feel or believe you must morally or spiritually stay together? 16.Do you feel you must stay in the relationship because of economics?

May 16, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, breaking up, cognitive behavior, compulsive liars, creativity, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, Divorce, family therapy, how to be creative, impulsive liars, john braccio, liars, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, pathological liars, patience, psychologist, relationships, step siblings, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss YOU CAN ENJOY RELATIONSHIPS FAR BETTER WHEN YOU DO NOT ALWAYS NEED TO BE RIGHT.

May 10, 2022

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A human flaw most of us have at one time or another is the need to always be right. Fortunately, most people eventually realize this greatly damages relationships whether they be with our partners, family, coworkers or acquaintances. Persons are wise when they begin to see their relationships are faltering and persons either argue with them or dismiss them. Neither is positive and relationships change negatively and can die. They can again become sustainable and mature when persons can discuss areas of disagreement in a civilized manner. This problem is rather clear when we look at the disagreements the country is having now on political issues. An additional problem to beware of is that persons can take “all or nothing views” on politics and begin to use them in other facets of their lives. Persons do not want to be known as a “know it all” with all the negative connotations that comes with that definition. The following are some strategies to help a person overcome their need to always be right: 1.Recognize there can be various ways to accomplish a task. 2.What can be seen as right today can be seen as wrong tomorrow. 3.Be mindful to actively listen to opinions of others and give an honest attempt to understand the opinions that might be different from yours. Then it is fair to present your opinion as an opinion in a civilized manner. This hopefully can result in good discussion and even healthy debate. 4.It is not weakness to accept the views of others. 5.Tolerance of the views of others is a sign of confidence and strength. 6.Accept many persons will not agree with you and let go of many areas of disagreement. Minimize the number of emotional hills you are willing “to die on”. 7.Relax and smell the roses.

Apr 29, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, liars, lying, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, patience, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio discusses with Dave Akerly WHY THE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR IS SO PSYCHOLOGICALLY DANGEROUS COMPARED TO THE COMPULSIVE LIAR

April 26, 2022

Let me begin by saying lying is a bad policy and will hurt the trust people have in you and what you say. I also will add saying an ugly hat Aunt Mabel is wearing is nice is better than saying it is atrocious and burn it. The compulsive liar is an annoyance and can destroy or greatly impair relationships,but their primary purpose is generally self-enhancement and a long-term psychological problem with telling the truth. Their purpose is not to ruin others. Purposes include to stay out of trouble,enhance self,and even try to please others. On the other hand,the pathological liar is deceitful and devious without a conscience. Their purpose is to hurt others and enhance self at the expense of anyone who gets in their way or they choose to torment for their own pleasure. They do not need a reason to damage someone. They generally have well engrained narcissistic and/or antisocial personality(sociopathy)disorders. They can be quite charming,convincing,and effective. They can play their hideous behaviors often well hidden from others. Because they have no sense of right or wrong,they are often masters of manipulation and intrigue when dealing with persons who are trusting,loving and sincere. The best defense is to stay away or have as minimal contact as possible if you identify them. Because they prey on your goodness,you must beware when you see the destructive behaviors of a pathological liar playing out in their interactions with others. They are at their worst when in positions of power and authority.

Apr 25, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, patience, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHEN THE NEED FOR PERSONAL APPROVAL IS PSYCHOLOGICALLY DESTRUCTIVE

April 19, 2022

All of us enjoy approval when persons note and complement us on things we have done or said. This is natural and good for self-esteem development as others recognize positive things about us. When the need for personal approval is psychologically destructive is when we have low self-esteem and our opinion of ourselves is not determined by us but by the opinions of others. This is particularly destructive when persons who influence us and whose approval we desire do not give it or give it conditionally. Examples of psychologically destructive approval would include the following: 1. Low self-esteem leads to how others perceive us. 2. Changing a point of view due to it being shunned by someone else. 3. Not saying no or disagreeing with someone for the fear of being personally attacked for being stupid or having low-level thinking. 4.Not complaining when receiving inferior goods, services or poor treatment by others. 5. Constantly seeking approval from someone who will never give it completely and always has conditions. 6. Feeling the need to apologize or minimize thoughts or feelings when challenged by someone else or even when praised due to low self-esteem. 7. Unreasonably seeking out compliments or recognition for self-validation when unnecessary and even inappropriate. 8.Excessive desire for social media recognition to the point of obsession…One can begin to overcome this need for psychologically destructive approval by having a realistic view of self and not allowing others to define you. It is important to note some people, including otherwise loving family and friends, will not give full approval so they can keep you coming back again and again to get the approval they will never fully give. It is important to love yourself in the wise proverb: LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF. Too often the person seeking psychologically destructive approval overlooks the LOVE THYSELF as one must to have good and healthy self-esteem approval needs.

