Tag: Self Help

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM WILS discuss HOW PARENTS BUILD AND RESILIENCE IN THEIR CHILDREN

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    In the aftermath of the COVID 19 pandemic with the loss of personal interactions in the school setting and with family and friends,multitudes of young persons have not only suffered academic loss but also suffer to one degree or another with anxiety,depression,PTSD,phobias,poor resilience,poor emotional strength and general fears about life and their future. In such an environment,it is essential parents work as hard as they can to built emotional strength and resilience in their children to not only address problem areas but help them develop life skills to overcome them. Parental behaviors to this end would include the following: 1.PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING. 2.MODELING STABILITY THROUGH GOOD PROBLEM SOLVING WITH RESULTING RESILIENCE . 3.CLOSE COMMUNICATION WITH SCHOOL PERSONNEL AS NEEDED. 4.COUNSELING AS NECESSARY. 5.CLOSE CONTACT WITH CLERGY CONSISTENT WITH YOUR FAITH. 6.TUTORING SUPPORT AS NEEDED. 7.SHOWING UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. 8.DEVELOPING STRONG FAMILY COMMITMENT AND ATTACHMENT. 9.ENCOURAGING HEALTHY FAMILY AND OTHER SOCIAL INTERACTIONS. 10.EXPLAINING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REASONABLE AND UNREASONABLE BELIEFS AND CONCERNS. 10.HELPING BUILD RESILIENCE TO LIFEā€™S PROBLEMS THROUGH EFFECTIVE PROBLEM ANALYSIS AND SOLUTION.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss OLDER PERSONS(65 AND OLDER) AND DEPRESSION

    Subscribe to our YouTube page!- November 8, 2022

    No one is immune from depression. It impacts everyone to one degree or another in oneā€™s lifetime. The problem with persons 65 and older is that they are often having to deal with issues that younger persons do not. Most specifically, it would include problems with their physical and mental abilities, loss of a spouse, family location,loss of employment, lack of mobility,death of friends, poor memory,loss of status and accepting mortality… Not that all of these things happen to one person at the same time or that they always cause depression. But over time they do tend to occur in some combination with most persons as the cycle of life progresses. The following are important things to do to help alleviate the sadness and depression that can occur in older persons due to the issues mentioned above: 1.Exercise and keep as physically fit as possible. 2.Have regular medical check ups to make sure you are physically as healthy as possible. 3.Seek out counseling as necessary to help you with the changes of life that occur in your aging process that cause you depression. 4.Accept changes that can cause depression will occur and plan accordingly as best you can. 5.Finely hone your spiritual and/or internal resources to help you find purpose in your life from what you have experienced and what you intend to experience in the latter stages of your life. As always,make each day count. 6.Continue to be as involved as you can in church and any other activities. 7.Cultivate and keep in contact with friends you have known over your lifetime. Talk to persons you may not have talked to for decades. 8.Become more communicative with your spouse,family and persons close to you. 9. Resist isolation. Be as active as you can. 10. Do puzzles and any other intellectual activities to keep your mind sharpā€¦Aging is a process we all go through as we live our lives. The important thing is not to have great fear and resulting depression but do whatever you can to find meaning in your life through maximal physical, intellectual and emotional involvement. As you age do not focus on the disabilities or limitations you have but rather focus on what you can do to make as much impact as possible on yourself and others. The road of life can be difficult but it can always be meaningful and something to look forward to. GO FOR IT WITH GUSTO!!!!!!

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss WHY THE AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING MODEL IS THE BEST

