Question
Dr.Braccio: I recently returned to the area after earning a graduate degree and getting a very bayan escort mersin good job. My problem is an odd one. I’ve found a women full of love and very loving whom I’ve been dating that I’ve fallen in love with. The problem is my family and two best friends are advising me not to be with her. She has two small children, is divorced and is just in her first year of college. They say I could do much better and it’s silly to take on the burden of the two children. The problem is I love the children and love her. I also know they love and need me. Together, we’re special. They treat me wonderfully. Even though I think it is difficult for the children, I feel it’s positive for me that the father has no involvement and doesn’t even live in Michigan while my family and friends feel this just puts more pressure on me. I see it as a opportunity to help these wonderful children that the father has foolishly disowned. What do you think? Marriage may be in our future. We’re talking about it. I’m so confused.
Answer
The critics have some valid complaints for you to consider. You have worked hard to get a graduate degree and get the good job you now have. Ideally, it might be a good idea to find a woman in the same situation who is single with no children.
The problem is that love is not always logical. You also love her two children. As you say, “together, we’re special”. This is significant and important. Not only are you meeting your own love and emotional needs, but you also are fulfilling the same needs in the mother and the children. You will have an instant family with a lot of love. Even if a lot of responsibility, that can be very wonderful and more than many ever have in life.
I would encourage you to open your eyes wide and make sure you know the responsibilities you are taking on with not just the mother but the two children. If after doing that you still want to be with them, then continue with enthusiasm. Based upon what you are saying, you have done this and love her and the children. Give credence to your feelings and do not deny them.
If after soul searching you are still convinced you love her and the children and want to marry her and she agrees, then do it and be proud. That you know you are loved and needed is wonderful. Many persons never have those needs fulfilled because sadly they often do not act when the opportunity arrives.
If you become convinced you are going to marry this person you love, you can just do it and that is that. You also can meet with your family and friends and let them know how you feel and what you are going to do. Even though you do not need to, you can explain how you feel and ask for their support. Hopefully they will all support you out of respect for your feelings. If they do not, be ready to do what you feel you must do and not worry about approval.
If you follow your heart and your relationship ends in marriage, then your new primary priorities will be you, your future wife and the children. It could be a great and rewarding life.