Question
Dr.Braccio: My husband and I have had to karatay bayan escort admit our marriage is in trouble. We were once so in love. Now we’ve lost ourselves in raising our three children under ten years old and our jobs. We even must accept friends have more quality contact with us than we do with each other. We’re both discouraged but talking. We don’t want a divorce. We worry for the kids who know nothing about our problems and certainly want us together. Is it too late?
Answer
It is never too late if two people want to renew their love and save their marriage. The fact you are talking and do not want a divorce is positive. The hard work now begins.
No one gains if your marriage breaks up. It will most likely negatively impact on the children and leave both of you feeling defeated and rejected.
Few things hurt more than remembering golden memories and realizing you let slip opportunities for them to continue. You have such an opportunity now and need to grab on to it as like the proverbial “brass ring”.
Recognize you will need to make the type of changes you need to do now if a new marriage were to succeed. For everyone’s sake, do it now!
Your concern for your children is very legitimate when one sees the emotional damage that too often happens to children of divorce. Unless there is abuse or you really hate each other, and that does not appear to be the case, to make their needs at least equal to yours is a good goal when you consider they did not ask to be brought into this world.
Reconnect to each other and place “red alert” priority on yourselves as a couple. Seek the type of total commitment you had when you fell in love. To immediately set time aside for just the two of you to enjoy each other is critical to the success of your marriage.
To do this is not to neglect your children, it is to rekindle the love that made their very existence occur. You need new happy memories to replace the unhappy ones of the recent past. Try to remember why you fell in love and work hard to reestablish the old romantic and magical feelings. Build a bridge from your happy past to a happy present and future. Think romantically and good things will happen. Treat each other like your best friend.
A marriage encounter weekend could be wonderful since you both do not want a divorce. This is a proactive approach to make the marriage work. It also could add some spirituality to your marriage that could be helpful.
If you feel you need outside support, you can seek out a pastor and/or therapist experienced in such situations as yours.
The rewards for you and the children are so huge that no effort can be too great to keep your marriage together.
Any questions or comments would be greatly appreciated.