Apr 14, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, patience, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss PATIENCE & FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL- Subscribe to our page!

PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL April 12, 2022 This quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson teaches us in a few words why we need both patience and fortitude to achieve our dreams in life as well as the everyday tasks we must accomplish to be successful. Aptitude is a great gift but needs patience and fortitude to meet potential. Examples to prove the point would be top athletes and students. Each would tell you both patience and fortitude are needed to persist in the never ending quest for excellence. Even if we do not have the aptitude of Magic Johnson in basketball or Albert Einstein in physics,we can use the same level of patience and fortitude they used to become the best we can be in whatever field we choose as a career.

Apr 11, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss KNOW WHEN CLUTTER IS DRAGGING YOU DOWN PSYCHOLOGICALLY

KNOW WHEN CLUTTER IS DRAGGING YOU DOWN PSYCHOLOGICALLY April 5. 2022 Subscribe to our page! Clutter is actually a more complicated concept than most people think. Clutter is only a problem if it negatively impacts on you psychologically. There are many people who are very comfortable with clutter and as long as it does not lead to filth and possible resulting physical and relationship problems, it is generally not a psychological problem for the person. Clutter also means different things to different people. The same materials can be seen as the equivalent of gold to some persons and to others as junk. Clutter becomes a psychological problem when it leads to the following types of problems that impact on a person’s psychological wellbeing: 1. Elevated anxiety and stress. 2. Symptoms of debilitating depression. 3. Lack of focus. 4. Work and/or life inefficiency. 5. Avoidance of life activities. 6.Chaos in life. 7. Feeling like one is drowning. 8. Feeling overwhelmed. 9. Inconsistent sleep patterns. 10.Misuse of drugs, including alcohol, prescription drugs, and illegal drugs…If you have any of these problems that are impacting you psychologically and be aware you are one of many, then you need to begin slowly but consistently to overcome your problems with clutter. Step one is to admit you have a problem, then a vision of what needs to be done to declutter your life, and finally a plan to begin the process.

Mar 30, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with past, dealing with regret, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, psychologist, Self Help, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 Discuss SUCCESSFULLY ADAPTING TO THE THREE DIMENSIONS OF TIME: PRESENT,PAST AND FUTURE OF YOUR LIFE

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March 29, 2022

One may not think about it, but we regularly live a life in the present but spend much of our waking time thinking about the past or future and not enjoying the joys of using the three-time dimensions together. In order for a person to be successful and happy, they must be able to adapt to the present to enjoy it as it is experienced, remember the past for the good times with lessons learned while keeping in mind the future goals one must prepare for. When the three time dimensions are working together for someone,they can enjoy the past with the memories and lessons,enjoy the present and prepare for a happy and successful future. Persons who live in the past do not have a present or future. Persons who just live in the present have not learned from the past and the future can be very disappointing when opportunities that come up cannot be obtained because they were not sufficiently trained or without the right work experiences. Persons who live in the future time dimension cannot appreciate the everyday joys of the present because of their future thinking. They also cannot enjoy the memories of the past. Personal happiness is best achieved when one can balance the three-time dimensions. They use the past as reference points , good memories, and lessons learned. In order for a person to be successful and happy, they must be able to adapt to the present to enjoy it as it is experienced, remember the past for the good times with lessons learned while keeping in mind the future goals one must prepare for. When the three-time dimensions are working together for someone, they can enjoy the past with the memories and lessons, enjoy the present and prepare for a happy and successful future. Persons who live in the past do not have a present and the result is no present or future. Persons who just live in the present have not learned from the past and the future can be disappointing. Persons who live in the future cannot enjoy the present or memories of the past. The best chance for a happy and successful life comes when they can balance the three-time dimensions. Through the use of good decisions learned from the past and present time dimensions, they have a great opportunity to have a fruitful future time dimension and an overall happy and successful life.