    November 1, 2022

    The primary parenting styles would be authoritative parenting, authoritarian parenting, permissive parenting and uninvolved/neglectful parenting. The obvious problems that are caused by the controlling authoritarian parent are low self-esteem,anger impulse problems,substance abuse,conduct disorder and high levels of anxiety and depression. The problems resulting from permissive parenting are that the child never learns the rules of life,how to deal with reality,can be spoiled,and very difficult to deal with with all persons they encounter. The problems with the uninvolved/neglectful parent are low self esteem,conduct disorder,substance abuse,poor academic performance,and juvenile delinquency. The positive and most promising parental style is the authoritative. In this style,the parent tries to adapt parenting to needs and wants of the child from infancy until they are launched into adulthood. The hallmarks are a loving environment with respect, tolerance, firm recognized limits,good citizenship,good communication,always ready and willing to listen to the ideas and concerns of the child,and a willingness to say no and be consistent in parenting. The children from this parenting style have the best opportunity to have a successful life with positive self-esteem without higher than expected levels of anxiety and depression. The chances are also very good for solid academic performance and good citizenship. An important thing is the child is always involved in the process. They are aware of the consequences if they choose to break rules because they have been part of the process in making them. The parent cannot always be right,but in the long run there is little doubt the child will understand their parents did the best they could. There is nothing simple about raising children. Even the best plans do not work all the time. As a brief recap,the successful authoritative parent includes in their parenting the ingredients of love, caring,being able to say no,understanding,reasonable expectations and always ready to discuss issues and concerns.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY CHILDREN ARE ESTRANGED FROM THEIR PARENTS

    10-18-2022

    A surprising thing to me even now is how many children are estranged from their parents. In some cases the children will not even tell the parent(s) why. Sadly,in many cases even seemingly small problems in communication can result in total or limited lifelong parental estrangement. The following are common reasons: 1.Child sexual abuse. 2.Child physical abuse. 3.Child emotional abuse. 4.Ongoing emotional abuse. 5.Religious differences. 6.Political differences. 7.Non-involved parent now or in the past. 8.Late in life arriving parent. 9.Overinvolved negative grandparenting. 10.Financial issues. 11.Communication problems between parent and spouse/family of child. 12.Substance abuse. 13.Sibling preference. 14.Perceived brainwashing.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO CONTROL ANGER OUTBURSTS OVER TRIVIAL MATTERS

    October 11, 2022- It is an unfortunate fact most persons at one time or another waste a lot of their energy by being angry over trivial matters. Things as simple as a person driving too slowly on the road in front of us,a child leaving a book at school or a spouse forgetting to pick something up on the way home can lead to severe anger outbursts. This is unhealthy for the person having the anger outbursts and for the recipients. Too often anger outbursts occur with persons who lived in homes where parents were constantly bickering and fighting over many small things and they learned these behaviors when modeled by them. As a result,it is not surprising when these behaviors are in effect re-enactments in the present. The power of modeling on future human behavior is so powerful and often not understood by persons on both sides of the anger outbursts. In order to end the emotional turmoil for all involved persons,the following are suggestions on how to overcome anger outbursts over trivial matters: 1.Truly recognize how short life is and do not waste a moment we have to live on foolish and antagonizing anger outbursts over trivial matters. Carpe diem!(Seize the day!) 2.Recognize what is appropriate anger over mistreatment rather than inappropriate anger over trivial matters. 3.Think how important you will think what you are mad about in this moment will be in an hour,a day,a week,a month or a year. 4.Think about how important it is today what your great great great grandparent was upset about one hundred and twenty years ago today. 5.Replace negative anger trigger thoughts with positive and neutral thoughts. 6.Problem solve with those you get angry with to work as a team to eliminate anger outbursts over trivial matters. 7.Do deep in and out breathing and count as you do it. 8.Seek out a therapist who is expert in anger management to help eliminate trivial anger outbursts.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD WITH SPORTS PERFORMANCE ANXIETY

