Question
Dr.Braccio: Our daughter will begin mersin anamur eskort bayanları her senior year next year. We are very proud of her solid B average as an honors student. Our concern is that all of her friends are honor students who get straight As. She is happy but sometimes complains how many hours she studies. We have advised her to just do her best and not worry. She says she always wants to do better but is not overly critical of her performance. We worry about when her friends will all go off to prestigious schools and she will not. What do you think?
Answer
As you said, your daughter “is happy”. She gives every indication of being very successful in life. Getting straight As is wonderful and to be sought after, but success and happiness in life goes to the person who works hard, appreciates success, accepts what one can do, and does not give up. Your daughter is loaded with these qualities.
It is positive your daughter chooses to have friends who strive for academic success. Excellence for her is trying hard and doing her best. The important thing is for your daughter to not negatively compare her grades with others. She must compare her performance with herself and no one else. If she does this, and she apparently does, then happiness and success will be hers her whole lifetime.
Even if she does not get all As, competing with the best in honor classes and getting Bs is arguably better than getting As against less talented and/or committed students. Her hard work in classes will help her do well when going to college. It also is positive and mentally healthy that she “is not critical of her performance”.
If you feel the pressure of life is so heavy on her that her mental health is suffering, then you might talk to her about taking less competitive classes. This does not seem to be the case and it appears she desires to continue as she is. With that said, to keep monitoring her mental health is good parenting. You might feel better and get some good perspective by talking to the school counselor about this situation.
You need to always let her know how proud you are of her hard work and solid academic performance. Make sure your concerns, which might not be hers, do not become her concerns by being negatively influenced by you.
As far as college goes, I am sure she, with your support, will come up with an excellent choice. She may not go to Harvard, but she will predictably go to a fine school, have solid academic success, and have a fine life. She sounds like a delightful young person.
Considering she is taking honors classes and works so hard, you may be surprised the colleges she can go to. You can look into this yourself as well as get information from the high school counselor. Someone like your daughter, if she desires, may end up high on the list of some prestigious colleges.
As a final comment, your daughter, like all children, needs ongoing encouragement and support. Clearly, her desire to succeed is burning brightly for all to see. Be proud of her and your parenting. It is obvious good things are going on in your home.