December 12, 2023- There are few things in life more devastating psychologically and leading to ongoing and even long-term trauma than the death of a beloved spouse. Over time,the two persons in many ways become one.When persons marry for life, they are thinking about all the years they hope to spend together sharing loving experiences. They may also have dreams of having children and a wonderful family life. There is an intense feeling of happiness and an eagerness for the future. There are no thoughts of a plan for the death of the loving spouse. When this occurs, it is a totally shattering experience. While caring friends, family members and professionals can be helpful, there is no clear road for the person to navigate emotionally. And for sure, the emotional road will be one with great emotional pain and suffering. Additionally, there can be physical problems resulting from the constant emotional stress on the person’s body. When one does lose a loving spouse, it is critical the surviving spouse not feel a need to immediately address all the concerns that may be coming to the mind. The exception would be financial concerns that must be addressed.The important thing is to recognize that grieving is a very personal experience and there is no one right way to overcome it. Even though there is a need for family and friends to be supportive and helpful, it is a very lonely journey only that person can experience. Important things to do when trying to survive the death of a beloved spouse would include the following: 1. Surround yourself with family and friends to the degree you are comfortable. It is critical there be human support and understanding. 2. Seek out spiritual support to the level of where you are spiritually. If you believe in an eternal life, then you are aware God chose to have your spouse come first and that you will eventually be together again. 3. If you have a more secular view of life, then always remembering the wonderful times you had together will help you go to the next stage of your life without your spouse. 4. Taking care of yourself physically is very important. You can do damage to yourself physically due to your emotional distress if you do not eat appropriately,do not exercise,do not do personal hygiene and generally do not care for yourself. 5. Seek out online groups for grieving the death of a spouse or various community groups or groups with religious affiliation. 6. Seek out a professional therapist experienced in grieving the loss of a spouse to help give direction and support. 7. Do not make rash major life decisions after the death of a spouse. Quitting a job, selling a house, moving to another state, or any other major decision is best done after a period of time of reflection and dealing with the intense grieving that will occur. 8. Do not allow others to determine what is the appropriate amount of time for grieving. That is a personal experience that is totally different for every person. The exception to this statement is when the person grieving the death of a spouse cannot move on and can become a threat to themselves physically and emotionally.