    Sports Performance Anxiety is more common with athletes than one might think. Our concern here relates to athletes specifically in elementary through high school and how parents can help them. With that said, the suggestions can relate to athletes of any age and whether playing an individual or team sport. Over the years I have worked with many parents who are amazed when a sporting activity their child previously loved has begun to cause them great anxiety to the point they are feeling miserable emotionally and often want to quit the sport entirely. Because I have worked with many athletes who have Sports Performance Anxiety,I can tell you it can be very emotionally devastating and can put a real cramp in the life of the person involved and their parents. The following are suggestions given to parents over the years I have found can be quite helpful for the child to reduce the anxiety to the point it is useful anxiety and not debilitating anxiety: 1.Accept anxiety is a common trait for any athlete. 2.Identify the symptoms and maybe unusual behaviors or changes in thinking that are showing your child is not behaving in their regular fashion. When this occurs,there is a need for positive parental intervention. 3. Develop a conversation with your child that is positive and not critical. The most loving and meaningful statements by a parent can be devastating to their child by being negative and making them fearful of their performance rather than helping them be their best. 4.Try to identify with your child by indicating any anxiety you have had in the past when involved with sports or other activities that have been stressful for you. This can develop a bond between the two of you that allows for conversation that does not put all the pressure on your child.5. Help yourself and your child realize if they can think themselves into being overly anxious that they have the ability to think themselves into being less anxious. As difficult of a concept as this may be for you or your child to understand, it is true and something that needs to be worked on and developed. 6.It is useful to have mantras that can be used to replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. For example, if a child feels they cannot function effectively and will let the team down, they need to say they will try to do their best to help themselves and the team be at their best.7. Deep breathing is a timeless procedure to use when a person is feeling anxious,stressed out and needs to relax. Just breathing in and breathing out deeply over and over again while thinking a positive mantra can be very helpful to an individual.8. Help your child realize their job on the team is to try to use all the skills and training they have learned to do the best job they can. This will not always lead to the level of success they desire; however, if this is done and understood they will realize they are achieving and helping the team as best they can. 9. Help your child have realistic expectations for what they can do and encourage them within their abilities to do the best they can. This recognition and acceptance of ability with maximal opportunity for development can positively be used to help your child function to the best ability that is possible. 10.If you feel you need outside help,seek out an experienced therapist who can help you with Sports Performance Anxiety.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW HUMILITY HELPS MAKE YOU A MORE EFFECTIVE HUMAN BEING.Ā 

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    August 30, 2022- Humility is that wonderful trait a human being has that allows them to not be a know-it-all and accept the views of other persons. They can accept others have equal or better ideas. They recognize together everyone can feel more satisfied and potentially be more successful. They believe the concept of teamwork results in team results that a group of individuals working alone cannot achieve. Too often humility is seen as weakness. It is actually the opposite of that. Humility simply recognizes other persons can be talented and offer something. Typical traits of a person with humility would be as follows: 1.Listens to others and their opinions. 2.Takes into account the ideas and feelings of others when making decisions. 3.Works under the assumption more persons involved in decision-making will lead to a better outcome with everyone feeling they have made a meaningful contribution. 4.Willingness to make decisions when necessary but only after taking into account opinions of others. 5.Strengthens relationships with others. 6.Allows for greater understanding of self and others. 7.Develops tolerance of others and their views. 8.Roots out arrogance and impulsivity of actions.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss SUCCEED BY CONFRONTING THE FEARS OF YOUR WORST CASE SCENARIOS

    August 16, 2022

    The dreams and aspirations of so many people are destroyed by their own worst case scenarios. Common worst case scenarios could include:1.The perceived humiliation of being turned down for a date with a potential life partner. 2.Not applying for the ā€œperfect jobā€ for fear of being rejected. 3.Not moving to your dream location for fear of not succeeding and returning home as an humiliated failure. 4.Not seeking a prized degree or training program for fear of humiliation and ridicule for not completing it. 5.Not standing up for self out of fear of severe retaliation. 6.Staying in a dull and no hope for promotion job out of fear of failing and being fired at another job and the family going on public assistance. 7.Constant fear of living the ā€œimposter phenomenonā€ where in spite of your ongoing success you will be found out and humiliated as not up to your job and fired or demotedā€¦The examples can go on and on. The remedy is to focus on the prize and accept possible roadblocks as you voyage forth to fulfill your goals and dreams. When life is coming to a close,people do not lament they tried and often did put their dreams into reality. No,they lament unfulfilled dreams because of their worst case scenarios.Ā 

    Dr Braccio & Rich Herl of 1320 AM discuss WE NEED POSITIVE SELF-EFFICACY TO FULFILL OUR DREAMS