Mar 24, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

HOW TO BE AN EFFECTIVE STEPFATHER WHEN A CHILD HAS TWO CARING BIOLOGICAL PARENTS

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO BE AN EFFECTIVE STEPFATHER WHEN A CHILD HAS TWO CARING BIOLOGICAL PARENTS 3-22-2022 For the purposes of this segment, we are discussing how to be an effective stepfather when a child has two caring parents. Under any circumstances, being a stepfather can be difficult. It is very important the stepfather initially tread softly but always show loving and caring to the same level as he does for his own children. If this is not done, the probabilities are high that not only will the stepfather have a bad relationship with the children but quite easily the marriage will end in divorce. When given the choice of choosing between children and a stepfather, most often the mother will choose the children and in my opinion that is the appropriate choice because children do not ask to come into the world and deserve the opportunity to have unimpeded relationships with their caring biological parents as much as possible. The following are the traits of an effective stepfather when there are two caring biological parents: 1. Meet the children in an open manner without too many questions and be willing to answer any questions asked by the children. 2.Be honest about who you are in an open manner as who you are will come out over time if you are not authentic. 3. Express and show genuine caring for the children as you get to know them and thereafter. 4. Be supportive of the rules and expectations of the mother. If you have concerns with suggestions, make them when the children are not around. 5. Be available to the children emotionally when they have a need and ask for it. 6. Try to have a friendly or at least cordial relationship with the father of the children and make sure he does not see you trying to be a threat to his role. 7. Have the children call you a name they are comfortable with except for dad or father. 8. Share your hobbies with the children to the level they are willing to take part in them with you. Examples would be bowling, golfing, video games, movies, etc. 9. Make sure you do not show partiality to your children over the stepchildren. You must try to show them the same level of love, respect, and caring to make the blended family be loving and successful. 10. Be a support to the mother as she takes on the primary parenting responsibilities with her children. It is important to note that while you are to love and care for the stepchildren to the same level as your own, you also must accept that the mother is the primary parent as far as rules and expectations go to the same degree as this would be with your children. This does not minimize that you are an adult who must be treated with respect to the same level as you do to them. This can be a difficult field to traverse for both of you but it is critical for a blended family to be successful. 11.If necessary, it can be helpful to seek out clergy or a professional therapist familiar with the role of an effective stepfather and successful blended family.

Mar 18, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Rich Herl of 1320 AM-Dave Akerly show- discuss WHY PEOPLE CANNOT ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS

It is actually surprising how many people have problems accepting compliments. This is unfortunate because persons can really get some good feelings about themselves when persons notice things they are doing and compliment them. A problem with the person who has problems accepting compliments is that they actually often become embarrassed and even upset when persons honestly offer them. As counterintuitive as this seems,it may be a problem you have or certainly one you have seen in persons you know or care for. Typical reasons for having problems accepting compliments would be as follows: 1.Low self-esteem. They could never be worthy of a compliment. 2.Social anxiety. They desire not to be noticed in almost any way. Absorbed into the background is the desire. 3.Imposter syndrome. This is when persons believe they will eventually be found out as an imposter. They in effect believe people do not understand how flawed they are or they are just trying to make them feel better,or at worst they are not telling the truth and giving false praise. 4.Fearful of higher expectations they do not desire. 5.Humbleness and humility on steroids. 6.Perfectionism to a level they believe they never deserve a complement…It is hard emotional work for persons to learn to take complements when not comfortable with them. The key is to love yourself better and accept in yourself what others see in you. Good self-esteem grows when we internalize the genuine good others see in our heart and actions.

Mar 12, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, Independent children, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

YOU NEED BOUNDARIES IN CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIPS WITH ADULT CHILDREN WHO WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 discuss NEEDING BOUNDARIES IN CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIPS W/ ADULT CHILDREN WHO WON’T BE RESPONSIBLE

03-08-2022

One of the most difficult situations for parents is when they have adult children who are not responsible and they are in the role of a codependent parent with the irresponsible child. Each is irresponsible in such relationships and cannot have an adult relationship with each other. For clarification, I am not talking about a situation where a child is in crisis and it is appropriate for the parent to step in and help the child get through the crisis. In this situation, I am talking about the child who is irresponsible and sometimes even demands that the parent save them and take on their own responsibility. The parent must stop being the savior even if it seems like the right thing to do. Situations would include children who can never keep a job and need money constantly, children who are financially irresponsible and always need money, children who are irresponsible parents and demand the parents do the parenting, children who bully and demean their parents to get what they desire, children who charm their parents as a means to effectively get what they desire, etc. The following are the types of boundaries a codependent parent must use in order to allow both the parent and child to be responsible adults and potentially have a mutual loving and caring relationship where each is independent. One. Do not allow your child to define you in a negative way that makes you give in to whatever is desired. Two. Do not allow bullying tactics to be used to shame you into doing irresponsible behaviors. Three. Make sure you will not give a yes or no answer when something is requested of you without having a day to think about it. Four. Recognize there must be a time you say “no” after a constant string of irresponsible behaviors by your adult children. They must swim on their own. Five. Encourage your child to be successful whenever you get the litany of problems the adult child has. Six. Recognize the codependent relationship is destructive emotionally for both of you. Seven. Seek out an experienced therapist to help you in your codependent relationship if you feel it would be helpful.

