Question:
Dr.Braccio: Our 17 konya merkez kadın numaraları year old son is a pretty neat kid. He gets along well with just about everybody. Our concern is that he’s a remarkably average student in spite of strong academic potential. We had him evaluated a few years ago and he was found to be very intelligent but not motivated academically. He rarely gets a D or a B. It seems he aims exactly for a C and gets it . Our concern is that as he enters his senior year next year, what can be done to fire him up? We’ve tried to bribe him, punish him, and just about everything else. He says he’ll go to Lansing Community College when he graduates and try to find out there what he’ll do. Most of our friends think we’re lucky to have him and not worry so much about him. They think he’s a great kid and will do fine. What do you think?
Answer:
You first of all need to applaud yourselves for having such a fine son. Because he has chosen to be an average student through nearly the eleventh grade, it does not appear he will radically change in the coming months prior to entering his senior year. That he “gets along well with just about everybody” is very positive and shows he has excelled at social development. This alone can be the basis of many successful careers.
You need to continue to encourage him to do his best in school. That is your job as parents. Hopefully, he will do this, but it appears it will begin at Lansing Community College; and that is acceptable.
That he wants to go to Lansing Community College is positive. Hopefully there he will begin the academic spurt he needs to achieve closer to his potential. I believe Lansing Community College is a wonderful community learning center. In fact, I believe large numbers of students would do much better to spend some time there rather than going immediately to a four year school. It is a place your son can find himself academically as well as his future vocation. It is amazing all the careers one can prepare for at Lansing Community College.
Even though parents want their children to get top grades, to be an average student when you have no career goals in life and you are not motivated can be seen as positive. Too many children who are not motivated simply drop out of school and often end up with meager jobs due to a lack of basic education and work skills. That is not the case of your son.
You need to try to encourage him whenever he finds something of interest that could be a career for him. For example, if he were to say he liked how teachers help children, you could follow up with discussion about him being a teacher.
Try not to use “yes/but” statements. For an example, do not say, “We’re glad you don’t get Ds, but we want all As and Bs”. For now, this will turn him off as it apparently has over the years. Even though it will be hard for you, ongoing discussion is more likely to occur from the following interaction: “Son, we’re happy you passed everything. Are you satisfied?” Even if there is not a lot of follow up discussion, at least there is a chance rather than the coffin-like “yes/but” statements that will lead nowhere.
Even though you are frustrated, try to focus on his strong social strengths and be his guide and support when in the future he focuses more on academics and vocational planning.