    July 26, 2022

    Positive self-efficacy is the belief one has the capacity to complete activities in effective ways. A person with positive self-efficacy encounters a problem, looks at the factors that need to be resolved and attempts to complete them. Even though the person may fail, they will more realistically analyze why they failed rather than the person with negative self-efficacy who will be convinced not only that they did not have the ability to complete it but never would have the ability. Positive self-esteem is a positive view of self while positive self-efficacy is the belief one can successfully complete an activity. The person with positive self-efficacy does not see problems in the current life-space as something to be fearful of or to try to run away from,but rather as opportunities for resolution and challenges that can make life more interesting. The person with positive self-efficacy works relentlessly to be the quarterback while the person with negative self-efficacy,regardless of ability,prefers to sit in a chair and watch the quarterback play rather than risk certain perceived failure if they attempted to become the quarterback.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS discuss POSITIVE MEMORIES REDUCE DEPRESSION

    July 5, 2022

    POSITIVE MEMORIES REDUCE DEPRESSION Psychologists have known for some time that positive thoughts and memories produce positive persons. The ability to remember and focus on positive thoughts in one’s life accurately and intuitively point out the obvious: Positive thoughts and memories reduce depression. If a person focuses on negative memories, the present is going to be depressing and the future will look the same because the future will be filled with the current present negative memories and so it goes on and on in a never ending cycle. One must cognitively restructure or consciously replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts in order to have a chance for positive self-esteem and a life free or with far less depression than the person who focuses on negative thoughts. This brings me to the fact that after nearly 400 segments with you Dave, this is the last PSYCHOLOGICALLY SPEAKING segment we will do together on WILS 1320 AM radio. It has been a great ride and it is hard to believe how quickly the past 7 1/2 years have gone. The memories from the segments will always be positive as I have greatly enjoyed doing them with you and the hope is they have been enjoyable for you and helpful for our listeners. I simply want to give a shout out THANK YOU and HOORAY to you for your superb professionalism and wish you the best in your continuing successes. We will continue the nearly 30 year long-term relationship we have had since your days as the Sports Director and News Anchor at WLNS-TV 6. Our interactions are a significant part of my positive long term memories that will keep coming back as emotional nourishment to keep depression on the ropes!

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss CARING FOR FAMILY CAREGIVERS

    June 21, 2022

    We live in an age where millions of spouses,children and siblings look after beloved members of their families. In 2020,53 million Americans were offering unpaid care for adults with health or functional needs. This was an increase of 9.5 million from 2015. The most common caregiver is one spouse looking after the other. Another very common combination is a child or children looking after a parent. Too often, these caregivers are taken for granted and other family persons or caring non-family are not aware or minimize the problems they are experiencing or choose in some cases to ignore. The odds are quite high we have a family caregiver in this situation or know of one. The common issues caregivers have would include problems with managing time, physical and emotional distress, depression and isolation, financial concerns, sleep deprivation, guilt and fear of asking for support. Things that other family members, dear friends and caring persons can offer include the following: 1.Help with every day chores and needs. 2.Emotional/psychological support. 3.Help with healthcare needs. 4.As desired,give good advice. 5.Try to help them recognize their emotional and physical health are also priorities. 6.Make sure you do not use guilt in your support. 7.If asked,seek out support persons or agencies that can be of support. 8.Availability.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly Discuss THE MACHIAVELLIAN MANIPULATOR IS VERY HARD TO IDENTIFY

    June 28, 2022

    Unlike the narcissist, common bully and sociopath who are relatively quickly found out to be who they are,the situation is very different with the Machiavellian Manipulator who skillfully pretends to fairly live within agreed upon social rules and norms. They often very cleverly work within the system to achieve maximum success for themselves regardless of the negative consequences for others. Because they deceitfully but effectively use all the correct words and techniques to advance,they are particularly hard to identify and often by the time they are identified their evil deeds have succeeded at your expense. Even after it happens,others may not be aware of what has happened and will continue to be part of their evil designs. The best way to determine if you are interacting with a Machiavellian Manipulator is to observe,listen to comments of others,discretely talk to others and observe outcomes from interactions they have with others. If you ever encountered one, you certainly are aware of how difficult they are to identify because they are seemingly working and interacting with others with the same agreed upon norms everybody is working under. A concise definition of manipulation is using inappropriate psychological techniques with other persons to control their thoughts and actions. It can happen in any setting. It is most common in close relationships such as family,spouses,friendships and work settings. Typical manipulation techniques would include using the following: Guilt. Blame. Complaints. Playing innocent or ignorant. Gaslighting. Lying. Bullying. Mind games. Insecurities/Weak spots,Mockery. Judging. When these techniques are skillfully camouflaged by the Machiavellian Manipulator,victims can be amazed and shocked when they learn what has or is negatively happening to them. If one is in such a relationship with a Machiavellian Manipulator,it is important to seek out supportive friends, colleagues and professional support to minimize the damage done to you socially,psychologically,personally and/or professionally.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss BE A HAPPY INTROVERT