Mar 3, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO PSYCHOLOGICALLY OVERCOME REGRET

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOUTUBE PAGE! Regret is a common strong emotion we all experience when we feel we have failed to meet some moral, spiritual, educational, familial, occupational or some other standard. It could range from severe mistreatment of someone to missing a mass on Sunday. It can cause such things as depression, shame, anxiety, and anger. The important thing is regret causes people so much grief when they have engrained it into their very psyche and cannot get over the negative and too often gnawing feelings of emotional pain it can cause. This happens to some very sensitive persons over such small things as breaking a diet or legitimately standing up for self. The bigger problem area of regret include such things as marital infidelity, lost career opportunities and severe bullying. The following are some things to do to overcome regret: 1. Do not allow previous mistakes to rule your present and future. 2.Put things in perspective. 3. Make amends when possible. 4. Be compassionate with self. 5.Learn from past mistakes to help make better decisions as you try to seize the day-CARPE DIEM! 6.Update educational and life goals for your current life and not be upset from previous mistakes. 7. Do not catastrophize regrets. 8.Seek out a trained therapist if felt necessary.

Feb 26, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, mental health, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 discuss HOW TO REDUCE ANGER AND FRUSTRATION IN THE AGE OF COVID

The last two years during the age of Covid have been very difficult emotionally for millions of persons across the globe. The obvious result of restrictions and fears In many has resulted in very high levels of anger and frustration. Even though there has been progressing in the fight against Covid, there still are many legitimate fears resulting in frustration and anger continuing to build in many persons. The following are some techniques to use to overcome this frustration and anger. These basic techniques can also be used regardless of the cause of a person’s anger and frustration: 1. Deep breathing/meditation/self-hypnosis/hypnosis. 2. Exercise/yoga/Pilates. 3. Visualization of positive physical settings and memories. 4. Say positive mantras over and over again. 5. Find humor in even the most difficult circumstances. 6. Take a walk. 7. Identify anger and frustration triggers and replace them with positive ones. 9. Play favorite music. 10. Call a friend. 11. Help someone. 12.Watch a comedy movie. 13. Plan a vacation. 14. Take a one-day trip. 15. Prepare a favorite meal. 16. Go to a favorite restaurant and enjoy the experience. 17. Enhance your spirituality. 18. Seek out a trained therapist if needed.

Feb 21, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, mental health, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss DECLARING YOURSELF NO LONGER A VICTIM IS CRITICAL TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

WHEN DECLARING YOURSELF NO LONGER A VICTIM IS CRITICAL TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH 02-15-2022 The point here is not to deny there are victims in life from minor insults to even murder. I am specifically talking about persons who have taken on the role of victim to the point they feel they have lost control of their lives and have a very negative outlook on life with everything seen through the prism of “I’m a victim mentality”. This outlook on life can only lead to unhappiness and often can be accompanied with anger, anxiety, and depression. If you feel you are a victim of life or you too often believe you take on the role of victim, it is important you honestly evaluate yourself. The following would be typical views of persons who see themselves as victims: 1. Blame others for their station in life. 2. Blame problems from the past and/or present for being unhappy. 3. Do not see inadequacies or lack of direction in self for problems in life. 4. Perceive daily life responsibilities and roadblocks as problems and not opportunities for resolution. 5. Believe life is against them. 6. Feel powerless in life. 7. Feel like destiny does not allow them luck and things always work out poorly for them. 8. Believe no one understands them and they are alone in the world with no understanding and caring….If you feel you have some of these views, you need to develop a new outlook on life and recognize you have control over it, and need to seek out opportunities to prove it. You certainly will be happier and more successful with a positive view on life. The following are some things to do to take responsibility for yourself and quit seeing yourself as a victim: 1. Recognize you are giving ongoing power to persons who may have hurt you or taken advantage of you to still exert control over you. 2. Take control of your life and the decisions you make. 3. Seek out positive people who clearly do not see themselves as victims and start modeling and implementing their behaviors and outlooks. 4. Admit when you have made an inappropriate decision and do not use the word “but” to excuse it. The word “but” is a disclaimer from the responsibility. 5. Use the statements “I will” and “I can” when making a decision to do something. 6. Recognize that failure can be a way to learn how not to do something again as opposed to seeing yourself as a victim and failure. 7. Replace negative self-defeating thoughts about being a victim with positive statements about being responsible for yourself and the decisions you make. 8. As felt necessary, seek out a therapist who can help you replace the negative thoughts of being a victim with positive thoughts of being in control of yourself and your destiny as much as possible.

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