WHEN DECLARING YOURSELF NO LONGER A VICTIM IS CRITICAL TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH 02-15-2022 The point here is not to deny there are victims in life from minor insults to even murder. I am specifically talking about persons who have taken on the role of victim to the point they feel they have lost control of their lives and have a very negative outlook on life with everything seen through the prism of “I’m a victim mentality”. This outlook on life can only lead to unhappiness and often can be accompanied with anger, anxiety, and depression. If you feel you are a victim of life or you too often believe you take on the role of victim, it is important you honestly evaluate yourself. The following would be typical views of persons who see themselves as victims: 1. Blame others for their station in life. 2. Blame problems from the past and/or present for being unhappy. 3. Do not see inadequacies or lack of direction in self for problems in life. 4. Perceive daily life responsibilities and roadblocks as problems and not opportunities for resolution. 5. Believe life is against them. 6. Feel powerless in life. 7. Feel like destiny does not allow them luck and things always work out poorly for them. 8. Believe no one understands them and they are alone in the world with no understanding and caring….If you feel you have some of these views, you need to develop a new outlook on life and recognize you have control over it, and need to seek out opportunities to prove it. You certainly will be happier and more successful with a positive view on life. The following are some things to do to take responsibility for yourself and quit seeing yourself as a victim: 1. Recognize you are giving ongoing power to persons who may have hurt you or taken advantage of you to still exert control over you. 2. Take control of your life and the decisions you make. 3. Seek out positive people who clearly do not see themselves as victims and start modeling and implementing their behaviors and outlooks. 4. Admit when you have made an inappropriate decision and do not use the word “but” to excuse it. The word “but” is a disclaimer from the responsibility. 5. Use the statements “I will” and “I can” when making a decision to do something. 6. Recognize that failure can be a way to learn how not to do something again as opposed to seeing yourself as a victim and failure. 7. Replace negative self-defeating thoughts about being a victim with positive statements about being responsible for yourself and the decisions you make. 8. As felt necessary, seek out a therapist who can help you replace the negative thoughts of being a victim with positive thoughts of being in control of yourself and your destiny as much as possible.