    June 14, 2022

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    It is pretty well known that in Western Society the extrovert(EXTERNALLY DIRECTED)is praised and often seen as the ideal. This can needlessly lead to the introvert(INTERNALLY DIRECTED)developing low self-esteem and seeing self as less than the extrovert. Because extroverts and introverts clearly seem to be wired differently, it becomes important for each person to accept who they are and nurture their particular characteristics. The following are typical characteristics introverts have which need to be cherished,nurtured and enjoyed as opposed to being seen as negative: 1.Need for less social interaction. 2.Greater interpersonal intimacy. 3.Enjoyment of being alone. 4.Strong emphasis on self-development. 5.Enjoyment of solitary activities. 6.Desire for meaningful conversation. 7.Greater social distance for internal peace. 8.Purposeful life with a sense of simplicity. 9.Strong sense of independenceā€¦The fact many introverts are quite satisfied with themselves is something to keep in mind if you are an introvert or someone you love and care for is and has low self-esteem because of it.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss THE REALITY OF PROLONGED GRIEF DISORDER

    June 19, 2022

    The killing of 19 children and two teachers in Uvalde,Texas and other senseless killings along with the million deaths resulting from COVID clearly has Americans tuned in to the grieving that individuals have who have lost children, friends, family members and even acquaintances. There has also been a public grieving where millions of Americans have joined with family and friends in the grieving process. Our grieving will end over time. That does not always happen for family and close friends of persons who for whatever the reason have lost loved ones. To be killed by a psychopath predictably would lead to the most intense grieving possible. Yet the length of time a person grieves totally depends on the person. It has often been said wrongly that grieving that lasts more than a year is a psychological problem. That is absurd and even very insensitive to the grieving person. Personally,I can state my parents never fully got over the death of my 2 year old brother in 1943 from childhood meningitis. Fortunately, DSM V has just recently added the diagnosis of Prolonged Grief Disorder. There are many persons who can need years and even a lifetime to overcome grieving for a loved one. Symptoms would include such characteristics as the following: 1.Disbelief it could have happened. 2.Intense longing for the person. 3.Identity confusion where the person feels not whole without the deceased person. 4.Avoiding reminders of the deceased. 5.Emotional numbness. 6.Intense loneliness. 7.Feeling life is meaningless. 8.No desire to meaningfully interact with people or with life. 9.Intense despairā€¦The intensity of these feelings do not subside but can stay in force for years. The person with Prolonged Grief Disorder needs sensitivity and patience from friends and family. Additionally,clergy and trained therapists with grieving expertise can be helpful as deemed appropriate by the person.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 Discuss SUCCESSFULLY ADAPTING TO THE THREE DIMENSIONS OF TIME: PRESENT,PAST AND FUTURE OF YOUR LIFE

