Tag: psychology

3-7-2023- SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOUTUBE PAGE! This is the fourth segment I am doing on fathers/dads.The topics covered were the joys of being a father,why fathers abandon their children and what makes a good father. Today the topic is the obvious importance of having good, caring, and loving father figures for modeling along with financial and emotional support. Mike and I will kick some of these thoughts around. He also is a father/dad very interested in the role of fathers. Children clearly look to their fathers for modeling, security, unconditional love, and availability from birth through their teenage years and often beyond that for the rest of their lives. The data are clear for various generations that daughters with good relationships with their fathers tend to seek and choose responsible men like their fathers and tend to have more successful marriages. They understand appropriate and inappropriate treatment and are more tolerant of the normal problems and concerns that occur in the best of marriages. Boys with involved fathers have the opportunity to spend time with them and learn how to be an effective male model and grow to be successful fathers and spouses themselves. I think it is a safe thing to say we are in a society where way too many children are being raised without fathers, and this is most unfortunate and sometimes very destructive to the children except in cases with abusive and destructive fathers. Leaving those bad fathers aside,we can certainly say there is a need for our society to encourage and support good father figures in the lives of their children, and hopefully a married situation, but if not, at least in the situation where the father and the mother of the child can interact in a civil fashion, and each work directly to best enhance the opportunity of the child succeeding in life with reduced anxiety,depression and feelings of alienation or abandonment. Anyone who has had a good father/dad figure knows how critical he has been in their personal development. They are apt to want to continue this type of behavior with their children. Fathers who have not had good father figure modeling experiences, need to experience them in churches,family members,schools, sporting centers, or wherever good modeling can be made available so they can see what good fathering is and try to pick up those skills and use them themselves. As a society, we need to encourage fathers to be responsible father figures when having children and encourage them to develop lifelong relationships filled with love and caring. The rewards for fathers,couples,children and overall society are incalculable with good father figures.

02-28-2023- Subscribe to our YouTube page! Today is our third of four segments on fathers. Children of good fathers may debate what is the top quality of a father,but there is little doubt that certain traits come forward. Children who have or had good loving fathers regularly talk about the good times they had in their relationships. Those that have not had good fathers often are quite upset about this and feel abandoned or not respected or cared for. It puts a big hole in their lives and resentment that can last a lifetime. The following would be the typical characteristics that one would expect to have in a good father. Not that all fathers have all of these traits, but some combination of them is what would be necessary: 1.Availability in good and bad times is critical. 2.Protection from persons or situations that could be dangerous or harmful for the child. 3.Showing unconditional love and affection. 4.Good modeling of life and work ethics/behaviors that the father wants for the children. 5.Teaching a strong sense of spirituality and/or moral code to help the child deal with the difficulties and the seemingly senseless problems that occur in the world. 6.Have humor and laughter to enjoy family life. 7.Be respectful of the mother whether married or not.8.Be tolerant of mistakes and admit your own. 9.Teach the child the importance of having a balance in life between family life and work life. 10.Model and teach kindness to others and strong family commitment…When fathers have good relationships with their children as they grow up,they will happily continue for a lifetime of ongoing good memories.

Subscribe to our YouTube page! – This is the second of four segments on fathers and parenting. Abandonment of a child by a father is a tragedy for the child specifically but also for the father and society as a whole. Children need and deserve love and caring from both parents who bring them into the world. Reasons fathers abandon children are many and would include the following: 1.Feeling inadequate as a parent and feeling the child is better off without them. 2.Horrible relationship with the mother. 3.Indifferent or no relationship with the mother. 4.Legally squeezed by distance or very limited time with the child. 5.Narcissism/total selfishness. 6.Substance abuse. 7.Immaturity. 8.No desire or refusal to pay child support. 9.Belief paying child support is sufficient. 10.Blended families problems. 11.Physical and/or emotional abuse. 12.Workaholic with no time for children. 13.Parental alienation. 14.Divorce. 15.Poverty. 16.Spouse or partner strongly resisting father’s involvement with his child.

August 9, 2022

Even though this may seem evident to those who have good or bad/absent fathers,we often do not realize how critical a good father is in the lives of their children. The point is not that children without fathers cannot be successful or have other excellent male role models,the point is simply that research shows the rather surprising results when a father is present: 1.80% less likely to spend time in jail. 2.60% less likely to be suspended or expelled in school. 3.38% more likely to get A’s in school. 4.45% less likely to repeat a grade. 5.75% less likely as a teenager to birth a child…These results show the importance of fathers in the lives of their children. As a society,we need to emphasize this and encourage fathers whether married or not to be responsible,loving and caring for children they have brought into this often difficult and complicated world. Their children did not ask to be born and need and deserve a loving and good role model father. This is true whether the father adheres to a spiritual or secular view of the importance of life he has brought into this world. For further emphasis,society needs to focus on the importance of giving support for caring fathers to lovingly accept their parental responsibilities to help their children be as loved and successful as possible. This is true whether in a nuclear,blended or broken up family relationship. Fathers can seek support by modeling behaviors of good fathers and/or seeking them out as mentors. They also can seek out support groups for fathers and trained therapists. As a final thought,it is critical to realize the good father is not the mythical perfect father who does not exist in this imperfect world.