Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss TALKING TO A LOVED ONE WHO IS TERMINALLY ILL
Friends and family often do not know what to say when a beloved friend or family member is terminally ill and they know death is near. They want to be sensitive and caring, yet confusion can be powerful with no clear sense of what to say or do. They do not want to upset the person and cause them unnecessary emotional harm. Simply stated, being genuine, sensitive and caring are key characteristics that are needed to be helpful to the loved one who is dying. The following are some specific suggestions on how to be the most loving and helpful: 1.Focus on the person and not the illness. 2.Treat the person as normal as possible. Good discussion can come when death is not the topic unless the person wants to talk about it. 3.Allow the person to discuss what is felt comfortable. Old memories and even current events may be the preferred topics. 4. As health makes possible, keep the loved person involved in social events and social discussions. 5.Offer support and help with true sincerity. Often asking for help may be very difficult for a proud and independent person who now is in need of help. 6.If the person does not desire to see you in person due to the illness, communicate by phone, email, etc. as the person prefers. 7.Decide what you would like to tell the person and bring it up in the conversation when appropriate and possible. 8. Realistically accept the reality of the person’s death if the person has and does not want sympathy. Empathy and understanding are needed. You can still be as positive as the reality allows. 9.Silence may be desired. 10.Sensitive touching may be desired. 11. Read to the person if desired. 12 Celebrate the life of the person and your memories together…There is no way that it can be easy to say goodbye to a loved person or relative. The overriding important thing is to make the person as comfortable as possible and make the last memories you have together be meaningful to the loved person as well as the memories you will carry for the rest of your life.