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    March 29, 2022

    One may not think about it, but we regularly live a life in the present but spend much of our waking time thinking about the past or future and not enjoying the joys of using the three-time dimensions together. In order for a person to be successful and happy, they must be able to adapt to the present to enjoy it as it is experienced, remember the past for the good times with lessons learned while keeping in mind the future goals one must prepare for. When the three time dimensions are working together for someone,they can enjoy the past with the memories and lessons,enjoy the present and prepare for a happy and successful future. Persons who live in the past do not have a present or future. Persons who just live in the present have not learned from the past and the future can be very disappointing when opportunities that come up cannot be obtained because they were not sufficiently trained or without the right work experiences. Persons who live in the future time dimension cannot appreciate the everyday joys of the present because of their future thinking. They also cannot enjoy the memories of the past. Personal happiness is best achieved when one can balance the three-time dimensions. They use the past as reference points , good memories, and lessons learned. In order for a person to be successful and happy, they must be able to adapt to the present to enjoy it as it is experienced, remember the past for the good times with lessons learned while keeping in mind the future goals one must prepare for. When the three-time dimensions are working together for someone, they can enjoy the past with the memories and lessons, enjoy the present and prepare for a happy and successful future. Persons who live in the past do not have a present and the result is no present or future. Persons who just live in the present have not learned from the past and the future can be disappointing. Persons who live in the future cannot enjoy the present or memories of the past. The best chance for a happy and successful life comes when they can balance the three-time dimensions. Through the use of good decisions learned from the past and present time dimensions, they have a great opportunity to have a fruitful future time dimension and an overall happy and successful life.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 discuss HOW TO REDUCE ANGER AND FRUSTRATION IN THE AGE OF COVID

    The last two years during the age of Covid have been very difficult emotionally for millions of persons across the globe. The obvious result of restrictions and fears In many has resulted in very high levels of anger and frustration. Even though there has been progressing in the fight against Covid, there still are many legitimate fears resulting in frustration and anger continuing to build in many persons. The following are some techniques to use to overcome this frustration and anger. These basic techniques can also be used regardless of the cause of a personā€™s anger and frustration: 1. Deep breathing/meditation/self-hypnosis/hypnosis. 2. Exercise/yoga/Pilates. 3. Visualization of positive physical settings and memories. 4. Say positive mantras over and over again. 5. Find humor in even the most difficult circumstances. 6. Take a walk. 7. Identify anger and frustration triggers and replace them with positive ones. 9. Play favorite music. 10. Call a friend. 11. Help someone. 12.Watch a comedy movie. 13. Plan a vacation. 14. Take a one-day trip. 15. Prepare a favorite meal. 16. Go to a favorite restaurant and enjoy the experience. 17. Enhance your spirituality. 18. Seek out a trained therapist if needed.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss DECLARING YOURSELF NO LONGER A VICTIM IS CRITICAL TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

    WHEN DECLARING YOURSELF NO LONGER A VICTIM IS CRITICAL TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH 02-15-2022 The point here is not to deny there are victims in life from minor insults to even murder. I am specifically talking about persons who have taken on the role of victim to the point they feel they have lost control of their lives and have a very negative outlook on life with everything seen through the prism of ā€œI’m a victim mentalityā€. This outlook on life can only lead to unhappiness and often can be accompanied with anger, anxiety, and depression. If you feel you are a victim of life or you too often believe you take on the role of victim, it is important you honestly evaluate yourself. The following would be typical views of persons who see themselves as victims: 1. Blame others for their station in life. 2. Blame problems from the past and/or present for being unhappy. 3. Do not see inadequacies or lack of direction in self for problems in life. 4. Perceive daily life responsibilities and roadblocks as problems and not opportunities for resolution. 5. Believe life is against them. 6. Feel powerless in life. 7. Feel like destiny does not allow them luck and things always work out poorly for them. 8. Believe no one understands them and they are alone in the world with no understanding and caringā€¦.If you feel you have some of these views, you need to develop a new outlook on life and recognize you have control over it, and need to seek out opportunities to prove it. You certainly will be happier and more successful with a positive view on life. The following are some things to do to take responsibility for yourself and quit seeing yourself as a victim: 1. Recognize you are giving ongoing power to persons who may have hurt you or taken advantage of you to still exert control over you. 2. Take control of your life and the decisions you make. 3. Seek out positive people who clearly do not see themselves as victims and start modeling and implementing their behaviors and outlooks. 4. Admit when you have made an inappropriate decision and do not use the word ā€œbutā€ to excuse it. The word ā€œbutā€ is a disclaimer from the responsibility. 5. Use the statements “I willā€ and ā€œI canā€ when making a decision to do something. 6. Recognize that failure can be a way to learn how not to do something again as opposed to seeing yourself as a victim and failure. 7. Replace negative self-defeating thoughts about being a victim with positive statements about being responsible for yourself and the decisions you make. 8. As felt necessary, seek out a therapist who can help you replace the negative thoughts of being a victim with positive thoughts of being in control of yourself and your destiny as much as possible.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly 1320 AM discuss WHY BEING UNDERSTOOD IS CRITICAL BETWEEN SPOUSES/PARTNERS

