MAY 9, 2024- Life can be a challenge for a person who comes from a loving home. Unfortunately, for persons who come from non-loving homes, the probabilities of them suffering many characteristics that negatively impact their ability to have happy lives is greatly enhanced. I am not saying all persons who grew up in non-loving homes will be miserable and unhappy persons and cannot be highly successful persons. To the contrary,there are many examples of persons who have come from difficult non-loving homes and have been successful. With that said, not being loved in a home is not only difficult during their youth, but the characteristics they too often acquire can make their lives very difficult to even miserable and self-destructive. The following are characteristics that too often occur for adults who were not loved as children: 1. Low self-esteem. The negative words they heard day after day when growing up unfortunately can continue throughout their lives. The internal critic too often rules. 2. Being a pleaser to the point the person has no boundaries on what is good for them and they simply will do whatever it takes to make another person approve of what they are doing. 3. Isolation from others because of the belief they are not worthy to be with other persons can result in a miserable isolated life. This is what they believe they deserve and where they feel safer emotionally. 4. A desire to control others they encounter in their own lives because they never had control of their lives when growing up. This is obviously self defeating because they then negatively impact relationships with other persons and often lose them and continue to be unhappy and often alone. 5. Addiction and inappropriate use of alcohol and drugs in an attempt to stop the emotional pain which is obviously self-destructive and has no happy ending.. 6. Overcompensating in a job or career that may look successful to the rest of the world, but is only being done to seek approval for their achievements. It is a hollow success that is not being done for their own self satisfaction, but hopefully from receiving approval from others. 7. Abandonment fears in any relationship that does not go well with the belief no one will stay with them because of their conviction the person will, like their parents did, emotionally leave them. Sadly,this often occurs because the other person tires of someone who is always fearful they are leaving and often can be quite drama producing with constant tests to show they will not abandon them. 8. Constant fear of failure because they were never given approval for successes when growing up and believe it will eventually always occur in whatever they try to accomplish. 9. An inability to share insights and deep inner feelings about themselves for fear the information will be used to hurt them. 10. An inability to trust others because of fears of future betrayal and abandonment.