Question
Dr.Braccio: I’ve not silifke eskort numaraları been a good father. My seven and eight year old children care for me more than I deserve. My parents and sister have taken up my parenting with my ex as I’ve been doing everything but looking after them. My ex hates me but has wanted the children to think positively about me not for my sake but so they would not hate a parent. Her respect for me is gone forever but I want to be what my children think I am but what I’m not. My parents tell me to be a good parent and do my job. What should I do?
Answer
You seem to want to be a good parent. Follow your instincts and be one. Their mother chose not to turn them against you. You can be very grateful to her for this. You also can be grateful your parents and sister took up your parenting job and chose not to turn them against you. To be given a second is wonderful.
Too often, even when with great justification, an angered ex-spouse uses all of his or her energy to destroy the relationship of the children with the other parent. Forget what you have not been and focus all your energies into being a good parent. Take this second chance with the zeal of a first time proud papa. Even if your ex really despises you, slowly you may be able to turn this around by being a good parent. Then you two can better work together for the sake of the children. But regardless of that, for now do your parenting job.
The following are some key things to do:
1. Always show your children you love them by being there for them in an honest and loving manner. 2. Go to their events and let them see the pride you have for them and their accomplishments. 3. Be available to them when they desire or need you. They need to know you will be there when they need you. 4. Be available emotionally when they need a strong father to listen to them; and most importantly, give them good advice to help them in their lives. Because you love your children, follow your heart when you give advice. You will then be helpful to them and yourself in the role of a loving father. 5. Show the ex and your family you have changed. Let your parental actions over time do the talking for you. 6. Make sure your ex and your family know how much you appreciate what they have done for the children and you will do your part. 7. Make sure nothing or no one changes the direction of your goal to be a good parent. You would not deserve a third chance if you fail again. 8. Be excited about your future with your children. Few things in life can match the joy of helping our children develop as loving and effective human beings.
Any questions or comments would be appreciated.