    Subscribe to out YouTube page šŸ™‚ WHY BEING UNDERSTOOD IS CRITICAL BETWEEN SPOUSES/PARTNERS 2-8-22 I believe we would all agree marriages are successful when loving persons understand and respect each other and their opinions. Problems in communication are the obvious results when spouses do not understand and respect the views and opinions of each other. This leads to arguments, hurt feelings, and even devastating ongoing interactions that can not only damage the relationship but can lead to its ending. It is essential each partner feels they are understood. When this happens, disagreements can be discussed in an open manner and resolution can occur. They need not always agree but must accept that each person can have an honest disagreement with the other. When differing views are not accepted or understood, and sometimes even attacked, the result can be feeling one is attacked and being disrespected. This can leave each completely misunderstanding the beliefs and views of the other. The important thing to do when a person feels misunderstood is not to attack the spouse but try to have communication where disagreements can be understood and resolved. While this will not be possible in abusive relationships, most relationships where disagreements occur can be resolved in a civil manner where love exists. Arguing and emotionally destructive bomb-throwing by spouses, who may love each other, certainly run the risk of falling out of love and either staying in an angry marriage or having a divorce. Following are some suggestions on what needs to occur when persons know there is love but feel they are not being understood and it is leading to hurt and/or angry feelings: 1. Use ā€œI statementsā€ to show how you feel rather than attacking your partner with the type of accusatory anger and even invective which will only lead to predictably more misunderstanding and emotional bomb throwing. 2.Try to have open discussion where feelings are presented in an open and honest manner where you do not come across as righteous but as a loving spouse who has dissatisfaction and needs a resolution of the feelings in a meaningful manner. 3. Do not always expect to change the views of your partner when there is obvious disagreement but to make sure your feelings are understood. 4. Before engaging in discussions when you are hurt and maybe feeling diminished, try to approach the discussion in a manner where honest discussion can occur. 5. Recognizing each may be unreasonable and expecting too much. This can only occur when each realizes and accepts this and is willing to change. 6. Except for emotional or physical abuse situations when healthy problem resolution cannot occur, it is important to be aware there can be disagreements that relate to parenting, financial expenditures, friendships, job choices, places to live, and on and on in an almost never ending stream. When this occurs, open-mindedness and a willingness to compromise are critical. The important thing for each spouse to feel understood is that each respects the views of the other in a nonjudgmental manner and is open to the awareness each person is different and will not always see things the same way. 7. To seek out a trained and experienced therapist in relationship communication could be helpful for problem resolution when one or both spouses do not feel understood and want the problem resolved.

    SMALL INTENTIONAL ACTS MAKE A LONG TERM SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

    Dr John Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM 2-1-22 of 1320 AM discuss SMALL INTENTIONAL ACTS MAKE A LONG TERM SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

    When people think of successful marriages/relationships, they usually are thinking of the big things that people do together that people can see. The success of the long-term marriage is based on intentional acts made every day that make each love each other more. To begin with, they never lose track of why they loved each other and they regularly make comments to each other to this end. They also have regular kisses, hugs, and thoughtful statements of appreciation and love. Too many couples fall into a pattern of monotonous routine to the point they lose track of themselves as a couple and each goes off in different life directions that eventually lead to such a separation that the relationship ends. The following are the types of small things that keep marriage intact even for a lifetime: 1. Appreciation. 2. Smiles. 3. Humor/Laughing. 4. Movie watching. 5.Planned date nights. 6.Planned sexuality. 7. Spontaneous sexuality. 8.Thank you statements. 9. Love notes, cards, messages, and emails. 10. Quiet times discussing feelings and activities that are important to each other. 11. Listening to music. 12. Walks together. 13. day or weekend getaways. 14. Dancing. 15. Quiet evening dinners topped off with chocolate and dessert. 16. Eliminate complaining as much as possible. 17. Use active listening to resolve problems. 18.Constant ā€œI love youā€ statements with sincere meaning.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss GRUDGES ARE BAD FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

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