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There are few things in life more emotionally painful and harder to get over than the death of our loving parents. I personally have lost both parents and think of them and our experiences together on a regular basis since their passing 41 years and 24 years ago respectively. Even for those who had rocky relationships with their parents,the loss is still very significant. The person in effect is an orphan losing their life giving parents who not only brought them into the world but often raised and loved them unconditionally up until their deaths. While grieving is a very personal thing,the emotional pain is intense and loaded with emotional minefields. The following are suggestions on how to emotionally deal with the death of loving parents: 1.Take care of your own emotional needs. Be aware your emotions will be on an emotional roller coaster. 2.Crying and emotionally letting it all out is fine. 3.Do not let anyone but yourself determine how you will grieve and how long it will last. The course of grieving is totally unique with each person. 4.Talk and reminisce with family and friends about your parents. 5.Find ways to remember your parents with memories and physical momentos of theirs. 6.Set up future family get togethers as positive anchor points to remember your parents as a family. 7.Be open to asking for emotional support. No one is a totally self-sufficient island. 8.As you feel appropriate,seek out support groups for grieving to interact with persons experiencing similar grieving experiences. 9.As you feel appropriate,seek out an experienced therapist familiar with parental loss grieving.

June 21, 2022

We live in an age where millions of spouses,children and siblings look after beloved members of their families. In 2020,53 million Americans were offering unpaid care for adults with health or functional needs. This was an increase of 9.5 million from 2015. The most common caregiver is one spouse looking after the other. Another very common combination is a child or children looking after a parent. Too often, these caregivers are taken for granted and other family persons or caring non-family are not aware or minimize the problems they are experiencing or choose in some cases to ignore. The odds are quite high we have a family caregiver in this situation or know of one. The common issues caregivers have would include problems with managing time, physical and emotional distress, depression and isolation, financial concerns, sleep deprivation, guilt and fear of asking for support. Things that other family members, dear friends and caring persons can offer include the following: 1.Help with every day chores and needs. 2.Emotional/psychological support. 3.Help with healthcare needs. 4.As desired,give good advice. 5.Try to help them recognize their emotional and physical health are also priorities. 6.Make sure you do not use guilt in your support. 7.If asked,seek out support persons or agencies that can be of support. 8.Availability.

June 28, 2022

Unlike the narcissist, common bully and sociopath who are relatively quickly found out to be who they are,the situation is very different with the Machiavellian Manipulator who skillfully pretends to fairly live within agreed upon social rules and norms. They often very cleverly work within the system to achieve maximum success for themselves regardless of the negative consequences for others. Because they deceitfully but effectively use all the correct words and techniques to advance,they are particularly hard to identify and often by the time they are identified their evil deeds have succeeded at your expense. Even after it happens,others may not be aware of what has happened and will continue to be part of their evil designs. The best way to determine if you are interacting with a Machiavellian Manipulator is to observe,listen to comments of others,discretely talk to others and observe outcomes from interactions they have with others. If you ever encountered one, you certainly are aware of how difficult they are to identify because they are seemingly working and interacting with others with the same agreed upon norms everybody is working under. A concise definition of manipulation is using inappropriate psychological techniques with other persons to control their thoughts and actions. It can happen in any setting. It is most common in close relationships such as family,spouses,friendships and work settings. Typical manipulation techniques would include using the following: Guilt. Blame. Complaints. Playing innocent or ignorant. Gaslighting. Lying. Bullying. Mind games. Insecurities/Weak spots,Mockery. Judging. When these techniques are skillfully camouflaged by the Machiavellian Manipulator,victims can be amazed and shocked when they learn what has or is negatively happening to them. If one is in such a relationship with a Machiavellian Manipulator,it is important to seek out supportive friends, colleagues and professional support to minimize the damage done to you socially,psychologically,personally and/or professionally.

June 14, 2022

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It is pretty well known that in Western Society the extrovert(EXTERNALLY DIRECTED)is praised and often seen as the ideal. This can needlessly lead to the introvert(INTERNALLY DIRECTED)developing low self-esteem and seeing self as less than the extrovert. Because extroverts and introverts clearly seem to be wired differently, it becomes important for each person to accept who they are and nurture their particular characteristics. The following are typical characteristics introverts have which need to be cherished,nurtured and enjoyed as opposed to being seen as negative: 1.Need for less social interaction. 2.Greater interpersonal intimacy. 3.Enjoyment of being alone. 4.Strong emphasis on self-development. 5.Enjoyment of solitary activities. 6.Desire for meaningful conversation. 7.Greater social distance for internal peace. 8.Purposeful life with a sense of simplicity. 9.Strong sense of independence…The fact many introverts are quite satisfied with themselves is something to keep in mind if you are an introvert or someone you love and care for is and has low self-esteem because of it.