Question
Dr.Braccio: I’m quite escort bayan mersin upset and hurt. I’ve lost over 150 pounds in the past year and a half after having Bariatric Surgery. I was horribly obese and in horrible shape with diabetes, arthritis, high blood pressure and all kinds of other physical problems and discomfort. I couldn’t even tie my shoes and my joints ached all the time. After a lot of internal debate, I had the operation. Now I feel so much better physically and emotionally. From four shots, I only take one insulin shot a day. My problem is that a few co-workers make snide comments about the “kind of person” who has no discipline and needs surgery to lose weight. On top of that, my “fat” sister is telling everybody I did it to try to get a man. I did it for health and I’m tired of explaining this to her. I have found a good man to date and my sister seems angry and jealous about that. He tells me to ignore her. What can I do and why is this happening?
Answer
You need to not listen to the critics. Because you are a sensitive person, this will be hard for you to do; however, that is the best solution. You did what you did because you felt it was the right thing to do for your health. The weight you have lost and your better physical and emotional health say it all. What more could you say? That you have found a “good man” to date is positive and everyone needs to be happy for you.
I would give you the same advice as your friend: Ignore your sister. You obviously cannot change her mind and you have no need to do it. Others will understand her motives. I would add your co-workers to the list. Why your co-workers are being negative could be jealousy, pettiness or they are mean spirited. That is their problem. Who would not rather be you than them? You are trying to improve yourself as a person and make yourself more healthy. They are not and are not your friends. To ignore them is the right thing to do. To one time tell them how you feel may make you feel better but most likely would not have much impact.
To be unfairly critical of others is a bad quality in sometimes even the best of persons. In this case, this lack of sensitivity by the petty critics reflects negativity on them and not you. This also occurs when people are jealous and angry. Your sister may be upset she lost her overweight sister. That you have found someone to date may be too much for her. That he is a “good man” may have really put her over the top. You also need to know that jealousy is as powerful as it is destructive and corrosive to the person who cannot control it. That is not your problem.
You need to focus on what you have accomplished rather than any outside negativity. It was brave of you to undertake the surgery and your current mental health and physical condition are a tribute to you. That you have found a “good man” to date is icing on the cake. Applaud yourself for doing something to improve your physical and mental health to advance yourself in life.